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pradeeprajsaxena (executive)     18 May 2010

498a

My first wife passed away in 2008 due to leukemia (natural death), leaving behind a three year old daughter. My mother and my maternal grand mother stay with us (me & my daughter). My daughter is an adopted child as we were issuless during our entire 16 years of marriage.The adoption happened on mutual understanding between both parties and no legalities attached to it. The doctor who knew us helped us with a delivery card which confirmed that my wife herself delivered the child. She also provided us with an attested stamp paper from the mother of the baby confirming that the lady has no qualms in giving away her new born baby to us. This happened in 2005.

I put my profile on a matrimonial site with specifications like i needed a non working lady who would be a mother first to my daughter and then a life parter and got a response resulting in my marriage to an issuless divorcee. She was a working lady and said she is fed up working and intends to be a housewife and is very happy that she is getting what she wanted -a readymade child. Got married in sept 2009 and in march this year she walked out of marriage decamping with some jewellery and also the two documents i referred to in the first paragraph(the stamp paper and the delivery card). She had called her sister and left in the early hours of the day. She called me up later and said that i need to accept a few conditions viz i should give her 20k per month, that i should leave the elders at home and come and stay with her.

She used to raise a fight on some pretext or the other every day and there never was a day that she didnt do this. Having undergone all the turmulous period in my life, i never used to retaliate and always had my mouth shut and accepted whatever wrong she did and said. Also she never tried being a good responsible mom to my daughter. I had not told her about my daughter being not my biological child as i was waiting for the right opportunity to tell her cuz i could see and sense she was never trying to be a good mom in the first place. But she said after she left me that she had come to know that the daughter is an adopted child withing a few days of marriage. Now she says i have hidden this fact from her and there would be many such hidden facts. She continues to say she too would get a child and asks me if i would accept. She is very categoric when she says she would never come back and stay with me.

She never proved to be a good daughter, wife or mom . I am sure you would have dealt with several such similar cases. She keeps calling me and is very authoratative on the phone and goes on calling me and my family members as liars and dictators.I do not retaliate and prefer to be a mute listener as i take care not to say or reply in the same tone which would be provoking.  My younger brother( who is very close to me and a real confidant) and his family stay near by in the adjacent building. She is pretty much aware about the fact that i am very close to my brother.

Being a divorcee earlier she is pretty much aware about all the legalities. After seven months of intermittent togetherness with her first husband she got divorced after an eight year battle in the court. Now, the fear of DV, maintenace, 498 or hiding facts (about my daughter which was unintentional) hovers over not just my head but my aged mom, my very aged grandmother, my brother and his family and my daughter. Would there be any arrests? if so how do i prevent these. She always keeps using the word CUSTODY of my daughter? I am worried about my five year old daughter..i love her she is my child and none can take her away from me. Please advise if this new mom who could spend a little over 100 days with me can take away my child as she has the two documents with her.

All the conversations are being recorded. Nothing was given to me during my marriage except one gold ring. She called me up to say that i should send her back all her things. She hasnt left anything here except for a few household clothes, a couple of utensils and cosmetics. I told her i would not be able to send them and i never asked u to leave in the first place and instead i keep telling her to come back. She says she would come one day to collect the left over things.

Does my mother, grandmother and younger brother (who does not stay with me under the same roof) face arrests if any. What happens to my five year old daughter then?

Please advise what has to be done? I am really sorry as i am sure you would find this lengthy. But this is a detailed version of what has happened and i frequently keep asking GOD...where did i go wrong...why did YOU take my first wife away..she was a perfect woman...



Learning

 11 Replies

pradeeprajsaxena (executive)     18 May 2010

Prabhakarji....Thanks for replying...i sure am enjoying with my daughter and been trying to be a good mother myself.  I just needed a clarification if my younger brother would also face an arrest despite not staying under the same roof.  How would i know that she has filed an FIR under section 498A. Does this mean that this comes as an arrest warrant?  How do i get an anticipatory bail and this perhaps would take time and that period of time i or we have to be behind the bars?

Kiran (Consultant)     18 May 2010

Dear Pradeep,

Do not worry too much.. nothing will happen 3 u.. Explain all these circumstances and take anticipatory bail for all of you in court.. Consult a good lawyer nearest to your locality..

all the best..

 

1 Like

pradeeprajsaxena (executive)     19 May 2010

Dear Kiran

Thanks for pepping me with some encouraging words. But i am not aware about this anticipatory bail thing. When should i take this and when you say all of us would that include my daughter too? Can my mother and grandmother not be spared as they are very old and are cardiac patients and seeking medical assistance. Do i need take an anticipatory bail for my brother too who does not stay under the same roof. And if so do i need to take now or when and where.

