Wife does not willing to stay with husband

@ Author,

1. If she can self support and she can also provide for child support she can move and process her case from a rented residence.

2. However in such long marriage cases it is always advisable to seek first protection Order under Domestic Violence Act living under same roof with children and then process a case for divorce.

With first suggestion disadvantage is that she has to be on self support model.

With second suggestion the disadvantage is that protection officer needs to be pro-active to help her / child always in need on some of the violation by husband / his side of family.

Moreover she has a reson to walk away and live using seperate residence as violation of her matrimonial rights seems to be continuous as per presented facts. Laws says consent of husband necessary for living seperately. But when husband does nto give consent and there are matrimonial rights violation for continously then she can always assure court of the 'neglect' of husband in his performance of matrimonial duties. So it all depends on interpretation from case to case. let case go on floor of the court. Sitting and waiting for him to give divorce will never entitle her for divorce if that is what she feels is right for her after a decade long marriage!

However in general society expects her to live under same roof and process her case for divorce as per grounds availabel based on facts to facts via first seeking some sort of protection order under DV Act to protect her destitution / welfare of children  and domestic violence she may be said to have been subjected as per her statements.

Make her understand various models (rights) she is entitled to seek her rights through / give her women friendly glimpse of law and tell her to proceed seeing her comfort level first and her decision may not be solely resting on this advise only.

Always better to hire services of a women issues sympathetic lawyer via reference / search LCI databse for finding one and discuss her agrievements / allegations and remedies she is entitled for then act accordingly an dnot before is one view.

Hi Suvajit,

In my considered opinion, the woman should walk out, an abusive relationship is much more than physical scars, it wreaks a person's psyche. She has all the rights under the sun. She is not required to be a burden on her parents. She can seek maintenance if she is unable to maintain herself, maintainence for children is always there to get. If there has been a dowry angle - she can voice her grievance regarding that too.

Considering discussing this with a local organisation or a seasoned family lawyer in your area.

Hi Members,

I have been married for 1 year 2 months.I do not want to stay with my husband .We both are from different culture,language and background.But soon after the marriage I went through severe mental and physical torture.Now we both are working and staying separately for almost six months.Even he does not want to take any responsibility of mine.He does not have any contact with his own family.So their family members cannot help us.

I dont want to continue this relationship. But he wants to create problems for me.Neither he wants to stay with me nor he is ready to go for mutual divorce.

In that case what should I do and how long my divorce case might take ?

@ Anamika,

Your query just need little sitting down that also before the right Authorities. Suggest you to file for plain Divorce. The moment you do that and case gets admitted, notice will be served upon him and he and you will be sent for mandatory re-conciliation. The Counselor there should be made aware of the situation both are in currently and specifically tell him that both want divorce but this last mile virus is in husband’s upper faculty! Let the counselor work on both of you first on patchign up failing which he will make him understand the merits of non – contested suit matter J

Your goal is achieved J
 
(Search for an advocate via reference / search one from LCI database of Lawyers)

ATB.

Anamika, your husband does not have any relation with his own family nor with you..any peculiar reason?

Dear,

Thanks for your kind response,

Here few points are to be mentioned:

1. Sine the lady does not have any income she is unable to take the kids alongwith. Moreover the husband will never allow the kids to be taken away. This will hamper the kids' education as well. Wife is confident about the fact the husband will take care of the kids.

2. Since the lady has no income she is compelled to be guest of her friend till the time she gets financial assistance from her husband through some legal mandate.

Now there arises few probable consequenses:

1. Will the lady have to mention her destination address in the general diary that she is about to put up in local police station to avoid any kind of missing diary lodged by her husband? If she does not mention the destination address in the General Diary, will that be accepted by the duty officer or would be refused as "Incomplete StatemenT"? Because if she mentions the destination address, the husband will get to know the same and might try to harrass the lady and her supporter as well.

2. Can the husband lodge any complaint at the local police station against the wife regarding any kind of theft or having illegal relationship with an external fellow (who is giving the shelter), or eloping her wife against the person who is proving the shelter to his wife? Because according to Hindu Marriage Act, the wife is not supposed to stay at any place except her husband. In case the wife is taking shelter with a friend of hers might be she would be living in the same buliding (but different floor).

3. In the 2nd point, if the husband accuses the lady to having an illegal relationship, will police come and pick the lady up and send her to the govt. home or the matrimonial house again where she tried to escape from? In that case it's evident that the lady is forced to stay with husband against her will/ consent.

Regards,

Suvajit

9830053002

Dear Suvjit ,

A twist in the matter " Wife is confident that husband will take care of the kids "  than where is the question of negligence of the kids hence the statement it self proves the husband is loving towards the kids and there is no question of domestic violence against the kids . 

