Wife does not willing to stay with husband

@Anamika,

you are educated, so why your husband needs to take your responsibility?

If you have proofs of his cruelty then you will get divorce.You are living separately , so why you need a divorce if your husband does not want?Generally husband want to remarry and wife unwilling of divorce.

The wife proposed husband about separation almost 3 months before and the same reply received from the husband. Perhaps husband was confident about the fact that a non-earning lady would not step outside of home after such a harsh and dominating response. But after that several things have already happened with the wife which has made her desparate enough to be vocal against her husband. Now she has been able to go to police station and lodge a General Diary against her husband. So apperently the scenario is changed a vast. Now the husband can see the adamance in his so far dominated wife's character and now he is thinking of being harrassed in society as the matter has already gone out of the walls. He is much scared now about the police and other legal interventions. Now he is scared of being dragged to court and compelled to give divorce and the alimony to the wife lifelong (although the wife is not interested in alimony). So now he is finding himself at a corner and trying to blackmail the wife emotionally and with a social stigma of course that this lady's husband committed/ tried to commit suicide due to the wife.

Now the query is if the husband complains to police about eloping his wife or having external illicit relationship will the police come to the rented accomodation and take the wife and her friend in their custody? or the same would be contested in court? and how it can be established that the wife has no illegal relationship with her friend who has given her nothing but a shelter?

Regards,

Suvajit

Dear,

      hi, i am amitsuthar from mehsana guarat  and i am working in goverment  job as class 2 officer in pwd department.my merriage arrange on 13th feb 2012.It means about one and half years.After merriage My wife is stay at my home  around just only 10 to 15 days.Before my merriage She does not study last two yeara and she seeting idel at her home two years before merriage.she does not want to live with me and my family at my village so she paln with her family and start B.ED.Because she does not want to live in village and her family mostly  her mother help her to do the things.she teach her wrongly ways and try to destroy my life.

           After some days of this incident my parents and my family members goes at her home for solve this problem.But her mother abuse word my parents and my family member.Now my wife does not want  to live with me my family and she also she does not give divorce m.e she and her family distrub me and my family mently torture.and i do not know what i am do.so please suggest to me.

Originally posted by : amitsuthar
	Dear,       hi, i am amitsuthar from mehsana guarat  and i am working in goverment  job as class 2 officer in pwd department.my merriage arrange on 13th feb 2012.It means about one and half years.After merriage My wife is stay at my home  around just only 10 to 15 days.Before my merriage She does not study last two yeara and she seeting idel at her home two years before merriage.she does not want to live with me and my family at my village so she paln with her family and start B.ED.Because she does not want to live in village and her family mostly  her mother help her to do the things.she teach her wrongly ways and try to destroy my life.            After some days of this incident my parents and my family members goes at her home for solve this problem.But her mother abuse word my parents and my family member.Now my wife does not want  to live with me my family and she also she does not give divorce m.e she and her family distrub me and my family mently torture.and i do not know what i am do.so please suggest to me.

Open  separate thread for your query.

The lady with two kids is really unfortunate. She has a very clever husband who tortures her inside the four walls of the house and pretends to be a nice man to the outside world.

The law cannot punish such men. At most the wife can file false case of dowry harassment and domestic violence against her husband and get him arrested. But if the husband is really daring and does fear 498A then he will happily surrender himself and spend couple of days in police custody before getting bail.

Since the smart husband knows that wife cannot prove anything in court, he will eventually get all cases quashed against him using help of a equally smart criminal lawyer.

Once the husband is acquitted, he will file counter cases against his wife and all those who supported her including the police officers who had tortured him when he was in their custody . The wife may have to pay a very high price for defending herself considering that she is economically weak. Even her children may testify against her for having their loving father arrested. Finally, the woman will end up in jail or mental asylum or might even commit suicide.

If she really does not want to have such a fate, then my advice to her would be to apply her own mind and not get misguided people with vested interests.

Firstly, she must forget about divorce and staying separately. Divorce does not exist in Hindu culture. If her husband decides to teach her a lesson, he will adamantly refuse to divorce her. Without valid grounds the wife cannot seek divorce from husband and no court will grant her a divorce.

She must understand that if her husband loves her children then he must be a good man. Probably one of her actions has hurt him so much that he detests her now. Her male tiger's ego is hurt and he is only reacting. She must talk to him, find out the reason why he is upset with her and apologize  for her mistakes. A bit of ego massaging and coaxing will eventually lead the husband to forgive her. Once he is calm and relaxed, the husband may also apologize for abusing her. And the children can finally paint a picture of a happy family forever.

A saying goes like this. "God is good. God loves us. God gives us everything. But God has His own way of punishing us for our sins. But when we apologize to God, He forgives us and starts loving us again."

Now that woman should understand that  "Husband is God".

And for all those who do not agree with me, please understand that families need to be united at all costs. Especially as lawyers, it is our moral duty to give correct advice to people and try to save marriages. And this case, it is obvious that the man is good. The wife is being unreasonable and selfish. Some woman do not have a mind of their own and get easily misguided by third parties especially lawyers. Please do not support a wrong cause.

@Anamika....from your descripttion, you are a software engineer. Please apply your mind. Think.

You had a love marriage. Why has your man changed? Please understand that men are weak. All tigers are weak. They are only physically strong but emotionally weak. He is going through a low phase in life. Just support him emotionally. Motivate him, appreciate him. Gently massage his male ego. Coax him a bit. Indulge in some naughty s*x. Trust me, he is not a bad guy. He just needs some moral support. He'll love you and treat you like a queen throughout his life.

And for heaven's sake do not think of divorce. Nobody in this world has ever been happy after a divorce. They just pretend to be. If your hands get dirty, you need to keep washing it. You can't cut your hands off because they are dirty. Similarly, you cannot give up on your husband for any reason. Just shower your love on him even if he abuses/disrespects you. Eventually, he will realize his folly and will apologize back to you. And that day will turn out to be the happiest day of your life and you'll thank this 71 year old lawyer for giving you the right advice.

Finally, an old jewish saying which roughly translates in English as below. 


"I saw a dog charging towards me and prepared myself mentally to kill it. But when it came near and started to lick my feat, I felt like giving away my life for it."
 

Woman are stronger than men. Hence I always advocate women to compromise and willfully submit themselves to satisfy their male tiger's ego. This saves marriages. But if woman has her own ego, then nobody can save their marriage. A male tiger is foolish. It will chose to die but will not lose a battle. But history has proved time and again that battles never benefited anybody. Even those who won and defeated their enemies did not live peaceful lives. So, women please take control of your husbands and your lives. 
All the best.

 

anamika  please dont be fear about him file a case against the domestic violence and move out from there with your parents and file a police compliant against him.......

if you are not do it......

please call me 

9929166681....

as I complained to national women commision for that so you will receive immidiate help....

or you can contact your nearest mahila help line police... if your living in metro citis....

regards,

avadhesh 

Originally posted by : Avadhesh Paliwal
	anamika  please dont be fear about him file a case against the domestic violence and move out from there with your parents and file a police compliant against him....... if you are not do it...... please call me  9929166681.... as I complained to national women commision for that so you will receive immidiate help.... or you can contact your nearest mahila help line police... if your living in metro citis.... regards, avadhesh

ROTFL 

you can convey to the party to file a private complaint with the magistrate . 

@ Paliwal why a police complaint  wont the law take its course in the trail ??

and why call you up are you a judge to decide the case