Only till LUST STABILIZES, do most of these Marriages Last

If it is not for debate or discussion why is it posted here. What purpose this theory is doing here. Is anybody wanting to learn lust or family planning here. Forum is the subject not for imparting college theories. This hard work needs to be on Facebook for maximum reach for this analysis.

Admin needs to look into such useless information which needs no debates or discussion and refrain such articles from populating this forum.

The issue raised by the author is serious but not prsenetd in right way. Soiety is facing mounting cases of matrominial discord and cases. We are going the western way.  lawyesr duty is not only to contestcases for client in courts only but find alternate soultions to socio-legal issues.

There is famous adage: 7 years itch after marriage. Most marriages get strained in 7 years by which time you have 1-2 kids and all the fairy tale charm is lost in couple.

One has to be very careful when finishing 6th year of marriage and around that. Couple has to reinvent the marriage,celebrate it and find fresh couplings and redicover lost love. The modern life is so strained. The perennial problem with boys is "Garwali baharwali itch" specially after a few yearsof marriage.

Courts dont run societies. We cant break society recklessly by clinically executed court decrees.. and in India litigation is endless.

 

@ Naveen Raj

 

The problem with today's generation is the THINKING IN ENGLISH, forgetting one's TRUE IDENTITY and beating the english at being english.

 

Quite some time ago, many years ago, when I was offered a senior role, in a huge MNC, a deutsche firm, there was a clause which read

 

' WHICHEVER COUNTRY DEPUTED, YOU AGREE TO BE SENSITIVE TO LOCAL SENTIMENTS AND CULTURE '

 

That line essentially highlighted the need to respect the sanctity of the cultural ethos of a society.

 

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However, here in India, convent education with a liberal dose of english language is fine.

 

The problem begins when the liberal dose of english customs and culture ( english, as in reference to a section- i repeat, just a small section - of the USofA ) spreads over.

 

Terminator, Star Wars, English Novels,...etc are imagined to be TRUE HIGH-LIFE.

 

With this begins the act of lashing out on anybody that attempts to draw a single line of reference to anything pertaining to culture and customs of the HUGE LIFE.

 

Even in the USofA ( most of my family members settled there, few returned to India and myself opting out ), the slang used by the youth in India and the mannerisms projected to reflect the so-called English way of life ( as in the USofA ) DOES NOT EXIST there.

 

A miniscule percentage of the drug peddlers and members of the lowest strata of society, choose to adopt such a life-style, which is a HUGE PATTERN OF LIFE, here in India, in the name of WESTERN CULTURE.

 

The result is an ARROGANT SOCIETY with liberal usage of PROFANITY, VULGARITY,...etc and pushing that off as the HIGH-CULTURED PROGRESSIVE THINKING whereas in REALITY, it is plainly REGRESSIVE and DISASTROUS THINKING.

 

Western Culture, in the USofA, is highly disciplined and families remain TRULY families.

 

As One UNIT.

 

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With this point highlighted, now let me address your concern.

 

 

The reason i said ' no debate ' is because a debate in a sensitive matter, is healthy when treated that way.

 

But on an online forum, a debate tends to get dirty and that in turn as a chain-effect, tends to lead the focus away from the essence and digresses on to mud-slinging.

 

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Yes, I can post it on FB, but the reach to a wider audience is quickly available here.

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As for your comment ' useless ', I leave it to your medula oblangata to think it over.

 

You are free to have your opinions. They are yours. Truly Indeed.

 

@ Dr.Rajendra Gupta

 

Gupta Ji, Point noted.

 

It was a random flow of thoughts as a sequel to response to a query by a member, pertaining to the above mentioned topic ( inter-caste and inter-religious marriages ).

 

I tried to trim it appropriately, but owing to busy schedule, could only manage so much.

 

But your observations are well noted.

 

Your opinion here, is a very valid one, especially in today's society, although lawyers too are plain individuals with limits and limitations and effecting change has to happen from within the individual.

_______ well-said _________________

 

Soiety is facing mounting cases of matrominial discord and cases.

 

Courts dont run societies. We cant break society recklessly by clinically executed court decrees.. and in India litigation is endless.

 

Could not agree less with you Mr Iyer.

