Save my marriage

From reading your query, it is clear that one thing lead to another and you are here.  Try to solve matter amicably.  I disagree with Ramesh Singh.  Implicating a man in less severe charges wont lessen the humiliation done via a police complaint.  You have been suffciently advised already.  The only person who can help you is yourself.  Dont commit mistakes again, if at all there is re-union.  Dont take life easy.  Value life, married life.

Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn
l	From reading your query, it is clear that one thing lead to another and you are here.  Try to solve matter amicably.  I disagree with Ramesh Singh.  Implicating a man in less severe charges wont lessen the humiliation done via a police complaint.  You have been suffciently advised already.  The only person who can help you is yourself.  Dont commit mistakes again, if at all there is re-union.  Dont take life easy.  Value life, married life.

Hello Sir,

Humilation was started at home and then it was dragged to the station by my husband first, after 3.5 months of awaiting, I had no option but to go the station and file a complaint.

He left me on Feb 17th and approced the police showing himself as innnocent on Mar 5th. Stating that he needs a couselling session for both of us and when I went there 4 times all the way from my house but he never turned for it and made excuses. In this process I was vexed up. Meanwhile hundreds of calls and messages were sent to him to take me back and we could solve the issue about whatever that is. Instead he just created a secen out of nothing.

What does he want ? Dowry/Money ? Can anyone harass a person so much just for money ? Why was I left in less than 3 months of marriage ? I feel so lost with all this.

Ramesh Singh, it appears that you are not married.  Man has evolved from caveman to modern day individual. During those times of caveman, there was no concept of marriage.  There was free s*x.  Marriage were made to be known.  Leading to family.  Which lead to tribes.  Tribes formed groups.  Groups formed bigger groups.  Leading to a group of society and a nation was formed.   

You are not Nadeem nor have you quoted example of Ramesh Singh versus Mrs Ramesh Singh.  You have quoted Nadeem xyc example. 

Marriage is two way.  It takes two to tango.  Marriage works on this principle.

In the instant case, the gentle lady files police complaint on gentle husband who is absconding.  I have seen xyz husband get beaten up by wife zyx, spend two days in lockup and still go back to lovely wife.

So it takes two to tango.  

Man has evolved.  and in reality has become sensitive to many issues, that depends on many factors.  Some people eat in roadside, and some eat in 5 star hotel.  You cannot call both of them equal.  

In same way if in this case husband wants to unite with wife, he will.  Even if wife files some 20 cases on him or 100 cases on him. Class is a  different thing altogether, sensitivity comes with class.  How classy is it to go stand in front of drunk policement only readers should guess and explain.

just 2.5monhs of marriage. The lady had lodged criminal cases against husband and now says she does not want to end marriage. After suggestion from one expert to file few more cases, she thanks him and feels she has got solutions to her problem.

Mam, u r highly confused and doing things that will make ur case worse.

If u want to reconcile then u have to change ur behaviour. Force will not help u get back with ur husband.

Your husband is deeply hurt, by further humiliating him in public by filing cases he will not come back to you, but may perhaps leave the country (if he has not done so far)

Originally posted by : Born Fighter
	just 2.5monhs of marriage. The lady had lodged criminal cases against husband and now says she does not want to end marriage. After suggestion from one expert to file few more cases, she thanks him and feels she has got solutions to her problem. Mam, u r highly confused and doing things that will make ur case worse. If u want to reconcile then u have to change ur behaviour. Force will not help u get back with ur husband.   Your husband is deeply hurt, by further humiliating him in public by filing cases he will not come back to you, but may perhaps leave the country (if he has not done so far)

After 2.5 months I was crying each night asking him to take me back home and we could sort things by talking. N for 4 months I waited before taking any harsh step. I'm so clear in what I want, whatsoever the financial disputes are I still want to live with him, coz today we might have money and tomorrow we may not, doesn't mean we leave relationships for money n mentioned the same in the FIR too.

After that expert din't suggest me to file more cases, infact he asked me to reduce the severity of the cases.

Leaving a girl for money in 2.5 months marriage, harrasing n beating her is not humilation ?? How much hurt should I be n what should I do for this ? run away from this world ?

Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh
	It look like Men's club and Indian women's have no right to approach Police Station. Its an reason why justice always delay due to argument and not considering fact. Is there any alternative suggestion by Expert, if yes than highly appreciated. Source: Petty case of Nazir Ahmed (employee at IP&T) more than 20 complaint in PS by his wife, still living together.

Rightly said.

Women who approch p.s is called as 3rd grade women..How sick that is.. 

Originally posted by : Deepthi
	Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh It look like Men's club and Indian women's have no right to approach Police Station. Its an reason why justice always delay due to argument and not considering fact. Is there any alternative suggestion by Expert, if yes than highly appreciated. Source: Petty case of Nazir Ahmed (employee at IP&T) more than 20 complaint in PS by his wife, still living together. Rightly said. Women who approch p.s is called as 3rd grade women..How sick that is..

Hello,

You have already approached police for help and realised that approaching police of matrimonial matter is of no use.  How else do you think you can save your marriage?  What are your plans?  Can you expalin if possible?  I want to know what exactly is going on in your mind regarding the present position and also your future.

Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn
	Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh It look like Men's club and Indian women's have no right to approach Police Station. Its an reason why justice always delay due to argument and not considering fact. Is there any alternative suggestion by Expert, if yes than highly appreciated. Source: Petty case of Nazir Ahmed (employee at IP&T) more than 20 complaint in PS by his wife, still living together. Rightly said. Women who approch p.s is called as 3rd grade women..How sick that is..  Hello, You have already approached police for help and realised that approaching police of matrimonial matter is of no use.  How else do you think you can save your marriage?  What are your plans?  Can you expalin if possible?  I want to know what exactly is going on in your mind regarding the present position and also your future.

Sure Rakesh.

I approched the p.s to help me go back to my matrimonial house, could it be through a counselling or by any other legal means. I can't be seperated from my husband in just 2.5 months. Even to apply a divorce we need live for a yr. Which means any person needs at least a year's time to get along. So the same had been requested for. All I want is to have a happy family without any disputes. Talking to a person face to face will help to sort a lot of issues but unfortunately none of the family members from my husband's side is coperating for this. In fact there was a time when they ran away locking the doors.

My in-laws are overthinkers. They think too much ever before something happens, not just in this situation but even during my stay I noticed they over react for nothing. They fear everything something like a OCD symtoms. With such people around my husband is not able to stand and talk to us. In the name of proctecting himself he records every call, he saves every message, and repeatdly talks about having call records. For me all these sound so silly like a childish thing. He approced the police first for counselling but after which he never turned for it. I went there 4 times and all the 4 times I was highly disappointed. N the last time I had no option but to file a case stating that "inspite of the disputes I wish to live with him, coz he is more like a child and I need sometime to understand him better and behave accordingly". It's an arranged marriage and both of us need sometime for each other but that hadn't happened with the overthinkers arround. N I'm 200% sure that I have no plans to divorce & re-marry.

N this is my problem.

Originally posted by : Deepthi
	Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh It look like Men's club and Indian women's have no right to approach Police Station. Its an reason why justice always delay due to argument and not considering fact. Is there any alternative suggestion by Expert, if yes than highly appreciated. Source: Petty case of Nazir Ahmed (employee at IP&T) more than 20 complaint in PS by his wife, still living together. Rightly said. Women who approch p.s is called as 3rd grade women..How sick that is..  Hello, You have already approached police for help and realised that approaching police of matrimonial matter is of no use.  How else do you think you can save your marriage?  What are your plans?  Can you expalin if possible?  I want to know what exactly is going on in your mind regarding the present position and also your future.   Sure Rakesh. I approched the p.s to help me go back to my matrimonial house, could it be through a counselling or by any other legal means. I can't be seperated from my husband in just 2.5 months. Even to apply a divorce we need live for a yr. Which means any person needs at least a year's time to get along. So the same had been requested for. All I want is to have a happy family without any disputes. Talking to a person face to face will help to sort a lot of issues but unfortunately none of the family members from my husband's side is coperating for this. In fact there was a time when they ran away locking the doors. My in-laws are overthinkers. They think too much ever before something happens, not just in this situation but even during my stay I noticed they over react for nothing. They fear everything something like a OCD symtoms. With such people around my husband is not able to stand and talk to us. In the name of proctecting himself he records every call, he saves every message, and repeatdly talks about having call records. For me all these sound so silly like a childish thing. He approced the police first for counselling but after which he never turned for it. I went there 4 times and all the 4 times I was highly disappointed. N the last time I had no option but to file a case stating that "inspite of the disputes I wish to live with him, coz he is more like a child and I need sometime to understand him better and behave accordingly". It's an arranged marriage and both of us need sometime for each other but that hadn't happened with the overthinkers arround. N I'm 200% sure that I have no plans to divorce & re-marry. N this is my problem.

He wont accept you back, nor his parents will let you into their house.  You tried, to go back. They wont let you come in. He is absconding. You still want to go back.  They dont want you.  Now what you will do?

Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn
	Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh It look like Men's club and Indian women's have no right to approach Police Station. Its an reason why justice always delay due to argument and not considering fact. Is there any alternative suggestion by Expert, if yes than highly appreciated. Source: Petty case of Nazir Ahmed (employee at IP&T) more than 20 complaint in PS by his wife, still living together. Rightly said. Women who approch p.s is called as 3rd grade women..How sick that is..  Hello, You have already approached police for help and realised that approaching police of matrimonial matter is of no use.  How else do you think you can save your marriage?  What are your plans?  Can you expalin if possible?  I want to know what exactly is going on in your mind regarding the present position and also your future.   Sure Rakesh. I approched the p.s to help me go back to my matrimonial house, could it be through a counselling or by any other legal means. I can't be seperated from my husband in just 2.5 months. Even to apply a divorce we need live for a yr. Which means any person needs at least a year's time to get along. So the same had been requested for. All I want is to have a happy family without any disputes. Talking to a person face to face will help to sort a lot of issues but unfortunately none of the family members from my husband's side is coperating for this. In fact there was a time when they ran away locking the doors. My in-laws are overthinkers. They think too much ever before something happens, not just in this situation but even during my stay I noticed they over react for nothing. They fear everything something like a OCD symtoms. With such people around my husband is not able to stand and talk to us. In the name of proctecting himself he records every call, he saves every message, and repeatdly talks about having call records. For me all these sound so silly like a childish thing. He approced the police first for counselling but after which he never turned for it. I went there 4 times and all the 4 times I was highly disappointed. N the last time I had no option but to file a case stating that "inspite of the disputes I wish to live with him, coz he is more like a child and I need sometime to understand him better and behave accordingly". It's an arranged marriage and both of us need sometime for each other but that hadn't happened with the overthinkers arround. N I'm 200% sure that I have no plans to divorce & re-marry. N this is my problem. He wont accept you back, nor his parents will let you into their house.  You tried, to go back. They wont let you come in. He is absconding. You still want to go back.  They dont want you.  Now what you will do?

