Problems of divorced women to be shared here

All those who think women of present times hv ego:

1. Their sisters,bhua,masi , cousins are of present times r otherwise?
2. Sholud wife wash clothes even in fever while husband spends thousands on girl friend?
3. Should wife remain at peace wheil she was told before marriage false picture of boys qualification, income and prosperity??
4. Should she remain silent even if husband is drunkard, womaniser,gambler,incapable of making love, careless abt health etc etc.. 

and I can go on. There r bad women and bad men too. 

One must see individually in non partisan way and solve the issues before disaster. But everyone including couple, family and samaj ignore the issue or see in partisan way and then things r beyound control. And then the wife takes help of laws which r given to her rightfully but then delay devils and those who cud not see it happening cry foul. 

@Alok

# sisters,bhua,masi , cousins are of present times r otherwise?

#Sholud wife wash clothes even in fever while husband spends thousands on girl friend?

#Should wife remain at peace wheil she was told before marriage false picture of boys qualification, income and prosperity??

#Should she remain silent even if husband is drunkard, womaniser,gambler,incapable of making love, careless abt health etc etc.. 

1)If you are still safe from these terrorism then u cant comments about the 98% victims who had lost everything in these false cases. I pray to God that ur betterhalf shud never file false cases againest you,  old parents and brothers and sisters.

2)How u know that people in these forums r so cruel or enjoying wid gf. 

3) If boy had told some false thing then is the girl's neighbour will verify about the boy for her groom. what is the responsibilities of girl and their parents.

4) How do you think that people in this forum are drunkard, womaniser,gambler,incapable of making love, careless abt health etc etc

 I have visited ur webpage and consider you an intellectual, These type of generalisation of people is really painful Mr Alok tolkiya.

Its better if we all concentrate on Mimi's real life experience and if any other similar type of experiences by our other members.

exactly...

this is what the thread was ACTUALLY discussing

Anonymous, same thing I ant to ask you?You got hurted with Alok 's reply?How can you generalise all  women here never obeyed those 10 points above?There are bad men as well as bad women also in this society.

"Anonymous, same thing I ant to ask you?You got hurted with Alok 's reply?How can you generalise all  women here never obeyed those 10 points above?There are bad men as well as bad women also in this society."

And one more thing;There are bald men too who are criticisng metro women now and then ,not all metro women are bad.

Just look up this link;

https://www.google.co.in/#sclient=psy-ab&hl=en&cr=countryIN&tbs=ctr:countryIN&source=hp&q=metro+women+%3Btajobs&pbx=1&oq=metro+women+%3Btajobs&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=184073l185986l4l186211l7l7l0l0l0l1l1414l3576l3-1.0.3.0.1l5l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&fp=cf1c0eaa45f95b7a&biw=1280&bih=699

https://www.indianexpress.com/news/179-men-caught-in-delhi-metro-womens-compa/826909/

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/Woman-jumps-in-front-of-Metro-dies/articleshow/11113557.cms

Dear Madam,

I am agree with  all your 8 points as i am facing all first 7 problems in my life due to divorce case .  Here i am expalining the same.

1) When i had done marraige disscussed frankly with my husband about my expectations and health etc,  as we all know that if the marriage will become fail, then in court cases women could not get proper justice, maintence, stridhan etc.  They have to wait years and years to gt justice and right.

2) During our dispute my Husband told me that  i will have to accept his all bad habits,  otherwise will have to wait years years in court for justice. As wife i will have to pay the big cost. So, i feel that due to IPC 498,  now some men are doing mental harrassment, which becomes  difficult for  women to prove 

3) After marraige i had resigned from my job and came to city of my Husband . Then after dispute  i came back to maternal home, and tried for job.  But  i  could not get good job in  pvt Ltd company due to my legal matter as it requires leaves .  So,  i  have only option to accept simple job and l to eave other benifits.

3) Before marraige i was doing job,   but i was staying with parents and  they were maintaining me.  But now my husband is earning appro.1 lac pm,  but court had passed order for Rs. 5000 pm, which is aslo my husband is not depositing in court regulary or in advance.  To recover it also i have to spend 1 year,  but till appro.8 month amount is due.

