New here ---- dv case .. plz help !!!

If you have somebody else in your life how can you live with or compatible/adjust with your wife?You were not faithful to your wife, this is your fault.No court will allow you to take advantage of your own fault.

If she were cruel to you you could go to court without getting involved with other lady.

@ranee..well said mam ..but I certainly feel its no use advising this person ..let him go for divorce on his so called 'cruelty grounds ' and face the music of law ..'vinashakale  viparit buddhi'...

sufferer22...  you better stay out of my post !!! told u already to not interfere till u knw the full story... there is always a ful angle to the entire story... .there are many things which you do not know and you wud nvr know.. i have more than 200 proofs of her cruelty... which made me involve in an affair and am asking for advices from the forum. i anyways wud do what i want !!!

unlike u, i do not have time to blame people and show your that you are a complete vella and try to get involved even where you are not required. From now on...do not interfere else you wud face the brunt.

sir, first issue a legal Notice describing the problems you had encountered over 8 years by you. need to await the reply when she replies. if she does not reply she admits , on that basis you can file your case sensibly. 

Again, your foul mouth can be a cruelty too to her that she may use against you and if she does naturally there is a case for divorce when she uses those foul mouth of yours.

Again your affair she may use as cruelty as a bigamous relation ship but it is no bigamy as you have not married that girl, but it is some kind of living in arrangement, yes it is a cruelty to her.

you can say your wife had not allowed you to have s*xual relations with her so many years, so that is a cruelty on you and that can allow you divorce proceedings, unless she agrees for your right to relations with her, so it will be a catch 22 situation,

similarly your slapping her as she made your mother to touch her feet may be an excusable wrong though it is a  cruelty to her as she did cruelty on your mother as also on you  by her mercurial; behavior, as her behavior is also a cruelty to you.. like that your notice need to proceed and thus crete catch 22 situation, as you are no great God to accept humiliation from wife as humiliation on you is also a cruelty .

 your sane notice may give you an advantage instead of saying false things.

if court grants her  some allowances then it cannot be in crores that you need to know. She has a right over your property as a legally wedded wife, as you delayed your divorce action so long, besides it seems her office lawyers seem to be guiding her and definitely she has an advantage.

Biological needs are common for both spouses, may be she is dating with some may be your doubt also is a point for your case.

nodoubt there will be rinsing of dirty linen, but cannot help.

you need to decide as to how you will go about and you need a very good legal help else you may lose the battle.

regards

Dear Dr. Bala,

Thanks a lot sir for ur revert.

I know i am in a catch 22 situation...and all seems very complicated. I have enough evidences for her cruelty but then still not sure how much will it help. I guess thats the same with everyone..

Also, the non s*xual relation with her is there since last 6 years and hence, as a normal human being..i fell in for a girl for more of emotional support. my affair is since 3 years now..  we have been sleeping in different rooms under same roof since 6 yrs now..and hence, nothing practically exists between us.

wud this help me...if i prove this in court !!

also, i know it takes time..but how many years wud it take practically for my case... just ur guess wud do !!!

AND request you to read my another post in the custody section and reply on that too.. wud really appreciate your help...

thanks so much!

Dear Querist,

As per your post I smell that you are desperately in need of divorce to marry your Girl freind.I agree with your feelings that a marriage is dead ,which is of 8 years in which last 6 years both spouses are sleeping in different rooms under the same roof.

It was her behaviour that made to get that slap,nothing wrong in that but over the dose you have to control your freakness.

You have stated that she is earning 40-42k per month then for what purpose you are feeding her ???

Let her take her own burden if she is so much arrogant.

As per my opinion following things you can do:

1. Live as usual you are living and never miss a chance to record the recent developments along with keeping safe the backlogs.

2. Never Guide her or fall prey for her,just shed all emotions now,behave as you are no more husband to her but don't use voilence,stop talking to her,you do your work.

3. There is no difference in getting divorce for such couple who is living 6 years in different room and didn't have s.e.x . You are already divorced my brother,the only thing is it has to be come on the papers.

4. Living with a unmarried girl will not make you any difference in your case,because to proove adultery she has to become Lady Goga.

5. A wise man will never give up his hard earned money to that lady who is allready earning,who is so arrogant and from whom the relation has been ended 6 years back.

6. In your case your GF is the prime Power house for you,just be sure that she will not backfires you when you are in the half of your cases.

7. If your GF is concrete in her thought that she will never leave you and will hold her hands till the climax then proceed without any threat...

