Save my marriage

Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn
	Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn Originally posted by : Deepthi Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh It look like Men's club and Indian women's have no right to approach Police Station. Its an reason why justice always delay due to argument and not considering fact. Is there any alternative suggestion by Expert, if yes than highly appreciated. Source: Petty case of Nazir Ahmed (employee at IP&T) more than 20 complaint in PS by his wife, still living together. Rightly said. Women who approch p.s is called as 3rd grade women..How sick that is..  Hello, You have already approached police for help and realised that approaching police of matrimonial matter is of no use.  How else do you think you can save your marriage?  What are your plans?  Can you expalin if possible?  I want to know what exactly is going on in your mind regarding the present position and also your future.   Sure Rakesh. I approched the p.s to help me go back to my matrimonial house, could it be through a counselling or by any other legal means. I can't be seperated from my husband in just 2.5 months. Even to apply a divorce we need live for a yr. Which means any person needs at least a year's time to get along. So the same had been requested for. All I want is to have a happy family without any disputes. Talking to a person face to face will help to sort a lot of issues but unfortunately none of the family members from my husband's side is coperating for this. In fact there was a time when they ran away locking the doors. My in-laws are overthinkers. They think too much ever before something happens, not just in this situation but even during my stay I noticed they over react for nothing. They fear everything something like a OCD symtoms. With such people around my husband is not able to stand and talk to us. In the name of proctecting himself he records every call, he saves every message, and repeatdly talks about having call records. For me all these sound so silly like a childish thing. He approced the police first for counselling but after which he never turned for it. I went there 4 times and all the 4 times I was highly disappointed. N the last time I had no option but to file a case stating that "inspite of the disputes I wish to live with him, coz he is more like a child and I need sometime to understand him better and behave accordingly". It's an arranged marriage and both of us need sometime for each other but that hadn't happened with the overthinkers arround. N I'm 200% sure that I have no plans to divorce & re-marry. N this is my problem. He wont accept you back, nor his parents will let you into their house.  You tried, to go back. They wont let you come in. He is absconding. You still want to go back.  They dont want you.  Now what you will do? Then its an absolute cheating case isn't it ?? Marriage for Money..A decent rape in the name of Marriage. Mental and Physical torture. I left my job, family, and everything for him, yet I was thrown out. No repect, no loyality, fake promises & fake marriage. If he is absconding with no answers and leaving me a such a worst state then he and his family has to get punished, so that no other girl will ever suffer like the way I'm sufferring. I shall ensure that the justice is given. I'm no doll to enjoy, have fun and throw away in 2 months. N no matter what, there is no question of divorce. Very right. You have cold. I asked what will you do now.  You are explaining, my nose is running, I cant hear properly, I have blurry eyes, I have headache, I cant tolerate sound, I cant sleep, I am sneezing, I cant sit at one place, I am having bodyache etc etc.   I asked, what you will do?  You tell you want to get them punished.  Complaint you have already filed.  Case should now move to court.  But the question is how will you punish these cheaters?  What will you get by punishing them?  Can you really get them punished?  There are many loopholes in system, they wont get punished at all.  What will you do?   You don’t want divorce, but do you know if your husband asks for divorce he will get it, even if you oppose it? I shall fight for my rights. I shall get peace in saving myself from the mental torture of getting cheated by not leaving those criminals. Also the most imp thing is that there should be NO other girl in his life who gets trapped in such a way. (All these are just in case he really is a cheater and just want to abscond, but my instinct still makes me keep a soft corner for him). If he wishes to get a divorce, I'm not stop it. He may apply for it and fight for his rights. But I don't wish to give him is my wish. It's not all that easy to leave a girl for no reason just in 2  months. N he isn't criminal to cook up false stories to get rid of me. Bottom line: He loves me more than me but he is just a mommy's child. N his family members are taking an advantage of it. N I want him to understand that. How you will fight for your rights?  What are your rights? Can you explain?

Being a cheated, abused and beaten, I have the rights to complain against the accused and ensure that they are punised accordingly. I'm not gonna let any accused go out of the law. Will save every proof that I have against them and put them infront of the law. If not the court then, we go to the NHRC or NCW.

More than calling myself as a Victim I shall call myself as a fighter againts these cheaters.

Originally posted by : Deepthi
	Being a cheated, abused and beaten, I have the rights to complain against the accused and ensure that they are punised accordingly. I'm not gonna let any accused go out of the law. Will save every proof that I have against them and put them infront of the law. If not the court then, we go to the NHRC or NCW. More than calling myself as a Victim I shall call myself as a fighter againts these cheaters.

