Need suggestions please

Please help me , I married to a girl and our marriage was inter caste marriage against my family wish , I have 4 year old son , I am working in call center and working in night shift , my wife is constantly complaining about various issues due to wish I cannot sleep , she is not preparing any meals and she fought with my parents so I bought a flat on loan , one day she left me and took my kid to stay with one of her relative house , after  lot of arguments we decided to separate and she ask for 50 lakh as one time settlement which I cannot afford , Then I was told my one her friends that she was already married once and divorced but he never told me about her past . One fine day she came back and started staying in our house while I was living with my parents , I need help to find about her  Divorce that took place in Bangalore . I am still paying all bills and she is happily staying in my flat and does not want me to come back . She is ready to give me divorce if I pay her 50 lakh as one time settlement which is not possible for me .

Please advice

1)how can I get her 1st marriage & then divorce details which took place at Bangalore     

2) Should I stop paying all bills , 

3) How can I get my house back thereby asking her to move out 

4) I fear for my life and went to police to lodge NC but police refused to file it 

5) Should I initiate divorce or wait for her to initiate it?

pls consider domestic violence act 2005,as well as good lawyer or you may contact for counselling to women commission ,all the best

Mrs. Diya, 

Judgement will pronounce after taking consent from both sides. Judge ask definitely your opinion. at that time you have to say clearly in the court. so that court will record your statements. Accordingly court will take decision. You have to tell clearly  to the court without fear. Judge will listen carefully about your problems. 

Its been over a year that I had suggested you few things about your case.

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/details.asp?quote=381384&mod_id=83802#reply

My question now is,

1. Will the judge ask for my opinion before giving a judgement on the case.

Yes.  You will have to tell judge your part of the story in detail during your cross examination.  Judge will record your entire statement para by para and you will have to sign on printout of the statement afterwards, before signing read the printout of your statement, and only then sign on it, if there are points missing what you have told, then inform the judge about the same and ask another date for re-cross examination.  This may not happen as judges are very cautious about recording your statement.

2. Is there any possibility that if i fail in my case, there will be a judgement like, I will have to go and live with him ?

No court in India can ask you to go and live with your husband.  Its finally your own wish and will and you will have to make known your mind during your cross examination as explained above.

3. Can i submit any last minute proofs like call records in front of the judge directly without getting any objection from his lawyer ?

Last minute proofs not accepted in court, they are only accepted if you inform before hand to court and also opposite party lawyer that you will be submitting such.  There should also be a mention of such evidence of recording in your initial WS [written statement].

4. We are from different caste backgrounds and they are taking the case in such a way that, its only coz of my parents that i have taken this decision whereas in reality it is not so. they have taken the messages which i have sent him in good times to prove that we were in good terms. But i really don want to go back with him. I feel like dying rather than going with him again. Please  help me with any possibilities that i can fight with .. I do not have much proofs on my side. 

Just say NO.

Hi Diya

Do you have any child ? Also have you claimed for maintenance/alimony? whats your husbands earning ?

If you are not confident about the merits/strength of the case then the best suggestion would be to go for mutual consent divorce. Also you said both want seperation so why should you contest. You may get misguided by lawyer (though not all do that) but you have to take your own decision

Regarding your questions

!) yes

2) no one can force you, however if you deny you can lose maintenance in case desertion is proved from your side. Are you working ?

3) dont think so

4) Depends upon the questions i have asked above  and merits of the case

All the Best

Hi All,

First of all, Thanks for your replies. Few additional information I have to include are,

1) I do not have a child

2) Currently the lawyer from the opposite side is cross questioning me. He was forcing me to answer for his questions as either yes/no. But the questions which he asked were tricky. 

For eg) Did he worked in so n so company. if it is yes/no, answer is 'yes', but he worked there for 20 days with 4k as salary. He s not letting me explain this. He either gets angry saying that i am not giving the proper answer or he is making fun of me in a sarcastic manner. I am afraid of opposing him for all the questions. Is there no way that my advocate can ask him to ask questions properly or let me explain properly ?

Because my advocate was sitting silently without interfering.

3) During proof submission, we submitted the messages which he sent abusing me and my parents. They didnt even agree it as a proof, whereas during cross questioning, his lawyer asked me showing the messages which i sent to him and i agreed and court took it. Those were the messages that i sent to him in good times when our relation was good. He s trying to prove that we were in good terms and I am not getting a chance to explain during cross examination because of that lawyer's rude behaviour.

