it all depends of the person's income and standard of living he or she is enjoying that shall be the basis for deciding u/s 125 of cr p c.
dr g balakrishnan (advocate/counsel supreme court) 24 November 2014
it all depends of the person's income and standard of living he or she is enjoying that shall be the basis for deciding u/s 125 of cr p c.
fighting back (exec) 24 November 2014
@samir....but going by the facts of the story presented by the author, she is earning enough for her livelihood and shelter, and what CRPC 125 is meant to be is: to protect the woman from being destitute, as per the the author, she is earning more than rs 50000, then why would the judge allow more maintainence.? going by the law of 125, which is made to cover the basic needs of a destitute woman, so wont 50000 suffice for a living?
Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 24 November 2014
@Swati, maintenance proceedings, like any other proceedings, should be handled patiently, Too many litigants/advocates rush towards final arguments. To answer your question, from a legal perspective, do NOT ask your husband to produce any bank or credit card documents because that would be clearly unreliable. What you need to do is to FILE AN APPLICATION TO HAVE THE COURT ISSUE A SUMMON to the bank officers of banks/financial organizations where he has different accounts/credit cards and the summons should state that they should bring all records of your husband over the last ??? years to date. Include all banks/financial institutions where you know/suspect that he has some form of an account. You will get accurate and up to date records which the Court will be satisfied with because they will be coming from a disinterested (unbiased) party (the bank officer). You can have such summons issued to all sources of income/expenses/employers to put the financial picture in proper perspective. This will require some intellectual approach to presenting the numbers - Almost tantamount to data mining. Your conclusion about his life style cannot be based upon raw numbers but putting the pieces of the puzzle together to lead the court to one conclusion: His lifestyle is MUCH higher than yours.
With respect to my friends who have commented above, I think that they are also right. That is the funny aspect of the law of maintenance. There are conflicting views and even judgements and one has to pick and choose the one that suits one. However, courts are bound to be moved when they see a huge disparity in the lifestyle of the husband and wife. The absolute value of the wife's earning at that point is not as important as the relative difference in their earnings. A good advocate for the wife will emphasize the disparity and claim that she is entitled to a living standard that is comparable to her husband. A good advocate for the husband will argue that she is earning enough to maintain herself. So, what will swing the Judge's order in the wife's favor? Solid evidence that there is a marked imbalance in their relative lifestyle and that the wife's earnings cannot provide her the comforts that she was used to and that he is enjoying. When I say solid evidence, I mean evidence based upon records provided by disinterested officers/persons. Disinterested is a very emphatic word in the world of law. Issuance of summons to collect evidence goes a long way in supporting your arguments.
Just an example: let us say that one of the Ambanis file for a divorce. Will the husband be able to get away without paying any maintenance, if the wife is earning, say Rs. 2 lakhs per month? Clearly not.
Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 24 November 2014
I type extremely fast so do not be too impressed by the length of my response...
swati (hhhhhh) 25 November 2014
Hello Guys,
I really appreciate all the views and opinions put forward by all of you. I was advised by Adv. Kalaiselvan that I should ask for maintenance for my son only under Sec 125 and not for myself.
As far as standard of living is concerned we used to have a driver while we were together and he used to drop me to my office but now I cannot afford to keep a driver so this can go against my husband as well.
Frankly my goal is not just greed but to secure the future of my son atleast to some extent which is actually the duty and responsibility of my husband as well but he is trying to run away from it. And I know him so well, he is selfish man...... imagine he buys clothing and perfumes worth Rs.25000 for himself but doesn't bother to even buy a Rs.200 t-shirt for his own son. I cannot depend on him thinking that one day he will wake up and think about my son's future. May be he would but it might be too late by that time.
Once my son's future is secured so tomorrow if god forbid something happens to me or I am unable to work atleast I wont have to worry about my son nor he would have to depend on anyone else. I know there will be lot of people who will say ok why do you want to think about all this.... your son will be fine and he will be ok..... but I am mom and cannot just let this happen to my son. We give birth to kids, they dont ask us to..... so it is our foremost responsibility to make sure we secure their life atleast as much as is possible for us.