 

Se x plays a very pivotal role in marital life’s success, but let me remind readers that se x per se itself does not constitute marriage or marital life, it is just a part of marriage which plays a very important role.  Consummation of marriage itself does not mean that the married life is excellent.  There are more things to marriage than just se x.  companionship, understanding, helping each other with household activities, taking responsibility of each other to name a few.  Just sleeping with each other performing the act and bearing children itself does not mean a couple are leading happy marital life.  Both of them should understand their respective responsibilities as parents.

 

Young boys and girls often falter when they enter adulthood and end up having se x, without thinking the consequences of it, what it may lead to.  Caste, religion, social status, education, financial status all play as good role as se x in determining the success of marital life of a couple.

 

Young men and women carry a lot of responsibility on their shoulders when it comes to what to take forward as a society.  They should always think of being examples for other people like them.

 

Love more importantly plays a very important role here. What is love?  Another name for adjusting nature?  Another name of helplessness where a person has to agree when there is no other option than to say yes?  One needs to think.

 

But it all boils down to one thing, need of having a life partner.  Young men and women who get married always when things turn sour or the smallest of matters run back to their respective parents, for them parents are their life partner, which is wrong.  Parents involvement in young couples lives must be very minimal, they should let them take their own decisions without spoonfeeding them with knowledge breakfast and lunch and dinner.

 

Attaining marriageable age itself is not the qualification for getting married, but mental maturity is required to get married.

 

Basically there should be the understandment of the need to have a life partner, without that in place, no marriage is going to be easy and with today’s lifestyle and temparent issues of young men and women, divorce seems to be the easier way out for many which is wrong.

 

Courts and lawyers should go hand in hand to do general counseling for couples who have marital disputes, which is rarely done, especially advocates need to understand this, that when it comes to matrimonial cases, it is not just the fees, but the cost here is lives of two families.

 

Usually intercaste marriage, inter religion marriage dont work for the fact that has been explained above, once after having s*x couples realize other things like God, religion, social status, etc etc etc and there starts the divide.

 

My advice is if the attraction is so strong better book a room, use a condom and do it, rather than having s*x and then for the reason that they had s*x marry each other and eventually take divorce, file a host of cases on each other and spoil the institution of marriage.

@ Helping Hand

 

Very well thought over lines and neatly articulated.

 

Bang on Target.

 

Yes, your points are really worth the read.

 

Just to add, I have now come to believe personally that Destiny drives Fate.

 

See, you offer suggestions to a person, alerting him of the dangers of a particular act.

 

But be it man / woman, they do what they feel like.

 

When they crash, they do not learn a lesson.

 

They do the same act, with a heavy dosage of negative ego and destructive anger.

 

One day, they collapse and vanish from the scene.

 

You try to locate them to establish old contact, they evade and avoid you since they have learnt the hard way that they were WRONG.

 

So, their fate pulled them to it's own self and destiny designed this for them.

 

So, we may offer suggestions, but even to think it over and adopt as precautionary measure, they need to be lucky ones.

Natarajan there is nothing like destiny. 

1. We are all captives of our own minds and attitudes.We should break the cage of our old habits and our existing attitudes

2. Our childhood bringing up specially by age of 5 years writes our horoscope for remaining life ( Dr Eric Berne)

3. Luck is nothing but ability to notice the opportunity passing by. Those who grab it, are called lucky and those who abandon are called unlucky.

4. Hard work puts  you in a place where the good luck can find you

These are eternal truths and will remain. Let us not pass our failures to Destiny.

Most marriages fail because of complex changes in society and different peceptions and priorities of male and female species.Are you aware that It is lioness who hunts for food ,gives birht to child and dominates the family? The males hardly do much.You can find this habit in a large number of species even bes and aunts.

Males are basically polygamous by nature. Whereas females have habit of nesting.Female wants protective environment ,stability and depends on love and feelings of her mate and the people around.

Indians are madly going after wrecked society and pervert cultures of western countries as it gives us pride to be one of them.

Even our lawyer community has to change its perceptions . You can't think of money every where

What happens is an environment that is promoting way wardness, promiscuity, chasing of quick  made unearned wealth and blindly aping western culture. Law also fans the issues.These are putting people in state of distrust,insecurity,selfishness and resulting stress. 

Sex looses meaning after a couple of years anyway and just becomes another routine of no glamor and experience.