So, what i wanted to confirm is that, whether I will get a chance to tell my stand to the Judge after the cross examination or what can happen ?

4) Also, an I do not want compensation and I have not asked for it. Even he didnt ask for any monetary benefits till now.Both of us are employed. So is there any way that he can ask for money (which is spent for marriage) or money for saying some other reason ?

Please suggest...

Thanks

i have married a girl. she lived with me only for 20 days .After that she went to her house.So many times i have asked her to come back to my house.But she didnot come. After delivering a female child she file the case 498a,dvc on me and my parents. what should i do?Pls give urs valuable reply

Originally posted by : diya
	Hi All, First of all, Thanks for your replies. Few additional information I have to include are, 1) I do not have a child 2) Currently the lawyer from the opposite side is cross questioning me. He was forcing me to answer for his questions as either yes/no. But the questions which he asked were tricky.  For eg) Did he worked in so n so company. if it is yes/no, answer is 'yes', but he worked there for 20 days with 4k as salary. He s not letting me explain this. He either gets angry saying that i am not giving the proper answer or he is making fun of me in a sarcastic manner. I am afraid of opposing him for all the questions. Is there no way that my advocate can ask him to ask questions properly or let me explain properly ? Because my advocate was sitting silently without interfering. 3) During proof submission, we submitted the messages which he sent abusing me and my parents. They didnt even agree it as a proof, whereas during cross questioning, his lawyer asked me showing the messages which i sent to him and i agreed and court took it. Those were the messages that i sent to him in good times when our relation was good. He s trying to prove that we were in good terms and I am not getting a chance to explain during cross examination because of that lawyer's rude behaviour. So, what i wanted to confirm is that, whether I will get a chance to tell my stand to the Judge after the cross examination or what can happen ? 4) Also, an I do not want compensation and I have not asked for it. Even he didnt ask for any monetary benefits till now.Both of us are employed. So is there any way that he can ask for money (which is spent for marriage) or money for saying some other reason ? Please suggest... Thanks

The opposite party lawyer is just doing his job and has nothing against you.  There is nothing objectionable in what opposite party lawyer has asked you in witness box.

You can tell judge directly that you want to tell your part of the story too in your own words in the box, you will of course be permitted and there you go, start telling it all.

@Diya,

There is a proper way to answer to his question.  Your advocate should have trained you into that way.  For Example:

Advocate's question: Did he work in so and so company? (Give me answer in yes or no, he implores)

Your answer:  Yes. (Then without giving a pause, you should say), I volunteered that he worked only 20 days there with Rs. four thousand salary.

(Voluntary statements explaining the question put to you will have to be recorded in the cross examination).

If you want to bring any further documents, messages etc. for that you have to move appropriate application for leading further evidence and if court accepts, you can bring them on record.

Cross examination is a way to get answers on the record to "frame" you later. It is a VERY IMPORTANT step in any litigation because your testimony can be used anytime in any future proceedings in any court. Therefore, it is important to pause before answering, forget any pressure from any advocate, frame your answer in your mind and then, and only then, should you open your mouth.  Just like advocates like to frame witnesses, witnesses can out-smart them by giving ambiguous answers or answers with voluntary supplements as suggested by an advocate above. Now, if the judge does not record the voluntary part, ask the Judge to record your objection that your complete answer was not recorded.  The Judge has a duty to record all objections during cross-examination. If he still does not record your objection, file a written application in the next hearing or in the same hearing asking the Judge to rectify the cross-examination and record your objections which you had raised during the cross-examination. You MUST raise the objection while the cross-examination is going on. You cannot do so later. 

Presuming that you are the first to go on the stand and you later realize that you have given some answers that you are now regretting, do not sweat. Prepare to cross-examine the opposite party on the same points and get answers that dilute the damage done in your own cross-examination.

The litigation process is straight forward and somewhere in this forum I have listed the steps involved. Judgement is given only after arguments are held and in your written arguments, all your "opinion" can be stated.

