Husband not taking care of my sister

I'll go with Aishwarya..what is told is the fact.

just total submission of your(our) sister to husband can save her marriage , like our mothers & grandmothers.

My sister is not getting medical treatment on time. He does not even talk with my sister for years now, this way a women is harrassed mentally by her husband.

This is beating by leg with mouth forcefully closed.

What else total submission we should do ? That rich guy has ruined our family & having fun. Why is he not allowing us to meet his parents ask question for what he is doing ? Why he and his parents have put bangles ? Why his parents are not taking responsibility ? Because they have money & power that means they should behave unhuman & we should be totally submissive ? If he is a man why he does not come to our home & talk with us ?

We married our sister putting trust on his parents. Why they are not interfering ?

We should leave him just like that so he remarry ?

My sister has said she will not give divorce even if she stays with him or with us. Neither she wants him to remarry to someone ? How anyone can expect to share own physical intimate property ?

He even does not respond to my call, sms & email. I am feeling helpless for my beloved sister.

@krishna,

maybe your overdue interference in their life can also be one reason.. Its obvious that more than your sister, you want her to be with you for a lifetime as you wrote before.. It seems your extra love for your sister will definitely ruin her marriage - if it hasnt done so..

Let me tell you how things changed. 

My sister got married in  Mar 2008, her husband was in singapore working at that time & my sister had to finish her last year of graduate. Later he came back in Jan 2009. He took my sister to bangalore in march 2009. Initial 2 months were very good. My parents went to drop my sister to bangalore, his parents also had came there. There was a very very happy family. Within 2 months my sister had got admitted to a hospital in bangalore for 1 months she was there. There after her husband started behaving abnormally. He asked us to returns things which he had given to us, like mobile from me. After that he quit job in aug 2009 & started his business. His parents had left house when my sister was in hospital. They even did not care of my sister in hospital. They did not even speak with my sister since then. Such rich people doing cheap things.

My sister is very soft girl. Only me and my younger sister knows what she is going through last 2-3 years. Her husband does not talks for months, does not taking care of her, does not share anything with her, does not give clothes to my sister even on festivals. Instead he keeps on talking on phone for hours with his friends, relatives. He does gives expensive gifts to his friends & relatives and not a single dress in last 2 years to my sister. He does not even introduces my sister to his friends & relatives, is my sister a servent in his home ? he does even not eat in home, keeps his bedroom locked always, is my sister a thief? This is not a mental torchure ?

We are not allowed and welcomed in his house because he is rich. We have intouch with my sister only via phone. Only few relatives who went to solve issue have met my sister for a while.

As such there is nothing left so called marriage. His behaviour has ruined my sister's life.

But still my mother & my sister is not ready for divorce. So much patience of my mother & sister.

If we bring my sister forcibly without his consent, as he is not available during day, can it affect marriage ? is this legally correct ?

Let my sister be with us for a year or two years so till she will recover fully & also her husband come to know value of my sister.

Please guide me a proper way.

What if i bring my sister when her husband is outside home during day keeping a note that my sister is leaving to our house ?

can be this reason for divorce?

If my sister does not go for 2-3 years back to her husband house & we keep telling we will send her, can he get divorce on this reason.

Since my sister will continue her higher studies which she left in middle, this can be a valid reason for her stay in our house.  Also we know her husband will never come to our house.

Kindly suggest asap.

@krishna,

wow!!!! you dont want your sister to live with her husband and you dont want to get her divorced. Its eems that you want to remote contriol everything. You also dont want your actions to hurt your unmarried sister. Think again.. you said your sister's husband doesnt give her clotrhes or money - how does she survive? what does she wear. Please dont write things like these in a public forum - we have heard such kinds of things hundreds of times here

@Krishna.  If your sister is willing to come back to parental house and if that is what she wants you can go and get her back home it is not illegal, in fact saving her from detention.  I can understand your family situation, your father gives lot of importance to family's honor.  He also has another daughter to get married.  So he has fears that if the word spreads in society that your elder sister came back from her matrimonial home due to disputes with her husband, your second sister may not get matches.  So he does not want your sister to be back at home.  Being a sensitive girl, your sister also does not want to hurt your father by coming back home.

You are a rebel in the family, generally the adolescent chaps are very rebellous and honest in their rebellion.  I appreciate your concern for your sister.  Very few people care so much about their sisters like you and your other (unmarried) sister do.  I feel yours is a very good family having strong emotional bondages with each other but suffering due to modern, elitist, arrogant family of your sister's husband. 

In these circumstances, the best option is to convince your father and get her back home.  As you are saying, yours is a poor family, your father may be worried on that aspect too apart from family's honor.  How to bear a woman who comes back home from matrimonial home, expenses and all?  But your father needs education very direly at this point of time, he needs to be educated that his daughter cannot remain there against her will and if she returns home and spends time back at home, it does not hurt the image of family, nobody cares such things these days. 

In fact bringing your sister back to home will reveal the true nature of your brother in law because if he has no concern for your sister and his own ego is important to him, he is likely to send Divorce petition to your sister.  Let it be so.  You file for maintenance when he files for divorce, as he is a rich fellow your sister will be getting handsome amount of maintenance from him and your father will be pleased (or relieved and have no objection to keep your sister at home) too. 

My reading is that your brother in law is behaving indifferently with you all because he wants you to take your sister back home so that he create an opportunity for himself to file for divorce.