4) I am staying in town of one of the state of India and my husband is staying matropolitan city of other state and had filed Divorce petition. I had attended courts regulary for 2 years, and my relative had accomodate me in their home every month for 1 /2 days, as i had no job, done legal expenses myself  and stridhan was in custody of my Husband.   But court had not given me accomodation expenses as i could not submitt Hotel bills.  But if  there is no clear law to pay the travelling expenses at actual, How i can spend money in advance without any finacial support ?   In India  courts always  says that  to get  travelling  expenses and Rent women will have to submitt bills and rent receipt first/in advance .  But  there is no any essurance that  court will pay  the same at actaul.  There is no any guarantee in law,  so is the women will bear that loss?

5)  All my stridhan, from which mostly given by my parents in custody of my husband.  From the first day of court  i  am saying to the court and advocates that as per Hindu customs and laws stridhan should be given back to the wife  first.  Then appro. 25% of  husband's income should be given to wife  immedialty,  But since last 3 years stridhan is in custoday of my  husband and  court had given me 5% maintence of My Husands income, after 3 years.  So, women like me how can maintain herselves? Here i want to point out that i found i am not alone there are thousands of court case where women are waiting for stridhan and  proper maintence since years and years.

7) If Govt /court is not in position to give right to the women like me then after divorce or saparation how  women can make  demand from her  brothers/parents  for  their right as daugher?  If i will do sattlement without any amount is my brother or father will  not raise question why i had not given fight against my Husband? 

8) Before marraige both men and women knows very well about finacial condition of each other . So, Rich men also not can say that his wife had done marraige for money or property.  If any men says the same i will say he dont have sense.

9) when my marraige was fixed all  relatives of  both sides were present . when disput raised no one was came to solve or discuss the dispute.

10) After coming back to maternal home, due to my social relations, everybody asking me about my family problem and  As they know me very well and  i am hearing bad opinion  from my relatives, friends or society  about my husband,  i feel very bad and shame for my husband. 

11) Like the other divorcee women,  it  is  not easy  for me to do remarriage.  Also,  due to legal matter i feel mentally very tired, and lost my confidence.

12) Advocates are not taking proper interest . Most of the advocates are not  interested in case and could not understand  feelings of women .  They are mostly interested in  fees only, and in India compare to men women are always financially weak.  So, Husbands can give big offers to advocates for case.

13) In  this new era also till the condition of divorcee women is not good.  They have to face bad experices in there surrounding and workplaces.

14) I was working before the marraige and was staying in home of father. But  during the case court say to submitt  the receipt of rent and not given be Hose rent to me .  So,  now again i have to stay with parents.  So, is it not duty of my husband to give me Home ?  

I am very strong lady and giving big foight against our law and system, however  i have to face all this situation,  so how the women will come in court to get justice if law itself is only "for the men, of the men and by the men"

Is there any approved sensors awailable of divoce/maintence cases in india ? 

Society categorize divorcee/separated women..she is  very good if she silently bears all  atrocities over her..she becomes a bi*ch on the very day she takes legal help for except her own blood relations...

she is denied to give a place for rent

or somebody of opposite se* becomes to caring..when  she refuses that care then he joins the hater's group.

One woman files cases, all other men/in-laws of other families surrounding her become cautious...all they start to hate that lady for showing the legal way to their distressed wives/Daughter in law.

This is bitter truth and girls fear to get married because of that.

That is why in India many girls are killed before they r born or r just born.

@All

please dont be so depressed...

the dowry law and the DV law can really help...its just that the lawyers intentionally misguide to prolong the case as the longer the case runs...the more fees they charge...

lets us all discuss everybody's case here and help each other...and before you post your queries or questions, plz be mentally prepared for critcism and blunt judgements from so many others...

@aparna

you had been travelling for your divorce case for 2 years...why?  you could have got the case transfered to your place...anywayz..i assume the hearings have already started and theres nothing much that can be done now...if not..you can do that atleast now...

