Hello,
Married to money/self oriented girl. Having qualification more than me.
I got married almost 1 year back and it was arranged marriage. Our commitment stayed for more than a year before marriage. It was good time except 1-2 occassion regarding the things to be done during marriage. My in laws didn't want to give anything to her daughter in marriage. But due to social pressure from our side, we asked them to give something. They gave some household things during marriage but on marriage day her relatives again & again told my parents that we have given so many things in marriage to you. According to their society's rule, we gave them 5k during marriage which they earlier told that will give back. But they didn't give back later on. So, there was some bad feeling in both parent's mind.
On the day, when they came to our house, quarrel happened between my relatives & hers.
Keeping this in back of her mind, my in laws started pouring bad things about us in my wife's ears.
After marriage, my parents wanted her to stay at our house so that she can learn things(cooking & all, I was staying in a differnt state). She called her parents and started crying that she doesn't want to stay.
Later on she stayed for 1 week at my parent's home but during those days, everyday she used to quarrel with me saying you left me here like naukrani and u enjoying there.
She started harrassing me from that time onwards. After coming to place where I work, she didn't even talk to my parents. She took back any money she has spent on her/houselhod things, even some 20-30 rs. also.
Everyday she talked to her mother for half hour. More than with me everyday.
After 6 months or so she got a job. I was not agreed with her to take job as it was not related to her qualificatin. She told me she wants to earn money. After her job started, much worst period of my life started.
She always tells me that I got tired of work. After sometime, she had to go to hospital and there was 10-20k around bill. I was not having money at that time as I was saving money for taking the house. Though I told her that you have good enough amount in your account. This time you spend it. I used to pay for everything she wanted. Her bike, its petrol, all household things, rent, her beauty parlor everything. If sometimes, she spent any money, she took it back from me saying I am your responsibility you should spend money, so give my money back. Manytimes she told me that I'll go to my parent's house and will give u divorce.
Later on, she started ignoring going to my homeplace. Always she started to tell that my boss is not giving me any leave. We din't go to homeplace at rakhi, our first diwali also.
When she used to talk to my parents and if my parents/sisters asked her hw is job search going on. She used to quarrel saying that your relatives are money minded.
Around 3 months back, she went to our hometown (we are from same place). I told her to go to my homeplace, but she told that I will not go. Started telling that I am afraid that your parent will kill me. But she didn't go to my place. I stopped picking her phone for 1 whole day.
She called my friends (she wanted to book tickets for coming back that is why she was calling me). I talked to her on my friend's cell. During call she threatened me saying that I will not keep a foot in your homeplace. I am taking kasam same to my mother that I will not put a foot at your homeplace. I and my parents are going to lawyers and now will see eachother in court. I will come back there with my father and will take all my luggage and will go and stay with my friend. Her mother also threatened to give divorce.
On the second day, she didn't pick my phone. So, I thought she is firm on her decision.
I told my parents what happened. They were very shocked to hear this.
When she came back, she came alone. So, I told her that you threatened me so please shift to other place as you said. She told I have no place to stay. I left that house and started staying at my friend's place. I took the jewellery that we gave to her and gave things that she/her parents gave to me.
For one week, we talked on phone and everytime she told bad thing about me, my parents, my sisters.When we met her & her parents. She talked very mannerlessly to my father.
She wanted to stay at that place and wanted me to pay rent of that place (I had to pay rent for staying at my friend's house also). I told her to find another place as she was staying alone here by herself, also landlord din't know her and would not let her live there alone. landlord doesn't know her at all.
Her parents came and take her to other place in same city. She din't tell me where is she staying. She took two wheeler with her.
After one week, she posted on FaceBook that she watched movie and enjoyed good food. I felt very bad that she is enjoying the separation.
Now, we have decided to give divorce to her.
Please advice me how to approach for it.