Then its an absolute cheating case isn't it ?? Marriage for Money..A decent rape in the name of Marriage. Mental and Physical torture. I left my job, family, and everything for him, yet I was thrown out. No repect, no loyality, fake promises & fake marriage.

If he is absconding with no answers and leaving me a such a worst state then he and his family has to get punished, so that no other girl will ever suffer like the way I'm sufferring. I shall ensure that the justice is given. I'm no doll to enjoy, have fun and throw away in 2 months.

N no matter what, there is no question of divorce.

Originally posted by : Online.498a.DV.Act.Crusader
	Hi Team, With great hope I'm writing this to you. Your attitude itself is not proper.  Who are you addressing ?  Are you our boss?  Have you appointed us to be your lawyers?  This attitude itself shows what kind of woman you are.  32 years and you still did not learn how to behave in public?  32 years and you still did not learn how to ask help? First and foremost you don’t know how to respect people.  That sure has gone against you in more than one ways which you have explained below.   Can someone please help me with my issue. I'm Mrs. D. Deepthi aged 32yrs. I was married in Nov 2016 according to Hindu Rituals. With a lot of hopes and happiness I entered the new family. Who asked you to build hopes?  Could you not go with open mind where you can accept things the way they are? But by Feb 2017 things changed tremendously. I was discriminated, harassed, abused and beaten. Did you approach police?  You have not approached police but are trying to build sympathy for yourself in the mind of anyone who reads what you have written.  Isnt it? Yes or no?   My husband was highly influenced by his mother and her sisters and brother. Who is not?  Are you not?  Influence many people will have especially near and dear ones, whats wrong in that? We were a happy couple if they are not around. So what did you expect? That his parents should not be around at all?  If it were like that you should have put this condition at the time of marriage.  You should have seeked orphan for marriage, rather than someone who has a full fledged family or at least put condition that I want separate house after marriage. It was an arranged marriage through Telugu Matrimony and there wasn't any dowry involved. Telugu people are known to collect huge money which they spent on sons education, how come they did not take dowry?  That is an essential part of Telugu guys marriage ceremony isn’t it?   However the money which was promised to be given to me by my dad was delayed and this made everyone at my matrimonial house angry. Why did your dad promise that he will give money to you? When there was no talk of dowry at all?  You should be madcaps to agree to such arrangement. And I was always abused (what kind of abuse? You have not explained) and threatened  (what kind of threat? You have not explained) to be left for this reason. Meanwhile my parents interference made things worse. Exactly. Your parents interference is the main problem here.  Could they not shut their pie hole and let you handle things?  If you are papas daughter, you should have stayed with papa.  Why did you even marry and spoil a boys life when you knew you could not handle your husband or his immediate family all by yourself?  You should have waited a bit till you were mature enough to handle a man and his immediate family.  Most marriages get spoilt due to interference from wifes parents.  Ask anyone on this forum, lawyer like me or someone who is been at the receiving end due to interference of girls parents.   My husband left me at my cousin's house and never took me back till date. Its been 3.5 months. You should have gone back, don’t you have money for auto charge or bus ticket? His family is not bothered to pick our calls n sort things. These things cant be done over phone, you need to go to secure and secluded place where CCTV cameras are fixed with your entire battalion and discuss with them why not taking back.   He hardly used to respond but it was always negative talks. I was initially angry but never want to part from him. I tried going back to him but he dint let me in. I used to travel 1600kms up and down and always returned with disappointment. I begged, cried, and apologised for being angry but I wasn't forgiven and taken back. So you had money for auto charge also and bus charge also.   That means you have proper and stable income.  See this is what happens when you do things out of anger.  You need to attend Sadhguru classes for controlling anger. I feel cheated and thrashed. You get angry, you become a mess and how can you feel cheated dear? What has happened is a result of your own anger.  You have got angry and said what not and all, they got double angry and not letting you in back.  Isn’t it? Yes or no?   I really couldn't understand him. If you are angry and fighting all the time where will you have time to talk and understand a person? Isn’t it? Yes or no.  You should move peacefully, letting the other person be himself and see the person beyond dowry and expenses, only then you will come to know what a person is.  Parents of any boy would have spent money on education of their son and would want returns in form of dowry.  If you want good boy with good job, you will have to pay money isn’t it?  Better the boy, with better the job, higher the price you will have to pay.  This is what has been going in AP and newly formed telangana region isn’t it?  Giving and taking is part of Hindu culture for a very long time, for thousands of years have been following this culture.  You cannot change this culture.  Girls like you should make it a new custom that we wont give dowry or any kind of gift.  Until that time there is concentrated effort from each and every girl of this country, that they wont give a penny in dowry, this dowry system will continue to be there in our Indian society.  Isn’t it? Yes or no?   If dowry is the main reason then why did he marry me ?? Correct.  But why did you not ask this at time of marriage?  Why did you people behave suggestively that your father will give dowry by giving money to you? You should have simply not agreed to this kind of setup.  You should have found someone like me who does not want dowry at all and wants one person who could manage me and my home.   He could have gone for a rich family. You could have gone for family much more richer than this family who would have crores of rupees isn’t it?  