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Sanjay   10 September 2016

Applying for divorce from my wife

Married for the last 15 years, having 2 children. My wife insist to go for work, which has created differences among us. She has been doing a course for getting a job, Having 2 children, helping them in their studies and taking care of house is what I intend. Children academics are going for a toss, in spite of staying away from my parents as per her request. A new problem has cropped up. Option 1 : Staying away from the family, so that my wife will take care of the children as per her wish. Financial assistance will be provided by me. Option 2 : Go for divorce, which she might not cooperate. Kindly advice, so that I have peace of mind.


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 9 Replies

Sanjay   10 September 2016

I share the work load at home, when ever i am in town. since I am in business. I am on tour most of the time, meeting customers and enhancing the business.

To cope up to the competition I need to be in touch with customers, provide them better service to have continuity in business.

 Helping children in their academics is possible only when I am in town.

As a bread winner,   my earning is significant which is adequate for the family. Running a business has lot of competition & headache. I  strongly feel their is no need for my wife to earn.  In order to keep the family financially  stable. So there is no need for both of us to work, if she still insist to work she can work at her convenience time in our firm, rather than looking for some other organization.

By doing the course, she can pursue her career, which is not lucrative at this point, and definitely not at the expense of children education. This is not fair.

 

saravanan s (legal advisor)     10 September 2016

Involve elders from both the family and try to make her understand. thats the best thing you can do

A walk alone (-)     11 September 2016

Your thoughts are immature. Your only problem is she should not work sit at home. Wake up brother time has changed now. God has given enough power to women that she can fulfill both responsibility ( at home and at office) . Believe me working women children become more responsible than non working. After 15 years of marriage two kids you are thinking of divorce because of stupid reason. Women do job not only for being financial stable but also for earning self respect. Believe her she will manage both things. Children academic is not a big deal. You can also provide tuitions. Before thinking of divorce have you ever think about children future after divorce? You are thinking divorce because she is working and it effect on your children academic. Have you ever think after divorce what will be children academic? If you remarry do you think new one will take care of your children academic? Never , your one step of divorce will only spoil your kids future. This time you should help her in getting job and in kid academic.

Sanjay   11 September 2016

Thanks for all the feed back, it was of great help. I was really disturbed, thinking of divorce was not correct. Since the intensity was high, it  probably came out in rage. 

To conclude, let me share more information.. Married in own relative circle, who were financially poor. Entire marraige expense were borne by us, with out taking any monetary benefit.

These things were not  revealed earlier, because I know this is not a great achievement, but this data will probably help people who post comments. And definitely me or my parents am not money minded, I believe in  hard work & individual strength,  which I have learnt from my parents. My parents are 70 and 67 years, very fit they walk almost 5 kms a day, socially active in the area were they reside, with lot of social involvement.

The requirement was very clear, marring a female  who have faced difficulties in life will be more cooperative in the family. The marraiage can sustain any problems.

But I was wrong, females will come with problems, whether they are rich or poor. Who are rich will come with more problems, who are poor will come with lesser problems.

PROBLEMS ARE BOUND TO COME

She  didn`t  gel with my parents, as there is a generation gap,  things were not under  control, we moved  to a different house in the same locality, before it could get worse. This was 7 years back. People pick wrong ideas from TV channels. I assume this was the main culprit.

But I keep a check with my parents ensuring to visit them alteast alternate days, spend time with them.They also spend time with grandchildren alteast 5 times a week, and the distance is around 1 km from both the house. Things are smooth.

Aim was to have a small & happy family, earn whats required. Which I felt this can be accompalished by a single member.

There is not thoughts of any other female in my life, 1 itself has created turbulance in my  life, cant think of another.

Being very conservative and safe player, and obedient and well respected in the society, divorce is something, which neither me or my parents can digest.

Especially both the children are female, so I cant think of it. After analysing pro and cons.

I feel the solution would be, to let her decide what she wants to do in her life, which I dont want to interfere, I am least bothered about this, once we have exchanged lot of words, the bitterness will haunt. For the society, we can pretend to be a couple under 1 roof, but the love & affection will never the same as earlier. 

Kids are 3 rd STD & 8th STD , I will leave it to her. As both are females, let her dictate terms and manage the show. Financial support is what I will provide, and no way I will interfere. She wants to be a dictator, so let her do it.

Whatever comes up at the end GOOD or BAD, children will reap that for having blessed with a mother of this kind. Which is god gifted.

 

THANK YOU

 

 

innocenthusband   11 September 2016

Your wifes priorities are not in order when the kids studies are suffering as a result of her newfound passion to get a job. You must look deeper into the marriage. What is her motivation to suddenly find a job? Since one of the children is in 8th grade old how can the mother leave for a job all of a sudden, since the all important board exams are just 2 years away? Hows your life in bed, all of these are significant questions. But the most important thing for you right now is to figure out why she wants this job so badly. Is it because you keep a tight grip on your wallet? Or are there other factors involved?

I would suggest meeting a marriage counsellor who can bring issues out into the open and explain to both of you the right path ahead. 

A compromise is a must in marriage. If she refuses to meet the counsellor, you can make sure her motivation for getting a job is not money.

P. Venu (Advocate)     11 September 2016

There are no grounds for you to seek divorce.

suffering woman (student)     12 September 2016

go for councelling you need some councelling.

DanielFeeron   14 September 2016

When my wife tried to separate us with children, I had to involve the lawyers. They told me it's a usual situation and proposed even "no win - no fee" system. Luckily, we won the suit. Probably this article can help U.
https://brunoboys.net/index.php/entry/injury-worries-and-not-just-in-your-fantasy-sports-line-up

 

DanielFeeron   14 September 2016


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