krishna (unemployed) 10 May 2013

Want suggestion and proper guide to live a life without fear

Hi,

I got married seven years back, lived 2-3 month with parents, and got separated living on rent.

I had a struggling life moving from early morning 4:00 am to 8:30 pm in evening. My wife was living whole day alone. She never cooked food in the morning nor provided a cup of tea. Starting I ignored as it seemed to be immmature or may be get few months to cope up. But nothing happened. After marriage every day her mother called her via phone when I return home and asked when she will be coming there. As my salary was 8000 PM and was payjng rent of 3000 PM it seems impossible to impossible to take her at her home which cost me 2000 per trip(to & fro) Than also I let go and took her twice a month.

After 1-2 years she was pregnant and I was happy to hear that we have a twin baby to be born. But she was unhappy. As later own 2-3 weeks foetus it was hard for her to live alone. So, I stopped going to office and manage to work from home with same source and also took care of her each and every thing.

At the time of birth (premature) I had a baby boy and baby girl. I was just wondering and happy that how much lucky I was have boy & girl. Due to some complication the baby boy was hospitalized for 20 days in NICU. She was unable to feed baby boy and was only taking care of baby girl. Her mother was also staying for 3-5 days. None of them had taken care of baby boy. Some how doctor manage to survive him and got recovered. I took botht he babies to home along with my wife and her mother. My parents were also there, but as bad behaviour of my wife and her mother they moved away.

After 1-2 days of discharged her mother had also run away from her. I was ultimately taking care and feeding 3 of them. As I was Postgrudate guy and very well aware of each adn every situation during pre/post pregnancy and child caring, I made mind to take care where I between the income source was dropped by me and had not source of income.

Her father and mother made continuous call and made my wife to move to their own home town. But I ignored saying that atleat look at the baby boy who needs a single doctor precription and monitoring. But they refuses and ignore several times. I manage they for 1.5 month atleast by saying that after 6 months of development of both babies she can leave for as many year as she want.

Instead of six days I go there after 5 days as on sixth day my babies had appointment to see doctor. But they ignored and said that she will not come. If you are such care taking for babies send their files so that we can treat babies at their hometown with another doctor. I told that that both are mutually 2 months old and just understand that changing doctors will effect both the health. But they did not care. I cried before them on that day and all the day for 2 months. She refused me to talk with me and just let her live alone.

Last I had seen my babies when they were 2 months and till date they are 2.5 years old and I had not yet seen their faces. I had continuously call my wife on the date of VACCINATION to take care, and go on date and time. I also told that I will come personally to take my babies to their local doctors. But she refused that there is no need of me to come. From that day I was not able to see my babies and her parents also fired me that if I will go to their house he will break my bones.

I let go every thing and started thinking that some day she will get mature and will understand the situation. But it got worse. As the firing started I started recording every calls for my security purpose and discussion with my wife. One day she demanded for divorce as well. I said her to calm down and rethink. But she told that she will go till SUPREME COURT if I do not give her divorce. Later after few month she stated that she want to come back. I only demanded that atleast withdrawn you blame and claim on me for dowry in caste, I will be there on the second day itself. But not reply. I moved to my home with her brother one day and stated that she would lived as we lived early. But as now I was awared that she just came back to prove that I had tourtured her when I kept her for few days and she ran away back to her home. So, I ignored and told her a fix date to bring all person who were inbetween for 6 days settlement and her parents, give me in written how she was living, how she want to live with me now onward and how I had treated. As I had no income source on that day. On the given date neither she or her parent approach to me nor come to my place. They made call by another unknown person who asked what I have to do. I told that person that if she or her parents are not serious and does not want to come to solve why are you worrying about them. After few days she send me a notice by advocate stating that I HAD FORCED HER TO GO TO THEIR PARENTS HOME TO STAY, SO HER MOTHER AND BROTHER HAD TAKEN HER FROM MY HOME AND FROM THAT DAY TO TILL DATE I HAD NEITHER TAKEN RESPONSIBILITIES AS FATHER OR HUSBAND. I HAD TORTURING HER MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DEMANDING DOWRY FROM HER PARENTS AND SEND FREQUENTLY TO HER PARENTS FOR DOWRY. KINDLY TAKE HER WITH 10 DAYS WITH TWO OTHER PERSON OTHERWISE SHE WILL MOVE TO THE COURT FOR ALIMONY AND DOWRY CASE. ALSO WRONG BLAME THAT I HAD TAKEN ALL HER THINGS AWAY.

I was literally shocked with it and had no words in my mouth to say.

Kindly let me know what to do in such situation.

DOES SHE WILL FILE CASE AGAINST MY PARENT ALSO.

DOES SHE HAVE ANY RIGHT ON MY PARENT PROPERTY.

