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unknown   26 November 2015

Forcefully engaged

Im stuck in a situation where Im forced to get engaged by my whole family without my consent, to a girl whom I dont like ( Its not about the looks only. ) there are several reasons. I do not have any other affair. My family forced me to get engaged to this girl beacuse they had promise the other party telling them that I will not deny to whatever decision they take. They threatened me to kill me or themselves as it was a matter of their ( both parties ) repuation in society and thier promise. They said humne zubaan di h samaj me rehna h, krni to pdegy engagement vrna hum marr jaenge, dada dadi etc etc sbko maar dega tu mana krk.. I had no choice. I also tried to make it clear to the other party that I dont want this enegement to take place, I even told her, her brother and mother that neither Im mentally prepared nor Im financially stable to bear her, her dad offered me to pay every month even if I dont earn a single penny. His words was " beta tum ek ruppee bhi na kamao to hume problem nhi h, me dunga pese har month" to which I clearly denied. I tried to run away from home, but my father threatened to kill me if I do so, he said, " mene 30 saal me izzat hi kamai h, izzat pyaari h bht chahe tujhe maarna pde" to which my grandparents didnt reacted and said, "gusse me bola hoga". I couldnt escape, though I tried to run away even on the day of engament but couldn't succeed, and again they threatened to kill themselves if I refuse to get engaged, I clearly told them that I would oppose this in front of the whole attendees, but I was threatened and could speak and was forced to get engaged, I know they wouldn't have killed themselves, but I was much more concerned about my life. Now the problem with me is that Im engaged forcefully to a girl whom I dont even like, I cant even think of spending a minute with her ( don't know why, I just don't feel like doing so ) niether Im desperate to have s*x on the name of marriage. The thing that made it worst is that the girl belongs to a judge family, and moreover the native place is "bharatpur, India" even if I marry the girl to defend my life, I see a devastating future. On the other hand, India has a law that mostly favors the women, but its not a gal who is victimized every time. A guy an also be a victim. I am totally broken and left with no option, please help.



Learning

 10 Replies

Markandeya raju   26 November 2015

It's ur life u make decisions.. Nobody wants to be pin pointed because of suggestions. If u were not interested to get married then why did u agree for engagement. Nothing kind of force man don't be stupid. If parents forced u to get engaged then u follow them. Then why ru thinking at this point. Whatever it's ur life think twice.

Markandeya raju   26 November 2015

It's ur life u make decisions.. Nobody wants to be pin pointed because of suggestions. If u were not interested to get married then why did u agree for engagement. Nothing kind of force man don't be stupid. If parents forced u to get engaged then u follow them. Then why ru thinking at this point. Whatever it's ur life think twice.

A walk alone (-)     27 November 2015

What r u doing? You are spoiling life's of your as well as her. If u dnt want to marry dnt marry . You might be in big trouble in future they are from judicial background . After marriage you and your family will run whole life in fighting legal battle or might to spend sometime in jail. Take some mature decision now be rigid not to marry in any situation instead of being emotional blackmail.

Mukesh sharma (job )     27 November 2015

hi i understand your problem but why you marry if you dont want to marry with this girl you are well eduacted person  you have owen right what you do in life tell your family very clear why they forse to you for this marriage talk with them as you tell girl famiy belong to judge when any problem in your life they make your life hell  take your owen decision and move on its your life you free to how to live if your family not listen your than you also help police but run from home no solution any problem fight with problem 

unknown   27 November 2015

I ve tried every possible way to convince them, I even told them that I wont even have physical intimacy after marriage with this girl, but dont know how orthodox these people are. I even tried to tell the situation to girl's family and told the girl as well, but she said, "time k sath sb adjust ho jaega". No girl can be so stupid that even after listening a clear no she will agree to marry. They are still saying that now we cannot step back as its a matter of thr reputation. I mean they arent concerned about a life being spoiled, I made it very clear that I m not at all happy and will not be happy in my entire life if things are not resolved, but they said thr ijjat and name is on top of my life. They said no one had denied thr decisions till now and if I do so then they may face a problem in finding right match for my cousins etc. I want to ask you that what if I run away after engagement? Is thr any law that can be applied on me by the girl's side? Im least concerned about my family at this point of tume as they have done everything to put me in this situation where I have no option left except suicide, which is tough for me. I am thinking to run away frm home, but m only worried about legal proceedings on me if caught.   Kindly suggest.

Mukesh sharma (job )     27 November 2015

hi run from home and suicide its not solution of any problem what you get both of them fight with problem than you get solution if you say girl say time ke sath sab set ho jayega than  theie seems some prob so you go to local police station and give application in police station tell them all this and if they dont take any action than you must file case in court and get protection you know our law give freedom to every person live life as he wish no ne interfare in this without good reason so you free to decide what you do no one tell you so go to local police station and get help 

unknown   27 November 2015

Sir I tried to explain every member that I dont want to marry this girl. But they are not at all listening to me. I have no option left. I can still survive if I run away from home but I am only worried about any legal case on me, if filled.

Mukesh sharma (job )     27 November 2015

hi  i understand your prob 

no need to affaird of any legal action if you go anywhere but why you run from your home i tell you you go police station and file application if they dont talke any action than you go in court  you get help but if you run from your home than you cant get anything  so plz be patience 

 

unknown   27 November 2015

Sir I dont want anything at this moment. I will survive even if I run away. I am ready to give up everything that belongs to me to save my future. I know even if I file a complaint to police, they will not do anything as the other party is a judge family and India is already full of corrupt people. 

A walk alone (-)     27 November 2015

First go police station and file complain that they are forcing me to marry as you have already engaged if you dnt marry or run away they might give you legal trouble forever. Go police station and say they are forcing me for marriage and giving or offering me dowry. Police will take care if you not marry her and if they file any case against you. Dnt marry if u dnt want . Dnt spoil life. Be mature.

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