ratuldas 24 August 2015

Regarding Notice I received from Family Counselling(POLICE))

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I was living in Bangalore, and did registry marriage in BangaloreMarch, 2012). After approximately one and half year of registry marrige we had social marriage in my home town Haldia(December, 2013), West Bengal. But after one year(August, 2014) of my social marriage, due to certain problem with my wife, we both came back in my home town and we both left the job in Bangalore.

But my wife keeps on forcing me to return in Bangalore, because she doesn't like my family and also she don't want me to keep any close relation with my family. She went to the local police station in my hometown three times(2 times in December 2014, one time on July 2015), and there she did the same demand, so that police can force me to leave my home town and live with her in Bangalore. But local police couldn't force me to do so. So they advised her to file a 498a case and other related like attempt to murder case against me & my family. But she didn't file any case and went in his home town(Assam), then she returned in Bangalore and did some job there, then she came back in Kolkata for & worked here and she called me to pay her maintanence of Rs. 10000/PM or else this time she will make case against me and my family that we wanted to kill her. So I made a police dairy against her at my local police station(June,2015), in my hometown(Haldia, West Bengal). This time she visited again at the police station in my home town with her same old demand but she didn't file any case against us.

Finally today(24/08/2015) I have received a Notice from the 'PARIHAR, Family Counselling Centre(POLICE)', Bangalore. It states that I have to visit in their office on 19th September, 2015 to cause an enquiry for the complaint against me, given by my wife.

So I just wanted to know-

Is it compulsory to visit in their office as per the notice? or I can skip because last time we stayed togethr is in my home town, not in Bangalore. And also the matter is in the hand of Local Police station because I already filed a dairy at local Police station in my home town.

Please advise all the option I have now and help me to take the correct decision.

Thank You

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6 Replies

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT) 24 August 2015

What do U mean by I have already filed a dairy in my home town PS? When u have received a notice from the family counselling center(Police),better attend it,instead of inviting more problems.There could be some solution arrived for UR marital life.

Not A Wussy 25 August 2015

Buddy, just get ready for some action. Be prepared, may be she's setting you up to pay monthly maintenance that she couldn't do it in your home town.

If you're currently residing in Bangalore, then you very well oblige to their notice. Here's how it may go. As pariah is a NGO they will try to negotiate and get the matter sorted out amicably, hence there's no harm going there.

a) If the demands are high: She can slap a maintenance case in B'lore and you're stuck there. (https://www.saveindianfamily.org/press-release-mens-rights-group-strongly-objects-move-to-make-dowry-law-compoundable-demands-bailability/)

Guess what, while the maintenance case is going on (for years) her lawyer will file for interim maintenance. Which means you have to pay her maintenance while she's fighting against you. This may not be true if she's earning. There has been recent judgements when a petitioner was denied maintenance due to the fact that she was working.

Update: Here's that link. https://menrightsindia.net/maintenance-crpc-125-judgments

Are you in talking terms with her? You should take your wife on a good dinner date, flowers etc. etc. in such a way that you (men in general) demonstrate a class and she will definitely think if she's smart enough to loose a Hero like you. If you somehow set her mind that you're a prized possession, she ain't going leave you. You have to build up the attraction.

This is a public forum so, I can't go further but I think she needs some special attention from you. She may feel lonely when you're with your family.

We men say my way or the highway and miss the end game. I believe that communication at a deeper level is important. Be her prized possession.

pleasant 25 August 2015

attn. to @ Not a Wussy.
appreciate your practical view. bt hope it may applies vice a versa if m not wrong.

prabhakar advocate (advocate) 25 August 2015

I absolutely agree with "Not A Wussy" for his practical hints to sort out the problem and live a life of peace. Follow it if you can. Next, I add that you say "parihar Family Counseling centre (Police)", if that is so, then the matter there is not so simple. It is not NGO. It has the power to mediate between the estranged couples on the basis of the complaint received by the party. But if the complaint contains the ingredients of S.498-A and if the parties do not reach to a amicable settlement, then this centre refer the complaint to concerned police station for registration of FIR under Section 498-A and other related sections, if advised so. So, appear there and try to resolve the matter amicably. Otherwise, the matter may snowball into a FIR and later on requires anticipatory/regular bail.

Prabhakar - Advocate

(M)9958670740.

Legal Aid panelist - Family Law - Central Delhi (Tis Hazari)

Not A Wussy 25 August 2015

@prabhakar advocate, thanks for the update. My first instinct when I read PARIHAR(Police) notice got me to thinking that counseling might be the tip of ice berg (I've experienced the pattern.) But, since she didn't apply for 498a earlier and reading in this forum about PARIHAR as a NGO, I put a full stop on thinking that route. I'm glad you brought it up. Thanks and appreciate your update.

@pleasant: This is the practical problem with we Indian men. I guess we are going through a transition phase from of being brought up "traditional and cultural" to getting the feel of modern women. The newer generation (kids in early 20's) very well understand their era women. What I find fascinating is their social interaction with women and their view understanding of women is completely on a different plane.

It's the legacy folks like me, who are neither there nor here. It's like "Dobhi ka Kutta, na ghar ka na ghat ka" and expect vice a versa deals. We just have to let it go and be that loafer, that hero and enjoy our life as a man again. Women will follow you.

You may wonder who the hell is this guys? I'm just on a mission.

amaresh 25 August 2015

1st you should attend the so called mediation. Impressing wife ,with flowers, dinners ....hmm its a old game. Now-a-days they are smarter than men. God can not fully read there mind, then how a man can read it. Try to get the photo copy of her complaint. i think you should prepare yourself for incoming Tornedo. All the best Dude