DOES MY PARENT WILL BE IN JAIL AT THE AGE OF 70-75 YEARS

DOES MY BROTHER WHO WAS LIVING SEPARETLY WILL BE IN JAIL.

HOW CAN I SEE IF SHE PUTS MY OLD AGED PARENT AND BROTHER IN JAIL ALSO.

IF I WENT AND TAKE HER WITH ME, WHAT SHOULD I DO IF SHE RAN AGAIN TO LOCAL POLICE STATION OR HER PARENTS HOME FILING CASE THAT I HAD TOURTURED HER.

I HAD BEEN HORRIBALY MENTALLY DISTURED WITH ALL THINGS AND AT PRESENT NO SOURCE OF INCOME IS ALSO THERE.

KINDLY GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS AND WAY ROUND TO TACKLE IT AFTER DEEP STUDIES.

I am very much disturbed.

Please help me and give me suitable reply with this.

Regards.

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2 Replies

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Originally posted by : krishna

Hi,

I got married seven years back, lived 2-3 month with parents, and got separated living on rent.

Living separate is a good thing esp for your parentage.

I had a struggling life moving from early morning 4:00 am to 8:30 pm in evening. My wife was living whole day alone.

Your struggle is just on paper.

She never cooked food in the morning nor provided a cup of tea.

You should have complained to your mother in law and father in law.

Starting I ignored as it seemed to be immmature or may be get few months to cope up. But nothing happened.

That is the mistake you did.

After marriage every day her mother called her via phone when I return home and asked when she will be coming there.

Should have told sternly to mother in law, lay off old lady, dont poke into my family. Which of course you did not do.

As my salary was 8000 PM and was payjng rent of 3000 PM it seems impossible to impossible to take her at her home which cost me 2000 per trip(to & fro) Than also I let go and took her twice a month.

All these difficulties ie finacial, you should have discussed with your wife.

After 1-2 years she was pregnant and I was happy to hear that we have a twin baby to be born.

Inspite of you knowing how could you shower love on her that tooo double?? Keeping in mind what love she showered on you and your parentage.

But she was unhappy.

Why was she unhappy?

As later own 2-3 weeks foetus it was hard for her to live alone.

So delivery did not happen, by crooked means you came to know you will have double love blessings, which is illegal according to law, knowing what is inside the female.

So, I stopped going to office and manage to work from home with same source and also took care of her each and every thing.

That is so very commendable effort from your side.

At the time of birth (premature) I had a baby boy and baby girl.

Congratulations on that.

I was just wondering and happy that how much lucky I was have boy & girl.

Due to some complication the baby boy was hospitalized for 20 days in NICU.

Sad for you,

She was unable to feed baby boy and was only taking care of baby girl.

Her mother was also staying for 3-5 days. None of them had taken care of baby boy.

But where were your parents and you in all of this??? Is it not a responsibility of you basically to take care of the new borns?

Some how doctor manage to survive him and got recovered. I took botht he babies to home along with my wife and her mother.

My parents were also there,

Finally your parents appear out of nowhere.!!

but as bad behaviour of my wife and her mother they moved away.

What bad behavior???

After 1-2 days of discharged her mother had also run away from her.

I was ultimately taking care and feeding 3 of them. As I was Postgrudate guy and very well aware of each adn every situation during pre/post pregnancy and child caring, I made mind to take care where I between the income source was dropped by me and had not source of income.

So you are an medical intern?

Her father and mother made continuous call and made my wife to move to their own home town.

Why they did so? Perhaps as your parents were not there to look after the newborns.{just assuming}

But I ignored saying that atleat look at the baby boy who needs a single doctor precription and monitoring. But they refuses and ignore several times. I manage they for 1.5 month atleast by saying that after 6 months of development of both babies she can leave for as many year as she want.

Good decision.

Inbetween in my sister marriage we moved for few days to my parents house and after my sister marriaged she started firing and being cruel to me as well as my babies ignoring them to feed milk as well as saying to go to police station etc. On such situation all the elder person of her side agreed to send her for minimum 6 days where her parents will take her with babies and I need to go after six days to take her again to my home.

Instead of six days I go there after 5 days as on sixth day my babies had appointment to see doctor. But they ignored and said that she will not come. If you are such care taking for babies send their files so that we can treat babies at their hometown with another doctor. I told that that both are mutually 2 months old and just understand that changing doctors will effect both the health. But they did not care. I cried before them on that day and all the day for 2 months. She refused me to talk with me and just let her live alone.

Did you check DNA results?

After 2-3 month they filed a local notice in our caste head that I had been cruel to her and demanded dowry from her parents which was totally wrong. The caste head started firing me that they will take legal action and make me imprisonment etc etc. Lot of different higher level person call me and made me mentally harresement where my life become horrible and I was not able to get a single job nor I can work properly at any place for 4-10 days atleast. I got full distress and harressed as well. I started ignoring her calls and also I approached to my parents. My parents asked the elder person who were inbetween for sending 6 days to solve the matter and kindly take back the wrong blame on me. They also ignored and almost after 1-1.5 years on my wife sister marriage they call me to attend the occassion, as there was blame on me I was not in situation to attend the occassion.

