Need suggestion

What is the comlaint against you?Is there any allegation of harassment or torture? Whaty prompted her to stay away from you ? If extracting money from you was the motive, face the case.

Do not give a single paisa to anybody.  It will only lead to more and more demands.  Let them file the cases.  Fight them, the demands will come down.  There is no need to promise anything to anybody.  Fight the cases on their merits.

You were looking after your wife and child very well.  You gave her whatever she wanted. Your parents, sister and brother-in-law are not staying with you. There was no quarrel between you. She went home only  because her grandmother was not well and not after a fight with you. Then suddenly she files a police complaint.

The whole thing appears illogical to me. Is there something left out by you unstated? What is the family background of your wife and her family? Are they from a criminal background? Did she marry you only to extract money from you?

You appear to be very rich. They ask you Rs.50 lakhs and you agree to give Rs.30/ lakhs. Why?

Please state all facts both favourable to you and those not favourable to you. Giving advice without that is meaningless. 

Without fight if you give money to her, you are indirectly accepting your mistake. If your lady house keeper comes to know this then she will be ready to file rape case against you then you need to pay money to her tooo.... are you ready?

Let your wife fight in court and get money....

If you put this mouch money in bank and with the interest you can fight against her to make sure that your wife wont get money without pain.

Slowly thenmay come down to you without any moeny for her settlement may happne. But you need to give money to your kid.

Hi Rama...

Do not surrender to it....Let people also see the real picture of women abusing men...

1. She may file a DV, 498a etc...

2. Yes you can take your kid. You may have to fight for child custody in which the kid's welfare will be seen. And there is no bar on remarriage..

3.Many factors lead to maitanence amount. it is generally  20 - 30 % of your take home salary after deducting any debts you have. Your wife's capability to earn will also be seen before granting maintanence.

Regards

Chetan(dot)7679(at)gmail(dot)com

Hi ALL,

Thanks for reply.

Hi Ramani,

Here is the whole story Please advice If I did any mistake in my marriage life.

I married her 4 years back. She is the 4th daughter of her parents. She is last girl so her parents pampared her like anything.If she want anything that has to be there. Whatever she tell they will listen without thinking it is correct or wrong.They pampared her lot

I may suspect follwing reasons she was pampared.

she has one younger brother and died because of cancer. My wife is very close to her brother.After his brother died she stop going to college and stay in home and help her parents to bring back. she wear her brothers clothes and satisfy her parents. she took house responsibilty and take decisions. at that time all her sisters got married.After some time her marraige was fixed and cards also printed. but marriage was cancelled. we knew before the marrige itself.we kkew that while talking in phone he put some conditions dont talk with your sisters and borther-in-laws so on. So my wife father cancelled the married

She completed  degree(BA) from home. they are not  economically sound. even my co brothers are still depend on my father-in-law. they do small businesses near to her native place.

About my family, My father was retired offcer. My sister did  Postgraduation in PG . Now she is house wfie. My brother -in- law is  working in software company.

My parents look that girl and impressed very well. she is very beautiful girl. We have good properties and so we are not interest on dowry.  when my parents first see the girl and tell about her  with me I saw very happy in my parents face.

My father and mother told to me you are so lucky and I got my daughter back in form of daugter in law. I am also so happy amd married girl. I stayed with my parents. we are so happy first 6 months. She got pregnent . we are so happy and we treated her like a prince. In 4th month she went to her native place and suddenly one day they called she got abortion. we felt very bad but we understand god didn't give permission.

After coming from her native place she changed lot. she always compared with her brother-in-law. . I told her they have there own stlye to treat I have my own style to treat. there sisters called and told  her my husband cooked this one and that one.After that call my wife told to me my brother-in-law  look his wfie very good not like you. so discussion was happened with me and she started hunger strike.I told sorry and ask her to take food.After long time I please her she take the food. This habbit continue for long time. when she didn't take food I have to tell sorry and pleased for long time.Now she started complaint about mother. your mother listening from doors and  you listen your mother words..

