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Shell (none)     08 February 2011

need advice urgently

Hi,

I got married in sept 2009 .My widow mother in law from day one had a very biased attitude and used to make indirect comments on my physical appearence. FYI I am lean and ordinary looking female. All the time she used to make me feel that i was not anyone's choice in her family and that  i wasnt upto his son's mark. I had immense pressure for conceiving baby and for that she used to advise me to what to do in bedroom and used to take updates too. It used to be real disgusting and embarrassing experience and insulting too coz in a way she used to blame me  for things not happening. She had treated me like an object for her son. Even after being a professionally qualified female i did all houshold chores without complaint as they were not in favour of having maid. All this while she used gossip bad about me with  other females in colony and didnt leave a single chance to let me down in front of her relatives..She used to complain nonsense about my parents and relatives with me. she had problems with each and every thing i did. . My husband was understanding but never had guts to say anything.once she had beaten herself by creating a issue out of nothing and i developed a phobia of her thereafter.All this,amounted to mental torture and pressure which led to me falling sick frequently and i lost my health. it happened because i never retaliate to her bad behavior and kept sulking inside.

In last it happened that i got admitted to hospital for a day as i got a panic stroke coz of her. MIL's brother suggested me to go to my maternal house for sometime so that in meanwhile he would try to find out a solutin. However, after that no one tried to contact me. We initiated lot of contact but no one  responded appropriately. Husband has given up completely on the issue. They have made joke out of this marriage. Ifeel cheated, betrayed and used.

It is also a dowry case wherein before rokka we were told that they dont need anything. However, after 15 days of rooka they did proper bargaining for dowry with an indirect threat of breaking off. Earlier to this, i was engaged to another guy and that engagement broke off coz of dowry demand. Therefore, due to social pressure and fear of breaking off this relationship too, dad went ahead with this deal.

Ever since i got married, I didnt join job so that i could save my martial life somehow. This led to 1.5 years gap in my career and now finding a job has got real tough. Its been 6 month that i am staying with my parents.

Husband's mama is affluent and has some political connect so in case we file a case 498a, can they seek anticipatory bail? How can i go ahead and seek justice for the damage caused to my dignity as a human being and my career.

(FYI, elder sister in law (jethani)  too doesnt stand by mother in law coz she ill treated her too. Wife and husband stay in some other city due to their jobs. I, my husband and his mom used to live in some other city together.)



Learning

 10 Replies

Samir Jha (Advocate)     08 February 2011

Dear Shell,

First of all do not worry about any one being poltically connected. I do not know if you are in delhi or not but as much as the Procedure of 498-A goes, in Delhi, first the police officials will hold a conciliation session failing which the case will get registered. This process takes about anything from 3-6 months.

I suggest you to go for Domestic Violence Act, claim for protection order, Residence order, monetary order and any other relief if  you want. You can directly approach the court in the matter of DV Act,

You will also get help from the protection officer appointed specifically for this purpose.

Feel free to revert.

1 Like

Shell (none)     08 February 2011

Thanks, Mr.Jha for the advice.

I am in jaipur with my parents and my husband and MiL in gurgaon.

Does one need to have evidence to prove DV? If yes, i wonder how because things happen inside four walls of house. My MIL has built a very good image in front of neighbours.  There are few messages wherein i have expressed my pain to my husband and many messages that can prove that me and hubby had no problem with each other and one message to my brother wherein i have mentioned that i feel like comitting suicide. There are two three medicals which are proofs of my falling sick. ..there are n number of messages and mails which show that i tried to reconcile the matter; however, none was responded.

Husband and his mama have accepted the  fact that dowry was asked for by MIL in front of some of the people of our community where my father and other relatives too were present. So doesnt it call for sec 498a too? However, i do not want to give divorce to husband coz i don't him to remarry and spoil someone else life too..

Also, my hell lot of belongings and important documents are there with them which i fear that lady might destory.

Please advise...

