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Rita Bhatiya (Personal)     21 April 2014

Need divorce advice!

Hello,

I want to initiate divorce and below is my complete problem, would like to know what options I have. Couple of years back, I fell in love with a guy. We hit off well. At the time he met me, he was not working anywhere, staying with bunch of guys and spending their money and his own parent’s money. While I was working, during the time I was so much blind in love, I financed all his, so called loss making business ventures, took few lakhs personal loan on my name for him. Took care of his day to day costs and so forth. This continued about a year, before we decided to move to Bangalore.

So I applied for a job in Bangalore and moved there. He was supposed to stay with his brother but he stayed with me. We lived in a live-in for 15 months. My only condition was, him to get a job, before I talk to my parents for marriage. After 7 months, he got a job here. I discussed with my parents and after much deliberation, they agreed for the marriage. Once our engagement was done, he quit his job despite of my protests and continued living with me again without getting any job. I became helpless, to go against the marriage because all the arrangements were made. On confrontation, he would always assure me and even promised me that once marriage is done, he’ll find a job. All this while, I took care of all his expenses and luxuries. I always maintained good image of him in my family.

Once our marriage was done, he soon turned back on his promise. Over and above that, his brother started living with us. No one, either he or his brother would bear any expenses. We lived in a luxury rent apartment, which I would bear fully. I used to exhaust my salary completely on them. Then he used to ask his parents for money as well, and they would transfer money to my account rather than his account. I had ZERO savings plus his ongoing personal loan. All I got in return was fights and taunts from all of them. Fights increased day by day, he got verbally aggressive and would break things at home. He used to publicly humiliate me and would pick fights with me over small things. 4 months into the marriage, he finally got a job and that too out of city.

Now, it has been 10 months he has lived away. I used to visit him initially for couple of months but as our fights grew larger, we stopped meeting each other. Finally back in December, I decided that I can’t continue and should go ahead with divorce from him. I informed him about my decision, but he never agreed to the same. Also, he informed my mother to create a family and society pressure to change my decision. But there is no way, I can live with a guy who leeched all my energy and money. Mentally, I’m drained out. I finally realized I won’t be able to ever stay with him. Now, he has come back to Bangalore but I am living alone and he probably lives with his brother. After being independent and away from him, I have started feeling better health wise and gained mental peace. Also, doing well in my career as well.

I want to know, what should be my legal course.



Learning

 11 Replies

Mahesh R. Sonawane (Lawyer/Fight for justice)     21 April 2014

 Don't be panic, file divorce petition U/s. 13 [1][i-a] of the Hindu marriage act.

Collect necessary evidences, documents of expenses etc. you have to make out grounds for divorce, I think you have sufficient material to succeed.

You can also file complaint u/s. 498A, for the pressure on your husband and his relatives, so that they can come for mutual divorce.

 

 

fight (personal)     22 April 2014

Mutual consent divorce u/s 13[1] is the fastest and probably the only way to get divorced. What is your ask ? Alimony/maintenance/other financial compensation from him or peaceful settlement/divorce. If you want to get divorce peacefully then explain the man to call at 08882 498 498. The forum will probably explain him and get him ready for divorce. Court/legal battles are time consuming, stress full and drain on money. Only people who benefit are lawyers/liars.

fight (personal)     22 April 2014

Ask your husband to call at 08882498498. The forum will do the magic of convincing him what is best for both of you. Do not waste your lives at courts.

ANEESH TRIVEDI (ADVOCATE) (Advocate)     22 April 2014

What a pity rubbish idea given byMahesh R. Sonawane?

He himself whether dont know to file not only false 498A though if it be true then it is solid wastage of time from both side ie from girl side and brother side here she is asking advice about divorce amd he is advising her to file dowry cases?

now one can imagine for Men wealfare when one men become ing the villian of other man and guiding a lady to file cases so that advocates and police like him extort money from boy and girl ?

Rita bhatiyaji dont go for such suicidal act better try to solve the matter amicable and out of court once you start movemnet of court and greedy advocate then you have to waste your golden time money energy and in return you will never get anything except a tag of 498A wife and stillthen divorce process is not so easy so better try to save your life if not then go for MCD that is the best solution.

