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Neeraj (Software Engineer)     14 April 2014

Torture by wife

I am a 30 yr old man who got married on 14th Feb. I stayed at home till 6th of March and then came back to delhi for my job. My wife is fighting with me daily for small small issues. she made my life miserable. Everyday she finds a new topic to fight. and at times threat me that she will take any bigger step. I tried hard to make her understand that these fights won't do anything good to our relation. Even after my parents intervention she has not changed. Now she start accusing me for invading her personal life by involving my parents. My life is next to hell now. My job is also getting affected by this all. But i am also worried if she will take any step(suicide attempt) to frame me how will i manage? can i file for divorce so early? If yes please let me know the process.



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 14 Replies

Lookingforpeace (Nothing)     14 April 2014

Dear Mr. Neeraj,

My name is Mohan from Bangalore. I was in the same situation 5 months back.

Assuming your marriage was held in 2014, you cant file divorce.

You can file for Judicial Seperation stating all the cruelities.

You may not be granted justice but you will invite the fight in grounds of justice. You can be safe.

First get peace of mind & I know how important is it.

You can give me a call.

Preparing for filing is important .

You can search threads with Keywords ESIS, Helpinghand.

They are best in LCI.

First you get motivated and fight with full force.

Regards,

Mohan

Lookingforpeace (Nothing)     14 April 2014

Don't worry too much on suicidal threats. Keep your calm. Record each and every call through phone.

Be a Man but dont fight with her. Man should always not fight to show manhood, keeping silence and keeping them confused about your moves is great weapon to you till you serve summons

Do your groundworks before inviting the fight for justice.

Spend some good time in LCI, you can find more brothers and friends like you whose matter is also worst.

Regards,

Mohan

Anand Bali Adv. (Advocate Solicitor & Consultant)     14 April 2014

Dear Mr Neeraj,

You have not disclosed your marriage year, but it seems that your marirage is not of one year old, in this situation you can not move any divorce petition as in that case one year has to be lapsed since your marriage and a petition only can be filed on the any one or more the clauses mentioned under Sec 13 of the Hindu marriage Act 1955 if you are a Hindu and if not under the Special marriage Act.

For protecting yourself from any mishappening from her side you can do one police complaint that off and on she is threatening you for committing Suicide, this will help you out against any mishappening from her side and later on in getting divorce from her in future after expiry of the at least one year of the marriage.

If you are in Delhi you can meet me in person for any legal help.my Phone number is 9582144748.

Office:  204-B Nandadevi Apartment, Plot-19, Sec-10 Dwarka, New Delhi-75, near Sec-11 metro Station.

Anand Bali, Adv.
(B.Com., M.A., LL.B., M.B.A.)
Delhi High Court & Other
District, Tribunal & Consumer Courts.
Civil, Criminal, Property, Recovery, Consumer,
Service & Family Dispute Matters.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     14 April 2014

I think you can follow the suggestions made by Mr.Mohan in this aspect. It is better to wait patiently and make the moves accordingly to achieve either of the thing.

Neeraj (Software Engineer)     29 April 2014

the torture has increased to unbearable level now. She used to mentally torture me. If at home she keeps on fighting. Even if i am sleeping she wakes me up and start fighting. If on the way to office then send me msgs to tortue me. If in office then send such messages that staying at office is too difficult. I tried to go back to home then she tried to jump off the moving car and threatened me of commiting suicide. My whole family is very disturbed. Even i m on the verge of comitting suicide as i can't see my family behind bars because of any of her action. Please advise me. Its very urgent.

Neeraj (Software Engineer)     29 April 2014

With this i would like to add that she is in touch with a person. She told me that that person used to love me and will do everything for me. After fighting with me she used to talk to that person. And while i asked her she refused to do that. She has a password on her phone and even after asking her for the password she never gave that to me. How as a husband i can tolerate this. i am living in a situation next to hell. 

Lookingforpeace (Nothing)     29 April 2014

Dear Neeraj,

See first of all dont get reacted. I was in same position.

Be calm...Be calm...Be calm...Dont react....Your mind should be used to tackle this issue not to react the issue.

Did you start recording the calls of your wife?

Keep recording boss...Get confidence first to prove your innocence first then her cruelty....

First make yourself safe...Then fight back with full power.

Dont react...Be calm over phone...Let her shout...Ask her about boy friend over phone...

Keep the recordings intact in original media car...Backup also should be done..

Anand Bali Adv. (Advocate Solicitor & Consultant)     29 April 2014

You are in Delhi you can meet me in person for any legal help (for the first time Free of Cost only to the genuine persons who are in fact in need)

.My Phone number is 9582144748.


(Guest)

Just be calm and tell police someone is bothering your wife. Police will ask her phone and then you may get her lover's phone. 

ANAMIKA VICHARE (LAWYER)     30 April 2014

As advised, wheneer you called her on mobile, try to record the conversation smartly...do not prolong the conversation, one minute, 2 minutes, etc  else it ntails lot of energy, time to bring it on record, you have  write the transcripttion in drama dialogues form....

Then send her a legal notice to mend her behvaiour....

Do not get scared...also send one written police complaint by Regd A.d. to the Police Station where yr wife resides abt her threats of committing suicide involing yr parenst

 

then when one year gets over file Divorce Ptn on the ground of cruelty..

