Title: A Ritual called Alimony.
Years ago I was listening to Swami Sukhbodhanand on Aastha channel and he was explaining the meaning of the word ritual and how we generally do many such things in life. He gave an anecdote for better understanding.
The story goes like this..
There was a Guru who had mastered the scripttures. One day, when he was teaching Vedas to his disciples, a cat was moving around. This, however, did not disturb the Guru, but was a distraction to some of his disciples. So, the Guru instructed his disciples to get hold of the cat and tether it to a pillar to prevent distraction. As this nuisance continued to recur on the following days, the cat was regularly tethered to the pillar before the Guru began his teaching. After some years, the Guru passed away. One of his disciples became the new head of that ashram. The practice of tethering the cat to the pillar continued while he taught his disciples. After a few months, the cat died. The next day, when the new Guru began his teachings, he noticed that the cat was missing. He said, “Don’t you know that a cat must be tethered to the pillar here during my teaching? This is our tradition!” The disciples promptly obeyed his orders. People blindly follow tradition and miss the spirit of tradition.
The alimony granted to modern wives is no different. Source: SIF helplines and weekly meetings with frustrated husbands. The justifications come from able bodies humans who belong to the feminine gender. The mother of all causes is money, and how does one extract that from husband. The courts more or less have made a mandate for a “husband to give and wife to take money” irrespective the capacity of girl to earn. She is also granted money even if she is earning good. Only the ones that are not paid become landmark judgements but are contested to my surprise (the famous case of wife earning 80K a month pining for alimony). While alimony is justified to house wives in some cases of long marriages but for the women of now generation where marriages hardly lasts one anniversary and two income groups potential, the verdicts should not be blind folded with the formula of 1/3rd, 1/5th of hubby’s salary.
Some cases of dowryless marriages turning into divorces (Names changed): Married for 6 months, Post false DV, False 498a trauma, Manpreet did not want to become a victim of false alimony, he therefore served summons to his estranged wife at her workplace and her office bearers also confessed in a written statement to the court of his wife working. But the courts granted the childless wife an Alimony of Rs.7000/- of Manpreet’s 15000/-, Parag Shah a chartered by profession saw how the husbands are traumatized at the Family Court where one husband was not heard who refused to accept a next date and wanted the hearing to proceed coz he could not come every 10 days leaving his work just to get a date without proceedings, to parag’s shock the husband was asked to leave and was not heard, to subdue his voice the lady judge kept the bell pressed for almost 3 minutes till the husband stopped talking. Another case where a govt employee wife was voluntarily saving her entire salary of 18000/- was awarded a monthly alimony of Rs.19000/-. Sharad’s claims that his wife is supported by her boss and her lawyer that her income is all in black and there are no records to prove, an architect by profession has filed revision of monthly alimony of 10000/- granted to her, to Rs.20000/- in the high court. Vipul’s Lawyer shared with him one serial One-Time-Alimony taker who took Rs.12Lakhs from first, 20 Lakhs from second and is chasing for 25 Lakhs from her third husband in last 5 yrs. (Source: SIF Weekly meetings/Helplines)
There are many wives doing well as freelance entrepreneurs in Beauty Parlour, fashion, jewelry designing, research assignments, engineers verticals doing well but not accounted. Courts are either pretending sleep or fooled on this male exploitation. While in wedlock to escape the chores of household work a lady starts working. Once separated due to money ego and clashes how come the same lady becomes dependent? This is a serious bug in the law of alimony and interim alimony.
An income in cash does not add up to records, but liquidity is liquidity in any form and the courts are royally fooled since a good time.
A harassed husband files for a divorce, it is a civil suit with no timelines, in retaliation a wife files for alimony it is treated under CrPC (Criminal Procedure Code) and has to reach a logical conclusion in 60 days. And the myth is males are better off and women are losers. So dear Indian Husbands and Family members, its time to uncover the facts and we will have to do it.
“Parda jo uth gaya to bhed khul jaayega” Let’s unveil that truth, let us fight to change the system.
