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shujahath   09 June 2017

Wife wants to divorce and i dont

Sir/Madam,

I got married on January 2017 as per Musilim Customs. Before marriage i wasnt allowed to speak or meet with the girl in person. Although she was working as a lecturer, her dad told that as per customs boy and girl shouldnt talk before marriage. After Marriage slowly problems started as she began to find fault with me in all things that I should change my job, get house, increase my earnings and stop contacts with my friends. I was resistant to all these issues as i had explained my position clearly to the girl's parents before marriage. From february onwards she started creating big problems from small issues that i was coming home early from work and not working with a job as per my qualification. Since i was doing  joint business with my friend, even she complained that i am coming home late after meeting my friend. I explained clearly that since it was a joint business i have to discuss my business with friend. In March she suddenly said she wanted to join IAS coaching, my dad joined her in an institute and within a week of the class she started complaining that she is feeling stressful and wants to go to a psychiatrist, I suggested a pyschiatrist, suddenly she told she was not willing to come with me. All of a sudden one day his dad wanted to meet my friend , they met and he explained our position clealy and her dad was convinced about my position and he counselled her. Everything went fine for 2 days and when i touched her suddenly she slapped me and when i told this to her dad, he said she would have done it by accident. After a few days she said she was having stomach cramps and wanted to go to a doctor. I took her to the doctor where she told me to wait outside as its a womens issue. I waited outside and the very next day she told her dad to come and pick her up to stay at her home for a week. I told okay and after she reached home i called her after 2 days to enquire of her health and when to pick her back home, suddenly her mom started shouting at me saying ..what have you done to my daughter, her condition is severe due to some blood deficiency, when i asked her mom whats her health issue she wasnt telling anything. When i called my wife she told she is tired and whatever from here on you come with your parents and discuss with my parents and i am not interested to come there anymore. After one day she came with her dad and took all her belongings including the jewels i have put and stayed at her parents house for a month. Suddenly after one month her whole family came to my house and created a big commotion saying their daughters life has been spoiled because of me and her daughter is complaining that i am impotent, not taking care of her and i have added some poision which created her health problem and they are demanding that the only way is for me to come to their house and stay with their daughter or give divorce. I told them clearly that i cant come and stay at their house as my entire business will get spoiled due to the location of their resience far away from the city. Now they started complaining that i was having a homos*xual affair with my friend and sharing all my family issues with him. I was shell shocked by the complaint and they used vulgar words against my father. We filed a CSR at a womens police station stating that she has been at her parents house for a month and i want to live with my wife again. their family came with a lawyer and the girl told the inspector that i am impotent and im a homos*xual. I will not live with this person anymore as he and his friend will make me commit suicide. and they filed a CSR. After 4 days i got a call from a musilim organisation saying things can be sorted out by speaking, i however took a medical test and the test was normal and i submitted my report to the head office of that organisation along with the complaint letter. They said they will counsel the matter after ramzan month. I want to live with her again but i dont know whats her exact problem and why her parents are forcing me to live at their house, i suspect that she is having some psychological problem. My concern now is will they file divorce or 498a Case citing harassment and try to get compensation stating false reasons and how will i have to deal with this issue further. Kindly suggest.



Learning

 6 Replies

Vikas Jain (Advocate)     09 June 2017

At the outset , I would first of all advice you not to panic on this episode. As the relation of marriage requires the consent and free will of both the spouses. So far as the 498A IPC is concerned no sky is going to fall down even if they approach the Police officials. There are certain guidelines to be followed up by Police as pronounced in Arnesh Kumar Vs State of Bihar in 2014, before registering a FIR u/s 498A. At the worst even if the girl and her parents insists that you should stay with them, which is against the custormary practice in India, Do take a firm stand before the Police that you are willing to co-habitate with her and agree to take her back with you at your house. 

This should end the matter beforet the Police Station. Dont Worry ... Good Luck !!

Regards 

VJ - Advocate 

 

shujahath   09 June 2017

Sir, Thank you for the valuable advice

Born Fighter (xxx)     10 June 2017

your wife seems to have some mental issues and she appears to be an over pampered Princess by her parents. No matter whatever you do she will keep insisting you to stay with her parents as thats the place where she feels safe and protected.

Ur wife seems to suggest that ur alleged Impotency/ homos*xual issue will get resolved by staying at her parents place is weird and manipulative. She is taking advantage of her own wrong

Be cautious of ur wife's behavioural issues, she & parents seems to be highly manipulative.

Be brave and dont panic even if they file any false cases. Keep gathering evidences for ur case. Adopt wait and watch policy and as far as possible U do not file for Divorce, let her do that !!

If u decide to stay with her do not go for a child atleast for 3yrs. Get convinced that she is normal and things are sorted out 

shujahath   12 June 2017

Sir,

I would like to know about 498a. Is there any minimum time period within which it would be valid or it can be filed anytime by my wife. Since she is not in my house for past 2 months, can she still file 498a against me and within how many months after marriage can she file a divorce petition in the court.

Vikas Jain (Advocate)     12 June 2017

Well, there is not a prescribed time frame, ideally the Police Officials have to dispose any compliant received for the offences which fall under the category congnizible offences within 15 days. However police authorities nowadays are not at all interested in the compliants u/s 498A anymore as most of them are pre-determined that it would be a harrasment statergy except which they find any substance after going into the merits /facts of the case. 

Under Domestic Violence the case before the Court can be filed within 1 year from the incident accured. As far as filing of Divorce petition is concerned it may be filed any time when the said petition is filed on the crutelty grounds, only u/s 13B of HMA , 1955  ( Mutual Consent Divorce ) one year seperation is required.

Hope this Suffices

 

Regards 

VJ - Advocate   

 

shujahath   13 June 2017

Sir,

I have a doubt, Our Nikah was on January 29th 2017.. As of now we have only that Nikah Certificate. We registered the marriage at registrar office, they told us to come after 30 day notice for registering the second time but we dint go as the problems arised. I heard that divorce petition can be filed only after 1 year of completion of marriage. Since its been only five months since our marriage happened and with our marriage certificate not registered completely..If she plans to divorce me, Should my wife wait for 1 year to file divorce from her end and can she file for divorce using the Nikah certificate.


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