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Cyrus (EMPLOYEE)     23 January 2014

My story of divorce and flalse allegations of harassment

Not sure if my decision was right, But i am not Happy and want my wife back.

 

I was married in Oct 2012 with lots of dreams and ambitions. Being from a middle class family I had my responsibilities and duties to perform because of 

 

which i could not continue staying abroad and return back to India to get married and settle down in India.

 

I was really happy to find my perfect half (Yeah, she was perfect in every sense). Having stayed with her in a different city(Bangalore) away from my 

 

parents(Hyderabad) for almost 8 months. We had a very comfortable life. I earn decent enough to pay my EMI(bought land at my home city), live life 

 

comfortably (In a rented house in Blr) and never compromise on any important luxuries like Movies, Roaming around, decent shopping every week, Occasional 

 

gifting, visit either parents place atleast once in 2 months etc.

 

As in every married couples life, we did have some arguments like Me not agreeing to call her mom every alternate day (I speak to her once in 2 weeks), Me 

 

not agreeing to take her sister along with us for movies etc. She not agreeing to visit my parents place once a month etc. These are of so minute intensity 

 

that they get solved in some 30 mins and we will be back together laughing.

 

Life was going good until June 2013 when her mother and 2 younger sisters arrived at our place for a vacation of 1 month. I used to get delicious food every 

 

day and also, i have taken every care of them by taking them to many places on weekends as its their first visit.

 

Slowly her mom started pressurising me about my plans of buying an apartment, buying a car, settling down in bangalore etc. I was not planning all those as i 

 

already have my EMI running but definitely will like to settle down in our own apartment someday with a Car and other such luxuries. But for that i would 

 

need some time and also some support from my wife in terms of finance if required. Gradually, on each passing day the talks started getting intensified.

 

One day my wife conveyed her wish to me to study further and complete her MBA which i was very much ready and did some analysis to come up with available 

 

options and colleges for her. But i insisted to complete all her studying ambitions in next 2 years as we need to plan for our family. Her age has already 

 

touched 30 now. There was an argument about why i am looking for kids so early and why did i marry a girl of this age. etc etc. there were few arguments from 

 

her mother as well.

 

My wife and her mother one day demanded that my wife has a wish to complete her MBA in US and so, i should allow her to travel to US and i should sponsor her 

 

education. I wasnt that comfortable with that idea because of my financial limitations and many personal reasons and so, i denied.

 

Finally after my mother-in-law left, my wife expressed her desire to go to her home town with her sister and spend some time there.I insisted to come along 

 

her to drop but she pre-booked her tickets along with her sister and informed me just a day before about her travel.

 

Since then, the calls are never picked up and we never spoke. I waited for few days and then travelled to her place to get her back. As soon as i entered her 

 

house i was welcomed with an argument involving my parents etc. I was angry too and returned back to my place in Hyderabad. I spoke with my parents and asked 

 

my father to visit there and get my wife back. When my father was there they spoke in a harsh tone and my wife requested some time before she comes back.

 

2 months passed by with me sending SMS to her every couple of hours, calls almost 3 to 4 times a day and emails every day. Not only me but my Mom, Dad, and 

 

sister also tried contactng them but they never responded.

 

I tried to contact them in every possible way, her parents, her relatives, friends, colleagues, my friends etc. FInally once i went to her place again to 

 

apologise for any of my mistake and get her back. They didnot even care to open the door and abused me. They demanded me to come along with my parents to 

 

talk further.

 

After a month or so, i convinced my parents and we all travelled together to her place to talk. it was pre-informed to them by SMS abt our travel.

 

Almost 15-20 ppl were present at her place for the discussion. As expected, the discussions were harsh and they came up to conclude that i am impotent and 

 

were ready with Mutual divorce docs prepared by some lawyer for me to sign along with some allimony (Almost 20 Lakhs).