Satyamev Jayate,
Source credit: Jinesh Zaveri.
The story goes like this..
There was a Guru who had mastered the scripttures. One day, when he was teaching Vedas to his disciples, a cat was moving around. This, however, did not disturb the Guru, but was a distraction to some of his disciples. So, the Guru instructed his disciples to get hold of the cat and tether it to a pillar to prevent distraction. As this nuisance continued to recur on the following days, the cat was regularly tethered to the pillar before the Guru began his teaching. After some years, the Guru passed away. One of his disciples became the new head of that ashram. The practice of tethering the cat to the pillar continued while he taught his disciples. After a few months, the cat died. The next day, when the new Guru began his teachings, he noticed that the cat was missing. He said, “Don’t you know that a cat must be tethered to the pillar here during my teaching? This is our tradition!” The disciples promptly obeyed his orders. People blindly follow tradition and miss the spirit of tradition.
The alimony granted to modern wives is no different. Source: SIF helplines and weekly meetings with frustrated husbands. The justifications come from able bodies humans who belong to the feminine gender. The mother of all causes is money, and how does one extract that from husband. The courts more or less have made a mandate for a “husband to give and wife to take money” irrespective the capacity of girl to earn. She is also granted money even if she is earning good. Only the ones that are not paid become landmark judgements but are contested to my surprise (the famous case of wife earning 80K a month pining for alimony). While alimony is justified to house wives in some cases of long marriages but for the women of now generation where marriages hardly lasts one anniversary and two income groups potential, the verdicts should not be blind folded with the formula of 1/3rd, 1/5th of hubby’s salary.
Some cases of dowryless marriages turning into divorces (Names changed): Married for 6 months, Post false DV, False 498a trauma, Manpreet did not want to become a victim of false alimony, he therefore served summons to his estranged wife at her workplace and her office bearers also confessed in a written statement to the court of his wife working. But the courts granted the childless wife an Alimony of Rs.7000/- of Manpreet’s 15000/-, Parag Shah a chartered by profession saw how the husbands are traumatized at the Family Court where one husband was not heard who refused to accept a next date and wanted the hearing to proceed coz he could not come every 10 days leaving his work just to get a date without proceedings, to parag’s shock the husband was asked to leave and was not heard, to subdue his voice the lady judge kept the bell pressed for almost 3 minutes till the husband stopped talking. Another case where a govt employee wife was voluntarily saving her entire salary of 18000/- was awarded a monthly alimony of Rs.19000/-. Sharad’s claims that his wife is supported by her boss and her lawyer that her income is all in black and there are no records to prove, an architect by profession has filed revision of monthly alimony of 10000/- granted to her, to Rs.20000/- in the high court. Vipul’s Lawyer shared with him one serial One-Time-Alimony taker who took Rs.12Lakhs from first, 20 Lakhs from second and is chasing for 25 Lakhs from her third husband in last 5 yrs. (Source: SIF Weekly meetings/Helplines)
There are many wives doing well as freelance entrepreneurs in Beauty Parlour, fashion, jewelry designing, research assignments, engineers verticals doing well but not accounted. Courts are either pretending sleep or fooled on this male exploitation. While in wedlock to escape the chores of household work a lady starts working. Once separated due to money ego and clashes how come the same lady becomes dependent? This is a serious bug in the law of alimony and interim alimony.
An income in cash does not add up to records, but liquidity is liquidity in any form and the courts are royally fooled since a good time.
A harassed husband files for a divorce, it is a civil suit with no timelines, in retaliation a wife files for alimony it is treated under CrPC (Criminal Procedure Code) and has to reach a logical conclusion in 60 days. And the myth is males are better off and women are losers. So dear Indian Husbands and Family members, its time to uncover the facts and we will have to do it.
“Parda jo uth gaya to bhed khul jaayega” Let’s unveil that truth, let us fight to change the system.
Satyamev Jayate,
Source credit: Jinesh Zaveri.
