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chitra (software engineer)     17 January 2013

Need guidance

Hi. I am chitra. I am a software engineer. I got married on 5th march 2012. It is a purely arranged marriage.he said he is working in TCS and in weekends puts plan for building construction. We enquired whether TCS is main job or construction. He told TCS is his main job. His house was too small to adapt for 4 members(his parents and we too). He told that he bought new flat and after marriage we will go there. His parents told that they have elder daughter who got married and settled in poonamalee. they gave her share and she is living happily. She will come only in vacations. They demanded for 400gms gold worth 15 lakhs and house hold appliances worth 4 lakhs. During marriage , my dad gave all those demands for me. Everything went well. I went to my in law home and came to know that they did not buy flat yet. Its a lie. And that small house is not for 4 members but for 8 members including his sister family. she is staying with them only together. They told a lie in this too. I dint take it as a issue.I started to mingle with them but they dint treat me as one of their family member but instead treated as a servant. I cooked , washed clothes for all 8 members. My sister in law dint allow me to enter the bedroom. Only after getting her permission only , i should enter. They got all my jewels and kept with them. slowly they started to demand for more jewels and appliances from me and my parents. They asked for more gold chains and necklaces for their use. They asked my dad to give my property share worth 2 crores now itself. They demanded my salary also. My parents and relatives refused to give money further and asked to return all my jewels back to me .They asked my sister in law to go to separate home.I got back my jewels and my sister in law went to a new home for rent in next street. So my in laws got frustated and started to give mental tortures to me.They used to finish off the food before i return from job. I used to sleep with empty stomach. If i get to prepare food , my mother in law used to keep all the groceries hidden some where so that i cant cook and eat. She wont allow us to go outing and not to sleep together. She used to create a scene as health prob and take her son to hospital. they will return only by early morning. They would not have gone to hospital instead slept in his sister house. They used to do daily like this. My mother in law asks me to get out of house or to die. Full of depression and mental tortures. So i came to my parents home by april end. After a discussion with relatives and parents , my husband decided to come for separate home by june which is again next to his street. Same prob carried on but only hapinness is that i had food to eat. Listening to my in laws words , my husband used to kick me, beat with helmet , slap me for silly reasons, throw food on my face. I wont even reveal anything to my parents. Adjusted with all these tortures. He used to bath , eat and sometimes even sleep with his parents and sister family. he wont even think that i am alone. Once i got conceived , he created problem on the same day i got the pregnancy result. he tortured me by scratching my hands with knife. Asked me to go to my home and not to return back or else to come and stay with his parents and sister family together accepting all those tortures. He also said to get from my parents what ever they ask for. We filed a complaint on him and his family in local station in chennai by august. They sent us for counselling and said to live in separate house till delivery. Once again we started to live in the same rented house from september end. He left his job in TCS and carried on with mason work.At first i felt bad later i changed my mind for him. Slowly once again he started to create prob without considering that i am pregnant.He not even gave single rupee from his salary from the day after marriage also.I used to spend my salary for paying his credit card , phone bill , for buying house hold stuffs , food items , groceries etc. Balance salary he used to get from me and will give just 30 rupees for bus. But minimum 50 rupee is required for me to travel. I cant eat what i wish to eat also because of no money. My dad used to give me 500 rupees for one week expense.my husband Started to beat me on my chest. Made me to starve for water. Made me to do all the work and struggle. Loaded me with bunch of work which is of no use like washing the same clothes again and again for no reason. On december 24th night , he started to push me out of the house. Started to scold me and my parents in abusive language. Asked for more money , jewels. If i dont give , he cannot proceed a life with me further. His parents dialled him and teached him what to scold and said him what to do. Accordingly he tortured me by slapping , holding my neck and pushing me down on the floor without considering that i am 6 month pregnant. His dad came and shouted at me using abusive language. They dint drop the fight right from 7 pm till 10pm , so i called my parents to take me back to home as it was too late. Once my parents came , his parents , sister and her husband came home and shouted at us badly using abusive language. They threatened me that they will consume poison and die if i live with him. They said that they dont like me living with their son. They pushed me and my parents out of the house. We informed to local station, gave complaint on them and went to home. By next day dec 25th , my husband with out knowing that i have given complaint , went to station to give complaint on my dad stating that they took me back to home. So far they dint proceed on our complaint. The local station inspector went for vacation. Our complaint was in pending. So we approached Assistant commissioner of that station and initiated the process. He arranged for enquiry in which his parents refused to allow their son to live with me. finally AC told him to stay in separate house away from his family members. My husband too accepted for separate house near my office and said us to see for house and inform him so that he will come to live with me in that house.So we again went for compromise with written letter. My parents arranged for new house near office , gave advance and initial rent for the house and shifted the things. After arrangements , we informed to my husband. But now again he is refusing to come and live. He is saying that his parents is not allowing and they are threatening that they will die. He is not considering that i am carrying his baby. He admits that he wont come to live again with me. We informed about his denial to local station. They dint take any action so far. Please help me providing some suggestion. 1) Cheated and married. 2) Dowry demand 3) mental tortures and physical tortures during pregnancy 4) pressure and depression to me and my family. What is the solution for my life and my baby life? Is this a justice to spoil a girls life by the word marriage and leaving her for the sake of their parents threats. I am helpless with my life lost by those cheats and now my baby also has to suffer further. There is no justice for me? Please help :'(


Learning

 9 Replies

Sanjeev (Lawyer)     17 January 2013

The relations seems to be very strained at this point whomsoever may be at fault its good to live peacefully for some time at your parents place forgetting the husband and his family ill doings as else it would create more mental pressure on you and your health which would be bad for you at this stage.

Try some elders to communicate with your husbands family if some solution as to the married life can be arrived at...if not possible then take a Mutual divorce and seperate.