After 1 year she was pregnent. Due to some office work i have to go chennai. she told i will not stay here i will come with you. i told her you are pregent it is not good to travel. so she want to go her another sister place who stay in same city. So I dropped her in her sister place. I went to chennai.In this week my sister also pregenent and came to my home for delivery. After  1week i came from chennai i went to her sister place and bring my wife back. Next day is my sister function in my house.she also participate in the function and we are happy. her sister also came to the function.That night she started complaint about my sister. I surprised she was good in morning and suddenly she started complaint about my sister who came for delivery. She started crying that I give improtance to my sister and mother not her. This time i didn't please her and went to the sleep.Next day morning she didn't take breakfast. My mother asked her to take breakfast she started scholiding. Due to this my brother-in-law take my sister to her place. Still my wife not taking any food. everyone try to please her but she is not taking food. we all are worry because she is pregent.If you have any problem we discuss later because of daughter you can take food.

 My father got angry and told her" If you dont take here I will call your parents they will take you and there you can take food".She got angry and started two demands

1)She want 10laks to deposite for her security

2)my parents should leave house.

If you fulfill demands i will take food.

Even neighbours and relatives come and please her but she didn't take food.Finally we called her parents.There father told "Now take the food we will discuss later" but she is not agree. After 3 days.she agreed that we can put seperate family and deposite the money later.In this 3 days she didn't take the food only water. Immediatly i take her to hospital.By god grace nothing happened to my wife and kid.After 4 days she dischared from hospital and we take seperate house in the same city. After few months she went to her native place for delivery.I look another job and moved to another city because I felt guilty  it is not good staying seperate from same city.

I went to her native place at the time of delivery and stayed in hospital for 1 week. They didn't informed my parents that she delevired a baby girl. even my parents and relatives came to hospital and saw my kid. She or her parents didn't talk with my parents.I got angry and controlled my self. i told her Please come to my parents place we can stay for 1day and we can go to our place(that is our custom).At that time she agreed so I came to my place.

Even 11 th day also they didn't called me or my parents. Even name cermony also they didn't informed me also they put the baby name there own.It happened 1 year. My mother want to see my kid so she went to her native place and see the kid. My mother asked my wife to come with her. She didn't agree.My parents and friends suggest me . Go and try to convience her and bring wife and kid. what ever she told controll your self dont get angry bring your wife and kid. she will get settled once the kid will grow.

We went there and her father bring some local leaders and discussed. She started telling lot of thing..

I shut my mouth because I want my kid and wife. With god grace my wife and kid came with me .i was very happy.

1 month she was good. I am enjoying with my kid. I bath my kid dress her. Lot of happiness came to me.

As a father every day I change the dipher, bath, dress her and play with my kid. I feel it is fun. Evening I came at 6 clcok

take my kid out.Its all fun.I got lot of energy when I was my kid.

After that again we got discussion. It look like small things for me but I dont know how she is feeling.

some examples: When we go for market I need to take kid and bag and she will bargain with sellers. Ifell little tired I asked her with little bit loud voice finish fast we have go home. She felt insult that i scholed her in the market. again she stopped take food.I pleased her then she take food.at that time she will not put food to my kid. I will put food to my kid.

next example I told one day evening that I will come at 5:30 but due to some reason I went home at 6:oclcok. she got angry why should i tell 5:30 I should tell 6:oclcok. like all silly reasons.

She was very good some times . I feel  "no one will love like that but some times when she get upset she feel that I am villian in her life and treated like that" Still I didn't understand what in her mind.

Every month she want to go her native place which is 800kms from my place. if i didn't take her she get angry on me.

So every month I dropped her she stay there so I went after 10 days and bring her back. she take Rs 15000 and so on.

If I ask what happened 15k she again get angry so i stopped to ask her

My kid birthday came So first birth day we missed so we want celebrate in my parents house. She went to her native. I went there and bring my wife and kid my parent place. We celebrated grandly. Her parents and relatives also attend the function.  I would like to notice one thing. She didn't take Non veg and cook non veg. So I stopped take non veg in home because she dont like. If I want to eat i will take outside. In birthday she asked there should not be cake because cake have egg. She want to bring Sweet insted of cake. I dont want argue with her. So for birthday Instead of cake i bring sweet look like cake and written as Happy birthday.

Evening we want to travel my place. My mother asked her to pack the food so we can eat in train. She didn't pack any food.

I kept quite and we bought food in train and came to my place. Next day evening we went to shopping complex.

At that time my bad I asked her why you didn't take the food in train. She started  saying badly about my mother. I got angry I told her your parents are like that.she got angry and started crying and stopped taking food. This time I didn't please her. two days went. Her father called and he is scholding me your doing harrasment with daughter i will look your end. Itried to convience him but he is not listening. I dont  know what my wife told to him.