That's what I am asking, how will you ensure that they are punished? Under what law will you get them punished? Everything can be managed easily.  You go NHRC or NCW or to some politician, nothing much will happen. Even if you dont file divorce or even if he does not file divorce, his parents disown him, and he is never available and never gets caught, what will you do then?  

All I can do is go legally and make it public that this person and his family did such nasty things. In spite of that if they try to influence and make it a fake case then I will go to every court and every council until I get justice..It may take years or I may even die but I shall NOT leave such people. Playing with a girl's life is NO joke.

Originally posted by : Deepthi
	All I can do is go legally and make it public that this person and his family did such nasty things. In spite of that if they try to influence and make it a fake case then I will go to every court and every council until I get justice..It may take years or I may even die but I shall NOT leave such people. Playing with a girl's life is NO joke.

So no more dreams of kids, no more dreams of  family. etc etc. Revenge is the last stop?

Well that made my heart heavy and my eyes wet. I never wished to work, I always wished to be home maker and all of it is ending in no time. I put down my papers as soon as I tied a knot that committed I was. N now thinking of a new family and kids is no where in the picture. Like I said before, marriage and relationship with my husband is so sacred (at least for me) and I can't have a life without him and kids out of him is no way. :'(

Originally posted by : Deepthi
	Well that made my heart heavy and my eyes wet. I never wished to work, I always wished to be home maker and all of it is ending in no time. I put down my papers as soon as I tied a knot that committed I was. N now thinking of a new family and kids is no where in the picture. Like I said before, marriage and relationship with my husband is so sacred (at least for me) and I can't have a life without him and kids out of him is no way. :'(

From page 1 to page 4 it has come to this stage.

NHRC, NCW will come to help if they get media coverage.  Media works for money.  You will have to arrange media to cover your story, flassh your husbands photo, make severe charges against him and his parents, make them look like villains, bribe officials.  Then some day your husband might be caught.  Then too there is no guarantee that he will stay with you forever. Murders happen, cimes are commited due to many reason.  In that if you catch hold of your husband you should make him have s*x with you.  Then you should get pregnant, and have children.  After doing this much circus, what state would the man be in? Men do commit suicide.  Women also commit suicide.  Some are termed murder.  Most murder cases end in party accepting money and witness turning hostile.

System is not proper.  One man has taken zimma of changing system called as Kejri.  I hear  Kejri too is corrupt.  And you want to save your marriage.

You can adopt this.

https://youtu.be/uGZ395ga-K0

Style too.  Marriages last for many reasons.  But here you should catch absconding husband.  He ran off already. Next sniffer dog?

I am not making joke of your situation, but sometime later you will feel you itself have become a joke.  Wait and see.  Marriage requires unending adjustment it seems.  Police are busy catching people riding without helmet.  Be positive.  Be hopeful.  Dont cry.  

Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh
	Sir, (Adv. R.Martyn) If you have ideal suggestion to Querist then respond. And in response to your reply, whether I'm married or not? I,m interested in sharing knowledge & not to teach people/member about "Origin of Life on Earth & Law of Existence of human being" @Deepthi, You are full with Blunder, if you are in LCI to chat??? Do what I suggest, if I would be wrong then you have to argue with me. Request IO(Investigation Officer) to reduce charges & feel your Fundamental rights in court room. PLZ CLOSED THREAD AFTER READ.

Sir,

 

There is no ideal solution or solution to matrimonial problems.  That you will come to know only if you come to know the essence of marriage and family life, than to adjust with each other.

 

Lakhs of women and men stand in line in front of Family Court to get so called “Justice” without understanding the essence of marriage and married life, which is ADJUSTMENT.

 

Family Court also tells them to adjust with each other by giving date after date.  They wont understand.  The Family Court has already given option to adjust through mutual divorce or re-joining both they don’t do.  They put unacceptable conditions and prolong getting the so called “JUSTICE”.

 

If Deepthi had in her to adjust with the husband (that includes everything, in-laws, his relatives, his demand for dowryetc etc) she would not have been facing this situation what she is facing now.

 

There is no solution for men and women who are facing marital problems or marital discord.  This is the ultimate truth.

 

The solution for happy and peaceful married life is only one thing, unlimited adjustment with spouse and situation without complaining.

 

You want to complain? There are umpteen online forums to seek legal advice, police station, ngo, save Indian family, courts etc etc etc.  but those who don’t have it in them to adjust with people, nobody can help them.  That is the moral of the story Mr Singh!

