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Shanti (Engineer)     10 November 2014

Living away from husband

Hi,

I am a working woman in Hyderabad. I am staying away from my husband from past 1.2 years.

Its been 2.8 months since we are married. Because of small disputes my husband left the home when we were abroad and came to INDIA.I tried to convience him on phone but didnt worked out.

Gradually I too moved back to INDIA.Though iam trying continuosly to talk to my husband, he is not lifting phone. I dont want to get seperated from my husband.I really love him alot.Couple of discussions happened between elders, but my husband family is not willing to accept me.Recently my husband would like to file divorce against me. Please give me some suggestion. I really dont want to miss my husband.

I truse some where INDIAN law allows to reunion the couple rather than seperation.Please advice.



Learning

 14 Replies

AS   10 November 2014

Admit your mistake and try to resolve issue.

Jayashree Hariharan (Advocate)     10 November 2014

as per indian law, since discussions have failed, you can file a case for restitution of conjugal rights, to rejoin your husband in case the court orders it. you can approach the mediation centre also to resolve the issue.

Sastry (Buisness man)     10 November 2014

you can file a RCR ( Restitution of Conjugal Rights ) petition in the court and then Court will try its best to resolve the disputes between you and your husband and the court might order your husband to come back and live with you.

Shanti (Engineer)     10 November 2014

Originally posted by : AS

Admit your mistake and try to resolve issue.

Hello sir,

I tried to admit my mistake several times.But still they are not in a good situation to understand me or trust me.

Since we both were working, because of ego and self respect had many minor disputes. and now my husband was not ready to accept me.

Shanti (Engineer)     10 November 2014

Can I file RCR even my husband file a divorce?

I still didnt receive any notice. But I have been notified that he will issue legal notice shortly...

Does RCR is a positive side of dealing the issue as my husband might get hurt if i register any case against him/

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     10 November 2014

I want to know that how much dowry he had taken as NRI.  How much money ur parents spent on the marriage.  Now, it has become gudda-guddi khel for him. Do not worry.  He can't get divorce.  But don't file RCR as he can use it for his advantage for divorce at later stage. If u are not employed, file maintenance case and this case starts with conciliation/mediation and there u try to amicably settle the quarrel and resume marriage life.  If u want reunion don't try any other case, especially s. 498A as it botch up ur efforts for reunion.

Shanti (Engineer)     10 November 2014

Hello sir,

He was not a NRI at the time of marriage. My parents have spent around 20 lakhs for marriage.

Actually I got a job in abroad and he came on dependent visa. U can imagine the ego issues at that point..

Even before going abroad, we used to work in different places and hence hardly we stayed for 4 months under one roof. The gap of staying away from each other resulted in many differences between us.

Later we went abroad and after 3 months of staying in my sister in law's house he returned to INDIA..

Sastry (Buisness man)     10 November 2014

I am not an advocate but based on my practical experiences and knowledge, I differ with what Adv. Chandrasekhar says. There is more possibility for your husband to get hurted if you file a maintenace case rather than RCR, because maintenance case demands money and RCR demands re-union. RCR is not a criminal case, but maintenence can be filed under scetion 125 CrPc which can lead to further mis-understandings.

I dodn't understand how wife filing RCR will become advantage for husband's Divorce case. Wife will gain more credibility if she files RCR as it will be reflecting her willingness for re-union and huband's divorce case refects his attitude to get seperated from his wife who is eagerly looking for re-union ( and that's why she filed RCR ). If wife files RCR, more sympathy will be on wife's side and Judge will be more inclined to dismiss Husband's Divorce petition.

naveen (business)     10 November 2014

Madam shanti,

I hope their is a fault from both ends but u did not describe ur probem fairIy

I wont fully agree with  shastry's second para, There is no point of sympathy court always works on figs and facts with supporting documents. If u apply for RCR after a long gap of 2 yrs than u have to prove wat all efforts u put to restore ur marriage and any reasonable ground for staying separated all these days and why u  want to join him now.

I hope he go for  13(1a) (1b) under hma and try to prove his allegations. u should fight against it and prove that no fault from ur end. So that devorce cannot be granted and marriage is restored again.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     10 November 2014

How your filing RCR can get your husband a divorce decree, I explain.  You file RCR and if he does not turn up into the court, the court after taking your evidence pass the decree in your favour.  Even then he does not cohabit with you.   One year after the passing of RCR decree, he will file divorce case under Section 13 (1A)(ii) of Hindu Marriage Act on the ground that no cohabitation happened for the last one year since passing of RCR decree.  This section provides the right to any party, even the guilty party to get the benefit of divorce decree.  That is why, I suggested you that do not go for RCR case.  If you ask for pre-litigation mediation, he may bluntly refuse.  That is why, I suggested maintenance case and through that mediation.  Now, after seeing your second post, it appears (only my apprehension) that there were certain unpleasant situations he faced in his three months' stay in your sister-in-law's house.  Those ruffled feathers have to be smoothened.  Your willingness to forget and forgive should be reciprocated by him in manly manner.  So, try for mediation SHANTI and I hope that what is in your name shall dawn in your life also.  Warm regards,

(LAST REPLY) 

1 Like

confused (na)     10 November 2014

AS   11 November 2014

If you need your husband back , then please do not file any single case and dont even think of it.

Neiter RCR nor 498a or 125 or anything else.

Just talk and sort out issue, if he filed divorce then fight divorce .


Listen buddy no court / law can force anyone to  stay with you. Filling anycase is not a resolution.

Law_Learner (Asst. Mgr.)     11 November 2014

Hi,

Please advise if anyone of the party, husband or wife, files for RCR, how it can help restore the relation. Does not it mean that the whole matter was escalated to court and if it is so it’s someone else, specially a court, which no one wants to go to. I don’t think filing RCR holds any value. Even if court orders any of the party to stay with the partner, it’s eventually an order or in other words “threat” that if you do not do this the party in disagreement will face the consequence and in that case it’s not a relation but “threat”.

I think best is to involve the elders from both sides and get the matter resolved. And I don’t think anyone will outrightly deny having a dialogue and even if one does repeated efforts should be made to bring the people on discussion table.

Best of luck.

 Regards,

 

JanDec 


(Guest)

In 20 lacs one can build a 20 30 house, one can support 3 families if one wants to.  


If you dont have value for yourself, at least have value for the money spent on the marriage.


Going to court means, end of marriage.


Dont go to  court.  


Solve matter by talking.  


NO use involving elders.   Its your own life, you only are solely responsible for your life, not your parents. Decide amongst yourself.  Think and make a move.  Dont coc k it up.


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