Wife's family is harraseing me and my family

Dont make the mistake of asking her to give anything in writing such as leave her family for entire life etc.  It will be like nailing your own coffin, you should take her into confidence.

Talk to her directly.

Dont let other's interfere.

Make a seperate place to live, a seperate house.

Convince her.

Start afresh.

Demanding your wife to leave their parents for whole life is mean mentality. Thats not a right thing on your part.

Press RCR.

@ Ranee , i know you are very respectful & senior member of this club, but do not made the statement on line/point basis.498a or 10 lacs, is it not seem funny to you. So we always expect unbiased solution/advices from your side as you usually provides.

@Sandeep, pls talk to you wife & if posible shift with her in separate place. I think it is the best effort to keep your family & her family out of your personal issues.Written agrement is nothing but a piece of paper, not enforceable.

Dont ask her to leave her family.

LEAVE HER. You will have complications later...

YEAH RANEE...Ab batao...justice ?

A sister just married in touch of her brothers..what's wrong in it?

respected members, I also dont want her to leave her family for me... but on counterpart it should be her responsibility that she should not involve her family members in to our relationship. Is n't it so? and about the matter of her brother he is regularly abusing me and threathning to kill me if i said anything to her sister...so what should i do on it ? her  all family members are in favour of  to live separately.... but i cant leave my mother alone...

@ helping hands: i am always tring to convince her asking her to give me a little time to correct the things but she always include her family in between us....she always tells a lie to me and lost my faith.. but still i am trying to convince her... is it her right choice to invovle her family in our relationship?

what should i do on my part...

@ ranee: respected member, i am not  a child who is asking this solution but i am very much confused to handle her in these extreme unfavorable conditions bcoz no body will listen my point but all her points are accepted without any argue..

Originally posted by : sandeep
	@ helping hands: i am always tring to convince her asking her to give me a little time to correct the things but she always include her family in between us....she always tells a lie to me and lost my faith.. but still i am trying to convince her... is it her right choice to invovle her family in our relationship?

Marital issues take a lot of time to resolve.

It takes two to tango.  Willingness to solve differences should not be unilateral, but bilateral.

As I always say, parentage of both the husband and wife should stop intruding and giving suggestions after a point.

It will be wrong on my part to say that one should not listen to elders and that elders should never give suggestions.

But it is for the husband and wife to think for themselves what is good for both of them and what is not.

They both must start thinking as a husband and wife and not as just a son and daughter.

It should be in them to feel as a family, think as a family and grow as a family.

There is a requirement for forgive and forget.

But you have one life, you cannot keep on waiting for the other person to change or to understand for a lifetime.

There are some issues which go beyond respect which is called self respect.

One should not stoop to such a level where one looses self respect.

But then its entirely your life.

If you are middle age say 30-35 its better to adjust with your wife.

Younger people would have more chances of finding another option if not this one.

So think, and then take a decision, cannot hold on anymore? Let go.  File for divorce, as somethings are meant to be that way.  Want to hold on, keep it that way.  Eitherways whatever decision you take, stick to it, and do not repent about it.

Get professional marriage counselling.Only this can help I think...otherwise thing will go worse and your marriage will not last.

@Justice Seeker

sir, husband can live with her wife in a separate place, but what is the gurantee of that, her parent is not visiting her house in her husband absence. I mean when he is in office.

Dear All,

I am also facing the same issue, kindly suggest me also as my wife is currently staying with her Sister & Brother -in-law.

Originally posted by : deepak
	sir, husband can live with her wife in a separate place, but what is the gurantee of that, her parent is not visiting her house in her husband absence. I mean when he is in office.

Like that one should have CC TV cameras installed in each and every room, or have spy cameras and micro transimtters which you get in LA, fix it everywhere, in her sandals, slippers, her dress, her purse with a full GPRS system in place one can know when wife's parents came, what all they spoke, what all the are planning to do, as all these will be helpul as evidences in getting divorce.  

And perhaps a nice German shepard dog in the compound which is let loose would also be helpful in keeping strangers at bay.

That was answer to your question.

Now coming to the real problem in such cases..

There should be some respect for the institution called as marriage.

Family.

Oneness.

Togetherness.

First by the couple themselves, and next by the parents or parent-in-laws.  

Parents or the parent-in-laws should not keep on poking their noses into the lives of their children.

Doing so will only create problems between husband and wife.

Parents and parent-in-laws should understand that their kid is no longer that kid whom you used to carry on your shoulders to the school, but a man a woman who is starting to lead a marital life.

Privacy/space should be given to the couple until they understand each other for the betterment of their own family.

Any poking nose or always giving suggestions will only lead the couple to frustration, finally wife deserting husband and going and sitting in mommy's place, husband's parents thinking where the hell did we get these people etc.  Trust me if such a misunderstanding happens it will be mainly due to parents and parent-in-laws intrusion, if not it will be the adamant behavior of either of the spouse.  In such cases, instead of letting them in, parents/parent-inlaws should guide their children that to go back and start a life afresh, sheltering them will only end up in breaking the marriage.

Hope some parent/parent-inlaw is listening.

@Helping hand:

Sir what is the problem in asking a wife to give anything in writing such as leave her family for entire life etc. I think here trust is broken by her to him. If he wants to rebuild the trust with her, he has to go through the written agreement only( I believe so). Is there any consequences legally in this regard?

As per Sandeep's information, she was talking to her parents and brother who were making her to provoke Sandeep. If that is true fact, how he can ensure, in future, those people wont do it?

Is interefering in day to day activities of couples by bride's parents and brother is admissable here or in court?

Please guide

Dear Friend , The Best way would be to think your wife as another human being and respect her unwillingness to live with you , and go for mutual divorce and find somebody else so both of you can live happily , ather way is to send legal notice to her and then when she files for divorce , oppose it and make her life miserable , but it is good to know that no court in this world can force her to you back