If you had gone for richer family, they would have not asked dowry based on your logic.  They already have plenty of money, who will want to ask money as dowry from poor girls family?  They would have simply conducted marriage in their expenses and would have given money to your father for giving you in marriage like it used to happen in olden days. Why play with me and my emotions ?? That you have to ask only him dear.  I say, where money is involved, there should not be emotions involved.  Did you ever hear a marwadi or baniya have emotions while he dealt pawn? Or when he lent money?  He will tell go sell your wifes earrings and give me interest.  Is it not?  You were stupid enough to let emotions flutter where money is involved.  When you are giving money and he is taking money, it is contract.  And Indian Contract Act of 1872 applies.  Isn’t  it?   Finally I had to file a case against him and his family members. You screwed up big time. I had not spoken to any lawyers. Police registered 498a and other cases for escaping from me without a reason. Now he completely switched off his mobile and found nowhere. Police says he might be worried or upset so not to worry they shall handle. Also they said they will arrange a counselling session soon. But I'm unable to trust that too. Coz during these 3.5 months I approached police for counselling and my husband never came to talk and sort out things. Instead he kept postponing the dates n caused a lot of mental stress to me. Meanwhile few others are saying my husband is looking for anticipatory bail n is ready to face the court. All this is over my head. I'm not used to all these police cases or courts and everything looks weird and I'm highly depressed. I want simple happy married life. The same was written in the FIR too. Today if my Husband is ready to take me back home and can promise me not let anyone talk about dowry or money that was to be given to me, I'm ready to take the case back and live with him. I worked for 7.5 yrs before marriage and resigned for my wedding coz both of us mutually wished. I love to be home maker so did he. I wanna continue to be good home maker n make a happy family. I'm 32yrs old and my Husband is 33yrs, its the right age to have kids any further delay would lead to a miserable life without a family. I really want to have a child of my own with my husband. At this moment I wish no parting from him, this is in benefit for both of us. I'm worried that he might show the case as reason to divorce me. For which I'm not mentally prepared. We lived just for 2.5 months as a husband and wife, meanwhile all of this is making me weak. How do I communicate to my husband and resolve this issue without any cases ? None of his family members are responding. I'm loosing my health and mental ability to think any further. Please help me go back to my husband.   After filing 498a case what are you doing here?  Your marriage is over the moment you entered police station.  Now file divorce and take divorce decree from court.  The 498a case will run for 1 decade.  If your husband wants to contest divorce, the divorce case will run for 2 decades.  Mutual divorce is best option.  He wont take you back.  I did not take my wife back what will he take you back after filing 498a case?  Even my wife filed similar case though there was no money involved at all. This third class women like you will never understand what it is to go to police station.  Police station itself is third class place meant for robbers, thieves, dacoits and rapists.  In this place if you go seeking solution for your marriage problem, then you are the biggest fool.  What can police do to unify husband and wife, can they threaten and beat your husband if he does not want to live with you? No. they can do that also, but that will create more gap than before.  You look educated, but you are not in reality.  If you were sensible, you could have reduced all this by the way of talks.  India and Pakistan hate each other, do they mean they go for war.  The great modi and his team criticized congress govt for not going to war with Pakistan, but when modi himself came to power he went to wish Happy Birthday to Nawaz Shariff.  Why you know?  Because talks are the way forward to plaster damaged relationships.  Not gun and law.  In same way, you should have gone with peace talks.  I mean its your life which is at stake here, nobody elses.  Isn’t it.  It is you who wanted to go back, you could have exercised your brain instead of exercising your legal rights.  Now matter is over.   Even I am looking for girl who can take care of me and my house, I don’t want single penny as dowry.  I want someone who can bear children who has not entered police station or court with 498a.  I would have even proposed to you, but you don’t fit the bill.  You are a 498a woman.  The future is bleak for you.  Go hold your husbands feet and ask for forgiveness.  It is not difficult to trace anyone in this present age.  If you have the will you will somehow find your husband and do peace with him.    Problem with women like you is, you people don’t have patience or the willingness to continue in marriage, you want things your way, you want your husband and in laws to dance according to your tunes.  If you had willingness to lead marital life with your husband by adjusting with him and his parents, you would not have seen this day at all.  You are those unadjusting types sadly.  Nothing can be done.  You will be labeled as 498a wife for life.   Even if he takes you back, life wont be easy.  The hurt and anger of your police complaint will come back to you in much greater force than ever.  Chances are you might end up dead, due to hatred and anger.   Your marriage is over.  You seem educated, but you are not, sadly.  You could have had a wonderful life, but now its all over.  Now only court case. 1.  Divorce case. a) Mutual. Free in 6 months. b) Contested. c) Ex-parte. 2.  Some more cases like DV etc. 3.  Maintenance case. All run simultaneously like mega serial.  You wont get any alimony as you are able bodied.  Your stridhan etc and dowry claim back is a never ending issue. Ah and the clock is ticking, and you are aware of it, that is good to know.  Take mutual divorce and find another guy in marriage before you turn 34.     Money can buy you husband, but not a relationship.   Regards, You can mail me at Online498a.DV.Act.Crusader@gmail.com

i thing this man not proper for counsel deepthi just look what usha ji have written