If I dont do anything for him now.......may be when my son grows up he might blame me as well for ruining his life as well besides his own dad..... wont he?
Thanks
Swati
Pritam (manager) 25 November 2014
My wife was earning before filling divorce not as good as Swati. She left her job and after a month filed divorce because I didn't want her to visit her parents everyday for hours. I make 2 lacs per month still my wife's maintenance was denied as my lawyer argued on the basis of unable to maintain which is under section 125. So all those who think that husband's salary counts, his life style counts then they need to think once again.my wife makes now only 25,000 a month. I do not give her anything. As law says if she cannot maintain herself then only judge can approve her maintenance. Yes child should get maintenance but if you go with an argument which Samir mentioned then husband can say keep son with me and you leave. You definitely won't do that but still ask money. Your husband's lawyer is not fool either. He may have sent restitution letter too so that you return to your home. If you don't return without DV case which you have to file within first year then you cannot complain about husband's life style.
Samir in other thread mentioned how he fooled his wife then why give false hopes to every woman. Do you think her husband is not reading all your ideas and planning his strategies ? Let her build her own identity instead of begging money from her husband. Is she going to make 50,000/ month lifetime? On changing job is she going to ask same salary? If she is too desperate for money then try MCD. I do not believe her story. Her husband cannot buy 200 rupees shirt for his own son. He may have bought 5000 rupees shirt but lady wants sympathy. If she will ask for husband's account and from her account she is spending only 10,000 out of 50000 and still claims unable to maintain then she will enjoy perjury just like my wife is going to enjoy soon.
if Swati is very versatile person the her husband may claim that she has extra source of income as she takes tuition at home and doesn't show her income. Her lawyer will argue that judge should order her tax documents.
swati (hhhhhh) 25 November 2014
Pritam.... You said you are not paying a single dime to your wife but you didnt mention anything about your kid. Are you not paying anything for your kid or is your kid with you?
Pritam...may be you are a level headed person but I know my husband is not and that is the reason why I am here seeking all views and opinions.
In my case, my husband will not ask for my son's custody b'se he himself is living with his own 82+ years old parents in my MIL's self acquired flat and if he asks to keep his son with him....his own mom is going to throw him out b'se she herself is already fed up with her own son's attitude and style of living. My 48 year old husband spends money like crazy on credit cards & his own parents have ended up paying the credit card bills from their own pension money they get. And this has happened many times before....
Even before all this started I had asked my MIL to throw him out from their own home but her ego didnt let her listen to the advice I had given her just b'se I am her daughter-in-law. My husband has been a nuisance his whole life to everyone....even his own parents so I am pretty sure my MIL's patience is almost going to end soon....
Thanks
Swati
Originally posted by : Pritam | ||
![]() |
My wife was earning before filling divorce not as good as Swati. She left her job and after a month filed divorce because I didn't want her to visit her parents everyday for hours. I make 2 lacs per month still my wife's maintenance was denied as my lawyer argued on the basis of unable to maintain which is under section 125. So all those who think that husband's salary counts, his life style counts then they need to think once again.my wife makes now only 25,000 a month. I do not give her anything. As law says if she cannot maintain herself then only judge can approve her maintenance. Yes child should get maintenance but if you go with an argument which Samir mentioned then husband can say keep son with me and you leave. You definitely won't do that but still ask money. Your husband's lawyer is not fool either. He may have sent restitution letter too so that you return to your home. If you don't return without DV case which you have to file within first year then you cannot complain about husband's life style. Samir in other thread mentioned how he fooled his wife then why give false hopes to every woman. Do you think her husband is not reading all your ideas and planning his strategies ? Let her build her own identity instead of begging money from her husband. Is she going to make 50,000/ month lifetime? On changing job is she going to ask same salary? If she is too desperate for money then try MCD. I do not believe her story. Her husband cannot buy 200 rupees shirt for his own son. He may have bought 5000 rupees shirt but lady wants sympathy. If she will ask for husband's account and from her account she is spending only 10,000 out of 50000 and still claims unable to maintain then she will enjoy perjury just like my wife is going to enjoy soon. if Swati is very versatile person the her husband may claim that she has extra source of income as she takes tuition at home and doesn't show her income. Her lawyer will argue that judge should order her tax documents. |
![]() |
swati (hhhhhh) 25 November 2014
Pritam..... I just read your post carefully.... you and your wife got divorce just b'se she was spending time with her parents everyday for hours.