 

Other way is to file cases on them bpth Criminal and civil though that wont help in resolving the tension but would finish off the relation.

Arvind Singh Chauhan (advocate)     17 January 2013

after going through the whole story threre is no chance of any amicable solution. If you want to get rid of such relation the divorce is the only remedy, you can take back all your stridhan also.

 

 

If you want to punish them you can take resort of court if police is not taking action. You can file application under 156(3) Cr.P.C. to lodge your FIR and to investigate the matter or you may file private complaint. In addtion to this you may file complaint under protection of women from domestic violence Act. Take help of lawyer.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     18 January 2013

I agree to above two ld. brothers’ sound and short opinions.

To value add I like to express as below;

In arranged marriage such as these the relative ‘concept of Justice' is derived by only two ways as per my thinking. Pick one option from below after consultation with your family / friends / men and agents to execute the same and thus receive ‘justice’ which you understands as here you are most affected person.

The marriage is dead for all practical reasons. No point in reviving it or feeling sorry about yourself now. Hence I place two options;

Option 1 – Call husband to a neutral mediation and press for plain MCD where all your istridhan and joint properties are handed over to you at first motion and no child custody for him. In minimum 6 months time you and parties yet to born child will get feel of ‘justice’ which is Decree in a MCD will be awarded and as and when you come back to social life post delivery re-marry / re-start life after 100 times more due diligence of your next would be groom / his side of each and every family members so that history may not repeat again. Tell present husband  to agree for plain MCD as he and his side do not have any option once Criminal and quasi Criminal motions lodged by your side and then you as well as he / his side will definitely suffer but his side will suffer more. He will understand the message and agree on MCD is my view.

Option 2 – Call your family / friends / relatives / men and agent and take your belongings and return back to natal home. From natal home initiate directly in a Magistrate Court Criminal / quasi Criminal and Civil Divorce matters. Your presence is required at filing (admission) stage and later State takes your interest forward. At a much later stage your physical presence is again required i.e. during evidence stage and all these years you have to yourself and for the baby / career etc. when these nature cases on floor of Courts. As per Law of 'natural justice’ people against whom you filed Criminal and quasi Criminal legal actions either get a acquittal or conviction of a Court as "justice delivered to you from a Court". In this option 2 it is seen that it takes years say 3-5-7 years to prove paras from your brief but then that is for what Justice is meant for if one is coming here and asking "I want justice" !.

Otherwise to me people who do “arranged marriages” they should not later ask for ‘justice’ as arranged marriages are for people who take stock of top to bottom of either would be sides and then agree for a marriage and not afterwards seek justice from Court.

By taking stock of either sides before marriage one comes to know all positive / negative / hidden / open issues of both sides of families that with which a arranged marriage start getting turning into bad marriage and then acrimonious dozens of litigation parties suffers into including yet to born child of parties. 

If you don’t like my reply then read last 50 discussions in Family Law Forum / Criminal Law Forum / Civil Law Forum queries put before us by common people just like you and opposite gender which experts in Family Law matters discussed / provided solutions and it will give you glimpse of right picture as to what actually ‘justice’ in Family Law matters is more or less all about then pick option which you find more suitable for you.

For moving motion on either of the above option you would naturally need local advocate found via reference help, which may not be a major concern right now as right legal option has to be picked up first which is what for you are here for. Hence tailor make your own justice model.

Ranee....... (NA)     18 January 2013

Chitra, your story of harrassment has no difference with that of a uneducated girl that faces in matrimonial home.

It is strange for me how you agreed for such a relationship after dowry demand being a software engineer?

Your marriage is almost 10 months old and now you are 6months pragnent.Why you let you to conceive baby of such a abusive, liar and greedy man?

There is no point of  living with such a person even if he agrees to take you back.I think you are earning and you can well look after your child.So follow tajobs advice , if he is not ready for mutual then only go for criminal cases.

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     18 January 2013

Press strongly the button of MCD. I guess he wont come forward . If he doesnt come forward, screw him  by all means!

Why everyone suggests here MCD inspite knowing that your pain, because they dont want you to have more pains in loosing money, energy in PS and courts. Atleast through MCD, you can establish peaceful life in few years.

chitra (software engineer)     18 January 2013

Thanks to all. All your suggestions will relieve me from pain further. One more doubt. He accepted for separate home near office and went for compromise. Later when i called him after arrangements , he denied. Will police will re-initiate the given complaint or they will ask for new complaint? Local inspector told me yesterday that she sent our files to RTO to investigate under Dowry Prohibition Act. May be to escape from the case , he accepted for mean time? Can he go for any type of bail to avoid any arrest?

rajiv_lodha (zz)     18 January 2013

Go for MCD and remember this case can be filed after 1st anniversary of marriage only to the least

chitra (software engineer)     18 January 2013

hi Ranee .I adjusted all the troubles like uneducated girl to extend my marriage life. Believed that one day my husband will change. But till now he dint change and no hope now. I thought he will change if i get conceived for baby but even then no change. :(

chitra (software engineer)     21 January 2013

Hi all . Today i went to local station. Saw and talked with A/c. We told everything. Again he said the SI to do enquiry on the same compromised complaint and ask him to stay away from his parents intervention , as they are threatening us that they will consume poison. A/c already told to see house for rent near my office as i am pregnant so could not travel. my husband too accepted. Now he is refusing and asking to see in some other place. we saw there also and informed him. Again he is changing to some other place. Keep on making us to roam and spend our money.As you all said , We even talked for MCD but he dint give way for us to talk. he said no and disconnected.If he dont want to give divorce , he should live with me without creating probs. But he is saying he wants to live and not coming to live. A/c said to put FIR on him. What they will do after putting FIR? What cases they will put on him? i am not aware of it. Please do tell me. :(

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