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bp030987   28 February 2015

Seeking for your advice

Hello Sir,

        My name is sharmi. I got married 22-05-13. My husband is employed in one of the big MNC in india. Right now he is in UK for onsight. I was with him last feb ie till 28-02-14. after that against my wish my husband brought me here and he went back to UK without informing me.then he came for my delivery and told will take me back to UK within 3 months. But after that no information from him. No calls, No reply for msgs, Mails, Nothing.

In the 5th month i got a call from my husband demanding to stay with my inlaws else he will not continue the marriage life, after knowing they will harass me for dowry. I said no. After that, the same thing happened.No calls, No reply for msgs, Mails, Nothing from my husband.

In the 8th month,my both inlaws came to my home and grabbed my hand and pulled to take me to their home. On seeing this my father turned them out of the house.After that, the same thing happened.No calls, No reply for msgs, Mails, Nothing from my husband.

on the 11 month ie jan 2015, husband visited india for 20 days but didnt come to me or my son.Now i am planning to go for a job. then only realised my husband kept both my degree certificates with him to challenge me how she will go without her certificates. 

I asked his friends to return back my certificates. Now my husband is asking me to come to UK and not go for job.

Now my question is,

Am really afraid to go with him as he will mentally harass me and i dont want to break my marriage life. 

What are security measures that i can do for me and for my son before going UK, so that my husband will get afraid to continue mental harassment ??

More than 1 yr has got over since been in india, my husband is not giving maintenance for us ??

How can i handle this ?? Please advice me...



Learning

 8 Replies

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     28 February 2015

on what pretest he will harass you not mentioned in the query 

as since marriage your marriage may be happier only ting is you in laws are harassing for dowry but once family is expanded and with kids in the house every one minds set will change 

dont ever think of any legal action right now as he is asking you to come there go and live happy life with your kid and husband 

Advocate Kappil Cchandna (Expert Bail & Criminal Defence Lawyer at Delhi Supreme Court of India)     28 February 2015

Dear, I think you should go there once and see what is his behaviour and temperament.... Keep a good record of everything that happens there and if you can take your mother there along to keep a check on his behaviour for quite sometime .... Kapil Chandna Adv 9899011450

saravanan s (legal advisor)     28 February 2015

my advice would be go to uk and live with him.i feel that he wants to continue his life with u

bp030987   01 March 2015

Thanks a lot for your reply. I will tell you some points which I didn't mention earlier. He demands few things before taking me there. 1. He wants to change the name of my son 2. He wants to break my relationship with my parents. This one he didn't tell me directly but am saying like if I go with him, then he will never allow me to visit my parents. Since am not employed, I need to depend on him for all my expenses. He will never show money to me and always says what u think and what u do is not proper and he will make to act on his wish. For eg he will say before talking to me just think and speak. On hearing this words continuously from him I was thinking am not speaking properly and kept quiet for all his mental harassment, thinking like this s not harassment. I was believed him stupidly. But after came to India while seeing my behaviour my friends and family members got shocked because I was afraid for everything, even to for nearby shop alone. After getting to know everything, my father banged him nicely. He understood my parents came to know everything and now he is not ready to speak with them. He is torturing me to come and stay with him but he will not speak to any of my relatives or friends. Now my dad is asking him to bring any few of his relatives to give assurance that he will not harass my daughter and written assurance from him. He is not ready for anything and his relatives are not ready give for him and for his family. 2 days before while he was asking me to come, I lost my trust on u and asked him how I can believe u that u ll never do this again ??? I ll stay in India, u take care of me and my son. Once I got convinced on ur behaviour I will come with u. But he is telling he cant show his care when am away from him and will not support us financially till we are with my parents. Here only I felt he didn't change. He is pretending that he got changed but not. I guess, if i stand on my own with my job i will never mind him for anything. Somehow he got to know this and trying to put full stop for my career. By doing that he can dominant me till my life. I don't want this to happen. 3. All his relatives are saying my husband is his mom child, he will do whatever his mom says. Will ready to commit suicide if she says so. Now we got to know the reason behind all his act is my in law. Since they are financially depends on him. I can make them not interfere in my life by threatening my husband with some legal things. Since he got good reputation in his office, i feel like he will not be ready to lose that. He s doing everything to satisfy his mom. Kindly advice me.. Please

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     01 March 2015

For any mental or physical harassment met by wife from the husband, there is remedy in India.  You can file domestic violence case and take preventive relief from the court.  But these orders will not be helpful for you in foreign land.  There, you find out whether any law like domestic viiolence is there.  Because most of the developed nations adopted this law.  You have to find out by searching internet.  Once you will be sure that such a law is there and you can be protected from the financially resourced husband if he attempts to mentally or physically harass you, then you can think of going to U.K.  As you are intended to get maintenance for yourself and your child, file a maintenance petition under Section 125 cr.p.c. here in India.  It is always a predicament in the heart of every innocent girl and her parents that if any court case is filed (in their very hearts they know that there is no alternative except to approach the court), the relationship between the husband and wife will reach the irreparable impasse.  But, you know your husband and I also came to know about your husband by your above postings and by your father's insistence that your husband should give written assurance that he would not harass you abroad.  If there is any possibility that he would be coming back India for work, then play cool or if he would settle there, then file maintenance petition here in India.

bp030987   01 March 2015

before going UK, Can i write a letter like if something happens to me mentally or physically, the reason behind is my husband and his parents. I just want to threaten him that i know legal things and keeping quiet only thinking of my son's future.

Will that be helpful ??

Because he use to pretend that he is so caring in front his friends so that no one will believe my words. Now his friends cam to his true colour.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     01 March 2015

How can that help you to prevent from physical and mental harassment, if your husband intends to inflict upon you in U.K.?

bp030987   01 March 2015

My in laws will stay in India. That will affect them. My husband loves them a lot.. If he comes to know that will trouble them then he will keep quiet.. I need to put check mate to my in laws, so that my husband will automatically keep quiet. there is no other option. That's y

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