Parth Chandra (none)     19 May 2010

Yes....All the family members can be charged under 498a doesn't matter if they have stayed under same roof or not....Your wife can simply say that they have tortured her on phone or came to her house and beaten her.....

The solution is consult a good lawyer who can be trusted and get an anticipatory bail for your family. Once you get an anticipatory bail, Whe police would come to your door - show this anticipatory bail and on receiving of FIR - get a regular bail.

Then it would take years to counter the allegation made by her in the court of law. I am not discouraging you but this is truth and one would have to live with it. Try to remain as bold and happy against your family so that they don't get worry - and once you get a regular bail you also need not to worry too much (except that you would have to pay maintenance to her/spent on legal proceedings made against you and she need not to do any thing for you)

1 Like

pradeeprajsaxena (executive)     19 May 2010

Thanks pc....but my wife has now gone to another state and never has there been an instance where my family members have tried to speak to her over the phone or contacted her. Plus she keeps calling all of us there for discussions and we have decided not to go, hence beating and all doesnt come into the picture. And i do not know how much would i need to spend for anticipatory bails for all of my people and does that have a specific shelf life kind of a thing? Of course ABs would cost money and Would all this not be an unnecessary expenditure if she suddenly calls up one day and asks for an alimony or amicable settlement...Sry pc ..i am confused.

Parth Chandra (none)     19 May 2010

Hi,

1) She can make any allegation (true or falise) - When the case would run, She would have to proove and you would have to defend.

2) Anticipatory bail would cost you but it would ensure no arrest

3) If she says some day for an amicable settlement you would have to decide whether to go for it or not - If you go for it then Anticipatory bail money would be wested (but you would have to pay this price to ensure your family's comfort) - It may so happen that she doesn't do anything and simply come to your home to live again - ALL OPTIONS ARE OPEN FOR HER BUT WE (HUSBANDS) WILL HAVE FEW OPTION TO SAFEGUARD OUR FAMILY AND THATS WHY I ADVISED YOU.

4) I am not sure about the durability of AB

5) I am also a victim of fals 498a, Crpc 125, 323, Dowry prohibition case and in my case trial has not started except CRPC 125.

6) When police came to my father's house on Saturday for the first time - we came to know that my wife & inlaws has filed the cases before month against me, my father and brother (even though my brother and father live in diff. city than me). My father and brother were in office and came to know from my sister-in-law about the police. My father did not go to home and only brother went to home and police took him under custody. We promissed to give 5000 to the PSI (who came from Ahmedabad to my home-town (200 k.m away - inlaws must have bribed them as they came in my in-laws car with his driver) so that my father don't get arrested (I was in Mumbai).

7) Because of the bribe police went with my brother to Ahmedabad and because of our connections in Ahmedabad my brother did not have to spend Saturday night and Sunday in police station.

8) On Monday I along with my father  & brother went to Ahmedabad police station. Police took our statement and then took in court and we got regular bail.

9) Chargesheet has been filed in March and we have not got summons till date.

Above all (my story) is just for your information that how the things can proceed.

1 Like

pradeeprajsaxena (executive)     19 May 2010

PC...sure gives me jitters man...jitterry cuz the thought of my lil daughter, who wud take care of her if all these arrests happen. You said you came to know after police knocked your doors and that the case had been filed a month earlier. Is there any possibility or any approach that can be adopted to get prior information whether the case has been filed and if i am not wrong its filed at the CWC...am i correct? Is there a possibility or getting prior info and what happens say for example if me and my people are not available when the police knocks.

pradeeprajsaxena (executive)     19 May 2010

Prabhakarji...Thanks a heap again... She keeps shuttling between two states CG and Maharashtra and in all probabalities could file complaint  to CAW at either of these states. Unfortunately i do not have anybody or any source that would provide me prior info. And do i also get to understand she would have already done it as well. Do you mean to say once the complaint is filed the CAW initiates conciliation/counselling and how does this happen. So you mean to say if the conciliation/counselling fails then the police knocks on the door? How do i get an info from the CAW and that a complaint has been filed?

And Sir, What makes you say in my case, they will not succeed? and yes i am enjoying with my little daughter.

pradeeprajsaxena (executive)     19 May 2010

I am from Hyderabad and our marriage was solemnised in Arya Samaj Mandir at hyderabad


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