Assalamu Alaykum, Dear Law or Islamic Scholars, I am 30 year old muslim male from middle class family. Its 2 years now i am married and we have a baby boy.
I am writing to seek Allah's mercy and unriskful-best procedure for marrying second.
This decision was taken by me after suffering lot and waiting long for my first wife to come back to me.
Today its 16 months my wife left me alone in house taken on rent in bangalore. She is not coming back, I went to take her back once to her house, once till her house and many more times to her town. Every time i called and messaged her saying i have come to take you with me. Whenever she comes to know i have come to take her. She neither picks up my call nor reply to my messages.
She use to dominate, argue, quarrel lot since our engagement and the day she was leaving to her house, she made it very big issue including her all elders to fight, say slangs and threaten my innocent parents.
I visited alone to her house after a couple of months to take her back, but she had made everyone against me, her brother faught with me saying rubbish language, he pushed me multiple times to fight, he raised table to hit me, Her mother scolded and alleged me in all ways, Her father misbehaved and threatened(Dhamki) me, Her relatives came raising sleaves to hit me. All i was doing with discipline, was making them to understand i had always taken care of her taking all pain by myself, she is a lier and intern she use to harrass me physically and mentally. On my repeated asking to come back she clearly said she will not come. They insulted me very badly, i had to come back disappointed crying internally.
She went her home during very first month of her pregnency on saying she is not feeling comfort and getting vomits, her father and brother both promised she will be back in 15 days, Though a month before she went, she already had been her home staying one month and i was dieing here; Still for her and baby sake i permitted her to go her home as her mother denied to come to my house to provide support and care to her single daughter on her first pregnency (My mother was a school teacher in other town, she couldn't come), I requested her mother to let her be here with me atleast to see her face but all gone vain infront of their force(Hatdharmi). There has always been practice of her to go her home either saying she is missing her parents or her parents saying they are missing their daughter. In both aspect i had always suffered, As she use to stay there every time for 15 days to one month. No employee can do Up and Down every week travelling 10 hours and that too compramising train reservations.
I don't want to divorce her but still they are blaming us and trying to put domestic violation and dowry case.
Her father is bit in politics and said, i can do whatever i can, i can make him badly beatenup by police.
Her father said, He will take care of baby and he will marry her another.
In fifth month of her left my house, her brother sent a roudy at our house to threaten us.
These all disputes had made bad effect on my work, The work of 8 hours i had to do in 11 hours always overtiming.
She knows very well i have greater libido, She made me to suffer always when she was with me by refusing my touch to her and pushing me off bed from her legs, She still makes me to suffer lot and lot being away from me. Her problem is she has almost no libido and more affection towards her parents and their richness. She is a big home-sick.
Now after 16 months, Even if she want to come back, She wants to come on Conditions which are no more acceptable by any human and any husband in place of mine.
We only always initiated re-bonding of this relation. We still are approaching them by some or other person to have relation re-bonded. But they are not responding well, They are not coming to have atleast final talk. They are making us to struggle/suffer and roam around them to have their false pride continued.
We have already told them manytimes and i personally told her on phone that if she is not back I will marry another, And she said "OK" in joyous tune
After second marriage i want to keep both wives together, if first one is coming back to me, If she don't - I want to keep baby with me.
Dear reader, I tried to breif here as much i can, But wounds are very deep i can't put all here and all in words
I have few questions, Your answers would be most and most appreciated.
Some people say me:
1. For marrying second Needs permission from Kaazi, if he denies i can't marry another or atleast he will not help me in further issues
Note: Our town's kaazi is currupted guy
Please let me know what is all practicle procedure at Kaazi ?
2. For marrying second Needs permission from First wife, if she denies i can't marry another
Please let me know what is in my case, And what all procedure i have to follow at her end ?
3. While doing or after second marriage, My first wife and her pople can trouble me
Please let me know can they put Polygamy, Adultery, Domestic Violation, Dowry cases on us ?
If yes, Please let me know how can i be safe from all above allegations ?
4. My first wife can ask for My half salary and half property
Please let me know do i need to give her something or maintainence ?
Please feel free to reach me at raytohorizon-green@yahoo.co.in