The next day I went ot office, His relatives came to my place and took her to my offiie with bags and suddenly told  her grandmother is not feeling well. I called my father-in-law he also told like that. In office every one is watching so I asked her to go.She went with them > I called her so many times but she didn't pick the phone. i called her parents they are also not pick the phone. When she left she packed all her jewellery and let. She gave complaint in police station.

I am not sure why she is doing like that. She want to help her parents and sisters?She is not thinking about kid.

In complaint she mentioned that I tried to kill her and told her " I will kill you  and even police will not find your body"

I am demanding more money from her.

Recently I came to know her brother-in-laws are asking more money to my father-in-law. I suspect she want to sacrifice her life to her family. God knows what her in mind.

My personal feeling: Laws are created by great people after research but it should be reviewed by every year based on situations.

Laws should help to support marraige life but  not break the marraiges. Before apply law they should enquiry . Based on the truth they should take decisions.

Due to this laws  Now my family life is broken.

In every marraige  life upto 40years  there is s*xual relation ship bond in the marraige .In that time egos will play in the life. After 40 years couple will understand each other and they know how improtance is the life. There is spritual bond in the life . they want to sacrifice for each other.For example  If you see our old generation they also got lot of discussions in there younger age but in olden days they are not able to stay without each other.

Before Implement this law they  should give counsilling through experts or doctors but without this immediatly arrest  so marraige life will break.

Final words. Every person is not 100% perfect . There should be postive or negative. Society should help to make perfect in the life not break the life.

Rama,

I read and found that you sacrified lot; Dont compromise this time otherwise you will have to compromise the rest of life. Hire good family lawyer by reference. 30 Lakhs is not small amount to pay her. Let her proved allegations first, be calm and postive.

I agree to the pithy yet conclusive opinion by Advocate Davessar.

Thanks to ALL.

I have one more query.

When at the settlement time in police station.SI signed us in white paper and also my wife and her parents signed in white paper. SI told that he will write that settlement was happened. signed white papers are with SI

Will it impact us in the court?

Thanks

I am astonished that you signed on blank paper and gave to the Police. You are an educated person. You should know the hazards of giving a signed blank paper. Immediately ask the police officer to return the blank paper with your signature. In case he refuses you get a lawyer and send a notice to the Police saying that any settlement written on the blank paper will not be acceptable to you. You say that after the draft settlement is written, you and your lawyer have to study it, you need time for studying it and that you will sign only if you are satisfied and after your lawyer advises accordingly.

I wrote the above because that requires immediate action. Now let me come to your story. What are the educational qualifications of your parents and parents-in-law? From your account I have to conclude that your parents-in-law have got a better son-in-law in you than in their other three elder sons-in-law. In the interests of their own pet daughter, they should take all actions to retain you, if they are really intelligent. Do they want to sacrifice the life of their daughter and grand-child just for Rs.50/- or Rs.30/- lakhs.

You are also responsible for the present situation. I feel that you, your parents and even your sister were too soft and pliable which has whetted the appetite of your wife and her relatives. I feel that what your wife needs is good psychiatric care. She appears to have only a child’s psychology.  Her parents also appear to be short-sighted.

Here in this Forum also there are many who have suffered at the hands of their wives and in-laws. They will give only confrontationist advice. First, all should try to save your marriage.

I am further handicapped in advising you, because you have not mentioned which are the cities, the city where you work, the city where your parents live, the city where your wife and parents-in-law live and the cities where your sisters-in-law and husbands live. Laws in India vary from State to State.

You must find a good psychiatrist; apprise him of what all you have written here and more. Consult also a second psychiatrist. Get yourself educated. In the meantime take all legal precautions to see that your line of progress doesn’t get stalled.

DEAR FRIEND I AM ALSO GOING TO FACE THE SAME BY MY GREEDY WIFE

Yeah You are correct, I think your wife wants money to satisfy her family needs..

Fight back, when nothing work from wife side they will come to you then you can start your negotiation.

Now, face the hard times and get yourself prepared for the game! it will be easy as the time goes...

God Bless!

Nice said by Samuel... Don't worry Ram, God is with you .. For Making business  some type of girls are marying us.

Is Rama still watching? Or has he already left a month ago?