Originally posted by : Online.498a.DV.Act.Crusader
	Hi Team, With great hope I'm writing this to you. Your attitude itself is not proper.  Who are you addressing ?  Are you our boss?  Have you appointed us to be your lawyers?  This attitude itself shows what kind of woman you are.  32 years and you still did not learn how to behave in public?  32 years and you still did not learn how to ask help? First and foremost you don’t know how to respect people.  That sure has gone against you in more than one ways which you have explained below.   Can someone please help me with my issue. I'm Mrs. D. Deepthi aged 32yrs. I was married in Nov 2016 according to Hindu Rituals. With a lot of hopes and happiness I entered the new family. Who asked you to build hopes?  Could you not go with open mind where you can accept things the way they are? But by Feb 2017 things changed tremendously. I was discriminated, harassed, abused and beaten. Did you approach police?  You have not approached police but are trying to build sympathy for yourself in the mind of anyone who reads what you have written.  Isnt it? Yes or no?   My husband was highly influenced by his mother and her sisters and brother. Who is not?  Are you not?  Influence many people will have especially near and dear ones, whats wrong in that? We were a happy couple if they are not around. So what did you expect? That his parents should not be around at all?  If it were like that you should have put this condition at the time of marriage.  You should have seeked orphan for marriage, rather than someone who has a full fledged family or at least put condition that I want separate house after marriage. It was an arranged marriage through Telugu Matrimony and there wasn't any dowry involved. Telugu people are known to collect huge money which they spent on sons education, how come they did not take dowry?  That is an essential part of Telugu guys marriage ceremony isn’t it?   However the money which was promised to be given to me by my dad was delayed and this made everyone at my matrimonial house angry. Why did your dad promise that he will give money to you? When there was no talk of dowry at all?  You should be madcaps to agree to such arrangement. And I was always abused (what kind of abuse? You have not explained) and threatened  (what kind of threat? You have not explained) to be left for this reason. Meanwhile my parents interference made things worse. Exactly. Your parents interference is the main problem here.  Could they not shut their pie hole and let you handle things?  If you are papas daughter, you should have stayed with papa.  Why did you even marry and spoil a boys life when you knew you could not handle your husband or his immediate family all by yourself?  You should have waited a bit till you were mature enough to handle a man and his immediate family.  Most marriages get spoilt due to interference from wifes parents.  Ask anyone on this forum, lawyer like me or someone who is been at the receiving end due to interference of girls parents.   My husband left me at my cousin's house and never took me back till date. Its been 3.5 months. You should have gone back, don’t you have money for auto charge or bus ticket? His family is not bothered to pick our calls n sort things. These things cant be done over phone, you need to go to secure and secluded place where CCTV cameras are fixed with your entire battalion and discuss with them why not taking back.   He hardly used to respond but it was always negative talks. I was initially angry but never want to part from him. I tried going back to him but he dint let me in. I used to travel 1600kms up and down and always returned with disappointment. I begged, cried, and apologised for being angry but I wasn't forgiven and taken back. So you had money for auto charge also and bus charge also.   That means you have proper and stable income.  See this is what happens when you do things out of anger.  You need to attend Sadhguru classes for controlling anger. I feel cheated and thrashed. You get angry, you become a mess and how can you feel cheated dear? What has happened is a result of your own anger.  You have got angry and said what not and all, they got double angry and not letting you in back.  Isn’t it? Yes or no?   I really couldn't understand him. If you are angry and fighting all the time where will you have time to talk and understand a person? Isn’t it? Yes or no.  You should move peacefully, letting the other person be himself and see the person beyond dowry and expenses, only then you will come to know what a person is.  Parents of any boy would have spent money on education of their son and would want returns in form of dowry.  If you want good boy with good job, you will have to pay money isn’t it?  Better the boy, with better the job, higher the price you will have to pay.  This is what has been going in AP and newly formed telangana region isn’t it?  Giving and taking is part of Hindu culture for a very long time, for thousands of years have been following this culture.  You cannot change this culture.  Girls like you should make it a new custom that we wont give dowry or any kind of gift.  Until that time there is concentrated effort from each and every girl of this country, that they wont give a penny in dowry, this dowry system will continue to be there in our Indian society.  Isn’t it? Yes or no?   If dowry is the main reason then why did he marry me ?? Correct.  But why did you not ask this at time of marriage?  Why did you people behave suggestively that your father will give dowry by giving money to you? You should have simply not agreed to this kind of setup.  You should have found someone like me who does not want dowry at all and wants one person who could manage me and my home.   He could have gone for a rich family. You could have gone for family much more richer than this family who would have crores of rupees isn’t it?  If you had gone for richer family, they would have not asked dowry based on your logic.  They already have plenty of money, who will want to ask money as dowry from poor girls family?  