Harasment from wife and in laws

dear doctor,

Being a doctor u need to know her psychological tensions. If you cannot understand you could have taken her to a psychologist to check her problems that could have sorted out things.

Now you want to work on laws.see sir, u yourself say trivial issues, so request her parents help her taking to psychologist and check what is her problem and psychologist and psychiatrist can solve the issue, as it seems she is suffering from serious fears. sort out that first would by wisdom and prudence after she is a human being not some thing like  toy. u need to be kind is a doctors responsibility . without being kind how could you be a hospitable person in a hospital to cure health issues, think a while and decide, as court would not grant divorce on your pleas, after all you need to dispel, fears in her my dear friend.  

On the basis of the facts narrated above, you can file divorce case under the ground of mental cruelty.  You engage an advocate on whom you rely and he will take care that how to file the case and other attendant issues like custody of the child and maintenance and other issues and how to prove mental cruelty.

Do not file for divorce. Because it will invariably  result in a false 498a case against you & your family, including those who never ever stayed with you, your married sister, your distant relative, anyone. If you are really serious about filing divorce, you have no other option but to initiate a criminal case against her. File for MCD once they ask for compromise. 

It is a practical advice and not a legal advice. For legal advice you may refer to the experts/ lawyers.

If you go by legal advice and file for divorce, you will have to pay maintenance to your wife because it is your duty to maintain her but she has no duty at all but to take your money and file false cases on you and your family.

You will have to pay for your child but you will not be allowed to meet your child. You will have to contest even to meet your child. Your child does not have any right, only your wife has rights.

You will have to go to jail, pay to lawyers, pay for bail, pay to police and pay to your wife ( permanent alimony), so that she could marry some one else and enjoy her life.

Dear Sir,

Im Asif Saleem from Salem & my Wife vanitha @ vahitha. She is a born hindu girl & She converted herself to muslim caste with her willingness on 12.06.09. We had misunderstanding from the date of marriage. We were living seperately from my parents in 6 months of marriage because of my wife torture.We have a girl baby (Nazia Asif) born on 17.07.12, When my baby was 3 months old, my wife left home saying that my parents shouldnt stay me, But they came to home to see their Grand daughter. I took care of the baby well in that period by feeding in time & vaccinations at the time. After 8 months i convienced her & bringed back saying that my parents will not interfere. Before 3 months again my wife tortured me to have a rented home in attur (Her Home Town) & i agreed for that also. On 08.07.14 i brought my baby from attur to celebrate our Eid(Ramzan) in my parents home as my wife refused to come there & after 2 days i again went back to attur. Her mother & Father argued with me and my wife also abused me that she will not live with me more and she said that she dont want baby also. So i came back to salem with baby. After 2 days the house owner of her town called me & Said that my wife broke the locks and took all the things from the home. I dint bothered about that as i felt that my baby is a big wealth for me. Last Month (27.08.14) I got a call from Attur womens police station that my wife has given a dowry case pettition on me,my father & My mother. I made nikkah with Vahitha without a single rupee. I also got talak from Islamic Shariat court - Salem. For false dowry case i filed a pettition case on my wife in salem court & to Save my baby i filed a GOP pettition also. On 22.09.14 my wife came with a policemen from attur & took baby harrasing my parents. We also filed a csr in ammapet police station - salem, There was a summon for her to appear in court with baby on 29.09.14, But she dint. Its been more than 15 days i havent seen my baby & my wife calling me and asking 10 lakhs rupees to solve issue among us. But they are not showing my baby & also threating that if i come to see baby in attur, Then they will file a 307 case on me. They showing the political power also on me, Im very depressed & cant even concentrate on my daily works. Kindly advice me how to get baby from them & get divorce.

Regards,

Asif Saleem

9944719118

Inter religious or caste marriages do have a lot of problems of culture and there is a lot of problems of adjustments all over world.

