Pl help me getting a divorce

hi Debashish, i agree that i used a wrong word "blackmailing" for my parents where i really didnt mean it literally....i really love them a lot & wouldnt put them under a sorry situation...i did what i did as i never wanted to lose my parents at any cost.....we were engaged by the time i realised she is not the one & calling off the wedding would have had a negative impact on their mental & physical health..still i went ahead & told her about my disinterest in her assuming she may convince her own parents to say no to me & back out...but she didnt.. she said lets get married for our parrents happiness....here i would like to clarify once again that i m not blaming anyone else but myself for this state of my life....one more thing, i could have said no to her on the 1st day of my meeting itself if i wanted to marry a heroine type of girl....somehow i am unable to accept her...

hi Venkataramani.....sometimes in life "adjustments, give and take, sacrifices and patience" dont work out...in this case i have done that for 3 long years....i want her to move on i know which is difficult but there is no other way out...we would be spoiling our lives staying like this forever... 

do u think that a wife is nothing more than a toy ?

play if u like - throw away if u dislike !

 

actually the author needs a doctor & not legal adviser !

Mr Amit....you have v simply put it across in 2 lines without even going thru my statements properly.....if she was a toy to me & not a human being i would have initiated my seperation long back & would not have waited for 3 years...let me tell you one more thing....i m not one of those people who misbehave with their wives.....i still respect her & her family.....

ashokji ,if you still think that you cannot go together then i m sorry ,no one can give you a solution.going to court for divorce only aggarvates your problems.

you are simply a cruel man.Forget divorce and try to move ahead with her .

i think both the boy and gal are to be blamed here.we r blaming the boy entirely,which i agree with.but y we forgot to point out at the gal who was told before marriage only that he doesnt want to marry her.yet she forced him and is ruining his and her own life now.

 

i think u may go fot marriae annulment because this marriage is under prs. and is not consummated also.

 

but i doubt if u can file for it after 3 yrs.

IMHO, You should start adjusting with her. Don't act an immature person after marriage. The repurcussions can be really bad for u and ur family if she opens her mouth. You should have woken up before marriage not afterwards.

Law in India is totally in favour of wife. She doesn't need evidence to scr*w you and ur family royally for next 10years. One single false police complaint in madurai will put u behind bars and make u run around courts for the next 10yrs.

Plz understand and don't aggrevate the environment.

Hello Mr. Ashok, Give some room for the element of love in life. When she is still willing to live with you; coping with your adament likings and dislikings, and she has won her inlaws support, she thinks of her n ur family's reputations, she is suffering inside with a null relation with you but not disclosing anywhere else... I feel u will never get a better gal than her for you. You change yourself first. Change your ways of thinking. Count positives in her and just admire them. At this stage if u say u can't just love her its nonetheless your inability but never her any fault. Many experts have really given very valid comments. Better get a counselling to understand the life and wife:) Correct your life and start living.

Dear Ashok,

Marriage is about adjustments and feelings. It is not like the TV serials shown around. I assume that you are driven to this by the likes in TV shows where they show gilrs beautifula dn always willing to have fun around. In you dialogue you have never complained about the household maintenance that she is doing. You have also mentioned that she was ready for consumating.  Please remeber even the great man Mr. Bill Gates once said - "life is not as in reel. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs". Moreovedr life is not yet over - like you have yourself said - you thought of giving it a chance. Have you ever tried talking toy our wife about the life you wanted. Have you ever asked her what kind of husband she wants - have you done a comparison in loneliness without any influence and thought for yourself which of the types would be better - you becoming the husband she wants or she becoming wife you wanted. whioch would aid in giving light and happinees to the family. Boss - asume you are being prone either by TV or there is someone else who is spoiling your life by putting in your minds these thoughts. Every man and woman you see who are husband and wife are not ones who are like proton and neutron who get atrracted to each other in proximity. There is a separate aspect - mental liking which one has to develop. Infact the bext is u see a counsellor personally for yourself - express your feel;ings to him and ask him to speak to your wife as well and then speak to both of you. But remeber please seek the advice of a professional cousellor only. The "wavelength matching" is easily mentioned in words but it should resutl in actions in life - have you been able to be to her wavelength at any time - pls think about it for once and see for yourself. I am sure there would definitely be away out. Boss both are sdtill young and have a long way to go. Intimacy is what will bring you both close. Initially it need not be physical bu9t have you tried to understand her. E.g. you may like pizzas and burgers - but she may like dosa and idlis - you should respect ehr community from where she grew up and came. you may like beer much becuase of bangalore - but madurai is restricted in all those and it would take some time for her to come out of that restriction. how many times have you taken her out on MG road hand in hand with her - please friend - please dont get despair - life is not only wants - it is also gives. Think what you have given her that she likes and even after that there is understanding problem then my suggestion is first go to a marriage counsellor first and then approach for this divorce method.

Unless you take a step forward how can you expect the wife will take a step forward.

Dear friend - i am not pointing fingers at you - i have been the same turmoil  except the change in my l;ife is i like idlis and dosas and my wife like pizzas and burgers. I know what pain you are undergoing. I am only pleading not to spolit family - its not only your family (yourself, wife and maybe your kids) but also two other families i.e. her parents and your parents.

Also you must be gifted that she is matured enough to still keep the problem to herself and not show it to her parents. respect that maturity and thank god for a matured and patient wife.

Remember life is a bed of roses. But every rose has atleast one thorn which you must weed out before throwing roses on the bed.

moreover, you must be gifted where ther eis less interference from girls parents. Have you thought about the gift you are having. what is the gaurantee that you will have a better life with a girl who is from city trnd liek you wanted. if she if flamboyant what will you do - copmplain then again that her wavelength does not match yours and again do the steps here u r contemplating. if your in-laws were to be interfereing type what would you do - again cry -

boss be happy with what you have in hand - a bird in hand is worth two in bush

stop cribbing and learn how to make her understand and bring her to your way if you feel that your way of life is better.

 

stop thinking about divorce and start thinking about where to go for a holiday and enjoy honeymoon - once you both become intimate and understand each otehr - i am sure you will come back to the forum and thank all the experts here for saving your life.

Give it another chance friend.

Dear All, I had written this just out of my mind seeing the plight of this man and thinking about his family - if i am wrong in anyone perspective please excude me. I dont mean to hurt the feelings of any one.

 

Regards

you are toooo depressed...

you need to see a psychiatrist immediately...next step would be marriage counselling...

please come back only after this...any advice might be wrong advice for you until then...

best of luck!

once you have married her  you have  accepted her ! the court can grant you  divorce   only on legal grounds but  not otherwise

 

to be direct file a case under section 11 and 12 of Hindu Marriage Act i.e., Annulment of Marriage as you both have not yet consumated and adding to your pleas also file petiton under section 13 (1) of H. M Act i.e., for mental cruelty.......

@Rajesh and all other advocates who misguide peopl and provoke them to file all sorts of fake case with fake allegation with absolutely no respect for justice....

how can he file for divorce under cruelty...his wife has never been cruel to him..

@Ashok

You are so human to understand your sister-in-law's marriage. Similarly understand the state of your wife if you divorce her. Think about her social status if you divorce. She looks to be traditional and loves you so much.

As per science, "IF YOU CAN'T BREAK, JOIN THEM". As a last option to make every one happy, convince your wife to accept for your second marriage with your dream girl who matches your wavelength. I feel your wife might accept but you will never get the one you want. In the process you will love your wife.