They would have simply conducted marriage in their expenses and would have given money to your father for giving you in marriage like it used to happen in olden days. Why play with me and my emotions ?? That you have to ask only him dear.  I say, where money is involved, there should not be emotions involved.  Did you ever hear a marwadi or baniya have emotions while he dealt pawn? Or when he lent money?  He will tell go sell your wifes earrings and give me interest.  Is it not?  You were stupid enough to let emotions flutter where money is involved.  When you are giving money and he is taking money, it is contract.  And Indian Contract Act of 1872 applies.  Isn’t  it?   Finally I had to file a case against him and his family members. You screwed up big time. I had not spoken to any lawyers. Police registered 498a and other cases for escaping from me without a reason. Now he completely switched off his mobile and found nowhere. Police says he might be worried or upset so not to worry they shall handle. Also they said they will arrange a counselling session soon. But I'm unable to trust that too. Coz during these 3.5 months I approached police for counselling and my husband never came to talk and sort out things. Instead he kept postponing the dates n caused a lot of mental stress to me. Meanwhile few others are saying my husband is looking for anticipatory bail n is ready to face the court. All this is over my head. I'm not used to all these police cases or courts and everything looks weird and I'm highly depressed. I want simple happy married life. The same was written in the FIR too. Today if my Husband is ready to take me back home and can promise me not let anyone talk about dowry or money that was to be given to me, I'm ready to take the case back and live with him. I worked for 7.5 yrs before marriage and resigned for my wedding coz both of us mutually wished. I love to be home maker so did he. I wanna continue to be good home maker n make a happy family. I'm 32yrs old and my Husband is 33yrs, its the right age to have kids any further delay would lead to a miserable life without a family. I really want to have a child of my own with my husband. At this moment I wish no parting from him, this is in benefit for both of us. I'm worried that he might show the case as reason to divorce me. For which I'm not mentally prepared. We lived just for 2.5 months as a husband and wife, meanwhile all of this is making me weak. How do I communicate to my husband and resolve this issue without any cases ? None of his family members are responding. I'm loosing my health and mental ability to think any further. Please help me go back to my husband.   After filing 498a case what are you doing here?  Your marriage is over the moment you entered police station.  Now file divorce and take divorce decree from court.  The 498a case will run for 1 decade.  If your husband wants to contest divorce, the divorce case will run for 2 decades.  Mutual divorce is best option.  He wont take you back.  I did not take my wife back what will he take you back after filing 498a case?  Even my wife filed similar case though there was no money involved at all. This third class women like you will never understand what it is to go to police station.  Police station itself is third class place meant for robbers, thieves, dacoits and rapists.  In this place if you go seeking solution for your marriage problem, then you are the biggest fool.  What can police do to unify husband and wife, can they threaten and beat your husband if he does not want to live with you? No. they can do that also, but that will create more gap than before.  You look educated, but you are not in reality.  If you were sensible, you could have reduced all this by the way of talks.  India and Pakistan hate each other, do they mean they go for war.  The great modi and his team criticized congress govt for not going to war with Pakistan, but when modi himself came to power he went to wish Happy Birthday to Nawaz Shariff.  Why you know?  Because talks are the way forward to plaster damaged relationships.  Not gun and law.  In same way, you should have gone with peace talks.  I mean its your life which is at stake here, nobody elses.  Isn’t it.  It is you who wanted to go back, you could have exercised your brain instead of exercising your legal rights.  Now matter is over.   Even I am looking for girl who can take care of me and my house, I don’t want single penny as dowry.  I want someone who can bear children who has not entered police station or court with 498a.  I would have even proposed to you, but you don’t fit the bill.  You are a 498a woman.  The future is bleak for you.  Go hold your husbands feet and ask for forgiveness.  It is not difficult to trace anyone in this present age.  If you have the will you will somehow find your husband and do peace with him.    Problem with women like you is, you people don’t have patience or the willingness to continue in marriage, you want things your way, you want your husband and in laws to dance according to your tunes.  If you had willingness to lead marital life with your husband by adjusting with him and his parents, you would not have seen this day at all.  You are those unadjusting types sadly.  Nothing can be done.  You will be labeled as 498a wife for life.   Even if he takes you back, life wont be easy.  The hurt and anger of your police complaint will come back to you in much greater force than ever.  Chances are you might end up dead, due to hatred and anger.   Your marriage is over.  You seem educated, but you are not, sadly.  You could have had a wonderful life, but now its all over.  Now only court case. 1.  Divorce case. a) Mutual. Free in 6 months. b) Contested. c) Ex-parte. 2.  Some more cases like DV etc. 3.  Maintenance case. All run simultaneously like mega serial.  You wont get any alimony as you are able bodied.  Your stridhan etc and dowry claim back is a never ending issue. Ah and the clock is ticking, and you are aware of it, that is good to know.  Take mutual divorce and find another guy in marriage before you turn 34.     Money can buy you husband, but not a relationship.   Regards, You can mail me at Online498a.DV.Act.Crusader@gmail.com

