Torture after marriage

@ Manas

Thanks for your views. Definitely it may appear as one sided descripttion showing more of the girl merits and for the same the arguments set forth by Mr. Tajobs and Geetha is accepted in positive frame of mind.

But as a male can you justify the following acts :

Acts such as trying to rub the Sindoor, breaking the sacred bangles meant as a symbol for married woman, throwing all the clothes and gifts which has been given by our parents and relatives, coming towards her in a threatening mode  and then asking to concern only her Sasural and completely forget the parental home...

Please place yourself in same position and ask ...can you be provocated to such an extent to these kind of things.

Well we too want to live her alone and give them their privacy,,, we still are on that mode, the placing of the facts in this forum has made us aware of the merits and demerits of the case which would help us to see the future.

I agree to  @Geetha with the fact that they possess Narcisstic traits.....like informing every single thing by the boy to his parents,,,even the private discussions of a couple,,, which are then counter questioned by the mother in law,, every thing right from waking up in the morning to sleeping is asked for reporting leave aside the fact of suspect while calls are not being taken for being busy. Any talk by the girl with her parents is being accused as influencing the married life.

I take all the points put forwarded by Mr Tajobs and honestly speaking many a times i have thought being the boy himself but going by the nature of tussles over petty issues has ultimately failed to convince me to act the same way as he does.

We are getting ourselves  prepared for the worst if it happens as their strong denial to go for registration whatever be the consequences have put us in a big dilemma for which I have put my story in the forum to get some light on our future proceedings.

Thanks to all for your valuable concerns.

@Manas,

You haven’t read the authors query well.

1.     The Boy hasn’t yet registered the marriage yet. That is a failure as a husband.

2.     The boy is constantly sharing intimate details of disputes happening between wife and husband with his own mother while not allowing the wife to share the details with her family. (Infringes on the freedom of wife to communicate with near and dear).

3.     Then he uses his mother as a dictator. He is brainwashing his own mother and trying to create enmity between his mom and his wife. In that process he is trying to cover-up his own flaws as a person.

4.     He rubs sindoor off, breaks bangles, throws away gifts given to the girls by her parents. It could be because he wants to see the girl as a widow. But for her to be widow, he needs to die. How immature and childish way of reacting to disputes with wife. There is also unwanted aggression.

5.     Does not communicate to wife that he is eating out when there is quarrel. In today’s world just a text SMS could take care of that confusion. Again too immature.

6.     Demanding that wife change clothes many a times a day than normal. Too worried about cleanliness? Obsessive towards Cleanliness?

7.      Getting reports of the girl’s daily activity. Overly suspicious? Mental issues?

Originally posted by : geetha
	@Manas, You haven’t read the authors query well. 1.     The Boy hasn’t yet registered the marriage yet. That is a failure as a husband.   2.     The boy is constantly sharing intimate details of disputes happening between wife and husband with his own mother while not allowing the wife to share the details with her family. (Infringes on the freedom of wife to communicate with near and dear).   So if not with his mother, for sharing or to seek advice(s) or any sort of help would he rent some one? or else some others mother? what a foolish statement @ Geetha.  3.     Then he uses his mother as a dictator. He is brainwashing his own mother and trying to create enmity between his mom and his wife. In that process he is trying to cover-up his own flaws as a person.   You don't want the MIL to explain if something went wrong? someone outside the family need to talk if required? what is the use of being family? 4.     He rubs sindoor off, breaks bangles, throws away gifts given to the girls by her parents. It could be because he wants to see the girl as a widow. But for her to be widow, he needs to die. How immature and childish way of reacting to disputes with wife. There is also unwanted aggression. Did you saw? have heard the husband statements? don't put your hasty thoughts or statements on someone to spoil.  5.     Does not communicate to wife that he is eating out when there is quarrel. In today’s world just a text SMS could take care of that confusion. Again too immature.   Many women (wife) now-a-days are not even caring men (husband) for what they are doing and where they are going. For this what to say? I am the one among those experienced one. 6.     Demanding that wife change clothes many a times a day than normal. Too worried about cleanliness? Obsessive towards Cleanliness? You have to be happy that husband is taking care of cleanliness. instead of thinking why need that to be maintained? you are making here a false statement.   7.      Getting reports of the girl’s daily activity. Overly suspicious? Mental issues?    so husband thinking of wife every minute, is overly suspicious ??

@ Geetha: May be I missed few things. no one is perfect. try to suggest the author or else keep away yourself, but don't try to spoil the mind of the seekers. Hope you got it. Thanks

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