Hello Respected Lawers,
Came to know about this thread a bit late... but i think better late than never... i have gone through most of the threads on this forum and have gathered all the basic information... pls pour in your views as to what should be my future course of action...
My story goes like this… I was married in Dec-12 to a girl whose family we had known for quite some time. Both the families are putting up in Jalandhar and I have been working in Delhi. Since the two families knew each other, we insisted that the marriage may not be an extravagant affair. We also specifically mentioned that we do not need anything in the marriage since I had already taken a house in Delhi (on rent) and had furnished it with all the necessary items from the money used from my account (all the transactions took place from my account) where no money was credited apart from my salary.
After marriage, staying with my parents in Jalandhar for a couple of days, we went to Mauritius for Honeymoon, the charges for which again were borne completely by me from my salary account. After honeymoon, we directly came to Delhi where I started with my job. My wife did not have the job at the point in time (though she got one in Jun-13). After a few days, she started picking fights on petty things. These were not only plain verbal fights but she also became physical in those fights. She used to hit and abuse me. When I responded in the same way she complained to her family members telling them about my aggressive nature. This happened a couple of more times after which both the families sat together and we were told not to get aggressive in fights and my wife was categorically asked to control her aggressive abusive behavior. My parents even told me that even if she hits me, I should refrain from hitting her back and rather try to hold her hands.
However, her violent streak continued. In nice times I asked her the reason for her aggressive nature to which she replied that in school, she was s*xually abused by a teacher because of which whenever some argument starts she tends to become aggressive. She also gave her high degree of thyroid as another reason (she is taking a 50mg tablet every day to control thyroid) for her mood swings. She also disclosed that this was the reason she is not very comfortable with men and also had physical relations with a girl during her college days. I was shocked to the core after hearing all this.
However, I consoled her and asked her to forget the past and try to control her anger as this was spoiling our present. I also offered her to attend a few sessions with a psychiatrist to which she declined after consulting with her parents.
Her violent streak continued and in one of the fights in Sept-13, she pushed me to the wall because of which the finger of my foot got broken and I remain in cast for three weeks. She apologized to me and promised that she won’t fight with me again and asked me not to tell it to anyone. In the interest of saving my marriage, I thought that this might be a small price to pay. For a couple of months she was OK, but again her aggressive behavior started. One night, in Dec-13, in front of her brother (who is working in an electronics company and had been staying with us for the past two weeks), she again picked up a small issue and started abusing and beating me. Since her brother did not refrain her from doing so, I apprehended threat to my life and took all my important stuff and left home.
Since then I never went back to the house and stayed with my friends in and around Delhi. Her parents, along with her came to our house in Jalandhar and asked me to go back to the house to which I declined saying that if she cannot change her aggressive nature, I cannot live with her.
After two weeks from our last meeting, we received a call from the CAW cell telling that a complaint has been filed by my wife against me and my family members alleging physical and mental harassment by us. They complained that we have been asking for dowry from them and have been beating my wife as our demands could not be satiated. Since then we have attended two sessions in the CAW cell. We are yet to receive a copy of the complaint (have applied for it in RTI, however, people there tell us that it takes atleast 1 month for the complaint to come). In the allegations verbally told to us, she has filed her complaint against me, my parents and my two brothers (one of whom is not even living in India and never came to India after my marriage) of domestic violence/ dowry, etc… (Physically and mentally harassing her for dowry). With regard to dowry, she has stated that a flat in Delhi was demanded by me and my family members (family members are staying in Jalandhar). Details of the complaint have not been disclosed to us. In the CAW cell meetings, we were asked that let bygones be bygones and what we wanted to do now. Both of us told the inspecting officer that we do not want to stay together. Subsequently, the I/o asked the girl to come with three copies of Istridhan and alimony that she thinks is suitable, in the next meeting (which is scheduled after one week from now) and we can go for mutual separation, if the money is agreeable to both the parties.
Now, the problems I am facing are:-
1. That she might quote an astronomical amount as settlement to which if we do not agree, she will take the case to the FIR stage.
2. Any possible way through which we can get access to the complaint copy soon, as this RTI thing is taking forever.
3. What is the minimum number of meetings that the CAW cell allows us to amicably resolve the issue. How many more meetings can we expect after the initial list of Istridhan is rejected by us (highly probable as this is obviously expected to be an abnormally high number). The I/o had told that this is going to be a long procedure as the process has just started.
4. How easy/tough it is to get notice bail/anticipatory bail for me, my parents and siblings on the basis of the complaint filed in the CAW cell (which we are yet to get our hands on). Just for the record, my parents and siblings have not been staying with us in Delhi. In the one year of our marriage, they came to visit us only twice and that too for a couple of days. We have visited them a few times in the last one year though. On the other hand, every now and then her parents/siblings have come to our house. Even when the last fight happened, her brother had been staying with us for the past two weeks. I think this fact will help in getting bail for my parents/siblings.
5. For the record, she has the keys to the locker, which we are maintaining in Delhi and which contains all the jewellery items which were given to her during/after marriage. I checked in the bank register and found she operated the locker a couple of days after our last fight and most likely she has taken all the items out. Can she claim those items also in the Istridhan list saying that those items are with us…?
6. Since the girl is just 27 years old and has no kid, what are the chances of her going into litigations and wasting her precious years in courts. Wouldn’t resettlement be on her/her parent’s mind. Also, the settlement amount that she can get after taking the proceedings to court might not be as attractive as she can get in the CAW cell.
7. What are the chances of her putting 498a/406/DV cases on us and leaving India. Any possible way through which we or the law can stop her from doing that.
Some facts I would like to mention:-
1. I had never taken any money from her or her parents. Post marriage, they offered me a couple of lacs in cash, saying that since they could not contribute to the furnishing of the house they wanted me to take the amount and put it in a joint account with my wife. I declined to their proposal. (You have to trust me on this as i strongly believe that a person should not lie when he is taking any medical or legal advice)
2. After marriage, I bought a car on loan, the down-payment for which was again made through my salary account. No amount credited in the account apart from my salary.
3. Me and my wife have just one joint account which has only 10k rupees (bare minimum required to open a locker). So she cannot claim that any money lying in our joint A/c was given as dowry. My wife got a job a couple of months back in Delhi, the salary (15K) of which is being saved by her (she gets salary in cash as she is yet to be confirmed at her job) as she did not contribute in the day to day household expenses. Moreover, she took 10k from me every month to meet her personal expenses. No proof of this though as i also used to give her money in cash.
4. Though I have left my rented house in Delhi but I have been paying the rent regularly. My wife and her parents (whenever they come to Delhi for CAW meetings) use the place (this might give you an idea how shameless these people are..
). Not that they cannot afford a decent hotel or something… these people are highly resourceful (my father-in-law is running a business in Jalandhar), influential people, which gives you an idea of the greed for money they have…
Request you to pour in your views on the issue and guide me as to what should be my future course of action and how should I manage things so that the damage is minimized (both financial and legal)…
Regards