ANEESH TRIVEDI (ADVOCATE) (Advocate)     22 April 2014

What a pity rubbish idea given byMahesh R. Sonawane?

He himself whether dont know to file not only false 498A though if it be true then it is solid wastage of time from both side ie from girl side and brother side here she is asking advice about divorce amd he is advising her to file dowry cases?

now one can imagine for Men wealfare when one men become ing the villian of other man and guiding a lady to file cases so that advocates and police like him extort money from boy and girl ?

Rita bhatiyaji dont go for such suicidal act better try to solve the matter amicable and out of court once you start movemnet of court and greedy advocate then you have to waste your golden time money energy and in return you will never get anything except a tag of 498A wife and stillthen divorce process is not so easy so better try to save your life if not then go for MCD that is the best solution.

Biswanath Roy (Advocate)     22 April 2014

As to your statement of factsnarrated elaborately it transpires that you husband committed harassment and cruelty to you at the cost of your ardent love Its his sheer foolishness. If he agrees to give you mutual consent divorce then its O.K. otherwise you shall have to file an application for Divorce u/s.13(1) of HMA immediately. There is no other alternative remedy.

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     22 April 2014

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Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     22 April 2014

u dont have any option other than filing for divorce and proving ur grounds

 

ur own statements show that the husband was unemployed since before the marriage. u knew this fact. still u married him. means, u loved him as he was.

 

HOW CAN U BLAME HIM NOW ?.

malipeddi jaggarao (retired banker)     22 April 2014

"I fell in love with a guy. We hit off well. At the time he met me, he was not working anywhere, staying with bunch of guys and spending their money and his own parent’s money. While I was working, during the time I was so much blind in love, I financed all his, so called loss making business ventures, took few lakhs personal loan on my name for him. " - All these actions of you are before marriage.  You know fully well about his attitude still you preferred to marry him.   How can u expect a change in his attitude after the marriage.  He got the licence for his paracitic dependence. 

Still I agree with the opinion of expert Mr.Roy.  You try for MCD.  If he does not agree, my personal opinion is - ignore him for some time.  Watch whether there is any change.  If there is no change, and if you wish to remarry, you will have to initiate legal process for divorce through court which may take its own time.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     23 April 2014

Even my views are similar to Mr. Malipeddi Jagga Rao, that it is too early to call quits to your married life.  As you said that living separately away from him you have started feeling better health wise and gained mental peace and also that you are doing well in your career, it is better to continue this life for some more time, say for a period of another six months to one year, do not make any contacts with him during this period, allow the time to pass between you both, the dead silence during this period will certainly bring some change either in a positive or negative way.  Then you will be having a chance to proceed as per the result which the time answered. So in my opinion you should not be misguided by any greedy advocate or rumor mongers in and around you to rush up to the court for legal solutions to discontinue your marital voyage so soon. You may act at the right time when the situation compels you to take a drastic step, until then just wait patiently.

PRAVEEN KUMAR BHATNAGER (LAWYER)     26 April 2014

 

Dear Questioner,

 

Under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, as enacted originally, though cruel was one of the grounds for obtaining judicial separation but it was not a ground for obtaining divorce. The word cruelty was not defined in the Act but in Section 10 which dealt with judicial separation the word cruelty was used in a restricting sense because it was provided that either party to a marriage may present petition praying for a decree for judicial separation on the ground that the other party has treated the petitioner with such cruelty as to cause a reasonable apprehension in the mind of the petitioner that it will be harmful or injurious for the petitioner to live with the other party. Section 13 of the Act deals with divorce. As enacted originally it did not have cruelty as one of the grounds for seeking divorce. The Legislature of Uttar Pradesh wished to include cruelty also as a ground for divorce and with that view in mind by its Act No.13 of 1962, Section 13 of the Hindu Marriage Act was amended to Include cruelty as a ground for divorce. The amendment was to the effect that in sub-section (1) of Section 13, after clause (a), clause (i-a) was inserted as under:

"(i-a)- has persistently or repeatedly treated the petitioner with such cruelty as to cause reasonable apprehension in the mind of the petitioner that it will be harmful or injurious for the petitioner to live with the other party, or"

