Wife threatening to implicate in false dv/ 498a cases

I too had a nasty wife, whom I eventually divorced recently, causing immense disturbances to my professional and personal life during our marriage days. Well it was always not so disturbing. We were the best pair in our circles at times. However, her other personality was literally killing me. We approached marital therapist and she was identified as suffering from Narcisisitic Personality  Disorder, a condition that is difficult to handle. When a treatment plan was suggested she opted out of conselling sessions suspecting I am colluded with the therapist. You may google and read some literature on this disorder.

This also could be a case with your spouse and entire family . I am saying this with my limited knowledge though and cannot be affirmative in stating so.

Now the question of how I got rid of her. I carried a pen cam or an audio recorder all the time recording her tantrums, harrasments meted to servants, neighbours, vendors, my relatives etc., Then preserved certain important clippings of these recordings. Six months down the line I played them to her. She got put off and wanted to file a case of DV and left my house. I approached the Womens cell and filed a petition to help them patch us up. They handled the situation extremely well, to my good fortune, and made us patch up.

During the process they were able to highlight her negatives and suggested, not warned, to mend her ways for a happy relationship. My recordings helped me to expose her true colors to the counsellor at the women cell.

In my case they warned dire consequences if I resort to secret recordings and resort to any kind of harassment. However, in the process, these conversations came on record. I hope the counsellors at women cell have also taken cognizance of what happens between four walls of my house.

As part of my compromise, I was to hand over my entire salary to her and abide by her instructions. I had to take her permission even if I were to go and visit my ailing parents. I now started playing the role of a joker in a circus dancing to her tunes and in my mind was having a last laugh.

At one point I wanted to recommend my servant who is a victim of her harassment to go and file a case of DV on my wife. It could have been extremely harsh, though. I just wanted to drive her to a point where she leaves me to the joys of my future.

I resigned my job, did not argue or counter her, gave her all my money, took a sabbatical, started spending more time before books, prayer and tv and friends. Did not give her a chance to point a finger at me by virtue of my conduct. At one point she even uttered I sleep with my mother. It was difficult to control my anger, but, for the larger purpose I had to swallow my anger.  I participated in conjugal rights only if she wants it. I did not initiate any romantic talk without her permission. Never asked for a cup of coffee unless she willfully made it for me. Never asked for food to be served. This went on for 6 more months, during, which she started having a strange feeling about her own personality. She cannot squeeze anything out of me by way of monetary offerings not can she go back to police and file a fabricated case. I tried applying for several jobs and fortunately did not get employed. There is enough to suggest that I was trying my best to find earning, but, was failing consistently. To start a business of my own, my earnings were taken away by her.

She was working at that time. She got frustrated to such an extent that she found no point in being with me.She confronted me even more tenaciously and I did not budge an inch in terms of my composure and dignity. She started blaming me for the sorry state of affairs in her life.  I suggested she file a police case of any sort, I am willing to be jailed.

I just want to meditate, read, pray and do righteous things. Even a jail could be a place to lead a pious and life of dignity. She understoood my stand and requested for a mutual consent divorce, unconditionally, without alimony. My friends feel I am  fortunate to have come out unscathed from this relationship. Only damage is that I am poor now and no job. However, I am exploring ways to live the rest of my life qualitatively.

Career, money, family, foreign travel, lavish living, social status, high profile job et al are probably not in my destiny. I felt social service, reading, poetry, travelling, light meals, simple clothes and a mat to sleep is all that I am destined for. I am happy now. Money can be usurped from you, but, spiritual well being is indomitable. Some problems can be solved outside the realm of legal boundaries. I suggest bro! live your life to the fullest. Resolve to smile and make others smile, spread the message of universal brotherhood, amass immense knowledge on varied subjects, help people around. You will find your true identity, devoid of emotions and tensions. You will stay in control of your life and also project certain clarity in the direction and magnitude of your life, which no one else can challenge. Get rid of confusion and live and die for a purpose. Rest all is noise. Rest all is trash. Rest all is death.  Bottom line is find a purpose for your life and lead it with DIGNITY AND CHEER. People around us do not change nor they go away so easily.

Syed, i understand your wife is still staying in her own accomodation with her parents. 

Also she is still working, isnt it. She has been taking care of her and her parents expenses out of her own salary ???  what is the salary difference between you and your wife as of now......things things are very important to know as women file DV/498a for sake of extracting huge alimony/maintenance from husband

The fact is this accomodation was alloted to my FIL when he was in service and is residing there since 1996. In course of his service, he misusing his additional position as 'comittee member' of workers union he somehow managed to make several extensions in the front and back courtyard and gave them as rented rooms. The same tenants are countinuing till date. Through these there is a monthly income of 25000, which my inlaws used to take till 2013.

In 2013 my FIL retired from the service and before that again through his manipulations in Companys' Estate and Union Office managed to transfer the house in my wifes name. After my marriage we were residing in one of these extended portion.Only last year we moved to the main portion of the house and my inlaws took our place. Now my wife is taking the monthly rent of Rs.25000 and using to pay flat installments/ LIC payments and other expenditure as per her wishes.

So one of reason why my wife doesn't want to part away with this hous is the additional income she is earning from it. And my inlaws have made her understand that, since this all is because of them they are entitled to live in that house. Their own flat which they have put for rent since last 5-8 yrs is now vacant.

As per my understanding she is not doing all this at this point for alimony. As said earlier she is employed and earns around 22K in hand. what she doesnt want to forgo is the additional rent amount. Her parents are using this and my child ( in the name of taking care of him when we are at work) as a bait to allow them to live in that house.

She will go for legal only when her parents are asked to leave the house, this they will promt her to do Or in case when she is asked to move to some other house.

@Syed, You forget about her threats.  You take a house for yourself on rent in a place where you get job and ask her to move in with you.  If she does not, then file divorce case and also child custody case along with interim application for visitation rights.  You need not go abroad to meet her expenses.  You can file this case in the place where marriage solemnized or where she is residing at present.  In the case of custody case, where the child ordinarily resides.  If your marriage is solemnized as per the rites and customs of Muslim Law, then the divorce proceedings can be initiated by Talaq procedure as per your personal law.  Next, after your filing of divorce, she will certainly retaliate by filing DV case, Section 498-A case and S.125 maintenance case.  But you should prepare yourself to meet these challenges, because after all it is your life also and how long a partner in marriage can be cowed down under the threat of criminal law?

Prabhakar - Advocate

(M)9958670740.