Second marriage and harassment once again

ask your sister to file annulment of marriage to declare the marriage as null and void on grounds of force being used to obtain consent for marriage.as per law when you annule a marriage it is considered to be not taken place at all

Thank you sir for the suggestion, how much time this will take in the court of law? Whom do we need to approach for this process?

Mr Shrikant, i think there is other side of the story from the husband side which is not known. May be he is instigated by someone from your sisters earlier marriage or cannot have physical relation and hence behaving in such a manner. Its hard to believe the husband who was single agreed to marry a divorcee by force unless there was a reason to do so, why will a family force him to marry a girl who was married earlier. Pls dont mind me saying this but this is how things are in our society.

Its quite unfortunate for your sister, as adviced by Adv Saravanan you should move for annulement of marriage if there is no hope. Consult a local lawyer who will help you with the legal process. However try for an out of court settlement/ MCD instead of raoming around the courts again.

The point is we tried talking to him and these are the exact words "This is how I am if you like to live be with me else you can leave". "I am not having a feel and so if you can wait do wait, it can take few months or may be few years and if you cannot wait can marry someone". 

As a family since it is her second marriage we were very much shocked with his behavior immediately after marriage and now he is behaving more and more arrogant day by day. Also it is not first marriage to him to, it is his second marriage too. We met him multiple times before marriage, his family multiple times, he was all very active and excited to be part of this relation etc. but post marriage behaving this way and they did not live in the same house for 10 days even. Even during 10 days he asked her to sleep in a different room as he is not comfortable, I do not see any valid reason for that guy to direspect a women.

When we questioned on why his answer to my sister was "you just want to sleep with me? Come let us sleep now". Don't you think it will hurt the self respect of any girl? 

My family went through this trauma once in life and I am afraid they will even survive this time, I just feel like hurting that guy soo bad that he does not do this to anyone else again but then I am worried about my sister future too . I do not see any hope in this marriage as the way this guy is behaving even though we compromise now she need to live under mental trauma or pressure all her life with him.

He simply is planning to leave to another country in few months and with that gut feeling, I want to bring my sister out of this but at the same time show her some hope to life. I like the annulement of marriage option but is that not divorce?? If she wants to move on in life will this be considered as second divorce in her life??

Srikanth

a few questions you & your sister needs to answer

1. What is that you & your sister wants as of now out of this marriage? You want it to work it out or simply walk off from it?

Also read my remarks in bold

1. Guy doesn't talk to my sister, he shows lot of anger on her. He doesn't even talk to her as two normal human beings communicate, just comes home sits on his laptop and then eat by himself and goes to bed -----(this is a version from your sister, have you and elders have evaluated this same with the guy and his family?? )

2. Second time when she came back he moved all her belongings to another room and informed her he is not comfortable sleeping in his room so asked her to sleep in a different room which she did. ----( I'm sure that was a shocker for your sister, did the same been informed to his family, at the same time informing you? secondly, I hope, your sister also enquired her husband about his behaviour, what was his reply? Have you checked for any deviations from your sister's version and her husband's version)

3. We tried to talk to him which he did not care to even respond and bluntly said No, without any option left we had to speak to his sister and brother in law. They went and spoke to him for which he reacted very angrily and insulted with very mean words towards my sister saying if you want to sleep with me let us sleep now, is that what you want. ----(what happens between a couple stays within the couple, may be some sort of mental dis-agreements are going on in-between, for which, the husband is having some sort of bad mood, have you considered that?)

4. He went to extent and told her that he is not interested in marriage and family forced him and asked her if she is not willing she can leave and marry anyone she need etc. ----(If this was the case, then from the very next day of marriage, the guy would have showed his true color. I strongly feel, there is nothing like this, it is some sort of anger which is on in-between)

See, understand one thing, there is some link which is missing here, now we dont know from which side, but, strongly feel something is missing here; try to find that answer out and you will get the solution for this problem.

Annulment is the one possible solution, but is that what you want? if yes, then you may proceed with it.

I assume you are the brother talkikng, what are you doing here?  You should have taken dire steps against your sisters husband by thrashing him properly for spoiling your sisters life.

Once marraige is done, one has to adjust and go, if parents forced or did not force. That is the dharma of each man and woman.

I agree with above experts and you people need to take swift action.  All the best.

Thank you for the response.

this is a version from your sister, have you and elders have evaluated this same with the guy and his family?? - Even his family now says it will take time for him, may be 2 months or 2 years and asking my sister to be patient until then. Also when my sister tried to talk to him a week back his answer was if you want to live with me you need to sleep in another room I will not allow in my room.

I'm sure that was a shocker for your sister, did the same been informed to his family, at the same time informing you? secondly, I hope, your sister also enquired her husband about his behaviour, what was his reply? Have you checked for any deviations from your sister's version and her husband's version - That is the first thing we did, suggested her to talk to him and when she tried either he is shouting at her for irritating him, even when we try to talk his answer was what is the hurry. But our point is what can be the reason where a guy will ask his few days old wife to sleep in another room and so much of anger and frustration.

what happens between a couple stays within the couple, may be some sort of mental dis-agreements are going on in-between, for which, the husband is having some sort of bad mood, have you considered that? - We let his sister only talk to him for which this was his response. How else we need to communicate as human beings? If we do not talk and behave normally with other people what else we are for in this civilised society?

If this was the case, then from the very next day of marriage, the guy would have showed his true color. I strongly feel, there is nothing like this, it is some sort of anger which is on in-between - May be you did not read my whole explanation, he started doing this from day one when they started living together.

