Why relationships fail?
Relationship: A state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection).
What will keep a relationship alive especially that of a husband and wife?
1. Being there for each other.
2. Doing minimum things for each other with expecting minimum things in return.
3. Having good s*xual relationship.
4. Decorum/ minimum respect for the relationship.
5. A check on gratitude quotient.
6. A check on Conscience quotient.
Without the last two i.e. gratitude and conscience no matter how much a spouse puts in, it won’t have any value.
I keep reading many a queries where people don’t know why things went wrong inspite of they giving a 100% to the relationship. Baffled? Look again; does your partner ever demonstrate these two main ingredients required for the functioning of any relationship? I bet he or she would not have. A puppy wags its tail if you pat on its back, is that called love? Yes it is, you show care and affection, it shows back the same.
Maximum number of matrimonial disputes and we blame it on lawyers and advocates? Not fair. They are here to do business and earn their livelihood and we just feed them because we have lost two important things,
1. Gratitude.
2. Conscience.
2. Decorum. Decorum is very essential for any relationship to be successful. No decorum it will be a kite in a hurricane or a la kati patang. Nobody either of the spouses won’t know where the relationship is headed to. A fixed routine as to daily activities, going out, taking the other spouse out, taking kids out, going to places of worship, respecting elders all these form the needed decorum for the relationship.
Even if a couple has both gratitude for each other and a conscience in working condition, without decorum, the relationship is bound to look like a joke. Decorum is very essential.
Why one feels betrayed? Coz one’s expectations are not met. Is it wrong to expect? Absolutely not. One ought to expect a certain decency, a certain amount of love and affection, a certain amount of gratitude from the other person for the things that they do for that person. Some people argue that “one should not expect anything from anyone” but if that is so, what is the point of being in any relationship? Be it, Live-in, Marriage, parental, friendship etc. We are in a relationship only because we want something out of that relationship, otherwise there is no point in being in that relationship.
Most marriages fail, most live-in relationship fail, most friendships fail due to lack of decorum, respect, a sense of gratitude and zero conscience.
I see many a men and women who have been married three times or more, one might feel like laughing looking at them. But they are actually because of lack of the above. They won’t be finding importantly gratitude, and there won’t be decorum in the relationship, and more importantly there will be no conscience.
It’s not that there are no more people with the above left, there are. But it’s like finding a good lawyer/good partner.
Only if people develop a sense of good conscience, gratitude and maintain a sense of decorum, will relationships succeed and we will have less work for Family Courts.