When, children are born, wife's(now mother) attention gets diverted and the already polygamous mind of man starts hunting for attention and love outside.....Females realtives like sister or mother fan the fire.Trying to be helpful and also revengeful.

I can keep analysing, but fact remains that it is very complex matter and in ancient times females were under pressure and compnay of elderly women, male folk, grand parents and village folk . There were ritual like Kerva Chouth which were designed to reaffirm trust in marriage and divine relationship propounded in Institution of marriage. 

 

@ Dr.Rajendra Gupta

 

There were ritual like Kerva Chouth which were designed to reaffirm trust in marriage and divine relationship propounded in Institution of marriage. 

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Hmmm....ab ghuma phirakae, yaheen pe aa khadaen hain hum society mein.

 

kum se kum soch toh lethae yeh log, before deciding to abandon the good practices of our ancestors.

 

pur isee koh thakdeer maantha hoon... ki bhai, bhagya ( destiny ) mein jo likha hai, wohi toh thakdeer ki or le jaathi hai...

 

myn yeh naheen keh rahaa hoon ki failures ko destiny maan lein, pur yeh avashya kahoon ki beyond all our efforts, jo phal miltein hain, woh phal hamare bhagya mein hai thabhbhee milega.

 

ab dhekiyae, badminton champ Sindhu ki or. khadee mehnath ke baadh bhi, haar maanne ke alaava aur koyee raastha naheen bachaa.

 

next match she might win.

but what about the recent one ?

 

she worked hard but that was not sufficient.

why was it not sufficient ?

 

various factors as the reasons.

why those reasons ?

 

agar hum is thara WHY WHY poochte niklenge toh aa khade hotae hain bhagya mein.

ki bhai, yon likha thaa aur so huaa.

 

khyr, soch alag hee sahee, but I am totally in agreement of these lines of yours.

 

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You can't think of money every where

What happens is an environment that is promoting way wardness, promiscuity, chasing of quick  made unearned wealth and blindly aping western culture. Law also fans the issues.These are putting people in state of distrust,insecurity,selfishness and resulting stress. 

Originally posted by : Dr Rajendra K Gupta
	Natarajan there is nothing like destiny.  1. We are all captives of our own minds and attitudes.We should break the cage of our old habits and our existing attitudes 2. Our childhood bringing up specially by age of 5 years writes our horoscope for remaining life ( Dr Eric Berne) 3. Luck is nothing but ability to notice the opportunity passing by. Those who grab it, are called lucky and those who abandon are called unlucky. 4. Hard work puts  you in a place where the good luck can find you These are eternal truths and will remain. Let us not pass our failures to Destiny. Most marriages fail because of complex changes in society and different peceptions and priorities of male and female species.Are you aware that It is lioness who hunts for food ,gives birht to child and dominates the family? The males hardly do much.You can find this habit in a large number of species even bes and aunts. Males are basically polygamous by nature. Whereas females have habit of nesting.Female wants protective environment ,stability and depends on love and feelings of her mate and the people around. Indians are madly going after wrecked society and pervert cultures of western countries as it gives us pride to be one of them. Even our lawyer community has to change its perceptions . You can't think of money every where What happens is an environment that is promoting way wardness, promiscuity, chasing of quick  made unearned wealth and blindly aping western culture. Law also fans the issues.These are putting people in state of distrust,insecurity,selfishness and resulting stress.  Sex looses meaning after a couple of years anyway and just becomes another routine of no glamor and experience. When, children are born, wife's(now mother) attention gets diverted and the already polygamous mind of man starts hunting for attention and love outside.....Females realtives like sister or mother fan the fire.Trying to be helpful and also revengeful. I can keep analysing, but fact remains that it is very complex matter and in ancient times females were under pressure and compnay of elderly women, male folk, grand parents and village folk . There were ritual like Kerva Chouth which were designed to reaffirm trust in marriage and divine relationship propounded in Institution of marriage.

Agree With you Gupta ji.

 

IT all depends on decisions taken and none else, one cannot blame or give credit to luck, destiny for the decisions one has taken. 

 

One if has to blame has towards his or her decisions taken.  SO alway take right decision which is logically and legally and ethically correct.

@ Gyan .... logical, legal and ethical ----------- Excellently said