Marriage in india is a loss for husband

You are right my dear, it is ghate ka  sauda but there is no other option...

There are options-

1) Staying single

2) Live in-change frequently so it does not become -like marriage relationship inviting DV.

3) Surrogate mother for children.

4) Sperm donation!

5) Marrying non Indian and taking citizenship elsewhere-if that is feasible!

P.S Just a food for thought!

Another option:

 

Marry a beautiful woman and become a pimp.  Educate women about importance of contributing money whatever way she can to husband. That will make marriage a profitable option for men.

Cut the crap out chandershekhar ... please suggest viable and practical options !!   Can you act as a pimp at all ??? 

Why can't?  See the change in women in films from 1950s till date.  Don't they look s*xier and bolder now than the women in 1950s?  Why can't men change to become pimps for the sake of money if women can look bolder and s*xier for the sake of money?Just kidding.

 

On a serious note, family is not like an industry where people prepare a balance sheet of what the company gets and what it loses and how the the assets and profits should be distrubuted between promoters and shareholders and employees. People's thoughts are getting corrupt because of corporitazation of minds. They are not able to find the difference between family and corporate because of this corruption of minds. In a company something like a performance appraisal system would be there to assess the productivity of employees and some policy to make differentiation between the better contributors and ordinary contributors.  In family no formal assessment you find as to who contributed what and in terms of what. 

 

What does a child contribute to parents when he is one year old or two years old?  You only spend on him.  Do you consider him a liability to your family? 

 

He contributes in terms of happiness to family.  When a man is happy, he gets energy.  He uses that energy to improve his productivity in his official duties.  So it is very difficult to say, who contributed here whether the happiness given by child or by the ability and skill of man. 

 

So what is profitable and what is not is not to be measured strictly in terms of money in families like we measure in companies using a performance appraisal system and productivity scales. Because in a family the contribution is in terms of peace of mind, love, affection, care and happiness which are immeasurable and you cannot quantify those things in terms of money.  Wife and husband are part of family, there is nothing like if one gains the other loses.  Any gain is gain for both and a loss is loss for both.  People who have thoughts of I get loss you get profit about wives should develop relationships outside marriage so that they do not suffer loss and they should not call the relationship with women as marriage.  The spirit of institution of family and marriage is that every family member should be prepared to spend till last rupee in his pocket is spent to defend the interests of family members. I did that in my personal life.  So I know it. If you want to defend your interest vis-a-vis other family members you are not fit to be part of family life. That family member may be wife, father, mother, brother or sister.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chandrasekhar,

All philosophical again?!!

Sure if husbands want to spend his last penny on her all wives would be happy-I mean until that last penny is gone!

These are same people who say stridhan strictly belongs to wife and it is OK if she spends it on herself.? Your arguments are sounding pretty hollow.

Indian system- parents care for child when he is young and that child takes care of his parents when they are old. This basic concept is also changing. It seems you are stuck in the past. It is not what you want to see in a society that mattres-it is what you actually see that matters.

The questions here are not about hunky-dory families.

Specious arguments on other family members etc are not applicable.

Marriage today is about numbers. It is what it is-some refuse to see it!

Originally posted by :bhima balla
"	There are options- 1) Staying single 2) Live in-change frequently so it does not become -like marriage relationship inviting DV. 3) Surrogate mother for children. 4) Sperm donation! 5) Marrying non Indian and taking citizenship elsewhere-if that is feasible! P.S Just a food for thought!	"

there are problem in live in relation and surrogate motherhood. the women rights monkeys will shout that that way women are exploited and vote vikhary govt. of india will make another unjust law in favour of women.

 

marrying non indian.... ok. it is a feasible option so far the marriage law of that country is concerned.if the law of that country is good then o.k.

sperm donation: donate to whom?

 

staying single is best option in india.

