hostel issue

1. We got MCD in the year 2008 Jan. I am single. He got married again.

My take: Thank you now the thread has become clear.

2. I  had a dummy advocated appointed by his advocate

My take: Ok, understood a proxy advocate curtsey him. But, it was not necessary as a common Advocate can be hired by both petitioners to MCD.

3. If i claim for maintenance now am i eligible? will it effect custody? he earns more than 1.5lakh per month

My take: Depending on your education / working not working and his ability / income the "compensation" can be decided by competent Court. No. it will not affect custody suit at all.

4. I am sending my child in my ex husbands home every week in my hometown. But my ex husband lives in another metro. So only 4 times a year he meets his son...since he works there

My take: If you are following the terms and conditions of visitation and he meets the child 4 times a year then you should not be panicky about good boarding school issues. Infact you will get more choice to meet child during longer vacations and middle vacations too and since he is meeting 4 times a year so probably he may not change his style which you only can answer.

5. I agreed at that point of time as situation was different. He verbally told me child will stay with me...he would like to have live in relationship with me. When i denied within 6 months he filed for custody...then now hostel..

My take: You know the situation at that time and there is no need to tell all here in a public forum what was that compelling reason so I leave it just like that. Concerning live in relationship kindly read my thoughts in such situation cooly i.e. if couples not in better relationship and marriage on docks then better to part calmly using MCD (as you both exactly did) and remain "friends" since a child is also there. Probably he meant that and since he being from Mars and your ladyship from Venus it got lost into translation, however, I will resist further says here for the sake of public forum modesty. Now, just because you refused and such refusal followed with MCD and now when time for good boarding house comes you should also think aloud that you remained single till now whereas the man who was once your husband after offering live in to ex wife choose to quickly got remarried and also sired a child out of second marriage so there may be some communication gap somewhere which only you two can sort out amicably (chances are there because I as a neutral person don't see some masalas in between you two so far) and I am still doubtful on "custody petition motive" because so far whatever briefs you gave I don't see if both of you agreed anywhere as to who will have the physical custody and who will get visitation I mean sub para wise so may be in my opinion he just want the child to be put in a good boarding school as fulfillment of his agreement of MCD part and will still be OK with 4 times a year visitation part.

Now you may if you like tell what are his "specific" PRAYER (only prayer part) paras in his presently filed custody suit so that some more clarity may come on this thread to make further comment if you may like so.

Also you may tell if you both still in reasonable good talking terms, I suppose you both are because there are those "masalas" still missing from all these replies so far so I am making a wild guess which I know I am not supposed to make but kabhi kabhi chalega..... !

Anything else to resolve this good boarding school apprehensions !

prabhakar is ho high in his/ her eyes that he can even insult Justice Dhingra ji. hes a great lawyer indeed.

Indraniji,

I have gone through your entire posts.  Those many particulars are not necessary to give legal advice.  My opinion after going through your entire narration has not changed, for the following reasons:

1.  The child is only about 5 years age.  At this age the child needs mother care than any thing else.  He does not deserve hostel.

2.  You are independent and having sufficient financial position to meet the expenses of the child irrespective of whether you receive or not to receive the maintenance of Rs.3,500/- per month, which according to you, is a petty amount. 

3.  You can afford to send your child in the neighbourhood standard school and you require to give such an undertaking to the court.

4.  You are, according to you, not going to marry again and want to spend entire time except his school hours with him.

5.  The child's father and his parents are provided visitation rights to satisfy them.

6.  The most important thing is that he has his own wife and the child out of her and is living very cozily with them and filed a petition to separate the child from the mother.

7.  The other offer he made to you and you refused and he filed this petition.

8.  At the time of MCD, your advocate was engaged by him.  It is not a strange case.  In several cases, this happens.

9.  The court's primary consideration is the welfare of the child. It does not give importance to the provisions of MCD relating to custody of child for the reason that the parting partners, in a hurry to separate, do several things in the long time are not in the interest of the child.

I hope I clarified every thing.  Wish you best of luck. 

My dear mr. arun,

Generally I do not participate in such discussions where word to word reply is required.  I avoid to fight despite receiving bruises, as I cannot afford that much of time and energy.  But on this topic of child custody, some misunderstanding required to be clarified.  That is why I am respondig.  Please note that whatever may be your response on this, I will not respond again not out of arrogance but due to the above said reason.  Now, I try to clarify the things:

Now, concerning opressive clauses in an Agreement for that there is no need to comment that they are benefecial or not just because neither your kindself was probably her ld. Advocate nor I was there and not even a Court can direct such clauses in such voluntary agreements of a MCD couple.

