Concern in taking 498a wife

Your requests seems to be non-practical. 

after reading your post here, i am sorry to say that you are contradicting your own statements, on one hand u state that u want to keep your self esteem and dont wish to bow, and on the other hand u are ready to accept her back in your house, on other thoughts you dont want to eat the food cooked by her,.......and so on. it seems u are totally confused.

open your eyes dear friend, whom are you accepting back? your lovely 498a wife. who did not think twice before filing cases on you and now like a shameless woman she is filing a RCR case on you. and without thinking you have accepted her back. how can you trust such a woman. can you trust this woman? man....marriage is all about trust and sacrifice.

i would suggest that fight all your cases, dont ever accept her back, even for the sake of your child, your child will eventually get used to staying  without the mother, but you will make your life hell if you accept her back, dont get frightened by the mediator.

when the allegations put on you are false, how can you bear to listen this and yet accept her and her parents??

even after all this you are ready to accept her back then i must say that you are a mahatma....:)

Dear Friend!

i admire your concern for your child and the efforts you are putting and the pains you are willing to take bearing the child alone in your thoughts, I wish you the best of luck.

regarding taking your wife back, it should be your call alone with consulations of your family member who knows her very well, there has been instances where even divorced couples have reconciled and lead a good life ahead, sometimes distance and disturbances makes a person realize his / her mistakes and they want to go ahead making amends for future.

so you decide for the betterment of yours and most important your child.

regards

abdul.

@ sanjeev- I agree we are two enemies staying in a same roof is practically not possible. It is like cat and rat in same room.

Firstly, I am not confused on my decision,  I am not going to her back. She is coming into my home. If i accept her taking all the cases back that shows that, I am bowing in front of her or I am in her mercy. I cannot live on her mercy.

Secondly why should I give her easy money in maintenance case by refusing to take her back? Actually she left my home and put the cases. she actually wants only money. no meaning for a marriage in her dictionary.

By keeping her with me what i am achieving? Actually nothing, but i can take care of my son and his future.  My son is with her. And not even got visitation rights till date. ( I don’t trust her that by paying maintenance i cannot make sure my son welfare)

Of course I am not going to lead a happy matrimonial life. but the struggle i am going through, it has to be acknoledged by her. she has to understand the difficulty of me and my parents.

Even if she dont care about us. but she has to care about herself by attending the cases.

Alternatively if she refuse to come back. i get a ground for not paying maintenance right?

People/NGO are not sensitive towards man harasment  & other side guy are filed cases in SC to remove 375 from IPC.

Does it meen all people,NGO in  INDIA are useless? I must say yes .NGO, Group of person must file SC to remove 498A,376 from ,354 from IPC because these 3 sections are misused in 99% cases.NGO are filing PIL on pity mattders.

It is highly shameful for all NGO's.These a3 sections are making Indian man society timid. they will be good follower not good leader, decision taker which is the need of the nation. One side we say all are equal in law, even constitution says. but all lawas favour woman, man are crimnals.I dont understands how SC & law believe that women dont lie. But our whole mythology big thinkers says'Charcter of a woman & luck of man no one can pridict even GOD'. To get vote govt can go to any extreme without logic I pridict in coming 10years for 498a, 376 may be cap. punishment .Because woman are big vote.If mankind to survive come forward file PIL to remove 498a, 376,354, 376 may modifide max punishment 3 years.

Ramesh, 

NGO tried through PIL on validity of 498a but  quahed by SC and upheld its constitutional validity, which is clearly against the principle of articles enshrined for fundamental right, liberty and freedom. Who will ask SC now? In spite SC, itslef many occasions terming it as legal terrorism still sits quite calmly , leaving to parlimentarian to amend the sections?

What its accountabilty on to uphold the fundamental right of men? Law commision again did lip service in its statement about misuse and its amendment. You understand , it is not 498a that causing problem , the alimony and compensation ground merely on mercy on the basis of categorising women a weaker section, or a vote bank politics what casuing the biased laws , basis for extortion. Who will bell the cat? Nature? I leave it to your guessing how it is?

Coming to Rajashekar,

No man, it is not that easy, i understood your intention in first read itself, what happens is;

you take her and avoid her in relationship and continue to fight 498a which only makes her more strong with your money and shelter ( remeber now no family meber of her will harass her, at the outset it looks wife family supports them but inside actually they kick her) and also more possibilty for strengthening 498a and DV if you neglect her.