@Aparna

As per going your posts in forum and experts..it looks like your advocate is misguiding you..

1) File Transfer petiton to run the case in your area.

2) File also Petition in court praying for expenses to bear by your Husband for Processing Charges, Find relevent details with other lawyers, speak as many as lawyers possible on this.

3) As you posted Query in Experts section, Challenge the Lower court order in HIgher court.

If your case is Genuine and True, you will go through...........
 

Incidently, gone through all the above posts. I can only say, Alas, my estranged wife & her father could have seen these posts & learned some thing from others experiences. But some time unsuspecting daughters are completely dominated by their father's vicious thinking. who will fully poision her thinking process and uses her as milking cow. She does not realize it until it is too late & game is over. It is a sick mentality of some father's. They will use all sorts of lies. By the time the girl realizes the real situation, already time had passed / gone. Nothing can be reversed. I am sure,  many people are lying here too. But it is upto you/ upto your wisdom, whether to take it or leave it. So simple.

Marriage is a shared responsibility & both side parents have to contribute positively to normalize the situation. Normalisation or reconciliation is also the responsibilty of both sides. Some mature & reasonable ones will understand, others will not. Good thread, touching the raw nerve.

Regards

Yes, Mr. Zameer. in my case initially my advocate had not present my case properly in court. But i want to say due to family court i myself had done very strong arguments. You will be surprised i am not advocate but i am educated and made very well preparation for arguments and referred various judgments and submitted all strong evidences, however court had done very serious mistakes in my orders. I want to say that initially i was fighting against my Husband for justice and my right, because to save relations i had done strong efforts, but he had neglected me. Actually He is not interested to maintain matrimonial relations. But now i feel that compare to my husband i will have to give strong fight against our system and stupid laws. Because i observed that in India laws are multidimensional and each person can get meaning as per their wish. During my case I came to know about so many women, and about their cases, who are facing same problems like me., and they had given me inspiration to give fight for justice against our law not against my Husband.

@Dear aparna9999

9999 ke baad 0 !!!!

my advocate had not present my case properly in court. 

You will be surprised i am not advocate but i am educated and made very well preparation for arguments and referred various judgments and submitted all strong evidences, however court had done very serious mistakes in my orders. ........He is not interested to maintain matrimonial relations................

Remember,There is no law which comple to husband or wife to join matrimonial life.

.........they had given me inspiration to give fight for justice against our law  not against my Husband.

You criticise your husband 

You criticise your lawyer.   

You criticise the court         

You criticise the law

Better keep faith in yourself,judiciary,law and come out from the emotions.

Court does not deliver Justice on sentiments and emotions .

Law protect those who protect it and destroy those who destroy it.

 "But now my husband is earning appro.1 lac pm,  but court had passed order for Rs. 5000 pm, which is aslo my husband is not depositing in court regulary or in advance.  To recover it also i have to spend 1 year,  but till appro.8 month amount is due."

Its time ,you should change your lawyer.Zameer is right Your lawyer is misguiding you.Much of your time,energy,money wasted.

madam,

1)Are you working?

2)You said you were educated and could even defend yourself in court etc

3) You railed and whined about your husband and judiciary etc.

You said your husband earns 1 lakh and give syou 5000 in maintenance.

My questions:

1) Have you attempted to take a job? Your husband still works and earns-why aren't you since you are educated?

2) You could even take up a law degree and be a lawyer to support yourself and help others (although I very much doubt that!). You are after easy money that is all. Someone has to tell that the emperor has no clothes!

3) Women want emancipation, freedom, rights etc-all at the cost of men. You still whine???

And you dare rail against court and husband? What is your contribution to marriage other than nagging and whining and attempted extortion?

We have been nice to these women for too long-let them taste 'the real equality'-which means, you are responsible equally as the man, for you to acquire similar rights! Men tend to jump up and down when women shed crocodile tears and while-it is probably ingrained. Men have to shed that! Women want equality in 'rewards' not the responsibility.