 

It appears that except Uttar Pradesh, no other State made any amendment In Section 13 of the Hindu Marriage Act so as to have cruelty as a ground for divorce. It was only in the year 1976 that the Parliament by its Marriage Laws (Amendment) Act amended Section 13 of the Hindu Marriage Act, to make cruelty also a ground for divorce. This amendment extended to the whole of India except the State of Jammu and Kashmir. After the aforesaid amendment in 1976, now the ground of cruelty for judicial separation as well as for divorce became as under:

"(i) has, after the solemnization of the marriage, treated the petitioner with cruelty;"

 

Cruelty contemplated by the aforesaid clause may be both physical and mental.

At present the law of divorce is as under:

(1) Any marriage solemnized, whether before or after the commencement of this Act, may, on a petition presented by either the husband or the wife, be dissolved by a decree of divorce on the ground that the other party-

(i) has, after the solemnization of the marriage, had voluntary, s*xual intercourse with any person other than his or her spouse ; or

(ia) has, after the solemnization of the marriage, treated the petitioner with cruelty; or

(ib) has deserted the petitioner for a continuous period of not less than two years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition; or

(ii) has ceased to be a Hindu by conversion to another religion; or

(iii) has been incurably of unsound mind, or has been suffering continuously or intermittently from mental disorder of such a kind and to such an extent that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent.

Explanation.-In this clause,-

(a) the expression "mental disorder" means mental illness, arrested or incomplete development of mind, psychopathic disorder or any other disorder or disability of mind and includes schizophrenia; 

(b) the expression "psychopathic disorder" means a persistent disorder or disability of mind (whether or not including sub-normality of intelligence) which results in abnormally aggressive or seriously irresponsible conduct on the part of the other party, and whether or not it require or is susceptible to medical treatment; or

(iv) has been suffering from a virulent and incurable from of leprosy; or

(v) has been suffering from venereal disease in a communicable from ; or

(vi) has renounced the world by entering any religious order; or

(vii) has not been heard of as being alive for a period of seven years or more by those persons who would naturally have heard of it, had that party been alive.

Explanation.-In this sub-section, the expression "desertion" means the desertion of the petitioner by the other party to the marriage without reasonable cause and without the consent or against the wish of such party, and includes the willful neglect of the petitioner by the other party to the marriage, and its grammatical variations and cognate expressions shall be construed accordingly. 

(1A) Either party to a marriage, whether solemnized before or after the commencement of this Act, may also present a petition for the dissolution of the marriage by a decree of divorce on the ground-

(i) that there has been no resumption of cohabitation as between the parties to the marriage for a period of one year or upwards after the passing of a decree for judicial separation in a proceeding to which they were parties; or

(ii) that there has been no restitution of conjugal rights as between the parties to the marriage for a period of one year or upwards after the passing of a decree for restitution of conjugal rights in a proceeding to which they were parties.

(2) A wife may also present a petition for the dissolution of her marriage by a decree of divorce on the ground,-

(i) in the case of any marriage solemnized before the commencement of this Act, that the husband had married again before such commencement or that any other wife of the husband married before such commencement was alive at the time of the solemnization of the marriage of the petitioner:

Provided that in either case the other wife is alive at the time of the presentation of the petition; or

(ii).that the husband has, since the solemnization of the marriage, been guilty of rape, sodomy or bestiality; or

(iii) that in suit under section 18 of the Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act, 1956, (78 of 1956.) or in a proceeding under section 125 of the Code of Criminal Procedure, 1973 (2.of 1974.) (or under the corresponding section 488 of the Code of Criminal Procedure, 1898), (5 of 1898.) a decree or order, as the case may be, has been passed against the husband awarding maintenance to the wife notwithstanding that she was living apart and that since the passing of such decree or order, cohabitation between the parties has not been resumed for one year or upwards;

(iv) that her marriage (whether consummated or not) was Solemnized before she attained the age of fifteen years and she has repudiated the marriage after attaining that age but before attaining the age of eighteen years.

Explanation.-This clause applies whether the marriage was solemnized before or after the commencement of the Marriage Laws (Amendment) Act, 1976.] (68 of 1976.)  

 

 


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