Harsh Tandon 25 December 2015

Want to end 10 months of marriage

I married in March 2015. She is a distant relative of my distant relative. Unfortunately, I misread her. She belongs to a feminist family which is dominated by her mother.

I live in a different city from my parents. From day 1 her mother has been interfering too much; asking about everything over the phone. Add to it that the mother daughter both are sympathy seeking, narcissistic persons. My wife is totally opposite of me. We have absolutely nothing in common. She is a spoiled child whereas I have been a very decent person all through my life. She has lied to me most of the times. I have tried my best in improving her lovingly but to no use. I did everything to make her happy but she is an expert in finding shortcomings. She has several times threatened me of moving out of this marriage in the six months we have spent together. By the end of six months, she and her family has maligned me by saying there's no physical relationship whatsoever between us and the boy is physically unfit. They have malinged my parents too that they have mentally tortured her for whatever short amount of time she has spent with them. Her parents came to our home, brought panchayat and did their best to insult all of us. They took their daughter with them forcibly expecting me to come next week to take her back. That was the day when I gave up on my marriage. I didn't go to bring her back.

Since last four months we are not together. They have spread all sorts of rumours about me and my mother in the whole community. One and a half month after her parents took her forcibly, she came to a nearby city, found a job and started working. I came to know this a month later. When I confronted her (over phone), she left the job silently but never confessed.

I want to get rid of my wife and we are scheduling a meeting with the girl's family. However, they are greedy people having no morals. Now they all are saying that she wants to stay with me. Her parents have also taken U-turn and are saying that they want this marriage to continue. Probably they want me to say No. Right now her parents and relatives want me to bring her back once. However, I can't trust her anymore. I fear that she can put even more serious allegations on us in near future.

What options I do have legally?
What should I say or not say, when we are meeting, so that things can't be used against me?
What should I say when people from her side shall be trying to convince me to take her with me?

Fed up from her attitude, I switched on call recording after 2 months of our marriage. However, I sometimes used to disable it inbetween. I took snapshots on my mobile of her differnt hostile whatsapp status between 4 months of our separation.

Thanks!

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4 Replies

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT) 25 December 2015

Domination of women in the household will certainly have an adverse impact in their sibblings marital life.(SEEN IN MANY CASES).But it left to the daughters to come out of it and adjust to the new atmosphere in the matrimonial home.Sometimes that dosen't happen leading to misunderstandings between the husband and the wife,ultimately both of them forced to live sepaately.The mother's are not bothered that their daughter's marital life is in danger,they expect pnly their ego's to persist.

That could be the reason in UR life too.Is there a chance for reconcialstion between both of U,instead of spoiling UR mafrital lives.My sincere advice is that both of U sit together alone and sort out the existing differences.If it is positive then U can start a new marital life,if in the negative then persue legal measures.

This is my opinion.Let the other legal experts too rrespond.

arjun 25 December 2015

Be alert probably they want to demand heavy alimony from u this must be sure shot. Just record everything use call recording hidden camera etc n dont call her back to ur house she might put serious allegations on u or your brother or parents File for div if required through mutual consent

Harsh Tandon 31 December 2015

@Sainath, there's no scope for reconcilliation left now. Things have become so ugly that there's nothing left. Their dark side is too dark for us. The girl's family have shown no morals and humanity.

I have taken a decision after thinking quite deeply and there's no reason I would take U-turn. I do not have any good memory about my marriage.

I would greatly appreciate if anyone could suggest how can I safeguard myself and my family right now.

Thanks

Harsh

jaig 01 January 2016

Wow, your situation sound pretty much like mine dude.

I think you have taken some very appropriate measures to collect the evidences, which will be useful going forward. Few points I'd like to add as I myself went through this:

[+] You said you take snapshot of WhatsApp - thats nor very effective, email the entire chat to yourself every few months. Ans dont loose the original phone you use for whatsapp.
[+] If you are using smartphone, always use the call recorder app, you can delete un-useful call records every few days. Don't disable it. You dont know which call will become useful.
[+] Collect evience of her working, insteand of confronting directly. Is she highly qualified ? Prior work experience ? You should have collected the evidence of her working instead of confronting.
[+] It seems to me that you are at the final stage of breakup. Act nice to her and other well-wishers, you should not reveal that you are thinking of taking legal step. Record eveything if you are not already doing so. Try to get them talking about things you can use in your favor. Can you buy a recorder when you go to meet her ? Last few days conversation would carry much weight as evidence.

I am no alwyer so can't give legal advice, but from what I learn, malicious wives mostly take the same path - DV and 498A. Maybe take anticipatory bail, for your parents. You said, you live in different city from your parents, how many days your wife stayed with your parents ? If there is no domestic relationship, implicating your parents in DV/498A will become weak on her part though. On your part I think you can file cruelty, but it will be hard to prove.

It is very easy to level allegations, and our legal system has give such an easy option to women of bringing harm to the husbands that hardly anyone can resist the temptation, and think that that the husband will be scared and come down to negotation table. But you should choose to fight on merits of the case. No false allegations are strong enough to sustain for long. So it is always difficult on husbands part.