 

We denied the allegations and escaped back to our place. We took some time for things to cool down a bit before talking further. In the mean time. I 

 

approached 2 famous hospitals to get my Potency check done and was ready with reports which were more than normal. I still requested my wife by Emails to 

 

think abt such decisions as it is not going to help anyone.

 

After around 2 weeks, my parents started getting threatening calls from her mother and uncles that they would file some Criminal cases etc against me and my 

 

family if i didnot sign the divorce papers in next 2 weeks. This started troubling me as i work in private firm, my father is govt employee. I immediately 

 

spoke with my manager and other friends to know the impact if i am arrested or any FIR is filed against me. Everyone advised me to resolve this and get out 

 

of this mess.

 

FInally with the help of my reports and other family members my parents and me are forced to sign the documents and they demanded some 5 lakhs as allimony 

 

which we agreed to pay.

 

As a last try, Before i was signing the papers, i requested my wife again if she can re-think and wait for just 6 more months and if she still insists then 

 

we can go ahead and sign. she and her mother were too stubborn to accept that. We got divorced on Nov 17th.

 

But, i still cannot get out of those thoughts as i had all my dreams involving her. I dream of her every day and sometimes suddenly wake up in sleep to 

 

confirm if all that happened was a dream and my wife is with me.

 

But NO. She is gone, but what hurts me is. there is no reason for our split. Its just unexpected.

 

I am still trying my best to find appropriate time that i can meet her and convince her. Not sure if i am doing right.



Learning

 4 Replies

sandykrish (Interested in Family LAW)     23 January 2014

My dear friend accept the reality that she married you only for the sake of Money, legal money in the form of Alimony, please dont think too much about her this is not going to help you any more. Think wisely and take care of your family your two gems mother and father, there are lot of good girls who will definitely enter into your life and you will definitely see many changes in the life.

Visit the psychologist and take appropriate measures to throw the thoughts out of your mind. There is a say once bitten twice shy, why would you go back to hear when you know that she is not worth, then too after divorce not advisable, you have done a good thing by signing off her from your mind.........

I am based out of Bangalore, if you need any assistance we are happy to provide you. I'm not a lawyer but a sufferer like you and wish to be a saviour for those who suffer.

great india (manager)     23 January 2014

i think my dear friend ur lucky mascot got away in less amount and in mcd. just like the way you described a friend of mine was into deep live by a deserted wife thinking she woukd improve. he eas gifted with a 498+dv and lots of trauma and abuses. thank your god and move on

Cyrus (EMPLOYEE)     24 January 2014

Thanks for the support Guys, U rightly said that i should sign her off from my mind and MOVE ON... that definitely is going to take good amount of time and i want to move back to my home place with my parents to Hyderabad. But, i cannot go just to avoid neighbours questioning abt my wife's where abouts. i dont need their sympathy or concern.

My Wife, for whom i used to cook and feed her to mouth every day (Yes, i did that every day) finally left me with a hefty Personal Loan and loads of sorrow to me and my family.

Somehow, This is what life is. Reading all the posts here, I believe i am more lucky than anyone here. Sorry for everyone and May god give peace to everyone.

 

@Sandy - I would definitely like to speak with you, just to share each others concerns and be supportive to ourselves and for anyone in need. Thanks!!

Cyrus (EMPLOYEE)     24 January 2014

Thanks for the support Guys, U rightly said that i should sign her off from my mind and MOVE ON... that definitely is going to take good amount of time and i want to move back to my home place with my parents to Hyderabad. But, i cannot go just to avoid neighbours questioning abt my wife's where abouts. i dont need their sympathy or concern.

My Wife, for whom i used to cook and feed her to mouth every day (Yes, i did that every day) finally left me with a hefty Personal Loan and loads of sorrow to me and my family.

Somehow, This is what life is. Reading all the posts here, I believe i am more lucky than anyone here. Sorry for everyone and May god give peace to everyone.

 

@Sandy - I would definitely like to speak with you, just to share each others concerns and be supportive to ourselves and for anyone in need. Thanks!!


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