This excerpt is from SriRamacharitamanasa, on topic of “Marriage of Lord Siva”.
This shows the deep concern and anxiety of a mother for her daughter.
When God/sage “Narada” brought proposal of marriage of Goddess “UMA” with Lord “SIVA”, and described that Lord “SIVA” is a perfect match for Goddess “UMA”. Even father of Goddess “UMA” “Himalaya” argued with sage “NARADA’ and enumerated some defects of Lord “SIVA”. Then sage “NARADA’ cleared all the concern and doubts of “Himalaya”. After that sage “NARADA” returned.
On finding her husband “Hiamalaya” alone “MENA DEVI” (Himalaya’s wife) wanted to know about the groom for her daughter Goddess “UMA” and warned her husband that unless the groom matches in all respect with Goddess “UMA”. This has been described in the following chaupais/lines
“Jau gharu baru kulu hoi anupa, karia bibahu suta anurupa.
na ta kanya baru rahau kuari, kanta uma mama pranpiyari.2.”
And the meaning of the above lines is described below –
“Mena Devi to her husband Himalaya “My lord, I could not follow the words of the sage. If the match, his house and his pedigree are without parallel and worthy of our daughter, the marriage may be concluded. If not , the girl had better remain unmarried, for, my lord, Uma is dear to me as my own life. If we fail to secure a match worthy of Girija, everyone will say Himalaya is dull by nature. Keep this in mind, my lord, while concluding an alliance.”
Once “Mena Devi” mother of Goddess “UMA” get fully convinced and satisfied with the answers of her husband “Himalaya” she got delighted, and this has been described very nicely in the following lines -
“Now if you cherish any love for your child, then go and admonish her that she should practice austerity which may bring about her union with ‘Siva’, there is no other way of overcoming sorrow. The words of ‘Narada’ are pregnant and full of reason. Siva (who bears a bull for His emblem) is handsome and mine of all virtues, recognizing this truth do not entertain any misgiving. Sankara is irreproachable in every way.” Hearing the above words of her husband Maina Devi felt delighted at heart, she at once rose and went where Girija was. At the sight of Uma tears rushed to her eyes and she affectionately took the girl in her lap. Again and again she hugged the child; her voice was choked with emotion and she found herself tongue tied. The mother of the universe, the all knowing Bhawani, then spoke the following soft words, which brought delight to her mother.”
This still holds good at least in rural parts of north India, Generally people for the sake of customs of society and safety of their daughters marry them anyhow. Here they are considered as burden for their families. Also we or our society do not add value to the service of a housewife to her husband, child and others, and this is considered or taken as for granted.
So, unless they (women) find good match, it is better to remain unmarried, than to marry an unscrupulous man of bad character.
