Can i avoid divorce ?

Thank you so much HELPING HAND for sparing time to reply to my message.

I agree with whatever you have said. But the issue is that I love him too much and cant think of breaking the relationship. Second reason is that I am not at fault and it is difficult to let the person just walk out of the marriage when he feels like, leaving behind not just me but my daughter too.

Ours has been a loving relationship throughout. I have been a good wife and he has been a good husband. Presently he is just acting like this under somebody's influence. I have proof of his affair, but i dont want to bring this issue in court, as it will tarnish his image.

KINDLY GUIDE ME ONLY ON THIS POINT  NOW:-

IS THERE ANY PROVISION IN LAW, WHEREIN HIS DIVORCE PETITION GETS REJECTED BECAUSE NO SOLID GROUND FOR DIVORCE ? AND CAN THE JUDGE ORDER US TO STAY SEPARATE WITHOUT A DIVORCE, BECAUSE HE DOES NOT WANT TO STAY WITH ME ?

I AM FINE WITH REMAINING LEGALLY MARRIED JUST ON PAPER...........WHY SHOULD I LIVE WITH A DIVORCEE TAG AND WHY SHOULD MY DAUGHTER BE CALLED A DIVORCEE'S CHILD ? I am happy just with the thought that my husband is alive somewhere in the world and my kid has a father alive.

Please advise on this point.

@pooja.......whats the use of deceivng your ownself? summing up your total response it seems to me that it is your maritial status in society which overwhelms your claims of love towards your husband so much.  what is the use of carrying a dead body ( your marriage) hanging around your neck and deceiving your ownself that you are married,  when your biological clock ticks towards the sunset and when lonliness tries to get the better of you, and your child will be left without any one elses support besides you, at that time you will realise that you wasted your time running behind a shadow (your husband) 

my sincere advice: you still havent lost time, be practical and not emotional. emotions fade away with passage of time, and when reality sinks in, things start to get difficult. you have to come to terms with the situation and carry on. take a divorce, get married again and live your life to the fullest and enjoy what life has to give you.  rest is up to you to decide what is best for yourself,

Thanks FIGHTING BACK, for such an honest and straighforward reply. I will try to ponder over your suggestions.

Let me try and convince myself for a divorce, so that I can set him free and allow him to get re-married. If I love him, I should be happy for his happiness, isn't it ?

As far as my getting married again is concerned. .....I will never be able to do that. I love him too much and will not be able to give his place to any other man in my life. If ever I agree to divorce him, I will live only for my daughter. She will give me company and I'll be there for her always.

It will also be difficult for me to trust any other man now, after whatever my husband has done to me. If a man can break a relationship of more than 2 decades like this,  how can I trust another man now ?

Thanks again for your kind advise. God bless you.

Dear Pooja,

As all the above repliers have already stated the consequences......

My 2 cent on the above is:

1.Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.  ~Author Unknown

2.When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.  ~Author Unknown

3.Relationships are like glass.  Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.  ~Author Unknown

4.Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall.  Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.  ~Author Unknown

5.Chasing your loneliness is always better than chasing an adamant  person for love -- A Sufferer

Good luck:))

(ESIS)

hi pooja, 

as you have replied, please do ponder over your thoughts and think over whatever you have decided for your self, as you have said that  I will live only for my daughter. She will give me company and I'll be there for her always.

just being with the daughter is not enough, you should also give her happiness and reason to be happy, if you stay dejected your whole life, weeping over spilt milk ( your marriage) your sadness will start to reflect in your daughter which will tend to change her way of thinking and her happiness. your daughters happiness and future depends on the way you live and stay and control your emotions. so, only living with your daughter and giving company is not enough, living happily with her is more important. remember time is the best healer, and the greatest medicine, you will eventually tide over this emotional breakdown. you need to be strong and take the right decisions......all the best. 

right said sufferer.......nothing more to add........perfect words for the author............

@ Pooja,,,,

I went through entire thread of gentle man advised here. I think you should talk to him / meet him personally. Its 17 yrs life long relation, it can not be breached life that. If this is how marriages are broken because now he / she doesn't have interest, people will start loosing their faith / trust in marriage institution. May be he is fascinated towards some glamerous lady in corporate world, you can also re-jouvanite the same attraction by all means you know. Divorce is black spot in one's life. You should fight, with brain. Only one sentence I would say, it is you should have that in you that attracts opposite party, its all about to win, not to beg.

Sorry gentle men, but marriage is a beautiful relation, it must not be broken like this. It not only breaks someone's heart, but also ruins the mood / charm to live life happily. It's about to give, not to take all the time.

Dear friend, you should think of you as well as your children by using your mind. If your hubby is not willing to live with you anymore, you should leave him by taking the maximum benefit for you and you children. Because if you refuse to take anything now and in future you get indigent or unable to bear the expenses, what will you do? You should take the maximum monetary gain so that the future of your children be secure. You are eligible to get the maintenance u/s 125 CrPC. 

 Foranymore help, you can contact me on my e-mail id or my mobile.

                                    KAPIL GUPTA ADVOCATE

Thanks friends for all the genuine suggestions and kind words.

This forum and all its members, who are ready to help each other so selflessly, are a big help during the time of despair we all are going through. Legal issues, court hassles are indeed so tiring and stressful. At such times, every suggestion counts and helps in its own way.

Thanks again. God bless you all.

Dear Pooja,

I truly sympathize with you. I dont know how can someone call off a 15 year old marriage just like that?. Now that you have evidence that he is involved in adultery you say that you still love him?. That is not love my dear lady. Love is between 2 faithful people not between a cheater and a submissive person. That is called as Attachment and in love there is no attachment.