8. File for divorce now as you have told 200 evidences you have just utilize them ahead with recent evidences.

9. If she say's that you are indulge in adultery then frankly say her "proove that" ........

10. Let her say all the cruelties which you have done to her..........but your only statement on this should be "If you have so much trouble with me then why you wanted to live with me? Iam having the problem with you that's why I have approached the family court for divorce as the marriage is already dead in this 6 years,what else you need.Iam already doing my responsibilities to my child ,even I have never let anything compromise for your lavish living,but it was your behaviour that made me to suffer.You have given me so much mental cruelity that I can live in Prison but not with you.

11. You just stick with you basics,but control the freakness in the court.

12.Live your healthy liv-in relationship life as there is no Lady Goga will stick to your room peeping from hole.

13. No court can make forcefully cohabbit with each other,so why you are burning your blood man,you don't have to pay her maintenance as she is well enough earning,just collect her income details and experience details.

14. Never go for MCD you will loose.....

15. Fight your contested divorce as she will get nothing but Big humiliation of not giving MCD with genuine amount,Just wait and watch.You have already having your GF and having all intimacy with her by knowing each other and trusting each other,only formality is left like mang me sindur for the sake of society.In coming time frame that also be done.Don't worry.Fight your case with patience and never worried about false and fake cases,Just invest on Best Criminal Lawyer who could fetch you AB at priority.Rest all goes in half dead tortoise speed.

For child custody it depends on the wish of your child as he has allready attained the age of 7 years,Court sees in whose custody the child can attain his maturity without any hiccups.

Be happy and Learn from your mistakes and never do in your life ahead.

Best wishes

Regards.

A sufferer...

dear sufferer...u are a saviour...!!

U again filled that confidence in me... last one year i had been trying for a MCD but they kept demanding more money. i cudnt have gone further more on their demands hence had to opt for the court route. I have faced the worse in last few years and now, dont know hwo the future years would be.

I am doing many things already which you have asked me to do.....and will try to follow more as advised.

my major worry is my child, which i really have to get at any cost and also... the time frame...of the case. As it might take years, i would be older and my gf, even if she waits.... we both wud be too old when we get married. I really am risking...this....

Also, just for my understanding.... has anyone got jailed/ fines after a dowry/dv case ? and if my adultery is proved, can the court deny me a divorce ?

plz revert....

Dear Bro,

To get something you have to invest something......Nothing comes as granted from Heaven.

All are Human Beings and are fighting for their needs by any means. You or me is not a different part of story,even the judge who gives judgement is also a human being.So,first of all stop regretting for the age which going fast forward. I don't believe that A love needs to get it's nomenclature.If you both are satisfied and still companion without any strains then why you both feels for any difficulties?

Marriage is not a destination my brother it's a stoppage made by the society.Think over it. ...

In your case if your current wife who is only social wife, is adamant not to give divorce untill or unless you won't pay her 1.5-2 crore Indian currencies she won't let you go free.

In the reverse scenario why don't you think that she also needs life? only getting 1.5-2 crore rupees will not be enough to get whole life without any companion.

You have to make a Note ------ When a Man needs a women for whole life then same goes with women also but in more desperately than a Man.

Reasoning: Women has forcefully been made as abla naari since the evolution of civilzation even though the current generation has reverted with reverse with the same,where women has moved ahead of man.But for society she still needs a man for whom she could get a name and affection,love etc.

Hence,if your age is running then in that ratio her age is even more in danger to get remarried or to get a liv-in partner ahead.Why don't you think so?

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Your child is no boundry for your freedom,he will remain your biological son till he doesn't attend his expiry date.

For custody his wish is counted,his look after is counted-------those who fullfilling both criteria will pick the child till his majority.

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For your GF :

If she is trustable and life time talk time gurantee and whose network will not fall,then you can marry her in temple and live as usual if she is ready for that until you don't get Divorce from your current adamant and arrogant wife.

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Divorce:

Filing divorce needs nothing but to proove you have to do your homework along with your lawyer.

Let the case to start first,don't waste a single day from here onward's.

and Iam sure your divorce proceeding will not reach to SC.Don't worry.

You will get divorce within couple of year when she will realize that you are damn adamant than her in not giving that 1.5-2 crore,then she will come for special stock clearance discount of more than 50-70% or above depends on how rigorously you fight you and her cases.

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No punishment for you in adultery as the women to whom you are indulge is unmarried so,no question of punishment until your GF not arise any cases on you.

brother you have to thank's to her that she is a capable women,where she is not entitled to get maintenance.You can even fight for her DV cases -Right to residence if she is getting HRA.

You are not a murderer that you would think each day that when I will be hanged.

Concentrate on hiring a extrememly experienced lawyer who had won record number of divorce cases.

Rest all depends on your will power and your thinking.

regards.

A sufferer..

Time and Tide wait for Nobody -----Believe in action rather than frustrating....Follow your brain by listening your heart...!!!!

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