I assume you are the brother talkikng, what are you doing here?  You should have taken dire steps against your sisters husband by thrashing him properly for spoiling your sisters life. - Exactly as you said being a brother and that too second marriage we wanted this to work very badly, now looks like I do not have an option other than thrashing him. I do not stay with my parents and so what if something else happens in my absense and that fear is letting me stay in my senses.

We are planning to talk to him once again this weekend and if his version is still the same I guess we will look for Annulment as we have recorded evidence of he saying his parents forced him for marriage and another is he is not ready to have any physical or emotional relation with my sister. I am afraid what will be my sister's life and we are even worried about her state of mind as we had to keep an eye on her every minute so that she does not take any drastic step.

For a girl going through this fate once in lifetime itself is very difficult and now for the second time I really hope she has all the strength. 

Lost faith in GOD either.

We spoke to the guy along with my family and his family, he has no answer except blaming my sister for not sitting properly in sofa, also he is upset because she shared the trouble with us. He is trying to threaten saying this is second marriage so just be careful and all.

We tried to convince as much as we can and my sister moved back to his home. Its been one month and now it has become even worse, some guy friend of his is coming to home and they both lock the room and sleep inside while my sister is asked to sleep in the other room. As per my sister they both are being very close which usually friends do not be, she tried to console herself and started getting herself involved in to something else at home.

Day by day this is becoming worse and now he changed the Wi-Fi password and when asked was told will not given.

Looks like we do not have any other option other than proceeding legally.

Srikant,

Put a camera in the room where he sleeps with his friend. Why dont you approach his first wife, she is the best person to tell you if hes gay. 

What are you waiting for ?. The relationship seems to be beyond repair day by day.  It seems you know the future but are unable to accept whats coming for unknown reasons.

Remember its very easy to blame the other person but remember you have to come clean out of this 2nd marriage of your sister, for a better future for her. Dont get into blame game/litigation....go for a safe and quicker exit if annulement /divorce is inevitable

First and foremost I did not expect you to reply.  Usually querist come, leave a note and then read comments and disappear. Thank you for replying.

Originally posted by : Srikanth
	Thank you for the response. this is a version from your sister, have you and elders have evaluated this same with the guy and his family?? - Even his family now says it will take time for him, may be 2 months or 2 years and asking my sister to be patient until then. Also when my sister tried to talk to him a week back his answer was if you want to live with me you need to sleep in another room I will not allow in my room. I'm sure that was a shocker for your sister, did the same been informed to his family, at the same time informing you? secondly, I hope, your sister also enquired her husband about his behaviour, what was his reply? Have you checked for any deviations from your sister's version and her husband's version - That is the first thing we did, suggested her to talk to him and when she tried either he is shouting at her for irritating him, even when we try to talk his answer was what is the hurry. But our point is what can be the reason where a guy will ask his few days old wife to sleep in another room and so much of anger and frustration. what happens between a couple stays within the couple, may be some sort of mental dis-agreements are going on in-between, for which, the husband is having some sort of bad mood, have you considered that? - We let his sister only talk to him for which this was his response. How else we need to communicate as human beings? If we do not talk and behave normally with other people what else we are for in this civilised society?   If this was the case, then from the very next day of marriage, the guy would have showed his true color. I strongly feel, there is nothing like this, it is some sort of anger which is on in-between - May be you did not read my whole explanation, he started doing this from day one when they started living together.   I assume you are the brother talkikng, what are you doing here?  You should have taken dire steps against your sisters husband by thrashing him properly for spoiling your sisters life. - Exactly as you said being a brother and that too second marriage we wanted this to work very badly, now looks like I do not have an option other than thrashing him. I do not stay with my parents and so what if something else happens in my absense and that fear is letting me stay in my senses.   We are planning to talk to him once again this weekend and if his version is still the same I guess we will look for Annulment as we have recorded evidence of he saying his parents forced him for marriage and another is he is not ready to have any physical or emotional relation with my sister. I am afraid what will be my sister's life and we are even worried about her state of mind as we had to keep an eye on her every minute so that she does not take any drastic step. For a girl going through this fate once in lifetime itself is very difficult and now for the second time I really hope she has all the strength.  Lost faith in GOD either.

Hi there,

Even I was in your situation, but in my case it was my sisters first marriage and the boy drinks properly, good with everyone, but when he drinks thrashes my sister, one day she came home with blue eye and I had to take charge, and one day I got a chance when he was drunk, gave him nicely and from that day onward he stopped. I also feared that it would have backfired, but it worked, now the idiot drinks but does not beat sister anymore.

For some you need to use force, cant help.   But do it very calculatively.  I am very much against women getting beaten.

Originally posted by : Srikanth
	We spoke to the guy along with my family and his family, he has no answer except blaming my sister for not sitting properly in sofa, also he is upset because she shared the trouble with us. He is trying to threaten saying this is second marriage so just be careful and all. We tried to convince as much as we can and my sister moved back to his home. Its been one month and now it has become even worse, some guy friend of his is coming to home and they both lock the room and sleep inside while my sister is asked to sleep in the other room. As per my sister they both are being very close which usually friends do not be, she tried to console herself and started getting herself involved in to something else at home. Day by day this is becoming worse and now he changed the Wi-Fi password and when asked was told will not given. Looks like we do not have any other option other than proceeding legally.

Appears to be gay.  Go shopping on flipkart, you buy button camera, record all such activities.  Give police complaint.  He go jail sure.  You dont worry.  You take step now or else some more time waste and your sister life spoil.

Yes I feel the need for sharing this incident... She did not even have a chance to put some camera as he is locking the door etc.

I do not see arguing, blaming or beating him as we are vexed up with all this, we have decided to put a cheating case against him and see where this go.

Would definitely like punish such culrpits.