Judge can given any order, including that of restitution of conjugal rights meaning asking you to go and live with him if the Judge finds that your refusal is not justified.  But I do agree with the opinion above, that no Court can force you to live with someone you do not want to live with. Perhaps some advocate can resolve the conflict: What happens if a RCR application is granted and wife/husband refuse to abide by it? I

If you want to submit last-minute proofs, you have to file an application before the Judge issues an Order and explain why there was a delay in submitting the proofs. Then you should file an application to recall the witness so that the witness can be cross-examined on the newly submitted proofs to increase the value of the new evidence. It is possibly the only way to have them marked as exhibits on the record.

Finally, a word of advice that is not strictly legal: If you did have good times before, is it not possible for you to take a few steps backwards, pause for a few minutes and see if you can reconcile? Sometimes, taking a pause from litigation helps to clarify reality. Explore this possibility in all earnest. Filing a DV petition is a NO-NO. It will waste your time and money and his too. DV cases get you nothing more than what you can get in the current divorce litigation. Do not file false criminal cases either. If proven false, they can land you in a lot of trouble. If they file false criminal cases, the same applies to them, if the allegations are proven false. 

@ Diya,
in ur query u inform tht
" They have hired a lawyer who is damn good in criminal cases and I dont have much hope against them now."

like to knw wht mk thm to get hire a criminal lawyer in civil case ? or get advice ?


@ Samir N (2HelpU) :
 Finally, a word of advice that is not strictly legal: If you did have good times before, is it not possible for you to take a few steps backwards, pause for a few minutes and see if you can reconcile? Sometimes, taking a pause from litigation helps to clarify reality. Explore this possibility in all earnest. Filing a DV petition is a NO-NO. It will waste your time and money and his too. DV cases get you nothing more than what you can get in the current divorce litigation. Do not file false criminal cases either. If proven false, they can land you in a lot of trouble. If they file false criminal cases, the same applies to them, if the allegations are proven false.

appreciate ur last para though no one is in mood to hear. very few one take this seriously.

That lawyer is from their community and they have known him already. Even I don understand why they hired a criminal lawyer for this. Generally that family always looks for a source where they can get money and this lawyer is so expensive. I don whether he is giving any concession since they know him previously.

During the previous reply notices they have issued, they have told like, since we are from different caste background, my parents were not interested in this marriage and it is because of their advice, I left him. This is not true, But they are trying to prove this by those messages.

And they know very well that I will not go back to live with them and the allegations which i told about them are also true. Like he didnt have job, even when he got job, salary was very less.. I have not given any false allegations also. They are not coming for mutual consent also. With this situation, I do not understand, what is that they are planning. 

i) Are they trying to get some money from me

OR

ii) Are they believing that I will go back to him 

OR

iii) Are they thinking that they can force me to go there by hook or crook..

OR

iv) They just want to drag the process for some 2 or 3 years, so that I cannot settle in my life after this. But then, his dad was blackmailing me once in the past about marrying off his son second time if I am not obeying his rules. Still they are not trying to bring this to an end

Seriously I don't understand what is happening..

@ author:
totally agree with u
1] That lawyer is from their community and they have known him already. Even I don understand why they hired a criminal lawyer for this. Generally that family always looks for a source where they can get money and this lawyer is so expensive. I don whether he is giving any concession since they know him previously.

no one understand why one hire or even consult a criminal lawyer though services is available fr free unless circumstances demand.

everyone needs money. why they antgonise u. and as per ur posting, u hv major contribution in expenses.


2] Like he didnt have job, even when he got job, salary was very less..

mostly in love marriage, it is seen that boy earn less or does not earn at all and parent of girl r against.

3] They are not coming for mutual consent also. With this situation, I do not understand, what is that they are planning. 

i) Are they trying to get some money from me
OR
ii) Are they believing that I will go back to him
OR
iii) Are they thinking that they can force me to go there by hook or crook..
OR
iv) They just want to drag the process for some 2 or 3 years, so that I cannot settle in my life after this.


ur thinking is true bt r they pagal ? don't they realise tht by doing so, age of their son is also increased.
u mean to say tht they wnt to drag the case at the expense of their own son.

But then, his dad was blackmailing me once in the past about marrying off his son second time if I am not obeying his rules. Still they are not trying to bring this to an end.

u urself knw the desire of his parent to remarry him thn wht mks thm to drag the case. on the contrary ur chance r brighter to mk settlement @ ur figure and term.

.