i thing this man not proper for counsel deepthi just look what usha ji have written

Originally posted by : Deepthi
	Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh It look like Men's club and Indian women's have no right to approach Police Station. Its an reason why justice always delay due to argument and not considering fact. Is there any alternative suggestion by Expert, if yes than highly appreciated. Source: Petty case of Nazir Ahmed (employee at IP&T) more than 20 complaint in PS by his wife, still living together. Rightly said. Women who approch p.s is called as 3rd grade women..How sick that is..  Hello, You have already approached police for help and realised that approaching police of matrimonial matter is of no use.  How else do you think you can save your marriage?  What are your plans?  Can you expalin if possible?  I want to know what exactly is going on in your mind regarding the present position and also your future.   Sure Rakesh. I approched the p.s to help me go back to my matrimonial house, could it be through a counselling or by any other legal means. I can't be seperated from my husband in just 2.5 months. Even to apply a divorce we need live for a yr. Which means any person needs at least a year's time to get along. So the same had been requested for. All I want is to have a happy family without any disputes. Talking to a person face to face will help to sort a lot of issues but unfortunately none of the family members from my husband's side is coperating for this. In fact there was a time when they ran away locking the doors. My in-laws are overthinkers. They think too much ever before something happens, not just in this situation but even during my stay I noticed they over react for nothing. They fear everything something like a OCD symtoms. With such people around my husband is not able to stand and talk to us. In the name of proctecting himself he records every call, he saves every message, and repeatdly talks about having call records. For me all these sound so silly like a childish thing. He approced the police first for counselling but after which he never turned for it. I went there 4 times and all the 4 times I was highly disappointed. N the last time I had no option but to file a case stating that "inspite of the disputes I wish to live with him, coz he is more like a child and I need sometime to understand him better and behave accordingly". It's an arranged marriage and both of us need sometime for each other but that hadn't happened with the overthinkers arround. N I'm 200% sure that I have no plans to divorce & re-marry. N this is my problem. He wont accept you back, nor his parents will let you into their house.  You tried, to go back. They wont let you come in. He is absconding. You still want to go back.  They dont want you.  Now what you will do? Then its an absolute cheating case isn't it ?? Marriage for Money..A decent rape in the name of Marriage. Mental and Physical torture. I left my job, family, and everything for him, yet I was thrown out. No repect, no loyality, fake promises & fake marriage. If he is absconding with no answers and leaving me a such a worst state then he and his family has to get punished, so that no other girl will ever suffer like the way I'm sufferring. I shall ensure that the justice is given. I'm no doll to enjoy, have fun and throw away in 2 months. N no matter what, there is no question of divorce.

Very right.

You have cold. I asked what will you do now.  You are explaining, my nose is running, I cant hear properly, I have blurry eyes, I have headache, I cant tolerate sound, I cant sleep, I am sneezing, I cant sit at one place, I am having bodyache etc etc.

I asked, what you will do?  You tell you want to get them punished.  Complaint you have already filed.  Case should now move to court.  But the question is how will you punish these cheaters?  What will you get by punishing them?  Can you really get them punished?  There are many loopholes in system, they wont get punished at all.  What will you do?

You don’t want divorce, but do you know if your husband asks for divorce he will get it, even if you oppose it?

Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn
	Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh It look like Men's club and Indian women's have no right to approach Police Station. Its an reason why justice always delay due to argument and not considering fact. Is there any alternative suggestion by Expert, if yes than highly appreciated. Source: Petty case of Nazir Ahmed (employee at IP&T) more than 20 complaint in PS by his wife, still living together. Rightly said. Women who approch p.s is called as 3rd grade women..How sick that is..  Hello, You have already approached police for help and realised that approaching police of matrimonial matter is of no use.  How else do you think you can save your marriage?  What are your plans?  Can you expalin if possible?  I want to know what exactly is going on in your mind regarding the present position and also your future.   Sure Rakesh. I approched the p.s to help me go back to my matrimonial house, could it be through a counselling or by any other legal means. I can't be seperated from my husband in just 2.5 months. Even to apply a divorce we need live for a yr. Which means any person needs at least a year's time to get along. So the same had been requested for. All I want is to have a happy family without any disputes. Talking to a person face to face will help to sort a lot of issues but unfortunately none of the family members from my husband's side is coperating for this. In fact there was a time when they ran away locking the doors. My in-laws are overthinkers. They think too much ever before something happens, not just in this situation but even during my stay I noticed they over react for nothing. They fear everything something like a OCD symtoms. With such people around my husband is not able to stand and talk to us. In the name of proctecting himself he records every call, he saves every message, and repeatdly talks about having call records. For me all these sound so silly like a childish thing. He approced the police first for counselling but after which he never turned for it. I went there 4 times and all the 4 times I was highly disappointed. N the last time I had no option but to file a case stating that "inspite of the disputes I wish to live with him, coz he is more like a child and I need sometime to understand him better and behave accordingly". It's an arranged marriage and both of us need sometime for each other but that hadn't happened with the overthinkers arround. N I'm 200% sure that I have no plans to divorce & re-marry. N this is my problem. He wont accept you back, nor his parents will let you into their house.  You tried, to go back. They wont let you come in. He is absconding. You still want to go back.  They dont want you.  Now what you will do? Then its an absolute cheating case isn't it ?? Marriage for Money..A decent rape in the name of Marriage. Mental and Physical torture. I left my job, family, and everything for him, yet I was thrown out. No repect, no loyality, fake promises & fake marriage. If he is absconding with no answers and leaving me a such a worst state then he and his family has to get punished, so that no other girl will ever suffer like the way I'm sufferring. I shall ensure that the justice is given. I'm no doll to enjoy, have fun and throw away in 2 months. N no matter what, there is no question of divorce. Very right. You have cold. I asked what will you do now.  You are explaining, my nose is running, I cant hear properly, I have blurry eyes, I have headache, I cant tolerate sound, I cant sleep, I am sneezing, I cant sit at one place, I am having bodyache etc etc.   I asked, what you will do?  You tell you want to get them punished.  Complaint you have already filed.  Case should now move to court.  But the question is how will you punish these cheaters?  What will you get by punishing them?  Can you really get them punished?  There are many loopholes in system, they wont get punished at all.  What will you do?   You don’t want divorce, but do you know if your husband asks for divorce he will get it, even if you oppose it?