 

Samir Jha (Advocate)     08 February 2011

Dear Ms. Shell,

First of all, there can hardly be any direct evidence of mental tortue, intention to tortue etc. These things are proved by way of circumstances and instances of crulty. At this juncture, you can ask the court for interim relief. The question of proving a fact comes at a later stage, where in you can give your statement and if you stand the securitny of cross examination then the fact will stand proved.

The relatives you are talking about can also be the witness in your case. 498-A is made out once a demand for dowry is made. If the police officials are not registering your case, you can directly approach the Magistrate thereby making a complaint u/s 498-A, 406 (Criminal breach of trust) & 34 (Common intention). If you want you can also add section 3 of Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961.

The reason I am suggesting DV act, is because under Indian Penal Code, the relief of imprisonment is there. Whereas under DV act you can claim a lot of relief from your MIL and husband. No body can keep things belonging to you as the same falls under the definition of stridhan and you can always claim the same. Prepare and annex the list of your things with the complaint.

2 Like

Kiran (nil)     09 February 2011

Very very good advice given by mr samir jha.  too good.  

  I don't understand why MIL spoil their son's marriage and the daughter in law's life. Even iam suffering alot.  And shell don't ever give divorce, such shameless men are hungry to marry again for their disgusting needs. They use females like toys, even as a girlfrnd and even as wives,  Marriage is no more a security, husbands leave their wives anytime.

Shell plz file a PWDVA.

Sir Samir jha ,please i want your email id, sir please.

Thankyou

Shell (none)     09 February 2011

Thanks Kiran...wish you all the good luck for ur case...

Samir Jha (Advocate)     09 February 2011

Thanks Shell and Kiran for the appriciation rendered, I hope I deserve it. 

However, I would like to point out here that there is a huge difference between the theoritical part of law and when law comes in application. It is always easier said than done so I wish you good luck to both of you and pray to god to give you courage for standing against injustice.

@Kiran

The email id is samir.zha@gmail.com. I hope I can be of any assistance.

regards,

muruganantham (advocate)     10 February 2011

mrs kiran, the first thing u have to do is to go to the police station and report the domestic violence u faced from ur MIL and husband if any. They would call ur husband and MIL and in that time u can ask ur belongings also. The staion office would direct ur inlaws to make good ur demand immdly. u can get back ur documents and household articles also. Make representation that she had illtreated u and other pertaining matters and ask the police to to reunite them in case the inlaws are fearing action from the police. that tis the right thing in the first instance. Take a lawyer with u to go to the police station and make the complaint detailing all the sufferings u had faced. Do immdly then only u can get the belongings at the earliest possible time.

Advocate Muruganantham from Tamilnadu

Shell (none)     10 February 2011

Thanks Mr. Jha and Mr. Muruganantham.

Shell (none)     06 March 2011

Please advise which case can be filed on mother in law for passing flithy comments on physical appreance, on my bringing up  and talking nuisance in neighbourhood about me. Is there any case related to damage caused to self respect of a female? Also, interferring in husband wife bedroom life can be ground to file any case???

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     06 March 2011

Hi shell

 

ur mum-in-law seems to be an insecure lady because she's depending upon ur hubby after losing her own husband and after having strained relations with ur jethani too.so she has only ur hubby in her life whom she doesnt want to lose.

 

if u want to save ur marriage,file only DV Act case.if u file 498A,it may break ur marriage.after all,which hubby wud like to spend his life with a woman who made him and his widowed mum remain in police lock up for a few days.

 

so,DV act is the best way to tackle women like her.

 

i can empathise with u very very well becoz i too have suffered at the hands of similar kind of mum inlaw,difference being that ur mum in-law is gud in manipulating,my mum-n-law was a great manipulator as well as very very violent,not just wid me but wid my father inlaw too!

 

all the best!

 

please keep updating abt. ur case here!

 

dont worry...god is with u!

 

pray to him  to give u mental peace and strength..


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