If domestic violence has taken place between the husband and wife that she can get reliefs in the form of maintaince ,residence ( rental ) etc . But all these haveto be proved and it depends how long it would take for a domestic violence case to go on maybe 4-5 yrs . yes the husband can file a case if she is staying with another man and having a illicit relationship which would have to be proved and if proved you not even get any maintanence .

Dear Stanley,

Thanks for your opinion,

The husband never neglected the kids as described by the wife. There were several instances where this lady was slapped and abused by husband as she shouted at the kids on their study or disciplinary guidance. She said to her husband that she wants to leave the matrimonial house along with the kids, the husband replied that he would like to kick off the lady from the house but not with the kids. So wife presumes that husband will take care of kids.Moreover she is unable to provide school fees of the kids. As you rightly said the domestic violence has taken place only between the husband and wife whenever wife has said or did anything against the husband's wish. The lady has already lodged a General Diary against the husband and in-laws at the local police station. The soft copy is attached.

Now the husband is putting up mental pressure to the wife as she wants divorce saying that he will commit suicide and put her in trouble. He is calling up his sisters and other relatives also so that they come at their place or call up the lady every other day and presserize her to sleep with her husband and forget the divorce whereas she is mentally unable to accept this person and his presence anymore. Hence seeking a shelter outside home so that in any event of her husband committing any suicidal attempt irrespective of the successful or unsuccessful it is, law can not hold this lady as directly responsible for the same.

Another point is the lady is searching for a job which is quite tough in to get in Kolkata or in any metro city, just as she does not want any alimony from her husband. She wants to live on her own instead of her husband's money.

Please put your view onto it.

Regards,

Suvajit

9830053002

Dear,

Is it possible to not to leave the husband's place and suit a contested divorce on the domestic violence act? But during this period it will be quite impossible for the lady to stay under the same roof with her husband and in-laws. And her husband will never let her stay anywhere else in a rented accomodation where husband would pay the money. Moreover nobody would like to take such a single woman contesting for divorce as a tenant as he/she would be worried about the monthly rent collection and the contract of rent, unless the landlord is her friend. And if she goes to a friend's place for rented accomodation, the husband would complain that the wife is living with another person which is a cognizable offense and the friend and the wife both might be under procecution and taken in police custody till the court allows both/any one of them to be released.

Please advise on the situation.

Regards,

Suvajit

One thing -  one of the post says tha husband said that he would like to kick the wife but at other place husband is saying that he will commit suicide if wife leaves.

Things does not seem to be coherent.

Anyway if there is real domestic vilolence, under the prevalent law of the land she will get reliefs. But most the question asked here seem to be whether wife will get some bad name/legal trouble if she leaves - answer is simple.  There is no way to stop a person(husband in this case) to file false case. But if wife does and says things with clean hand ultimately she will be a winner.

Dear Shankar,

Thanks for writing.

The wife proposed husband about separation almost 3 months before and the same reply received from the husband. Perhaps husband was confident about the fact that a non-earning lady would not step outside of home after such a harsh and dominating response. But after that several things have already happened with the wife which has made her desparate enough to be vocal against her husband. Now she has been able to go to police station and lodge a General Diary against her husband. So apperently the scenario is changed a vast. Now the husband can see the adamance in his so far dominated wife's character and now he is thinking of being harrassed in society as the matter has already gone out of the walls. He is much scared now about the police and other legal interventions. Now he is scared of being dragged to court and compelled to give divorce and the alimony to the wife lifelong (although the wife is not interested in alimony). So now he is finding himself at a corner and trying to blackmail the wife emotionally and with a social stigma of course that this lady's husband committed/ tried to commit suicide due to the wife.

Now the query is if the husband complains to police about eloping his wife or having external illicit relationship will the police come to the rented accomodation and take the wife and her friend in their custody? or the same would be contested in court? and how it can be established that the wife has no illegal relationship with her friend who has given her nothing but a shelter?

Regards,

Suvajit

Ours marriage was  a love marriage.But all  happened in a very short time.Within a year I met him and  we got married.His parents were divorced at  very young age.This I knew it before marriage.But I never realized that  all this thing can affect so much to our relationship.Soon after marriage I realized that his family is very much disturbed.My mother-in -law got married recently.For that reason he is not talking with his family and reatives.I think for that reason he lost all the trust and respect.And I am the victim of all his frustrations.He uses abusive words for me and my family for very small reasons.From small daily chore things it will start and it will end up in either physical or mental torture.

 And he had asked his family members not to interfere in his personal matters.Neither he listens to my family members.

I cannot stay in this environment  where every single day is a tension and fight between loved ones.I dnt deserve abusive words for no reasons.It is affecting my self respect.I am na independent woman.I dont need any money from him.I just want peace .So want to get rid of this environment. 

@Anamika,

you are educated, so why your husband needs to take your responsibility?

If you have proofs of his cruelty then you will get divorce.You are living separately , so why you need a divorce if your husband does not want?Generally husband want to remarry and wife unwilling of divorce.