Need divorce from narcissist husband

dear shonee kapoor, i agree with Agneepath and Rajiv,

  trusting one party without sufficient reason will never lead anyone to truth. this is biasness and blindness from which today indian judiciary suffers much.

i have heard anandi but without hearing from her hubby, i cannot know what actually is going on.

besides i can't find a reason why i have to maintain my wife after all ties cut off by divorce. 

don't you think women got both their freedom and money by just simply saying that they are mentally totured.

nobody knows the reality.

i will suggest a simple modification of divorce law: elimination of maintainance clause. thus giving justice to both husbend and wife. wife get her divorce and husbend get his money.

i am a victim of a similar situation . my husband has been extremely abusive when are alone and shows off a loving figure when others are around. even my parents beleived they have got a wonderful son-in-law initially until they came to see his real face. i left him due to the emotional abuses . now he actually calls up all our relatives ( please note that i am not eggaerating ) and cries to them saying that my parents and my relatives split us , when we both were living happily.  he also throws up very cruel comments about me .   he has now filed a rcr . i am firm with my decision of not going back . all what i want from him is to leave us alone in peace and i do not want any maintanence from him for me or my child .

it might be true that some women are misusing the divorse laws , however it is sad to see the forum members generalizing such statements in a public forum.  i am sure there are much more men who misuse the law to avoid maintenence even in genuine cases .

Hi ak, 
I respect you for your decision. I firmly believe that any person who is REALLY harassed, would not be interested in money. She will either just want to get out of the marriage, or would want to get him punished - which is perfectly fine. Many women who first file cases and then do an "out of court" settlement to withdraw them, are nothing more then extortionist. A dignified woman will never settle for money for tortures done to her. The two most common laws are "Dowry harassment (even when there was no dowry involved, and no harassment)", and Domestic Violence. 

On generalizing, interesting fact: Out of every 100 dowry harassment cases, only 2 finally get conviction (a fact). That means, at least more than 90% are misused. Quite general. eh? 

Anyway, good luck to you, just contest the RCR. I think even your husband might be doing all these tactics because he wants to save maintenance. Once he is assured you wouldn't want even a penny, I THINK he will easily agree for a mutually consented divorce. 

Arnab,

In that case, I should not even advise men. Because there also, I am listening to one side of the story.

AK,

No law on earth can now force you to go and stay with your spouse against your wishes, contest the RCR.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

@ ak,

I agree with ur comments but the thing is that u are judging ur husband only from ur perspective. It seems that u r little bit self centered and not thinking about ur child's future. Even if ur husband has filed RCR, u shud meet him and communicate ur issues to him. If you can come to some conclusion it would be beneficial to both of u and the child's future would be wonderful as he has a full right to get love and affection from both the parents. I would request you to visit any child rights website and read the ill effects of child separated from parents.

It is quite possible that even u have not understood ur husband and his parents sentiments even this can be treated as emotional abuse to ur husband's family. Still, ur husband is trying best to save the marriage. See in any marriage there would be ups and downs but there shud be a feeling of love, sacrifice and adjustments in order to make it successful and set aside the egos as it is the most self destruction tool.

I request u to give one more chance to ur relation and give utmost importance to ur child's future otherwise in wat ways we would be answerable to our future generation if there are no human values in present times.

Hello,

First of all I thank those who gave me human suggestions. I would like to mention that am not at all interested to receive a single penny from him(no maintenance), I just said he is played a trick. Filing RCR at the same time calling me an incapable wife. He had been more than a Narcissist,  a cruel man. he treated me worse than a slave. But he planned everything very very smartly.

Ak,

I agree with your points and  totally understand your condition.

Just like her I just want my peace my life and my smiles back.

Please understand, I believe people writing here have real and genuine problems, if they had to play a trick there are many tantrums to play out of this forum. I trust this forum is to help people.

Also for the people who might be thinking that few woman play smart for those this a humble request to understand: : almost every woman at first place tries, till her last breath to save her marriage and keep her husband and kids happy at any cost.

I also agree because of few women, with whom people above might have bad experience, all are to be blamed.  Men also do play tricks. I think this forum is not to argue for whether men are good or women.

So lets focus only on to suggest and help people, who badly need it. 

There are no offenses. Thanks.

If a lady is really harassed by the hubby, & has firmly decided not to cohabit with her at any cost+ no money is required by her...........................JUST TELL THIS 2 HIM, most of the times he ends up dragging the matter just for 2 reasons:

1) He is not sure that u wil agree for MCD so easily

2) U do not need his money

So, like mature fellows talk it out & go for MCD & have PEACE

no my point is you listen to both side, both men and women to know the truth and then advice. then only you will not be biased.

no you listen to both men and women and then only you are not biased. thank you.

You are welcome my friend.

if annandi is not interested in single penny from her husband(difficult to believe) then go for MCD and live in peace and let your husband live in peace . If you have already not framed him in false cases of dowry then he will agree for divorce if he is not fool enough in love