Is this even a reasonable reason to take divorce?
Originally posted by : Pritam | ||
![]() |
My wife was earning before filling divorce not as good as Swati. She left her job and after a month filed divorce because I didn't want her to visit her parents everyday for hours. I make 2 lacs per month still my wife's maintenance was denied as my lawyer argued on the basis of unable to maintain which is under section 125. So all those who think that husband's salary counts, his life style counts then they need to think once again.my wife makes now only 25,000 a month. I do not give her anything. As law says if she cannot maintain herself then only judge can approve her maintenance. Yes child should get maintenance but if you go with an argument which Samir mentioned then husband can say keep son with me and you leave. You definitely won't do that but still ask money. Your husband's lawyer is not fool either. He may have sent restitution letter too so that you return to your home. If you don't return without DV case which you have to file within first year then you cannot complain about husband's life style. Samir in other thread mentioned how he fooled his wife then why give false hopes to every woman. Do you think her husband is not reading all your ideas and planning his strategies ? Let her build her own identity instead of begging money from her husband. Is she going to make 50,000/ month lifetime? On changing job is she going to ask same salary? If she is too desperate for money then try MCD. I do not believe her story. Her husband cannot buy 200 rupees shirt for his own son. He may have bought 5000 rupees shirt but lady wants sympathy. If she will ask for husband's account and from her account she is spending only 10,000 out of 50000 and still claims unable to maintain then she will enjoy perjury just like my wife is going to enjoy soon. if Swati is very versatile person the her husband may claim that she has extra source of income as she takes tuition at home and doesn't show her income. Her lawyer will argue that judge should order her tax documents. |
![]() |
Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 25 November 2014
I hope that discussions are limited to the query posed and a few personal experiences may be cited. Claiming that "Samir in other thread mentioned how he fooled his wife then why give false hopes to every woman" is a totally inaccurate statement. I have NEVER stated any time that I fooled my wife (now ex-wife) for the simple reason that I did not do so. Therefore, please refrain from such unneeded and certainly inaccurate personal attacks. In one thread, some woman claimed to be my ex-wife! I have parted with my ex-wife on amicable terms and we have moved on without any further interaction or need for further interaction. It was an acrimonious litigation but I am proud that I was able to bring it to an amicable resolution. Merely winning litigation in matrimonial affairs should not be the only goal. Against this background, making statements that I have said that I fooled my wife is outrageous, to say the least.
Maintenance is a broad topic and those who are in court in this area needs to have all the knowledge and experience of those who have crossed that bridge. It is for the readers to analyze the various opinions and come to a decision on what is the appropriate strategy for them.
Pritam (manager) 26 November 2014
@Samir,
Please refer to your activity log. You will get an answer. All your recent comments on maintenance to all the working women bothers me as they can maintain themselves. All the tricks will get them in trouble. You have gone through this process. You know very well that most women lie to get maintenance. If they have less education then I can understand. Someone who is fluent in English can make money at call centers too. Please help them to understand their potential rather than making them professional beggars.
@ Swati,
if your husband is living at mercy of your MIL then how can you object about his life style? Are you giving him access to child as per high court guidelines ( 2hours everyday and 4 hours on Saturday and Sunday plus public holidays and on child's birthday )? If not then even child maintenance will get in trouble. No child access no child maintenance. Your son needs his father it doesn't matter you like it or not. Please do not ruin his future for money and to satisfy your ego. Could you please let us know how much did you lie by saying your husband doesn't spend even Rs. 200 on his son?
My wife wanted me to support her parents financially as her brother's wife wasn't interested in taking care of them. After financial help she wanted to visit them 5-6 hours daily. If my mother cooks for us when she is not around then she doesn't like. One day she had argument with my mother and abused her in filthy language so my parents complain to her parents but obviously they won't like it so she took drastic step. I just told her to apologize and move on but she prefers to stay with her parents so good bye from my side. I let her file divorce first as I can argue on the basis of wife deserted husband. Thanks to social media , I got proof of her current life style. It was sufficient to prove that she can maintain herself and she has money from other sources for which she has not paid taxes. Now that her maintenance got rejected twice she wants to compromise with MCD. Before MCD I want her to taste perjury. She cannot file 498A as money has gone from my account by cheque to her parents.