Last I had seen my babies when they were 2 months and till date they are 2.5 years old and I had not yet seen their faces. I had continuously call my wife on the date of VACCINATION to take care, and go on date and time. I also told that I will come personally to take my babies to their local doctors. But she refused that there is no need of me to come. From that day I was not able to see my babies and her parents also fired me that if I will go to their house he will break my bones.

The way you are projecting things, your wife is not interested in looking after the babies, yours or not is secondary, primary, it will become an ground for divorce and further custody rights if you can manage the babies

I let go every thing and started thinking that some day she will get mature and will understand the situation. But it got worse.

As the firing started I started recording every calls for my security purpose and discussion with my wife.

Good decision.

One day she demanded for divorce as well.

If you have recording for it [VDO or Audio], keep it safe, and you can give it to court.

I said her to calm down and rethink.

But she told that she will go till SUPREME COURT if I do not give her divorce.

Give her divorce. As simple as that.

Later after few month she stated that she want to come back.

Inconsistency of words, ask her what she actually wants. Divorce or cohabitation????

I only demanded that atleast withdrawn you blame and claim on me for dowry in caste, I will be there on the second day itself. But not reply. I moved to my home with her brother one day and stated that she would lived as we lived early. But as now I was awared that she just came back to prove that I had tourtured her when I kept her for few days and she ran away back to her home. So, I ignored and told her a fix date to bring all person who were inbetween for 6 days settlement and her parents, give me in written how she was living, how she want to live with me now onward and how I had treated. As I had no income source on that day. On the given date neither she or her parent approach to me nor come to my place. They made call by another unknown person who asked what I have to do. I told that person that if she or her parents are not serious and does not want to come to solve why are you worrying about them.

All these wont count. Will be a waste of time running behing pillars.

After few days she send me a notice by advocate stating that I HAD FORCED HER TO GO TO THEIR PARENTS HOME TO STAY, SO HER MOTHER AND BROTHER HAD TAKEN HER FROM MY HOME AND FROM THAT DAY TO TILL DATE I HAD NEITHER TAKEN RESPONSIBILITIES AS FATHER OR HUSBAND. I HAD TORTURING HER MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DEMANDING DOWRY FROM HER PARENTS AND SEND FREQUENTLY TO HER PARENTS FOR DOWRY. KINDLY TAKE HER WITH 10 DAYS WITH TWO OTHER PERSON OTHERWISE SHE WILL MOVE TO THE COURT FOR ALIMONY AND DOWRY CASE. ALSO WRONG BLAME THAT I HAD TAKEN ALL HER THINGS AWAY.

Her main requirement is money. Ask her how much she wants. For full and final settlement.

People like these are only in for money and not for leading family life.

I was literally shocked with it and had no words in my mouth to say.

Kindly let me know what to do in such situation.

DOES SHE WILL FILE CASE AGAINST MY PARENT ALSO.

Yes.

DOES SHE HAVE ANY RIGHT ON MY PARENT PROPERTY.

Yes if it is co-owned by you..

DOES MY PARENT WILL BE IN JAIL AT THE AGE OF 70-75 YEARS

If she files a 498a the definitely yes unless you get a anticipatory bail in advance for your parents and yourself.

DOES MY BROTHER WHO WAS LIVING SEPARETLY WILL BE IN JAIL.

All relatives who are named in the chargesheet of 498a ie the dowry case even if they are in any part of the world, they will be behind bars, for sure. unless there is AB already for all of them.

HOW CAN I SEE IF SHE PUTS MY OLD AGED PARENT AND BROTHER IN JAIL ALSO.

What to see? If you dont get AB ie anticipatory bail then what is there to see? Including you all will be behind bars until you get a bail, unless you dont secure a AB in advance and such AB is valid for only 1 month.

IF I WENT AND TAKE HER WITH ME, WHAT SHOULD I DO IF SHE RAN AGAIN TO LOCAL POLICE STATION OR HER PARENTS HOME FILING CASE THAT I HAD TOURTURED HER.

Dont go to take her. If you are going, first go to police station or women cell, stating that you are wanting to take her back, and police assist you. But that will be as good as comiting sucide. Think and take a step.

I HAD BEEN HORRIBALY MENTALLY DISTURED WITH ALL THINGS AND AT PRESENT NO SOURCE OF INCOME IS ALSO THERE.

These things will go on. Find a job live life.

KINDLY GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS AND WAY ROUND TO TACKLE IT AFTER DEEP STUDIES.I am very much disturbed.

No point in getting disturbed, contact good lawyer. that is the only way out.

Please help me and give me suitable reply with this.

Regards.