Either you forget her past deeds or fight. Only solution lies in one of the extremes and no middle way as you think which will put you in more trouble.

@Mani,

I understand your point. but my opinion is based on my experiance with her in my past. since she is money minded she wont come to me in first instance. because she get better cash in hand if she stay away. well if we stay together  that does not allow her to spend directly from my pocket right? I am sure her family might kick her if she dont get money in hand and go stay with them.

The course you are going throgh the Mediation &Conciation Center is just about to bring amicable resolutions from both the parties onvolved in an legal  litigation to score out their diffrences which hamper their living togetherr s husband and wife and avbove perform  a role of parents.

Yes, if you have rash in your attitidue and your wife feels like commiting suicide or you give her a casue to belive that you may hurt her serioulsly  gravely e left handicapped in some way - all these intreprettuons mena sto define cruety which is the main concernu/s 4981-A I.P.C. You can be said to be cruel to  your  wife if you forcefully  demand from her to meet your financial requirements by coercing her to call herlp from her parents.

While during the process under the Mediation & Counselling Center you show your willingness to take her back to your home. The house you have built is for the good of all of you. Forget who has contributed what and how one has managed to be more perfect than the other.

As your can asert  conditions to reconcile stating that they will continue to remain together as husand and wife in the name of God and practice living as per their own relgious understandings. Denying co-habitation and refusal of eating from her hand/food you will be perpetuating an offense of wilfull discriination. If it the future of the child is that what is worrying you and you are prepared to toil it out for the befnefits to make your  family survive,  you seem to be sincere in your attitude. Meet your wife in alone before the proceedings if you can arrange to do so.

1. Your course of action have major flaws.
2. You need to know your wife first via Court then only you should take any decision of taking or continuing with a STAND.  
3. Right now a 2 years old is clouding all your judgment.

Wish you all the best if it helps.

Dear Tajobs sir,

I agree my thinking is masked with my son. But other than that other actions and effects are some what calculated. Even i am taking a wrong decision. here i am trying to figurout what worst can happen? Does my MCD can be prepared such a way tthat can eliminate major clutches in later on life?

Advises from a senior members like you are awaited.

MCD is an agreement between the parties with an essence of mutuality...You can tailor the agreement with lawful demands...

Any of your behaviour towards your wife which would deviate from the standard acceptable norms of the society will be put as cruelty by you wife....A proffesional in Banglore should help.

Regards

Chetan(dot)7679(at)gmail(dot)com

I am also in the same stance,

Regarding taking your wife back:

To me, it’s not a sin taking wife back for a good cause noway we will loose self esteem! However, see things for good reason.

Put 2 things in an equilibrium on both side…,

1) Son Future, attachment towards him  and peace of your mind.

2) Erred wife, Recollecting on past -mental torture, lost relationship, another cycle of confusions…

See which weigh more from your conscious mind.

My 2 cents:

If your wife behavior turned bad due to following reasons can’t be taken back:

Ø  Illegal relationship.

Ø  Money minded.

Ø  Party girl or addictive to costly life style.

If your Wife behavior turned bad due to following reasons can be consider to take back.

Ø  Because of your absence

Ø  Possessiveness on sharing your love to mom /sister/dad…

Ø  Timely spike ego due to baby born, instigation by mom, dad or lawyer…

Ø  No HIS family

@samual bhai,

You gave me a good reason to rethink about my decision. Even though she falls into first category. however my heart says "my son is more wight ". So still calculating the result of my decision. but will fight against the cases. 

thanking you samuel sir you gave extract here but my wife is mixture of both ie first and second

from first she is money minded and from second last two points that is third and fouth point is highly influensed her mind and some what in my mind from first the first is hitting to me but not sure so i m not considering it and this comes from both side for her also about me.. anyway so here again big confusion as second in which we can take her back affect most to her then also she is not acceptable becuase she anytime can create issue, if  some one provoke her again then again problem get arise so here the decision depends on individual what extreme she had did wrong to her husband? and how much he tolerate ?

but for general or normal people if 498A had happen due to any cause then she is acceptable by any reason it is my perosonal experience and i will suggest this to every one. including exceptions also...