G.SAM.KUMAR (SERVICE ) 16 April 2011

plz suggest

Hi, “ I got married to my wife as per special marriage act in kolkata, I am Hindu from Bangalore , she is Christian from kolkata, later I married her as per Hindu customs in temple, we have a 4 year boy , at present both my wife and son staying with my mother in –laws house, after her delivery she started staying with her mothers house, never wanted to come to south, so after three and half years I moved to kolkata and stayed for three months in my mother in-laws house with my wife and son, both of us are working couple, but my earning used to go to all her family members expenses, My mother in- law is brain washing her since our marriage and interfering in family life. I believe because of her mother, my wife lost her first husband by divorce, she never told me this thing before I marry her. now also she is non- co-operative like not wearing mangalysutra, bindiya, not listing to my word, coming late from office, used to call my son in Christian name, where has I have made my sons birth certificate as per Hindu name and made joined him in pre nursery school as per legal documents with my expenses, Due to non- co-operation from my in-laws and wife, we both had small misunderstanding and used to fight, eventually we fought, now I started staying in my office in kolkata, All documents are with me, including marriage certificate, marriage photos as per Hindu customs done at temple, my sons birth and school admission certificate I wish is that , I would like my wife and my son to be with me in my rented house either here in kolkata or in Bangalore and non of her family members should not interfere, brain wash her and my son in our married life Dear all plz suggest what can I do now, can I make a separate rented house in kolkata for our small family? After that can I move my case to family court asking her to stay with me with my son? Listen to my word? Or can I apply for divorce? What court says in case of second divorce to my wife in her life? What to move my case in court, in case my wife is not willing to stay with me? Can I ask for custodial rights of my son? Because he is the only vamshavrudharka of my entire Hindu family? Please suggest …………..

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V. VASUDEVAN (LEGAL COUNSEL) 16 April 2011

Dear Sampath,

Life partners needs complete mutual trust and affection and especially when it involves inter-caste or inter-religion marriage. I have carefully gone through your problems and would suggest that take a conscious call what your inner-self says. If you still love your wife and childer - love is some thing unconditional and cannot be bounded by limitations of faith or religion. The religion/faith is something deep routed from birth and it would be difficult for either part to shed it like a skin, just because they marry a person of another religion/faith.

In the globalised era, the religion by birth/faith is more a tag than hence there is no point either party compelling the other party to follow the other religion, by a contract of marriage. Please have a open heart and talk it through a common family/friends for a mutua reunion. There could several reasons for the woman's family to bind her post marriage, including economic dependance or insecurity. Hence sit for a open discussions and come to a common understanding, including economic support to her family, if needed. Things could change. Nothing wrong in making a long and arduous effort, rather than breaking a marriage - the children are more to be affected and sandwiched between your fight, for no fault of them.

Vasudevan