| Originally posted by : Deepak |
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hi,
Have had love marriage with my wife in 2012.We got married under special marriage act and thereafter after few months told our parents.Things were fine for while. After the birth of our child in 2014, our problems became bigger .Issues relating to she not taking adequate measures in feeding our child properly after weaning of the breast milk to the way she keeps the house dirty , to issues related to her spending money and wife asking me to move to a separate house. I did all that and moved away to different city after getting job.My wife has in the past month, has started using the DIVORCE word for every small arguement and threatens to isolate my seeing our daughter . She has walked out of the house and taking our child with her in my absence along with beloginings when i was away from home and not informing me. I have always tried to patch up things when even its her fault , for the sake of the child as divorce can be very hard on the child.
Now again she has walked away from the house taking the child and belongings away. I met her outside and tried to convince her to come back. She is very demanding, stubborn and strong headed. Comes from higher financial family as compared to mine. I have tried to make things work , but she uses our child as bait and threatens to prevent me from seeing my child.Does not help in any off the house hold chores and expects things to be done her way only. Has spoken ill about me and my family to her family and now to 3rd party also. The meeting which we had a short synopsis of it from her side is - Cant stay together , need time , will allow you to see our daughter in her parent house only . I am looking at JCD of our 2 yr old daughter who is very attached to me . Need advice n what to do . I dont want divorce . please help |
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She is gone, and she wont come back. Period. Now what will you do? She wants the baby, as baby wont dictate terms, but you will if she stays with you. All that has happened and she does not have patience to put up with you, she could do it in bed but cant do it in real life outside of bed, neither you could tolerate her for long, she is gone and you say one less headache. Now all you want is the keeping in touch with the baby and not her. People like Venkat above will only suggest going to court,( he has been roaming to court, now he wants you too I suppose to roam to court ) like he did with his wife, only to spoil relationships and making way for almost unending litigation.
What I suggest is, you keep visiting the wife and the baby even if it is at their place. But don’t stop visiting. At the same time gather sympathy as she left you, you should make aware to your people and hers that the fault is hers inspite of you trying your level best to accommodate her ego. Start reconciliation process via relatives and friends from now on. All this will help to join back.
If she had left just like that, it would be no problem for you to approach even court with a RCR petition etc. But as there is child out of wedlock, you need to think and move, as it is question of life of your daughter. Wife is a nut does not mean you should be on the same page as her. It will be tough to reconcile and bend even further after whatever you have done for her so far, but you have to do it for the sake of the new born child who is just a baby. You know that your wife is cunning, making use of the baby as your weakness and asking you to dance further more to her tunes.
Ask your parents to talk to her parents, let them put some gyaan into her brainless head. But at no point approach the court. If she wants anything legal, let her approach the court, but not you. You may take down my number and keep in touch for any future advice.
Shared parenting plan need to be worked out with your wife. So formulate a plan about expenses, visiting hours etc. keep this as last resort. Once you go to court, you will lose everything. She will win hands down. Beware.