I shall fight for my rights. I shall get peace in saving myself from the mental torture of getting cheated by not leaving those criminals. Also the most imp thing is that there should be NO other girl in his life who gets trapped in such a way. (All these are just in case he really is a cheater and just want to abscond, but my instinct still makes me keep a soft corner for him).

If he wishes to get a divorce, I'm not stop it. He may apply for it and fight for his rights. But I don't wish to give him is my wish. It's not all that easy to leave a girl for no reason just in 2  months. N he isn't criminal to cook up false stories to get rid of me.

Bottom line: He loves me more than me but he is just a mommy's child. N his family members are taking an advantage of it. N I want him to understand that.

Originally posted by : Deepthi
	Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh It look like Men's club and Indian women's have no right to approach Police Station. Its an reason why justice always delay due to argument and not considering fact. Is there any alternative suggestion by Expert, if yes than highly appreciated. Source: Petty case of Nazir Ahmed (employee at IP&T) more than 20 complaint in PS by his wife, still living together. Rightly said. Women who approch p.s is called as 3rd grade women..How sick that is..  Hello, You have already approached police for help and realised that approaching police of matrimonial matter is of no use.  How else do you think you can save your marriage?  What are your plans?  Can you expalin if possible?  I want to know what exactly is going on in your mind regarding the present position and also your future.   Sure Rakesh. I approched the p.s to help me go back to my matrimonial house, could it be through a counselling or by any other legal means. I can't be seperated from my husband in just 2.5 months. Even to apply a divorce we need live for a yr. Which means any person needs at least a year's time to get along. So the same had been requested for. All I want is to have a happy family without any disputes. Talking to a person face to face will help to sort a lot of issues but unfortunately none of the family members from my husband's side is coperating for this. In fact there was a time when they ran away locking the doors. My in-laws are overthinkers. They think too much ever before something happens, not just in this situation but even during my stay I noticed they over react for nothing. They fear everything something like a OCD symtoms. With such people around my husband is not able to stand and talk to us. In the name of proctecting himself he records every call, he saves every message, and repeatdly talks about having call records. For me all these sound so silly like a childish thing. He approced the police first for counselling but after which he never turned for it. I went there 4 times and all the 4 times I was highly disappointed. N the last time I had no option but to file a case stating that "inspite of the disputes I wish to live with him, coz he is more like a child and I need sometime to understand him better and behave accordingly". It's an arranged marriage and both of us need sometime for each other but that hadn't happened with the overthinkers arround. N I'm 200% sure that I have no plans to divorce & re-marry. N this is my problem. He wont accept you back, nor his parents will let you into their house.  You tried, to go back. They wont let you come in. He is absconding. You still want to go back.  They dont want you.  Now what you will do? Then its an absolute cheating case isn't it ?? Marriage for Money..A decent rape in the name of Marriage. Mental and Physical torture. I left my job, family, and everything for him, yet I was thrown out. No repect, no loyality, fake promises & fake marriage. If he is absconding with no answers and leaving me a such a worst state then he and his family has to get punished, so that no other girl will ever suffer like the way I'm sufferring. I shall ensure that the justice is given. I'm no doll to enjoy, have fun and throw away in 2 months. N no matter what, there is no question of divorce. Very right. You have cold. I asked what will you do now.  You are explaining, my nose is running, I cant hear properly, I have blurry eyes, I have headache, I cant tolerate sound, I cant sleep, I am sneezing, I cant sit at one place, I am having bodyache etc etc.   I asked, what you will do?  You tell you want to get them punished.  Complaint you have already filed.  Case should now move to court.  But the question is how will you punish these cheaters?  What will you get by punishing them?  Can you really get them punished?  There are many loopholes in system, they wont get punished at all.  What will you do?   You don’t want divorce, but do you know if your husband asks for divorce he will get it, even if you oppose it? I shall fight for my rights. I shall get peace in saving myself from the mental torture of getting cheated by not leaving those criminals. Also the most imp thing is that there should be NO other girl in his life who gets trapped in such a way. (All these are just in case he really is a cheater and just want to abscond, but my instinct still makes me keep a soft corner for him). If he wishes to get a divorce, I'm not stop it. He may apply for it and fight for his rights. But I don't wish to give him is my wish. It's not all that easy to leave a girl for no reason just in 2  months. N he isn't criminal to cook up false stories to get rid of me. Bottom line: He loves me more than me but he is just a mommy's child. N his family members are taking an advantage of it. N I want him to understand that.

How you will fight for your rights?  What are your rights? Can you explain?