UniteFamilies (Social Worker) 26 November 2014
Did you write in your petition how much youmake and how much your husband makes? Did you mention maintenance amount for you and your child? If yes then only child may get amount which you had asked for. You are not eligible.
Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 26 November 2014
@Pritam, you accuse me of admitting that I "fooled" my wife. Whatever my previous posts be, nowhere have I even implied so, let alone stated so expressly. At most, I was aggressively pro-male in my earlier posts. I have started advising women recently because I find the forum to be too pro-male for its own good. I do not advocate "tricks" of any kind. I just provide an intelligent approach to the application of relevant law. Readers are free to ignore my comments. Your conclusions about my posts are totally out of line. And no, merely working in a call center need not be sufficient to maintain the same standard as one's husband and especially when one has a child whose living standard also needs to be the same as his father's. Let us agree to disagree and leave it at that but do not make factually incorrect conclusions on my posts which put me in an undeserved negative light. As I said, I do not participate to make friends. However, at the same time I prefer not to create adverse relationships.
swati (hhhhhh) 26 November 2014
Pritam,
Frankly you don't know me and my husband so your comment that I am lying doesn't make any sense. You are making comments as if you know me very well. So lets keep personal comments off this forum.
Your comments "professional beggars" is very unacceptable on this forum, b'se not every wife is in the same boat as your wife.
BTW imagine a daughter-in-law telling her own MIL to throw her son (my husband) out of MIL's house b'se he is a nuisance to everyone. If my MIL would have done that, today I wouldn't be on this forum. But you know what..... it is a tradition to not consider a daughter-in-law as a daughter and think of her suggestions as if they are given by a daughter. Had this situation been happening with my MIL's daughter she would have supported her 101%.
My husband himself doesnt want to come and stay with us and he is meeting our son as per his own wish..... I have never restricted him but he just chooses to live his life as per his will.
As far as your explanation about why you had a divorce with your wife I guess you had a genuine reason from your point of view.
But from a woman's point of view......... why many men and mother-in-laws fail to understand that a woman leaves everything behind when she gets married? Why can they never consider the wife's family as a part of their own family? I have a relative whose in-laws are so nice that they invite her parents to come and stay at their family home with them for weeks sometimes. Her in-laws also have told her to give them some part of the money she earns to her parents. You hardly find in-laws with such nice attitude.
Imagine what if it the tradition was other way around........... Men had to leave everything behind and go and live at the woman's home with her parents after marriage.......... JUST IMAGINE.
Swati
Originally posted by : Pritam | ||
![]() |
@Samir, Please refer to your activity log. You will get an answer. All your recent comments on maintenance to all the working women bothers me as they can maintain themselves. All the tricks will get them in trouble. You have gone through this process. You know very well that most women lie to get maintenance. If they have less education then I can understand. Someone who is fluent in English can make money at call centers too. Please help them to understand their potential rather than making them professional beggars. @ Swati, if your husband is living at mercy of your MIL then how can you object about his life style? Are you giving him access to child as per high court guidelines ( 2hours everyday and 4 hours on Saturday and Sunday plus public holidays and on child's birthday )? If not then even child maintenance will get in trouble. No child access no child maintenance. Your son needs his father it doesn't matter you like it or not. Please do not ruin his future for money and to satisfy your ego. Could you please let us know how much did you lie by saying your husband doesn't spend even Rs. 200 on his son? My wife wanted me to support her parents financially as her brother's wife wasn't interested in taking care of them. After financial help she wanted to visit them 5-6 hours daily. If my mother cooks for us when she is not around then she doesn't like. One day she had argument with my mother and abused her in filthy language so my parents complain to her parents but obviously they won't like it so she took drastic step. I just told her to apologize and move on but she prefers to stay with her parents so good bye from my side. I let her file divorce first as I can argue on the basis of wife deserted husband. Thanks to social media , I got proof of her current life style. It was sufficient to prove that she can maintain herself and she has money from other sources for which she has not paid taxes. Now that her maintenance got rejected twice she wants to compromise with MCD. Before MCD I want her to taste perjury. She cannot file 498A as money has gone from my account by cheque to her parents. |
![]() |
Varun (engineer) 26 November 2014
I was following this thread and could not stop to comment ( I am not lawyer just a common man). @Swati Practical life specially law does not run on imagination. India have society where woman comes to live with husband. And believe me there is reason for every society rule and for this rule too. Why woman differ when it comes ti her brother and her husband. If you ask for equality then why not imagine husband getting share from in-law inhertiable property. It is not society rule and good reason for this also. Society evolve seeing so much turmoil AND we should not come one day questioning basic rule of society ( I agree we should be modern in outlook and should change). if woman has different expectation then why they do not they tell before marriage. Woman ask for equal status they why they ask money even if they can live with their own money. And in last, nowdays man also leave parents , city and friend for career and family.
