Husband's extramarital affair

Dear Shivali,

What are the evidences he had submitted to prove your cruelty and desertion? That plays vital role in the divorce case.

But Yes..These messages will really help to you prove that he has treated you badly with the intention to send you out and get married to that girl. That's why he filled divorse. You can prove that your decertion is due to his harrasment and still you want to save the marriage. So your side is strong and your husband will not get divorce  if you proceed your case with a good advocate. A women or a man having affair before divorce is Adultary. That point you can strongly mention in your petition. All the best.

Dear Shivali,

What are the evidences he had submitted to prove your cruelty and desertion? That plays vital role in the divorce case.

But Yes..These messages will really help to you prove that he has treated you badly with the intention to send you out and get married to that girl. That's why he filled divorse. You can prove that your decertion is due to his harrasment and still you want to save the marriage. So your side is strong and your husband will not get divorce  if you proceed your case with a good advocate. A women or a man having affair before divorce is Adultary. That point you can strongly mention in your petition. All the best.

@ vinu..thanks for responding..... he has not attached any evidence......nothing at all.......... rather i have a proof with me that in actual he asked me to leave my matrimonial home......i never wanted to leave.......... he has stated falsely that i left my matrimonial home on my own........ but am ready to stay with him amnd save our marriage......... but he has abused me immensely on messages and he disclosed about his affair......... so lets see......... judge has asked his lawyer to make my hubby appear on the next hearing...he wants to know why my husband wants a divorce......but am sure he will not come......lets see....

@ venkatesh: thanks for the reply........settlement in what sense ?? i don't want  a divorce....... can i show these messages while filing a reply to my hubby's petition ?? or they will be of no use since i don't want a divorce

Hi shivali, no need to show the message while filing the petition itself. Initially you can mention that have such messages. If asked to produce it you can.That will be good enough to break his false statments.

ok vinu........thanks a lot gor guiding so well......... but i have also done a mistake.....

i exchanged few msgs vth my hubby.....following is the list....please tell if anything against me or anything against him: i wrote " tell your parents to come in the court and accept the reality that the forced u to marry me just to save expenses..den v vl decide our destiny in the mediation.....he said it means u r ready to divorce me..? i said wah yaar..i hv told u 1000 times that i will not gv a divorce..but tumhe sunaayi nahi dia..and aaj ek baar mein mediation wali baat sunaayi de gayi....he said get lost u b*tch....i said november mein mere maintenance k arrears ready rakhiyo..ab court tujhe batayegi ki pati ka farz kya hota hai.....he said u are very aggressive.....bhaag do takke ki b*tch..saali prostitute....sadak pe nanga kar dunga tujhe....i said ab mera sadak pe rehne ka tym khatam..jab mera maintenance fix hoga tab main shopping karungi....tab main mazey karungi.....tere paise se new rent k ghar mein rahungi.... he said tujhe ek paisa nahi milega....hamesha ki tarah muh ki khayegi tu..... i said iska matlab tum khush ho biwi ko road pe chordke? tuney court mein aisa kyun portray kia hai jaise main ainvayi maintenance mangri hun..jabki reality is ki tuney mujhe road pe chorda tab maine maint manga....iska matlab u hv neglected me wilfully..bad.... please tell will these msgs go against me ? maintenance wali baat was out of frustration

It is all a great piece of evidence. Though there it's a not a crime having an extra marital affair, but that would defeat his claim for divorce as the court won't lend it's aid to one who has been guilty himself. The theory of matrimonial bars S.23 Hindu Marriage Act is attracted.

@bharat.....ok thanks a lot........ am equaly worried for the messages sent by me........ wen i said "keep the maintenance arrears ready.....i will do shopping...will shift to a new rent place with your money.....teri jeb dheeli honey wali hai...." am really scared.....i shudn't hv said that

Are u sure he has preserved ur smses in original format??? No point to worry for u even if its so, coz asking for maint n using that money at ur sweet will is all legal.

ya..he must have......... he will not leave any chance to disclose my messages too

1. You have weak “secondary evidences” whose stage will come at the fag end of progressing suit till that time they are of no use.
2. Follow Court procedures to rebut his suit in meantime.
3. He may get divorce if he proves his allegations para.
4. If you are educated and working then you will not get any mainteance.

@ ranee: thanks for reminding me that.....

@tajobs: am not working....i have never worked after marriage..... i have done mba...... i used to work before marriage..... it means pati ghar se nikaalde....toh bhi wife hee job karey......main toh apney sasural mein rehna chahti hun.... iska matlab pati ki koi responsibility hai hee nai....... am just worried for messages jo maine apne pati ko bheje hain......sab gussey mein bheje the...... i think i shudn't hv said"maintenanace ready rakhiyo.....teri jeb dheeli honey wali hai....main bhi shopping karungi....and tere paise se rent k ghar pe rahungi" i did a big mistake........ but that was out of anger wen he abused me and threatened to kill me.........

@Shivali,

What do you want out of marriage ?? When marriage fights goes to court its not only one party who is suffering. Suffering / pain is for both parties and gain for advocates. From the messages exchanged i feel feeling is dead from both sides.

I have seen plenty of cases (personally) where even after execution of maintenance court order, husbands have prefered to go to jail instead of paying maintenance. So do not have wrong perception that you would always get money. There are plenty of judgements where maintenance to wife is denied if she is qualified and have worked earlier. MBA seems to be post graduate qualification comes under highly qualified person who can get job easily.

If one side has decided to end marriage, better to end it gracefully instead of fighting out infinitely in the court is what my personal opinion is.