Changing religion would not mean the person mentally changed as there are always peer pressure  among friends and their relatives too bring pressure, life indeed is not smooth for both; so if at all marrying allow your spouse to follow his or her own religious rites and practices but do not allow the religious laws intervene; that way we conceived special marriages Acts;

divorce is not always solution but properly get mediated by conciliation process as any religious laws are harsh in reality, when you go out of your religion you need to sense all these aspects;

Marriage is not forcing your spouse to your own think process but a lot of adjustability (ability to adjust ) that any long married couples would vouch   !

Laws are no panacea but some perception till accepted by society that law would not work much 

Force of law unless willingly accepted that law is in conflict with society as society is indeed supreme any where that way any pressure of law leads to serious  conflicts all over today!

Get things mediated in a most sensible way as CPC  1908 too per sec 89 prefers mediation and conciliation process as it is a most matured think process for humanity;

what i find in your case your wife is not able to adjust with your parents seems the basic premise though she adjusts with you individually, so divorce idea is no big solution besides you will remarry when your love baby is bound to suffer at the hands of your new would be that also  has some  weight, so think all these before you move about;

if bent on divorxe then let the baby be given to its mother that is a wise step. think all aspects! 

hello,

talk to the other party and file for MCD to avoid any further legal hassels.

Samuel Johnson said... 'There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity' , please weigh whether you satisfied this rule that is very vital in any marriage, spouses need to be very good friends and also need to be persons of integrity.

if any of the above loses its standing life becomes miserable;

see in inter caste or inter religion marriages there is some leadership is most important factor, that means right brain works , so in these marriages one needs to know marriages here are not managing alone but leading with right brain. of creativity - Aristotle said, ' WE are what we repeatedly do, Excellence , then, is not an act, but a habit' do we have excellence if if we do what we do?

Mulim gentleman married a hindu girl he needs to know they are far part in their culture and civilization, when so what a leader does is they go away from their old links of their families to foster and develop a new family kind traditional thought but if one clings to their own families  then what happens to Leadership?

Again they go for the Laws which are contrived to cater for traditional marriages, not these kinds of leadership in marriages!

Again special marriages Act was created but no safety element which traditional marriages are given by so called statutes. i see here a gentleman says go for MCDs, being some 'enthisiast'! 

We need balance is called WISDOM. Failure is definitely leads one to misery life long as enmity and hatred grows uninterruptedly, what is life if you cannot compromise with things you mastered and manuvered !

solutions are in your hands only not in courts of any kind that is the fact of legal ethics and morals as both crossed your religious morality but adopted a new code of law unless new code of morality if not properly supported by new religious thought enunciated, by both spouses, by new sets of laws   where can be any solution sirs!

so Henry David Thoreau statement comes to my mind... '
                 

                             'I know of no more encouraging fact,

                             than the unquestionable ability of man

                             to elevate is life by CONSCIOUS endeavor'! 

hi balakrishnan sir..thank you sir for the advice...but the thing is i am a psychiatrist n for last 1 n half year..i hv been adjusting for the issues n i counselled her many times ...but keeps on doing the same thng..almost everyday she makes qurel which will not settle down n she threatens me n even her parents also do the same...also took the matter to elders to settle down dey startd new issues saying that i harass her s*xually...for last 8 months she is in her house...hardly i went to her 10-15 times to see the kid...rt from 3rd dayof marrige she startd saying that she doesnt hav intrest in family life....as i was movin accoding to her needs...she strtd creating new issues....

tq deepak. see sir, do you know a man carrying on his shoulders he went on searching for sheep. You know any subjective person cannot analyse things objectively.

Reason is though we say  very man knows where his shoe pinches', but fact is not as he also searches where shoe pinches;

Please consult a professional social or family psychologist by requesting her - your wife - to check herself with a family or social or clinical psychologist so that you both can appreciate what went wrong and how to remedy things most possible way, that might enthuse her family as marriages are not meant for breakage of marriages and peaceful living;

Marriages are conceived by man only as he has a great functional mind unlike just Animals is it not . please try   and i am sure your life and hers would regain common momentum in right directions for continuing a happy married life!

with my best wishes to both of you