Need an urgent advice

I appreciate the legal knowledge of Mr. Chandrashekhar.

All said and done, i will repeat my statement that if we had known about such medical history beforehand, we would not have gone ahead with the alliance in this arranged marriage set up.

To top it all, the girl's erratic behaviour and weird mind set and thought process has clearly reflected that her vintage hormonal problem has started to affect her body and mind. At such a young age why should the couple suffer specially when it has gone so bitter and ugly wherein she has humiliated the family and her husband publicly and even left the house hysterically. There was a long conversation between the couple too before she deserted the boy. The options were in front of her. She still chose to walk out. She may keep doing this time and again. At the end of it, it is the fault of her parents because obviously they knew that marriage could be difficult if such facts were told. This tantamounts to cheating only. No one has the right to spoil someone's life. And i must state that marriage is not sales and marketing. It is an institution based on Mutual Trust. No law on this face of earth can make us rebuild Trust and repose faith in that family. 

There are much better ways of displaying humanity. In such a situation, we can not spoil a life to show humanity by forcefully convincing the couple to reconcile. It is just going to worsen.

Lol Tajobs,

TO THE POINT. :-)

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

@ With higest regards to  ChandraSekhar Sir - Sir you said,

"C'mon yaar! Rohit!  Think from the angle of girl's parents.  When you sell yourself for a job, would you admit your weaknesses in front of prospective employer.  If the girl's parents admit the girl had such and such problems would she ever get a husband?  Doing the job of good salesman is not unethical.  We don't get married with women seeing ISI mark on them"

My Comments:

1) "Sell yourself for job" - This is certainly one of the most inappropriate and most impractical statement I have heard in my 15 years of career spanning both public and private sector. So would like to make a correction to it. Sir, we don't "SELL" ourselves for a job, we "MARKET" ourselves highlighting our capabilities based upon our experience. Now even if someone tells a lie and get through the job, still he will be fixed at a latter stage if found to have lied during the initial proces. Now can he go to the labour commission citing his grieviences that "I sold myself well to get this and they agreed then and now I am being ditched". This is in the case of Private sector employment. Even in public sector (say Armed Forces), you get commissioned but still your original certificates (not even Xerox attested one) are being held for multi-level investigation, so much so that it even goes to concerned Board of Education. Now a commissioned/non-commissioned Officer/Jawan can be dismissed at any point of his career if such fraud his detected. Now can you apply the same "Good Selling" logic out here? C'mon you can't...... In fact nowhere. See the point is simple "A FRAUD IS A FRAUD, MEANT TO DECEIEVE". There cannot be a second opinion on that.

Now Mr Chandrasekhar, lets see it from another fictious situation (Its just a fictious situation with no offenvce meant to anyone) - What if Mr X was found impotent and marriage was non-consumated and Mrs Y on that Ground would have raised the issue and would have claimed Divorce. While Mr X is not ready to give the same. So by your logic "If Mr X has ever admitted his problem before marriage, he would not have got such a wonderful wife :) " Correct Mr Chandrasekhar? So Mr. X has done a wondereful job of an excellent salesman and should not penalized with divorce. Rather he should be appreciated for his ability and should be encouraged to try out his hand on his "FORTE" of upselling. Correct Chandrsekhar Sir?

Now to all the forum member and coming out of the fictuous situation, what I am trying to convey out here by means of these examples is a simple thing. Please condemn "FRAUD", don't defend and encourage it on the name of gender.

One more thing, please go through the various channales for last ten days for crime related news, you will find that "women are competeing" with men nowadays in committing crime. So why this biasness towards women ,the moment we hear a case involving both genders crossed against each other?

Regards,

Rohit

I humbly think this thread has lost relevance and should be closed.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

It is degree of bearability that is important Mr. Rohit.  Being an impotent is an extreme situation which warrants a litigation from the wife.  There are many people who suffer from Asthma, Diabetes etc.  Someone may even object to hiding of these facts which normally are not revealed because these are bearable.  In USA after marriage if it is found that the spouse is snoring during sleep that also becomes a ground for divorce.  We have not yet become so modern in India.  In fact if Dating culture is spread in India most of these problems will be settled because wife and husband can have ample time to know about each other before marriage.  Let us hope India will advance to that level.

We must make full health check up necessary before marriage for both bride and bridegroom so that people do not face this kind of problems.

The logic and thinking patterns in our Elite society of India are leading us to nurture a feeling that Dating culture is best culture for India.  I am saying full medical check up must be made mandatory before marriage because no one should unknowingly have s*x with a spouse without knowing about her medical condition thoroughly.  That may lead to much disastrous consequences.  And after having s*x with someone, one should not say, this is not a healthy person to live with. 

Certificates are held for investigation and sent to Boards for verification?  Oh.  What do they know from certificates?!!  In our profession we get passed in our exams without even knowing the full form of LL.B.  99 out of 100 advocates cannot tell the full form of LL.B, including me. 