Originally posted by : Adv. Rakesh Martyn
	Originally posted by : Deepthi Well that made my heart heavy and my eyes wet. I never wished to work, I always wished to be home maker and all of it is ending in no time. I put down my papers as soon as I tied a knot that committed I was. N now thinking of a new family and kids is no where in the picture. Like I said before, marriage and relationship with my husband is so sacred (at least for me) and I can't have a life without him and kids out of him is no way. :'( From page 1 to page 4 it has come to this stage. NHRC, NCW will come to help if they get media coverage.  Media works for money.  You will have to arrange media to cover your story, flassh your husbands photo, make severe charges against him and his parents, make them look like villains, bribe officials.  Then some day your husband might be caught.  Then too there is no guarantee that he will stay with you forever. Murders happen, cimes are commited due to many reason.  In that if you catch hold of your husband you should make him have s*x with you.  Then you should get pregnant, and have children.  After doing this much circus, what state would the man be in? Men do commit suicide.  Women also commit suicide.  Some are termed murder.  Most murder cases end in party accepting money and witness turning hostile. System is not proper.  One man has taken zimma of changing system called as Kejri.  I hear  Kejri too is corrupt.  And you want to save your marriage. You can adopt this. https://youtu.be/uGZ395ga-K0 Style too.  Marriages last for many reasons.  But here you should catch absconding husband.  He ran off already. Next sniffer dog? I am not making joke of your situation, but sometime later you will feel you itself have become a joke.  Wait and see.  Marriage requires unending adjustment it seems.  Police are busy catching people riding without helmet.  Be positive.  Be hopeful.  Dont cry.

https://youtu.be/uGZ395ga-K0 this is really so sick. I pity both of them. I would rather punish the guy legally but not marry him that way. I shall not force him to this extent though coz this will spoil my life too.

He wants a divorce let him apply but I shall not agree for it. DOT. He can go to whichever extent he wishes to. Meanwhile like most them suggested I shall keep myself occupied with a temporary job (with a hope that some day I shall go back to my husband). If kids are written on my fate things will get well soon.

N thanks a lot for all the suggestions and live examples, this was of much help. At times a bitter truth might sound rude but I understand that we have to accept it someday. Thanks Bro.

 

At the late age of 32, you have married the wrong person and into the wrong family. Do not expect anything good from this marriage. Get out of it. Unlike most others I see in this Forum, you have good command of English. Use it and live.

Originally posted by : Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech]
	At the late age of 32, you have married the wrong person and into the wrong family. Do not expect anything good from this marriage. Get out of it. Unlike most others I see in this Forum, you have good command of English. Use it and live.

Well thank you Sir, this command had come from my Post graduation in the language and my work experience as an Content Analyst for 8 long yrs. This experience which I thought will never be used again coz I'm happily married, is now becoming my source for my living again. The p.g degree that I laughed at when I tied a knot is now laughing at me.

I really wonder why women are trapped in the name of marriage. And this is a worst case where I was literally used for 3 months, such a shameful act by the entire family.

My sympthies for women like you.

For you they are bad family, improper family, wrong family? For them you and your family are bad family, improper family and wrong family.

Its tu tu main main.  Absolutely agree with Adv Rakesh Martyn.

You dont have neither the patience nor idea what it takes to stay married.

Once matter is in police station, marriage is over.  You simply screwed up the only chance you got at life.  Second marriages fail miserably than 1st marriages.  Most girls and boys do the same mistake as you which is saddening.  Day by day the institution of marriage is breaking slowly and steadily.

You ignore all prejudiced opinions and advices here.  You concentrate on your work and make it your life. You cannot get divorce before one year from the date of marriage. But get out of this as early as possible. Do not give up hope. 32 is not too late either to marry and to have children. Only a few men are bad in this world. You will find a good one who will appreciate you and your work. Marry him. Work and marriage can go together. I wish you good luck.

Originally posted by : Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech]
	You ignore all prejudiced opinions and advices here.  You concentrate on your work and make it your life. You cannot get divorce before one year from the date of marriage. But get out of this as early as possible. Do not give up hope. 32 is not too late either to marry and to have children. Only a few men are bad in this world. You will find a good one who will appreciate you and your work. Marry him. Work and marriage can go together. I wish you good luck.

Thank you Ramani.

Well advised by Dr MPS Ramani , Can we please close this tread now, the lady is advised sufficiently !!!