Originally posted by :chandrasekhar.7203@ gmail.com
"	Why can't?  See the change in women in films from 1950s till date.  Don't they look s*xier and bolder now than the women in 1950s?  Why can't men change to become pimps for the sake of money if women can look bolder and s*xier for the sake of money?Just kidding.   On a serious note, family is not like an industry where people prepare a balance sheet of what the company gets and what it loses and how the the assets and profits should be distrubuted between promoters and shareholders and employees. People's thoughts are getting corrupt because of corporitazation of minds. They are not able to find the difference between family and corporate because of this corruption of minds. In a company something like a performance appraisal system would be there to assess the productivity of employees and some policy to make differentiation between the better contributors and ordinary contributors.  In family no formal assessment you find as to who contributed what and in terms of what.    What does a child contribute to parents when he is one year old or two years old?  You only spend on him.  Do you consider him a liability to your family?    He contributes in terms of happiness to family.  When a man is happy, he gets energy.  He uses that energy to improve his productivity in his official duties.  So it is very difficult to say, who contributed here whether the happiness given by child or by the ability and skill of man.    So what is profitable and what is not is not to be measured strictly in terms of money in families like we measure in companies using a performance appraisal system and productivity scales. Because in a family the contribution is in terms of peace of mind, love, affection, care and happiness which are immeasurable and you cannot quantify those things in terms of money.  Wife and husband are part of family, there is nothing like if one gains the other loses.  Any gain is gain for both and a loss is loss for both.  People who have thoughts of I get loss you get profit about wives should develop relationships outside marriage so that they do not suffer loss and they should not call the relationship with women as marriage.  The spirit of institution of family and marriage is that every family member should be prepared to spend till last rupee in his pocket is spent to defend the interests of family members. I did that in my personal life.  So I know it. If you want to defend your interest vis-a-vis other family members you are not fit to be part of family life. That family member may be wife, father, mother, brother or sister.	"

why this man does not understand my point and still reply to my thread?

i am not talking about family at all. i am talking about how unequally law treats men and women in india. i think justice comes from equality.  our constitution also preaches equality in art.14. still indian legal system treat men and women unequally.

in divorce women get money and property of man inspite of having her own ancestral property. men lost their everything in marriage while women gains everything. this is the unequal unjust treatment i am talking about. why this unequal treatment is my question.

so far as your advice on pimping you do it yourself. you look like a pimp.but please don't reply to my thread if you don't understand what i am saying.

thank you.

 

Wringing ones hands thinking that one is helpless under government tyranny does not bode well for a so called democracy! Feminists and women's empowermnet 'activists' and organisations are well organized and heavily funded. As oppression increases and obnoxious laws take their toll-the opposition would also grow. It has to grow until these are reversed. Vocal and ballot protests are the first steps in this direction. Men have to become independent, learn to cook, take care of themselves and think seriously whether mrriage is necessary at all!

Remember women need children.Biological clock will be ticking! They have weaknesses as much as man if not more.

Sperm donation-sperm banks -invest in it. May these banks grow exponentially!

On surrogacy-sure government may bring laws detrimental and make things difficult.But surrogacy is a contract-you would negotiate the terms. This route is only for those who want children without the need to marry, live in etc i.e staying single. The government may make surrogacy only for infertile couple. Then sperm donation is the way to go!

The fact that ordinary citizens are being criminalized under these illconceived,illframed,often misused laws is criminalizing society. It is clear people are finding ways around these laws.

When common man cannot lead decent lives due to such laws, cannot lead life with dignity, honour and respect-such activities will increase dramatically.

Unless parliament listens to all sections of people and not just the feminists and make sane laws, which makes sense and assure justice, more and more problem will occur!