One need not to be representing the party to the agreement to categorize a particular clause is oppressive or not.  At the age of 5, despite the availability of mother, sending a child to boarding school, on the ground that she agreed for that at the time of MCD, is oppressive, it is my opinion. 


Further don't you think when you say about 5 + years stuff that you being ld. Advocate should raise this adamently before your own Courts and I think you failed there so you should not suggest such failures to general public. Here I also mean to say that have you ever filed an RTI on just this statutory provision and have ever filed a PIL takign this grounds. Now these are not remarks but a professional sharing so if you take these as frustration then it is your understanding not mine. That is the difference between professionals like you and me on just this point. I have taken such points numbe rof times with Judiciary not only in my own case but people known around me also took the cue and are continously takign just one of these points with Judiciary and yes results will come but it will come slowly. Had lumineries like your goodself knowing well these loopholes taken in right time you could not have afforded to say such in a public forum. 

This is the paragraph, that actually provoked me to respond to your post.  I am very, very happy with the hon'ble Supreme Court and various High Courts' decisions, where the child's interest is taken as paramount.  You have got wrong impression that I am frustrated.  It is not so.  I am very cheerful as far the trend in the child custody is concerned. The courts ignored the rights of mothers and fathers equally and kept the child's interest into consideration and that approach warms my heart.  That is what I call "justice" and the courts should deliver "justice" and not "declaration of law".  What I said was that even the Act enacted by the Parliament is to be interpreted by the court, in the case of child custody, the courts have drawn their own law.  The Supreme Court has got its own power under Article 142 and the High Courts under S. 482, S. 151, Article 226 circumvented the law to deliver justice.  As per the statute, after 5 years, the father is the natural guardian.  But the courts have not interpreted in such a way and kept the child in the custody of the mother, till the child can clearly express his opinion.  During this period, only visitation rights are permitted to the father.  Once the custody petition comes before the court, the child would be taken in judge's chamber and the judge elicits the response of the child after finding that the child is competent to understand these things.  The child's wishes are well adhered.  There may be exceptions for this, but the general trend that is being followed, I narrated.  About the single judge's decisin from Delhi High Court, I requested you to see whether the similar facts are existing in the decided cases, where the child custody was involved and  where there was a provision that after 5 years, the child had to be sent to hostel despite father and mother are surviving and mother is willing to keep the child.  You did not quote any thing in your subsequent postings.  Never mind, I am not insisting for the same.  If  I say, a single judge's decision is not ultimate in India and a single judge's decision is appealable before the division bench and the division bench's decision is appealable to Supreme Court, is it a blasphemy ?(This last line is not addressed to you and the person who is humming since last night as if I did a sin and you used an appropriate word "do not instigate" in serious and sensitive discussion).

Well, I now understood what your advise means and say yes if we give advise based on what Law says then it is OK upto that point and here we means a advise coming from a ld. Advocate and if we go beyond that and add 'sentiments" / "emotions" then it is not administrative duty and that is where your message got interpreted by me in totally different note. But since you covered it up preaty well in subsequent message on what made you remark in such way I appreciate and close this matter atleast from my end.

Sincerely I could not understand this last paragraph.  Never mind, I do not want any further clarification.

Before ending this post I want to say one thing, you invite me for my comments on several things and I really appreciate your invitation and really I respect you for this, but again I say that I cannot afford for long conversations and long comments.  I have a cause to fulfill and I know you have a cause to fulfill. 

Wish you very very happy life.

@ Sh Prabhakar,

Good, on that note I say I now understood your path and I am honored to know that you have understod my path too and our respective thoughts will crossover in days to come till my acount is not deleted here. Wish you best wishes once again.


@ Indrani,
I close this discussion as enough have been said by various repliers till now and if you still wish to know some more then just hire a professional brain he  / she will guide you further and or other repliers may comment if they wish to.

sir i am mohammed

I am senior student (decent) in the hostel ,but having lot of trouble by other senior from past 4 month like teasing whenever they see me writting bad names on toilet room about me and today at night 1.15am they started to hit my door pour water in my room when i open my windows to see who are they they were ready with bucket of water and they through whole room with water all my text book,bed are wet and cloths

they also had bitten some junior student at late night but hostel management given there support

i want to take them to police want to teach some lesson to them

i want to know under which case i can file and also how days they will get  the jailed......

plz reply

1) first you inform your gurdians.

2) you simply go to police station and complain in writing and get a receipt of it.

3) inform college and hostel administration.in writing and get a receipt of it.

take the matter seriously. murder happened in some cases. i hope you are alone there.

Every student has some issues in his hostel. It is very difficult to find the best hostel in this era. We can provide you the best hostel booking sites that are trusted and of the best quality.

I know I am too late but my only intention is how is your child is everything well and happy