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Left me at my parents house !!

Page no : 3

Sony Singh (Social)     15 May 2011

Aditi, what ever is happening in your life can never be sorted out discussing with too many people. This will rather confuse you. The law battle is too long and painful for both the parties.

  • Just , you decide first: Whether you want to be together again ? If either party is not willing to reunite then opt to quit the relation because such reunion may results into more complications and mental stress.
  • In either case (quit / reunion) the genuine mediator is the best way.  No party is happy to live separate and spoil life. Later or sooner matter will be discussed / sorted out. Say the mediators that you are ready for compromise for either way (quit / reunion).
  • Stop humiliating if you want reunion. Especially reunion after humiliating each other will tease through out life. Its good if you are not humiliating.
  • Patience in such cases is must. After all your life is going to be affected and advisors will get busy with others.
  • TIME is most precious, save it even if you have to pay a little to settle the matter. Money / articles can be made through out life. Think of your little child.
  • Courts should be the final step. Case started in court will broaden the gaps.  Go to court only if you have very strong ground and want to quit the relation.

Best wishes to you. Take care of your kid, he is a God's Gift.

Aditi (d)     17 May 2011

Dear Sony Singh ,

 

The suggestion  that you have given me is really admirable , The way you have suggested is tha same way elders are suggesting me ....

 

I am trying my level best to sort out things , but my husband doesn't seem to be effected at all , its been 2 months now but he didn't called once to talk to me or to Our 6 yrs old Son......

Now as people are saying he has also filed for Divorce , I am left with nothing other then my son..

 

I am still in hope for things to settle down .

Thanks again for your advise

Regards

Aditi 

Hemant Agarwal (ha21@rediffmail.com Mumbai : 9820174108)     18 May 2011

Originally posted by :Aditi
"
 .... I am left with nothing other then my son..

Aditi 
"

Consider yourself as highly fortunate enough.  For you, your son is worth more than a billion dollars (i.e. if your introspect enough), SPECIALLY SO WHEN THE SON IS IN YOUR CUSTODY.

 

REALTY OF LIFE :  As regards divorce and other things :  When you expect the inevitable to happen, then accept it and move ahead, in life.  IF your husband is a nefarious fellow, THEN think that your husband is not the only thing in the world.

 

Keep Smiling .... Hemant Agarwal

Aditi (d)     22 May 2011

Hello Everyone ,

SAD  NEWS  :-( , yess my husband has filed for DIVORSE  ........ we met at women cell date and he did everything possible in insulting me and putting all wrong alligations on me :-( , to be very true , I was so shocked that I coudn't even defend myself .....

GOD Plz help me !!!!!

Please reply :

1) He has filed for divorce , am I and my son entitled for any alimony  or financial help from him ?

2) He said in Women Cell to close the case though it was filed by me , I have not yet signed for closure , will the case be closed ?

3) He has filed for divorce in his home town , can I transfer the case on my medical grounds ( he is in Punjab n I m in Uttrakhand ) ?

4) I don't want to give Divorce to him , Can i stick to this ?

5) WHO SAYS WOMEN CELL IS FOR HELPING  WOMEN , I HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS BITTER EXPERIANCE ... ALL THEY WERE DOING WAS TAKING MY HUSBAND'S SIDE ( WHILE LEAVING HE ALSO SAID THIS TO ME ::::  "" TERE SHEHAR KA WOMAN CELL TAK KHAREED LIYA , JAA KAR JO KARNA HAI """ 

PPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZ

Guide me ...

Thanks

Aditi

Ambika (NA)     22 May 2011

Dear Aditi,

According to your postings you have gone through different facets of domestic violence. You have a strong case for filing a domestic violence case against your husband. If you can, on the whole, prove the various acts of vioelnce by your husband--please do not equate vioelnce only with beating and battering--as is clear from your postings, you will be entitled to receive compensation, maintenance for yourself , child support, medical expenses, child custody  residential and rights in your matrimonila home or if you want to stay separate with your child, rental for an approapriate accommodation. In your maintenance claims, you can ask for the expenses of a maid which you require in view of your fragile health condition. 

Fight for your right please with the help of a good advocate. You can go by reference for an honest and capable advocate. I hope you have a good support system in this critical situation that you are facing. 

If you do not want to give divorce to your husband, domestic violence act is an appropriate legal remedy for you.

Also it would be good if you yourself can go through the domestic violence act 2005 .It will help you to organise your experiences in a logical sequence and give you confidence to discuss your case with the  advocate you will be engaging. 

Wish you the best....

Sony Singh (Social)     23 May 2011

Aditi

Although the news is painful, but it's better for you if He has filed for divorce. Every one shocked when he / she face the allegations (either true or false). To settle the case the wise one has to ignore all this. Filing case is easiest but to persist and defend it is very difficult. If he has opted to quit the relation with all allegations there is no use to linger on the issue.

1.      If he has filed divorce you are eligible for alimony if you don’t have any income source. Your son is eligible for alimony in any mean because both father and mother are equally responsible to grow up the child.

2.      The case can be closed on request of the petitioner if he withdraws. But can not be decided without the facts analysis / proof.

3.      The case may be transferred on strong base.

4.      Decree of Divorce can't be given on One's request. If there are allegations the petitioner has to prove these. In case of mutual agreement all the allegations have to be withdrawn by both the parties. In allegations case the proceeding is too long that you may spend life on it. The better way as I told you before is mutual consent. WHY you don't want to give divorce!! – Either revenge or affection (may be one sided in your case) are not recommended here. In your case too (as common in all such cases), the alimony / revenge / affection may obstruct the settlement. Be practical and not sentimental here. Be strong enough and REVIVE your life. Save TIME / LIFE / FUTURE. Shed down the bitter past.

5.      Yes, there may be biased people. That's why there should not be 'Women Cells' but FAMILY CELLS. Be wise and ignore the fool's comments.

Best Wishes

 

1 Like

(Guest)

@Aditi,
I am not a legal expert but I know that your facts about thyroid are correct. It is not merely a physical condition but is often triggered by emotional stress (my mother got hyperthyroidism during every stressful event in our lives). She was never advised surgery - she got better with medication.

It usually starts with general anxiety kind of symptoms and they get worse very slowly, over time. It seems that your disorder went undiagnosed for too long because you were too busy taking care of others. Take care of yourself now and don't take your husband and in-laws' attitude lying down. They have ignored their responsibility for far too long. Nobody swallows a bitter pill with a smile on their face - just be prepared for their reaction. Don't lose heart because people do change.

You have taken the right step by posting on this forum - knowledge of laws is very empowering. Lawsuits are extremely stressful so I hope you have a good support network of friends and family.

I hope things work out for you. You are probably thinking now that you are destined to spend the rest of your life as a sick person, after giving all your productive life and money to your in-laws. It's not so. Our productive life is longer than eight years, the best years of your life are not behind you. I do think your thyroid disorder will get better when you take care of yourself. Your body is telling you that you're suffering, take it as a blessing in disguise - it is a wake-up call to do something about your situation.
I hope I didn't offend you.

 


(Guest)

@Aditi: My sister filed for divorce in another state (where she was working after leaving her husband). Her husband had to travel to attend the hearings. We got her husband's notice by post but didn't accept/ receive the notice from postman. She filed a separate divorce suit in a different city where she was working. 


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