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mani (owner)     12 September 2013

Second marriage

Dear all,  i  have gone through many websites, advocates and discussions but found no answer to my questions. i hope i will get it here. This is about second marriage. my wife is a very much simple girl who knows not much about the world. phsycatrist say that she lacks personality development. she is like a child. you can call her of less mind. i don't want to complaint anyone for this. all i want is to go for a second marriage with one who is ready to adjust with these circumstances and take care of my child too. no law is allowing me for that. but if i was a muslim i was allowed to do that. why is this not allowed to Hindus as was done some many years back. people use to have more than one marriage thought they were hindus.

     people nowadays marry one and keep relations with many, that is ok with the society. that is a fashion. i want to settle my life, my family and everyone. i don't want to cheat anyone but there is no law for this for Hindus. Why?

When we live in same country then why is different laws for different religions? Is this Democracy? Please help me



Learning

 4 Replies

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     12 September 2013

to avoid some unavoidable the laws was framed well before

so in your case also you cannot marry leaving your child means no law will give you permission to marry second time without divorceing your first wife except with the permission of your first wife that say you want kids and she cannot give you so with the permission of the same you are marrying second time 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     12 September 2013

It is a man who always tries seeking proverbial mirage ignoring the goodies good he already has…………

1.    All facts mentioned in your brief are no ground to seek second wife or live-in or disown them or look towards others Personal Laws.

2.    Democracy does not mean on whims – fancies one takes – leaves spouse just because previous one is simpleton and not upto as one wished for post once marriage. The stage of such wishful thinking is past now for a fact one should have stood firm of what one is looking for in marriage before one marries and not after marriage. After marriage ‘adjustments’, ‘continuity’ and/or tweaking lifestyle changes in such facts are what once goes through.

3.    There are good – bad in each Personal laws, from outside each personal LAws looks rosy.  In olden days we did not codify our personal customs – traditions in matters of marriage, custody, alimony etc. It was in later days codified and what we have today under Hindu Laws still needs much tweaking but we are getting there and complaining about once personal Laws does not solve once immediate issues.  

4.    Discuss with present spouse if she would agree to you having second wife in a subsisting marriage under same roof. If she agrees and does not complaint and all her rights of being a legal wife is satisfied by you with fine balancing with second wife and society that you keep does not whisper much then you may jolly well search for the second one and see if she adjusts with first one and then all three live happily and for all these why complaint and look for answers from Law?

5.    Hence, advice is ‘don't pour away your water due to a mirage’.

Dr. Jyothi Vishwanath (Associate Professor of Law)     12 September 2013

Dont make the mistake of comparing hindu law with muslim law. Islam was revealed to the world in around 530 A.D. Before advent of Islam, there was no protection for the woman. Man was allowed to use her and throw her out at his wish without any protection, financial or otherwise.

In that scenario, Islam provided that a man can marry up to four. In one way this was like protection given to muslim woman against the society.

Same has continued till now.

This is not the case among the hindus.

Due to vote bank politics, it is very difficult to have same personal laws for persons of different religions in India.

So instead of worrying about all this, in your case either adjust with the present wife or if you want  to go for second marriage, divorce the first one and then marry.

You cannot carry on with two wives. It is civil wrong as well as a crime.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     12 September 2013

Dear Mr. Mani,

Its a bigamy and an offence punishable under criminal law.  If you have take care of your child, consider your wife also to be another child and take care of her instead of trying some illegal ideas.


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