Should i file 498a or let him file divorce?

If you don't prove then please feel free to face the cases like perjury, defamation and social apathy. Even if you are lawyer is suggesting 498a, you are good that you're in the forum seeking options. To be honest, it is better to leave him and carry on with his life. If you have some proofs you apply for divorce u/s 13 1 a cruelty, post that mediation will take place amicably sit for talks and part ways peacefully.

Please don't file false cases for dowry, listen to your conscience. What you have been meted out with comes under cruelty. Hence file for divorce under cruelty and harrassment, if you want divorce. In the case you can mention the ornaments and gifts that you have left behind, judge will order and they have to give it back. so don't worry about all that.

Thank you for thinking.

But they specially my inlaws have tortured me.even locked in one room.search my room and my things.abused slap stoping to give aquagurds water they eat fish and all just give me sabji ..taunts me humilate my relatives everything.. his cousins  and there family saw some of these so they started protest.my point is despite all of these i wanted to continue.they destriyed my life why would i bother? And what type of evidence needed? My main anger is againat my inlaws they did it purposely and feeded my husband with wrong thoughts as they wanted me out of his life as i separated him from them.i have some letters some telephonic conversation and some of my relatives saw these...but others happened in the room na? How come i prove all of these? He is anyway filling divorce on the ground of mental cruelty.if he filed first then i  what will happen?

we can understand the agony and the mental harassment you have faced all this from your in laws

if you know whereabouts of your husband then madite with him or use any elder person to discuss with him and solve the problem before they file for divorce case as you have problem with your in laws not your husband

and if he is also convinced for divorce then try for mutual consent divorce which is very fast and if they file contested divorce on mental creuilty it may take many years to get divorce and even you have to suffer a lot and finally it is you who have to contest or not and to suffer

They are not botherd to mediate.my uncles aunties parents his relatives frnds even police have tried.they are adament and told eceryone will not sit.police told sit and discuss but he has no backbone.he do whatever his parents tell.even police told him its ur life.they are adament.for me my life is destroyed i will not let him marry and destroy another girls life.marriage is not a childs play..how much yrs take? Should i defend or file? I am ready to face verbal cross but worried about if cant prove do i have to face jail ? Am housewife my husband is a gazetted officer..he has lots of money thats why desparate.i just want to tell them money is nt everything.

I am touched by story and can very well relate to it. May be because I am also a woman and I am also going through a similar problem.

You must take advice from parents, relatives and lawyers. But in the end, please do only that what your heart and conscience tells you to do. It looks like you are keen to keep the marriage and relationship alive, inspite of the fact that your in-laws have tortured you . I would suggest you try your best to make this marriage work. 

But if you think it is not at all possible and your husband and in-laws are adamant, then file Restitution of Conjugal Rights (RCR) on him, before he files for divorce. Thats what I have done. Even if you win the RCR case, there is no guarantee that your husband will come back to you. But it atleast shows your good intentions to make your marriage work. 

I am not sure if this is the right suggestion to give you, but this is what I did after getting his threatening for divorce. Later on he filed for divorce. My lawyer also suggested 498a, but I will never do that. I am very keen to patch up relations and 498a will only lead to bitterness between me and my in-laws. Chances of a patch up will become zero then.

Consult some lawyer if RCR will be a good option for you too. As the case proceeds and later if he files for divorce, then you can decide if you want to go for 498a.

But lawyers fees are expensive and court battle is a never ending one. It might take years for the dispute to get sorted out. So think carefully before you take the plunge. If you have decided not to allow him to get married, then file the case. Avoid any accusations on him if you really want him back. 

Rest leave it to God. HE knows best and believe in one thing, that in the end TRUTH always wins. ALL THE BEST. Take care of your health and avoid getting into a depressive state.

I am touched by story and can very well relate to it. May be because I am also a woman and I am also going through a similar problem.

You must take advice from parents, relatives and lawyers. But in the end, please do only that what your heart and conscience tells you to do. It looks like you are keen to keep the marriage and relationship alive, inspite of the fact that your in-laws have tortured you . I would suggest you try your best to make this marriage work. 

But if you think it is not at all possible and your husband and in-laws are adamant, then file Restitution of Conjugal Rights (RCR) on him, before he files for divorce. Thats what I have done. Even if you win the RCR case, there is no guarantee that your husband will come back to you. But it atleast shows your good intentions to make your marriage work. 

I am not sure if this is the right suggestion to give you, but this is what I did after getting his threatening for divorce. Later on he filed for divorce. My lawyer also suggested 498a, but I will never do that. I am very keen to patch up relations and 498a will only lead to bitterness between me and my in-laws. Chances of a patch up will become zero then.

Consult some lawyer if RCR will be a good option for you too. As the case proceeds and later if he files for divorce, then you can decide if you want to go for 498a.

But lawyers fees are expensive and court battle is a never ending one. It might take years for the dispute to get sorted out. So think carefully before you take the plunge. If you have decided not to allow him to get married, then file the case. Avoid any accusations on him if you really want him back. 

Rest leave it to God. HE knows best and believe in one thing, that in the end TRUTH always wins. ALL THE BEST. Take care of your health and avoid getting into a depressive state.

I think rather than filing 498A,(which is only for dowry demand and tortures) go for Domestic Violence Act(not only against your husband, but also against your in-laws). U can seek maintenance, alternative accommodation, as well as return of your stridhan articles and also compensation.(even if your husband is absconding, your in-laws will be forced to pay up for all your expenses) And as far as your worry for evidences is concerned, all wrong-doers leave some evidence behind them. U try to find out those evidences, try to convince neighbours to help you,and also your parents. (U are living in your maternal home even after your marriage..that is enough proof of torture against you). And please think well before thinking of going back to your matrimonial home. After domestic violence case or even 498A, you cant go back. Also, if you are being tortured now, with time the tortures are going to increase only. so think well, consult some good lawyer, inform yourself with similar cases' history(u can get lots of similar cases in this website, and also from court websites) and act. All the best.

Marriage = name of the game is called ADJUSTMENT.

Some may adjust and call it love,

some may adjust and call it compromise.

But adjustment is what keeps the marriage going on.

Have advised you in more than one way over the past few months, yet I dont think you have decided as to what you want from life. So whatever decision you take, think and then decide and then stick to the decision which you have taken.

Dont give room for wavering thoughts, be firm in your mind.

i also dont want to continue this relationship after so much humiliation and have decided it.but the problem is i have not decided to file cases against them or wait for them to file..i am a housewife. my mother is a retired govt employye .and my inlaws are very rich and  they have hired a very famous lawyer (who was once upon a time a famous chief justice now retired and now run firm and deal in lacks).ithey asked for mutual divorce and they said only gifts which given by my parents not others will be returns but the ornaments which are still with my mil they are saying thats not with them and no compensesion for my entire life.now they destroying my life and the hard earned money by parents will be gone..i cant fight with them financially ..but they are so adament...