And remember I am not taking the side of girl in the case of SR.  I am just saying, think....after having s*x with a woman if a husband and his family gives a certificate to her in society by giving divorce, "this woman is unfit for marital life" .... us aurat pe kyaa beetegi?  Regarding the question of fraud I have already mentioned in earlier posts that non-revelation of certain fact which the party to marriage did not find necessity to reveal may not hint at fraud. 

SR and his brother has a good case to go to courts based on existing laws.  I have absolutely no objection for their taking legal recourse, I am only saying that in India parents may not be willing to reveal all the negative factors relating to girl keeping HMA in view.  Nor it is appropriate for bridegroom and his family, to question the girl's parents whether she is medically fit, before marriage.  It does not appear nice. 

Hence the only option is for making amendment to HMA by saying, "No marriage is valid in the eyes of law, even if performed by following religious rites and customs, if the bride and bridegroom having seen the medical history of each other by way of obtaining latest Full Health Checkup of each other from competent Medical professional gives consent to marriage by way of written document which must be registered at Registrar at Marriages".

If we feel shy about this process and say this is against our culture and traditions, then we will be hurting one or the other in marital relationship. We will be saving many men and women from social humiliation if we make this law because if any party to marriage rejects the life partner before marriage, it does not cause such mental agony to him/her than after rejecting him/her after having s*x.

Read "gives consent" as "does not give consent" in the 3rd Paragraph.

Dear Shri Tajobsindia,

Thanks.  There are many Indian laws which we should make compatible to Indian culture and Traditions.  Culture and traditions of a country evolve based on the climatic conditions.  In Western Countries which are basically cold countries, having beer keeps them cool.  Wearing Suit keeps them warm.  How many of us as Advocates agree with me that the dress we wear does not suit our climatic conditions?  India is a tropical country for more than half a year excepting winters.  In such climate we need to wear a khadi dress which keeps us cool.  Secondly, the s*xual habits and culture of a certain place also evolves depending on the impact of climate on one's behaviour.  Western countries are cold countries.  So men and women naturally feel like being hot.  It is not only beer but also drive of s*x that keeps them hot.  So the s*xual drive in Western men and women is more than Indian men and women owing to their climatic conditions.  Accordingly they have dating culture and based on it, their laws are also evolved. 

 Now the question for us whether our culture and laws are compatible to our climatic conditions?  We have to ask this question.  If the elite society in India got used to pub culture, hot drinks and want to remain hot s*xually by attending Discotheques and ape Western culture it is because they live in Air-conditioned atmosphere because wealth made them rich.  But you don’t find the same drive in middle class people to remain hot. 

So my view is we have to make our culture and laws compatible to Indian culture and traditions.  Our laws should be humane and understand the sensitivities of a girl and her parents who is subjected to social humiliation after marriage calling her unfit for marital life.  The remedy should not lie in legal practice but in the law itself.  The way a legislation is drafted itself should speak that the legislator had kept in his mind the sentiments associated with a certain law.  There are many laws in our Indian law which do not keep the sensitivities of people who follow our culture and traditions.

Take for instance, the right to privacy of a certain individual.  There is no right to privacy granted by Indian constitution, but Article 21 speaks of Right to personal liberty, which does not directly relate to Right to privacy.  Indians are basically private people.  They do not like to share their private lives with people that they don’t like.  Take the provisions in Cr.P.C. which empower the Police Officers to come to a house with a search warrant and imagine he takes away the hard disk of a Computer to investigate in lab.  In the process of Data Recovery he uses a software through which he also recovers, formatted files and deleted files.  In that Data contains many mails and pictures that only a husband and wife can share with each other.  The policeman is a ordinary human being, with ordinary propensities.  He saves the Data to share with his friends during Cocktail parties.  He has fun with it later having hot drinks.  He need not upload the pictures relating to private life of a Citizen on any Website.  The very fact that he had seen them subjects mental agony to people and causes social humiliation. 

Now what is the protection law gives to their private life?  Whether our laws compatible with our culture?  It is true that some person is found guilty of a crime and through Data recovered from the hard disk his crime is proved but at the same time, no institution, no officer howsoever high in status has a right to meddle with the private life of an individual.   The fact that some evidence is found to prove him guilty of some offense does not give any moral right to any public authority, including police to intrude into his private life.   Why a certain official should not be found guilty of intruding into the private life of a citizen even if he is able to find that citizen is found guilty of a certain crime based on search made using search warrant?  And what if the official cannot find any evidence which finds the citizen guilty but he had accessed all Data relating to private life of a citizen.  What is the remedy available to citizen in such case?

How do you make these laws compatible and sensitive to our culture and traditions? 

OK OK Sir,

We heard it loud and clear, can we leave this thread untouched now.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com