Physical violence

As per the complaint given by you against him, if the police takes cognizance of the offences reportedly committed, necessary legal actions will be initiated by the police thus paving way for permanent separation between you both through divorce.  See what can be done next to save the marriage.

1. Where are you living in yours parent home or with your husband , why he is threatening you , had you ever before filed any police report against him , do you want to live with him or wants to give her divorce , had you ever tried to reconcile your differences by taking help of yours both side elders , had you filed any domestic violence case on him pl. Clearify . 2. keep police report copy and MLC copy with you ,in the court It will used as a proof of his cruelty upon you as well as in filing criminal case against him. 3. this incident was happened in the day light of public place, if possible at least be ready two witnesses which give evidence in favour of you about this incident and they are eye witness in the court if required.

1.I am living with my mother past 7 months.yes had filed police report 7 months back,for the torchure he ,his mother and sis were doing.Police did counselling and he agreed to take good care of me.but later refused to live with me.Relatives intervention happened, he was violent then also.Used vulgar words and attempeted to kill and beat.but i dont have evidence for that.People caught hold of him.Yes i want to live with him.I am not ready for divorce.Whatever he does,i am liable to tolerate.My intention was to stop his mother and sis from torchuring me along with others.

Pl. give complete facts when did your marriage solemnised , have you any kid , how far is this violence is going on, and on what reason for dowery or any ego or other , your sis , miL , fiL if others how and in which manner they torture you like by beating you ,means physical torture , by making taunting on you and your family , restrict you in doing job , study , talking with others outsiders etc or demanding or bringing less dowery , is your husband a alcoholic addict .

Few questions arise in my mind.

1.  Today if husband or his mother just raise their voice n speak to the wife/DIL, the DIL/wife will readily give complaint of domestic violence and you are stating that physical abuse has happened many a time and you still did give a complaint only later on.  What were you doing for such a long time?

2.  It takes two to tango.  If your husband is pysically abusive what was your hand in it?

3.  You could have moved out of that house and made seperate accomodation, you could have taken your husband into confidence and then asked him to make some other arrangement outside for you both to live.  Why did you not do that?

4.  If life was such a torturous thing with your husband and parent-inlaws, instead of going to police station, why did you not just apply for divorce?  Remember tolerating physical abuse is also a crime, Gandhiji said that!

Advice:  I dont think your husband would change in the given circumstances, police station, complaint, what next? 498a for dowry harrasment, your marriage is over my dear.  What you could do utmost is file for divorce and stop thinking that he is the only male left in the world whom you can lead a married life.  Divorce is best option and remarriage should be on the cards very soon.

Good luck.

Dear Helping hand,

You just cant generalise all cases like that.

1.I dont like to generalise with  todays world,i only localise my problem to myself.According to me ,raising voice is not considered as Domestic Violence.Even our parents,& relatives have raised their voice ,we have undergone it ,accepted it and its the concept of indian families,quite natural.But how much is raised,how much implications those words will have on others mental well being,social life,professional life,& mental health condition is what matters.Tolerance is what sustains a family life,but their is some limit for that.Even elastic will loose its elasticity after some point of time.

2.It doesnot always require a valid reason for an abuser to assault his wife.Since its male dominated society,its often digested than questioned.both husband and wife should workout towards making their marriage successfull.

3.very good advice,i should have done it.But dint do,because i never thought about separating mother and son.But may be that was not worst than police station.

4.I dint seek divorce due to conservative and traditional  culture.

So if divorce is the only option,then its as good as serving him on golden plates,an oppurtunity to get remarried after spoiling my life.And take the punishment for his torchure on my shoulder.Remarriage is not as easy as adviced,for a girl.

So you want him to get you married. Get a life. Atleast live life with some self respect.

You say he is an abuser and then you also say that you want to live with him. First decide what you want.

mr stalker,

keep your tongue clean please.You have got nothing to speak about my self respect..I am not begging for money ..

If you can give legal advice, about the conviction ,if his violence is prooved in court, you can reply here.

Originally posted by : get_strong
	Dear Helping hand, You just cant generalise all cases like that. 1.I dont like to generalise with  todays world,i only localise my problem to myself.According to me ,raising voice is not considered as Domestic Violence.Even our parents,& relatives have raised their voice ,we have undergone it ,accepted it and its the concept of indian families,quite natural.But how much is raised,how much implications those words will have on others mental well being,social life,professional life,& mental health condition is what matters.Tolerance is what sustains a family life,but their is some limit for that.Even elastic will loose its elasticity after some point of time. You got the problems you got the answers as well.  Why for you need suggestions lady?  Look, there are no examples set according to law which can prove DV.  The law as defined under DV act is very vague.  And such DV can only be proved via MEDICAL CERTIFICATE issued by a doctor from a government hospital.  Other allegations regarding to DV cannot be proved. 2.It doesnot always require a valid reason for an abuser to assault his wife.Since its male dominated society,its often digested than questioned.both husband and wife should workout towards making their marriage successfull. Not all girls think like you. 3.very good advice,i should have done it.But dint do,because i never thought about separating mother and son.But may be that was not worst than police station. 4.I dint seek divorce due to conservative and traditional  culture. So if divorce is the only option,then its as good as serving him on golden plates,an oppurtunity to get remarried after spoiling my life.And take the punishment for his torchure on my shoulder.Remarriage is not as easy as adviced,for a girl.

Either ways, not many options for you.

File 498a as they asked you dowry and harrassed you.  Trial will take place, your husband and his parents etc will be arrested and will come out on bail during trial period.  If proved that they asked dowry, they will be jailed for 7 years for sure.  If your allegations under 498a are not proved, be ready to be jailed as lying under oath is a criminal offence.

Same holds good for DV case.

You are right now in a confused state of mind.  Think what you want to do in life, you have already messed up your life by filing complaint, now just have a wait n watch approach as to how things will proceed.

Just remember, your ideologies etc I dont have any right to comment on them, but it takes two to tango, to lead a happy married life, only one person cannot be held responsible, its a sharing approach.  If your husband does not want you and still keeps abusing you physically and verbally it is better to leave him and apply for divorce.

and there is a lot of difference between abusing physically and torture.  If you are beaten to pulp and then made to give a BJ and forced to have s*x after all that, then it can be termed as torture.  But as you say, how much raised voice is called as DV or Torture nothing is defined yet!

I don't wish that you go to the same home where your husband and mil/sil lives and day and night you get exclusive treatment with Laat and juta with bhadi bhadi gaaliyan and so many tortures that you love to still live with that demons.

 

Dear lady,

Your life is little bit gud now but the day when you will join your husband your life will be completely over. And if your hobby is to tolerate tortures and cruelty then willingly and happily live with them if it is not over then go and live with IM,Al-quida or many more terroist group.

Common lady,.....! don't fool yourself, life is so short to compromise happiness.

Think twice and act thrice to over this relationship as this marriage is dead and even No court or any panchayati or any elderly talks can make anybody to love anybody. So,don't become a mere dead structure rather getting another life.

 

God bless you.

".I dint seek divorce due to conservative and traditional culture. traditional culture." If you are really a conservative girl following traditional values why did you enter a police station & file complaint against your husband? Did you try to resolve your differences through mediation via elders or mutual discussion or professional counselling? If yes what was the outcome of it? The moment you registered a police complaint against your husband all trust n love is irretrievably broken. So no use crying over spoilt milk. All that remains now is to reap what you've sown. Many girls like you think a husband can be brought into his senses by lodging a police complaint. Alas, wake up ladies - time to get out of your dream world!