That reply was given to Ananya not to you. For both of you I had given another small reply above that. You have not noticed it. In some other thread I also said prostitution is already legal in India. S.497 of IPC Adultery does not penalize an unmarried woman if she indulges in s*xual relationship with a married man. And if a married man wants to be a pimp, he can give his consent ("connivance" is the word used in law for consent) to another man to enjoy his wife then it does not come under the definition of adultery. So the law of adultery in India gives wide scope for women and men who want make the choice of prostitution and brothal business as their careers. There is no need of separate legislation for it. Lord Macaulay who had written Indian Penal Code prior to 1860 had foresight of modern thinkers emerging after 2010 so he designed law of Adultery like that. Men and women who want to make their lives "profitable" without having to be part of institution of family and marriage are free to enter the profession of prostitution and brothal business and try their luck. No stoppage. There are many societies in India. If you want to create a new society you have a right to create it. Why cry foul about a society that follows the institution of marriage when you are free to be part of society that you want to create? You propagate your theories to people, change them, create a new religion if you want. Why do you want to be part of Hindu society and change Hindu laws? Abandon this society and create a society of your own and have your followers and show the way to the world.

very spirited and informative averments by Mr. Chandrasekhar.  If you find time also read "family, private propety and the State" - the works of Engel of 1884.  It throws light that in human evolution, how families came into existence, followed by the private property and the State's role in these relations.

"The questions here are not about hunky-dory families. Specious arguments on other family members etc are not applicable. Marriage today is about numbers. It is what it is-some refuse to see it!" Mr. Bhalla. I understand the difference between "what it is" and "what ought to be". For that matter you also need things to change, you have a perception of "what ought to be" and you show a strong urge to enforce it too. So you are here arguing, debating with people. To think of "what ought to be" is everyone's right not your right alone. So if there are many people who think "what ought to be" should be favoring women, we have no right to question that. They are in majority, we are living in a democracy so their view will prevail. You have a right to agitate, educate people. You are doing. You can do it. So can others. To say that one view of "ought to be" is useless than other is not correct. From their point of view their "ought to be" is correct like from your point of you your "ought to be" appears correct to you. Hope you understood.

Originally posted by :chandrasekhar.7203@ gmail.com
"	"The questions here are not about hunky-dory families. Specious arguments on other family members etc are not applicable. Marriage today is about numbers. It is what it is-some refuse to see it!" Mr. Bhalla. I understand the difference between "what it is" and "what ought to be". For that matter you also need things to change, you have a perception of "what ought to be" and you show a strong urge to enforce it too. So you are here arguing, debating with people. To think of "what ought to be" is everyone's right not your right alone. So if there are many people who think "what ought to be" should be favoring women, we have no right to question that. They are in majority, we are living in a democracy so their view will prevail. You have a right to agitate, educate people. You are doing. You can do it. So can others. To say that one view of "ought to be" is useless than other is not correct. From their point of view their "ought to be" is correct like from your point of you your "ought to be" appears correct to you. Hope you understood.	"

 Absolutely:

Like I said-as oppression continues agitation grows. People who are affected will continue to take action. If the steam that is building up is not taken care -then it will explode. When differences are strong enough societies will split. Each individual takes actions to preserve his/ her well being. Democracy is not a given. If democracy ceases to function chaos is not far off. Agreeing to disagree is a part of democracy.I agree on that point.

So when did so called 'Lord' Macaulay become the mouth piece of hindus? Do hindus/Indians think they are under colonial rule? It is condescending on the part of Macaulay to treat wives as such. In this, clearly Maccaulay treated hindu wives as a property to be pawned and used as required by her husband. And India takes pride in that? He could do that for 'Indian' wives as India was a colony, a slave nation. Were the same rules applied to British women and families of the time?

It is a pity that some even consider this colonial legacy as something good.

Adultery law must be changed to reflect individual responsibility. A iwfe is not a property-she is an adult-who has rights and responsibility. A wife involved in adultery, then, should be punishable. She is the one breaking the vow of marriage in a marriage. The same goes for  husband as well if he does that. That is equality.

The question of legality of prostitution is entirely different.. However, with the breakdown of marriages-there is a danger of increase in rapes etc. To prevent that, prostitution could be made legal.There are several reasons-pros and cons of whether to make prostituion legal. This is not a part of this discussion.

The colonial legacy on adultery is nothing to be proud off!

It is odd that Indian 'women's empowerment' are trying to make wives more than equal in areas where it is dangerous and leaves such colonial legacy intact?