Originally posted by : swati |
||
![]() |
Pritam, Frankly you don't know me and my husband so your comment that I am lying doesn't make any sense. You are making comments as if you know me very well. So lets keep personal comments off this forum. Your comments "professional beggars" is very unacceptable on this forum, b'se not every wife is in the same boat as your wife. BTW imagine a daughter-in-law telling her own MIL to throw her son (my husband) out of MIL's house b'se he is a nuisance to everyone. If my MIL would have done that, today I wouldn't be on this forum. But you know what..... it is a tradition to not consider a daughter-in-law as a daughter and think of her suggestions as if they are given by a daughter. Had this situation been happening with my MIL's daughter she would have supported her 101%. My husband himself doesnt want to come and stay with us and he is meeting our son as per his own wish..... I have never restricted him but he just chooses to live his life as per his will. As far as your explanation about why you had a divorce with your wife I guess you had a genuine reason from your point of view. But from a woman's point of view......... why many men and mother-in-laws fail to understand that a woman leaves everything behind when she gets married? Why can they never consider the wife's family as a part of their own family? I have a relative whose in-laws are so nice that they invite her parents to come and stay at their family home with them for weeks sometimes. Her in-laws also have told her to give them some part of the money she earns to her parents. You hardly find in-laws with such nice attitude. Imagine what if it the tradition was other way around........... Men had to leave everything behind and go and live at the woman's home with her parents after marriage.......... JUST IMAGINE. Swati Originally posted by : Pritam @Samir, Please refer to your activity log. You will get an answer. All your recent comments on maintenance to all the working women bothers me as they can maintain themselves. All the tricks will get them in trouble. You have gone through this process. You know very well that most women lie to get maintenance. If they have less education then I can understand. Someone who is fluent in English can make money at call centers too. Please help them to understand their potential rather than making them professional beggars. @ Swati, if your husband is living at mercy of your MIL then how can you object about his life style? Are you giving him access to child as per high court guidelines ( 2hours everyday and 4 hours on Saturday and Sunday plus public holidays and on child's birthday )? If not then even child maintenance will get in trouble. No child access no child maintenance. Your son needs his father it doesn't matter you like it or not. Please do not ruin his future for money and to satisfy your ego. Could you please let us know how much did you lie by saying your husband doesn't spend even Rs. 200 on his son? My wife wanted me to support her parents financially as her brother's wife wasn't interested in taking care of them. After financial help she wanted to visit them 5-6 hours daily. If my mother cooks for us when she is not around then she doesn't like. One day she had argument with my mother and abused her in filthy language so my parents complain to her parents but obviously they won't like it so she took drastic step. I just told her to apologize and move on but she prefers to stay with her parents so good bye from my side. I let her file divorce first as I can argue on the basis of wife deserted husband. Thanks to social media , I got proof of her current life style. It was sufficient to prove that she can maintain herself and she has money from other sources for which she has not paid taxes. Now that her maintenance got rejected twice she wants to compromise with MCD. Before MCD I want her to taste perjury. She cannot file 498A as money has gone from my account by cheque to her parents. |
![]() |