Do not take chance  of  child in the meantime

 

 

Anamika Vichare

Purush Hakka Saurakshan Samitte

Advicate, High Court

 

Family Court Bandra

anamika_vichare@rediffmail.com

Neeraj (Software Engineer)     01 May 2014

Actually i have the SMS Conversations. Will SMS be counted as proof? and she left for her house my parents are accompnying her. She is asking for divorce. Should we need to tell this to her parents. I have a fear that she can try to commit suicide on telling her parents. Please advise ASAP.

Neeraj (Software Engineer)     06 August 2014

I am a 30 year old man. I am continuously harassed by my wife since my marriage in Feb 2014. 

 

I got married in Feb 2014 and my painful life starts the very day. She is torturing me since then. In March i came to delhi along with my wife and only the second day to my office she alleged me of having an affair with girls. I justified her that this is not the case and i assured her about this. But she keeps spying on me. like checking my call details. But this was just the start. 

 

She start fighting on small small issues everyday. Initially i try to bear all this thinking that it is just the adjustment problem. But when the water rises over my head. I told my parents about it. They came to my place and ask her to live in a better way. As soon as my parents left my place. She came back to her routine to torture me.

 

Then i asked my parents to intervene. And then i went my hometown and left her to my parents place. But she created havoc at my home and then my parents left her to her parents.

 

When i went home we had a meeting with her family and her mother accused all of my family of torturing her. and said my daughter is right and u all are wrong. But her father tried to close the issue. and assured us of improving her. After 1 and half month of her stay at her home she came back to my parents and live for almost a month with them. 

 

And then as all said that she is improved i brought her to delhi again on july 13th. But she is agin on the same track.

 

I m telling some of her tortures:

 

1. She always accuses me of having extramarital affair

 

2. She wants me to stop talking to every girl other than her. As i am married now and i don't need to talk to any girl. Whether it is work related.

 

3. She always asks me weird questions like how many girls in office? how many married? where they stay? what their husbands do? how many sits in your car? 

 

4. She always say against my family. tries to provoke me to stand against them.

 

5. She threatens me of doing suicide.

 

6. She breaks her mangalsutra and throw it over my face.

 

7. When i was bringing her to her home after she continuously bugging me in office. She tried to jump of the car.

 

8. She even tried to accuse my family for dowry.

 

9. she even said that she was having an affair with another guy and she slept with her. Though she said this to make me feel bad. But wrong is wrong.

 

10. Since my marriage she never let me had s*x with her. She always saying that she is not prepared yet. Its been 6 months since our marriage. and she is not prepared?

 

I have all the proof of her these accusations. Moreover i have one recording, of the time when we went to her home and discussed all her deeds. and her father accepted that we have not asked for any dowry. I have some messages and phone call recordings.

 

 

 

I am very tensed. Please suggest me that can i file for a divorce? and what are my chances of winning the case?

 

 

Anand Bali Adv. (Advocate Solicitor & Consultant)     06 August 2014

Dear Mr Neeraj,

It is correct that you can not file a case of Divorce within one year of the Marriage however, you are advised to file a police complaint of her ill behavior and specially her threatening that she will commit suicide  and also tried to jump out of the car, as these activities are crime against the husband and are well defined in the IPC. I hope it will be an eye opener for her.

In fact, because of the much abuse of woman protection laws Supreme Court has recently issued guidelines to the court that they should adopt a considerate behavior to implement them, and specially not in haste.

You can meet me personally to get advised more in this regard as you live in Delhi as I deal with these cases more often.

You also can apply for the restoration of the conjugal rights after marriage as the object of marriage is getting killed here and if there is any physical inability in her it can be a ground for declaring the marriage null and void in particular narrow circumstances.

rising up again (FFF)     06 August 2014

Law Wise - keep filing complaints with police, consult a good lawyer and keep calm. It would take much time before you would be able to and get divorce. 

 

Personal Wise - Do not take much tension. I know its not that easy as is said. But u need to be very strong. Remember - Barking dogs seldom bites. This is a well planned strategy of these cunning wives to overpower men and then keep their demands. You anyways, will have to agree to those demands as you already in so much pressure. First and foremost, get rid of this pressure...  ensure this does;nt affect ur health.  you need to strong mentally and physically to fight this battle. 

She will say all sorts of nuisance but you have to stay calm.  There are apps which can be downloaded on the smartphone to record calls. there are spycams/ spy devices which can be used to get more evidence against her. You may also install CCTV's at ur place, so that you always recorded and prove that what you were doing at a particular hour. Now one, spend even Rs. 100 via...credit card... it becomes a proof that you were in a particular area at that point of time. even is she does something to herself anywhere at any time...you may prove that you were not around her or were in a particular area. 

Record all talks, do not edit them, be soft over phone, let them shout or abuse, the maximum they do, the better it is for you, send ur parents to a relatives place for a long holiday, gather neighbours support, meet the local police officials personally and keep in good touch with them, keep ur friends in close contacts who may bail you out incase of any emergency situation, hire a gud lawyer you wud help u day or night in any adverse situation, try moving around in groups or with friends or colleagues, ur CCTV's at home should record ur each movement, 

 

Divorce - If you ready to take divorce, pressurize her to sit on table and offer you a deal to get a mutual divorce. Trust its the easiest and the best way to get rid of all ur problems. BUT dont show ur eagerness to get a divorce. if she finds that out she would, increase her demands. Put elders in between and negotiate hard. If she says Rs. 100, you say... Rs. 5................ Negotiate whatever best you can else try cracking a deal and sort this out. JUST ensure...you have a strong face on ur neck.....do nto show any emotions, else you will be screwed further.  

 

Best of luck !!

 

 


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